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: Anonymous 3.58 MB JPG 09/13/22(Tue)10:47:32 No.4300627 >adopt her >feed her the best food >pour her the purest of H20 >take her to the best of vets >buy her any toy to keep her entertained >treat her like a queen >respect her privacy >in return she : hisses at me for causing any minor inconvenience, bites me if i touched her in some way, doesn't respect my personal space, won't set on my lap

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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File size: 39.9 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon meets a chad in vrchat | /r/Greentext

Megalon3.png 85 KB PNG >go to a club in vrchat >a huge t---- dragon girl and a cat girl are groping each other and kissing >a f------ dude runs over as this guy >screams 'I AM MEGALON' >crashes the map

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Anon posts on TruthSocial | /r/Greentext

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! 0 Anonymous (ID: (wyXqtq3g 09/13/22 (Tue)08:59:15 No.395164811 [Reply] >>395174471 >>395174725 >>395175504 >make TruthSocial account >username is QR_rainmaker >don't post or comment >the queen dies >lightbulb.jpeg >the queen is dead -> the q is dead ->q is dead -> long live qr >i am now larping as qr, aka q 2.0, on TruthSocial >start posting plausible conspiracy theories about the chinese government spying on us >get positive comments >seems like people are taking me seriously >get email >"you have been banned from TruthSocial" >mfw

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anon isn't the sharpest tool in the shed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 59 KB PNG 08/25/18(Sat)17:02:31 No.778151892 >friend sends me iq test >okay ill do it > finish test and get 75 iq >i cant show this to my friend >i do the test again knowing answers >get 73 >mfw

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Anon has a Jewish room mate. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: NABivc0z 05/07/20(Thu)16:51:36 No.256576962 file.png 1.6 MB PNG Help how do I stop my jewish room mate from doing this? >>256577124 # >>256577462 # >>256579048 # >>256579608 # >>256579698 # >>256579813 #

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anon's school events | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/17/18(Wed)00:22:54 No.42551236 >Teacher f------ a hot student in the gym locker rooms after school (Fired she was 18) > Teacher got so mad he threw a desk at a student (Fired) >Teacher came to school wasted (Fired) >Teacher browsed the living f--- out of Infowars and would regurgitate every dumb as f--- conspiracy theory to us instead of teaching us American History. Also made us watch Wizard of Oz alongside Dark Side of the Moon. Once stood on his desk SCREAMING about water filters. Named the jew a few times. Also heavily hinted that the Holocaust was faked (Still employed) >Class bullied a teacher so badly she cried (Still Employed) >Goth chick told us she was going to bring a gun to class and murder us. The class jock responded with "Do it c---" >Kid punched a window out in the hallway and cut a major artery and died (Still dead) >Stacy and cheerfriends botched a "throw the girl in the air" during a pep rally and she snapped her arm to a 90degree angle in front of the whole school >Kid s--- himself during a test because he didn't study for it Oh small town USA

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Anon needs advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 369 KB JPG 09/13/22(Tue)18:48:24 No.885588429 >be me >have bad social anxiety >forever alone >decide to try to get a gf >still unable to approach women >make plan >wait for group project in school >get paired with 2 girls >decide to use the plan >break out a pre-planned conversation with the girls, designed to flow naturally >spent like 30 minutes practicing it in my head, so I have it down >mfw it works >they're both responding positively >it's closing time Do you think I could get your snaps? >mfw one enthusiastic yes and one socially obligated yes Later that day >decide to hit one of them up >I'm not 100% sure whether she's gay >I'm not 100% sure whether she's single >no idea how to ask What do I do anons?

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Anons love a based female Prime Minister | /r/Greentext

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Anon does some trolling | /r/Greentext

>working in a high end restaurant >chef is hard ass german >decide to f--- with him >bartender brings up case of apple juice in cans, and leaves it in the kitchen >snag 3 cans from the case, and crank the oven to 500 >service starts >it's time >place cans of apple juice in the oven >they start to melt and contort, leaking apple juice into the inferno of an oven >chef walks into the kitchen >"VAT IS ZAT HISSING" >try to contain my laughter as k---- chef opens the oven door to see melting cans of juice >k---- chef starts yelling "WHY IZ ZE JEWZ IN ZE OVEN, TAKE ZE JEWZ OUT OF ZE OVEN me >entire dining room can hear him >k---- chef never found out that it was

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Anon thinks he's 6 feet tall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/13/22(Tue)15:21:41 No.70198725 (sad music playing) 78 KB JPG >be me >tell my idiot classmates that im 6 feet tall >they dont believe me and say that im 5'11 and coping >my id says 6 feet to i pull it out to show them all how wrong they are >when i show them my id they see that my name isnt anon >they see that my real name is flart plungus >instantly they all start making fun of me for my name >they still even call me a manlet despite evidence to the contrary i hate my parents

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Anon reads lolita | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/13/22(Tue)05:45:28 No.20982432 80 KB JPG >be me >some girl recommends me to read L----- >she told me that this book is very romantic and "filled with love" >decide to read it >in fictitious foreword it is stated that Humbert is charged with homicide >it's also implied that he did something horrible 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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You will never be this cool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri)15:40:09 No.173897647 969 ES Sig peper dadaan 功夫 650465 7981 epleplep 東 COLOU 功夫 GOGO 但回回回回 SADECE L 南東 Codede COLDED 1653815327082.jpg 1.3 MB JPG V (54 ਹਹਹਹਹਹ dada de O aeg CADDES >He didn't secretly carry his official Jackie Chan Magazine talismans in his pocket to school

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Anon has a realisation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Is Satan really that bad? 46 KB JPG 09/14/22(Wed)06:55:05 No.32872711 God: >Flooded the whole Earth >Killed billions of people >Punishes his very creations for a living 13 Replies Satan: >Didn't kill anyone >Only thought that he was better than God because of that >God got pissy and told everyone that Satan was actually the bad guy View Thread

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Greentext Stories - All females are the same | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 3.58 MB JPG 09/13/22(Tue)10:47:32 No.4300627 >adopt her >feed her the best food >pour her the purest of H20 >take her to the best of vets >buy her any toy to keep her entertained >treat her like a queen >respect her privacy >in return she : hisses at me for causing any minor inconvenience, bites me if i touched her in some way, doesn't respect my personal space, won't set on my lap

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