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File: im going to jail.jpg (35 KB, 355x280) Worst first date experiences? Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue)00:13:01 No.883562814 [Reply] ► >be me, 24 y/o virgin >finally get a date with a real girl >we go back to my place after dinner to watch a movie >sitting on the couch having a good time >"anon wheres your bathroom?" >she walks up the stairs as i pause the movie >as i hear the bathroom door shut i realise my mistake >i forgot i booby trap my toilet in case i get robbed >i start running up the stairs to warn her when i hear it >BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG THUD >the 22 firecrackers under the toilet seat go off sequentially followed by a brick in the ceiling falling on her head >she starts screaming as i near the door trying to reach her before the rest of it happens >too late >theres a loud gushing noise as 30 liters of a sticky substance i invented myself by combining honey and gasoline pour onto the toilet and the victim >a confetti cannon under the sink shoots a wad of pigeon feathers i took from the slow pigeons at the park directly at the toilet >i reach the door and open it to see her shaking and crying covered head to toe looking like a human sized deformed and bleeding chicken >she reaches out for my help and i grimace as the sawn off cylinder bore lead pellet shotgun behind the shower curtain fires and turns her head into a fine mist >i dont think im getting a second date

The booby trap is working | /r/Greentext


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File: aziz.jpg (84 KB, 720x540) No S COVEN TO YOUR DO Minutes Free!' teed Joe's Pepper ☐ Anonymous 01/05/25(Sun)21:04:00 No.207634914 >Why don't you get Abdul to deliver it? >>207635324 >>207635417 >"They found his passport lying on top of the wreckage. NOW GO!!!" ☐ Anonymous 01/05/25(Sun)21:33:05 No.207635312 >Look, kid, I got a newspaper to run and I need a picture of the splattered corpses at Ground Zero in seven minutes! >Fine, here. >Crap. Run it on page one with the headline "Spider-Man Leaves Trade Tower Victims to Die!" Give you two hundred bucks for the picture. >Three hundred for that and one from my private "LOL SUPERMAN" stash. >That's outrageous! Done. ☐ Anonymous 01/05/25(Sun)21:33:41 No.207635318 ► File: 1736073212833.jpg (230 KB, 1280×720) o Smoking IR DOOR >GOOOooooO00000000 Dr lepper le INCE 0000 ☐ Anonymous 01/05/25(Sun)21:41:18 No.207635417 File: americanmoviescene.png (449 KB, 720x540) Pepper Dr Pepper Pepper Pepper Dr Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Dr Pepper Pepper Dr Pepper Pepper Dr Pepper lepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Dr epper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Dr Pepper >>207634914 (OP). >american movies
MIRROR NOW MIRRORNOW.IN CALIFORNIA FIRES WATCH: DEADLY FIRES GRIP HOLLYWOOD STARS' HOMES | Anonymous (ID: baWLIwd7 | 01/09/25(Thu)17:14:43 No.493843417 >be rich af >lose one of your multimillion dollar mansions in a fire >go on the news and cry about your loss from a 5 star hotel >everyone on redderp expresses their sorrow and sends condolences redshit logic: obscene wealth = good if you're a Dem
Anonymous ITT: Cooking buzzwords you hat(...) 1.4 MB WEBM 11/01/24(Fri)04:24:25 No.20946633 >comfort food All food is supposed to be comforting, there's no non-comfort food that's worth cooking. >soul food Its just basic American homemade dishes, but greasier and overcooked. >creamy Probably means it is tasteless without being buried in heavy whipping cream to mask the taste. >garlicky See above, just replace whipping cream with garlic. >fusion Oh wow, you added soy sauce to it, such fusion. Anonymous 11/01/24(Fri)04:39:15 No.20946637 >literal autistic retard triggered by everyday words and phrases thread no #43923948234 >>20946994 # >>20947280 #
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Uploaded Aug 09, 2022 at 02:44PM EDT

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Greentext Stories

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