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Champions Are Made, Not Born
Uploaded by Philipp Sep 18, 2022 at 09:45AM EDT
Origin Entry: 2022 Hans Niemann Chess Cheating Controversy
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![4 [-] XITro 234 points 9 days ago* (last edited 9 days ago) The real answer is actually elementary. Magnus cheats. He's always had a--- beads up his butt, maybe for the past 10 years. That's how he's been dominating the entire field of players. There was a slight dip during the time he played Caruana because he was so drunk he couldn't feel the vibrations well and ended up losing a game. His team decided to turn up the vibrations to max and that's how Magnus survived the encounter. Recently Magnus realized the a--- bead supercomputer design he created had been stolen. Of course he couldn't come clean about cheating, so he drummed up the excuse of being bored so he wouldn't lose the World Championships to Nepo, who he suspects to have stolen the a--- bead design after being humiliated in their prior contest. Magnus' suspicions were further evidenced by Nepo's performance during the Candidates. As /u/GothamChess [¹] said, however, success is addictive, and Magnus decided to aim for 2900 before retiring for good. Little did he know, the real thief was the cocky supervillain Hans. Hans employed the a--- bead tactic against Magnus. Being new to use the device, however, Hans didn't know that the signals he sent from his beads interfered with Magnus' device. Magnus feels unprompted vibrations on his prostate and realizes Hans stole his poopchute stockfish but couldn't use his own to retaliate lest Hans knew he was the true inventor of the device. That's why Magnus was uncharacteristically prone to inaccuracies and proceeded to lose the game. Afterwards, Magnus withdrew from the tournament, but not before putting out a vague tweet. While everyone interpreted it as Hans cheating, in reality, Magnus was also cheating but can't release definite proof since he'd also be in "big trouble". Case solved.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/440/605/4ad.png "hans niemann")
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![4 [-] XITro 234 points 9 days ago* (last edited 9 days ago) The real answer is actually elementary. Magnus cheats. He's always had a--- beads up his butt, maybe for the past 10 years. That's how he's been dominating the entire field of players. There was a slight dip during the time he played Caruana because he was so drunk he couldn't feel the vibrations well and ended up losing a game. His team decided to turn up the vibrations to max and that's how Magnus survived the encounter. Recently Magnus realized the a--- bead supercomputer design he created had been stolen. Of course he couldn't come clean about cheating, so he drummed up the excuse of being bored so he wouldn't lose the World Championships to Nepo, who he suspects to have stolen the a--- bead design after being humiliated in their prior contest. Magnus' suspicions were further evidenced by Nepo's performance during the Candidates. As /u/GothamChess [¹] said, however, success is addictive, and Magnus decided to aim for 2900 before retiring for good. Little did he know, the real thief was the cocky supervillain Hans. Hans employed the a--- bead tactic against Magnus. Being new to use the device, however, Hans didn't know that the signals he sent from his beads interfered with Magnus' device. Magnus feels unprompted vibrations on his prostate and realizes Hans stole his poopchute stockfish but couldn't use his own to retaliate lest Hans knew he was the true inventor of the device. That's why Magnus was uncharacteristically prone to inaccuracies and proceeded to lose the game. Afterwards, Magnus withdrew from the tournament, but not before putting out a vague tweet. While everyone interpreted it as Hans cheating, in reality, Magnus was also cheating but can't release definite proof since he'd also be in "big trouble". Case solved.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/440/605/4ad.png "hans niemann")
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2022 Hans Niemann Chess Cheating Controversy - Champions Are Made, Not Born
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Uploaded Sep 18, 2022 at 09:45AM EDT
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