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: Anonymous OOT OOK - OOT BERE 100 100 >Last night >Go to strip club >Pay for entry fee and drinks at the bar with real money >Spend all night drunk and paying strippers for private lap dances >It's dark and their drunk/high so they don't check to see "For Motion Picture Use Only" >Spend over $4,000 in useless money in one night >All the strippers love me >Get to touch their boobs and asses >Feel like Chad for one night >Only costed $9.99 + tax 487 KB JPG 01/22/22(Sat) 18:47:20 No.67108862 >Buy fake prop money off Amazon >Looks real as f--- I'm sure they figured it out by now so I can never go back there but man that felt good.

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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anon's lil bro started lifting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/22(Sun)13:02:15 No.68797824 >lil bro goes through his first break up >lil bro "wants to" start lifting >lil bro starts roiding because he doesn't want to wait >visit him on an evening to see how he's doing >he spends hours at the gym talking to half naked dudes about lifting >fantasizes about being a pro despite having spent little over three months in the gym >goes on omegle with a skin tight tank top trying to get mires 9 KB JPG >goes nuclear on random people when they're not impressed by his body >he posts 20 stories on instagram everday, all lifting >all he ever watches is random retards deadlifting with titles like "when you remember HER midset" I lost him bros didn't l?

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Anon is a big fan of Elon Musk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous EVDall 10/30/22(Sun)01:40:06 No.70782344 92 KB JPG words can't describe how much I hate this stupid rat faced s-------- known as Elon Musk. F--- this ugly f-----. >buys out twitter in desparate attempt to avoid lawsuit >allegedly r---- and abused a woman and paid her to be quiet about it >didn't work to get to where he is, just inherited daddy's money >thinks he's the funniest guy ever >has a child that cut off ties with him and wants nothing to do with him >somehow has an army of redditor dickriders I'm sick and tired of hearing about this Musk guy, I can't wait for the day someone puts a bullet through his head. Or better yet, f------ curb-stomp the stupid son of a bitch. Throw a f------ brick at his head.

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Rat-faced Asian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 163 KB JPG 10/30/22(Sun)07:52:17 No.70783482 >start talking to girl from this board on discord >she's really funny and has a great personality >but for some reason she doesn't want to reveal her face >thinking nothing of it for a while >eventually she wants to date me >tell her to send a picture of her face or i'm blocking her >5 minutes pass >(1) NEW MESSAGE >ohboyohboyohboy >4/10 rat-faced asian f--- you guys 21 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon plays D&D | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/25/11(Sun)23:15 No.16426614 File 1317006946.jpg-(96 KB, 634x456, sir bearington.jpg) MAR >Make a bear character in D&D 3.5 >DM laughs >Make bear a rogue, put every point I can into disguise >Prestige class as a spy to get more disguise >DM says I can't speak english >Max out bluff >By growling and gesturing, I can fake speaking a language I don't speak (english) >use money to hire a butler NPC >Give him magical item to let him speak bear "GROWWWWWL" "An excellent suggestion, Mister Bearington. We really should ask the group to investigate the Black Marsh >Over the course of the game, be knighted as Sir Bearington >Queen holds a dinner in my honor. >A guest becomes the first man to ever make a perception check that can beat my disguise >Shouts out loud "HEY, THAT GUY'S NOT A GUY, HE'S JUST A BEAR!" >Man is escorted out of the castle while the guards apologise profusely for the indignity "We're so sorry, Sir Bearington, very sorry for this man's behavior" "ROAR" *shrug*

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Anon listens to Sabbath | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ADAM Sv THAND HAN ER THE WHEAR BLACK SABBATH THE ULTIMATE COLLECTION 64 KB JPG 11/04/18(Sun)20:10:51 No.784074298 >be me >be at home listening to music >have subwoofer cranked because of ...and justice for all >song about to end >see next song in playlist >Black Sabbaths N.I.B. Panic.jpg >I dive for the sound system but it's too late >The bass intro starts causing a magnitude 9.0 earthquake >l die instantly And that's how I accidentally caused the Fukushima Daichi Nuclear Disaster

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Anon’s mom left some loose ends. | /r/Greentext

JPG 7.3 kB >be young >have a brother 1 year older >mother gets daily visitors >each time she gets a visitor she locks us in a room >looks away and says:"lookout for your retarded brother >each one of us thinks the other is retarded >mother dies Still don't know which one of us was the retarded one

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Anon hates Buddhism. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12 KB JPG 07/29/21(Thu)23:56:23 >"Hey, uhh, Buddha, what do you want on your pizza?" No.18745934 >"If you have to ask... then you don't know." >Buddha then shot a random guy in the face, just shot him in the f------ face and killed him, he's dead now, h-------- >The student was enlightened instantly Why are all buddhist stories like this? Are you supposed to actually be getting something from this or are they just trying to f--- with white people?

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Anon writes a poem for his crush | /r/Greentext

Christmas Cake.jpg ✩ (91 KB, 540x538) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 09/22/22(Thu)17:19:09 No.70312138 >Not the best writer, but I like the craft >Have been trying my hand at poetry even though I find it difficult >Have been crushing on this one girl really hard, think about her all the time >Never as happy as when I'm talking with her >She actually smiles at me, she laughs at my jokes and I don't get the feeling she's laughing at me, she's laughing with me, which is kind of a first in my life >Feel lightheaded and giddy whenever I'm around her >Try to put that feeling into a poem, it's not great, but it's the best I can do >DM the poem to her Twitter (because that's the only online account thing I know of her's) from a throwaway account with the comment "From a Secret Admirer" >Go to sleep dreaming that maybe she will recognize it's from me >The next day she runs up to me, laughing >"Anon, anon, look! Look at what this creep sent me yesterday!" >She shows me my poem >She starts reciting it to me, barely able to keep the laughter out of her voice >When she gets done she makes a gagging noise and says "Is that not the creepiest s--- you've ever heard?" >I force myself to smile and say "Yeah, what a loser" >All day, she keeps going up to friends and showing them the poem, laughing >Many of the girls she shows it to are disgusted and one even suggests she should file a report with the police

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anon, what the fuck? | /r/Greentext

72,000 CALORIES A DAY DIET Bottlcall OLIVE OIL 159 KB JPG 10/18/22(Tue)16:21:36 No.68682981 For the past 3-4 days I've been drinking three 2 litre tins of olive oil a day and each tin is 24,000 calories. It was going ok apart from some minor bathroom problems but now i'm suddenly feeling super sluggish, getting headaches and feeling somewhat unwell now. Should I try and push forward with my bulkmaxxxing or give up? Anonymous 10/18/22(Tue)16:22:23 No.68682991 I'm looking for genuine opinions, especially if you have any medical knowledge because I was feeling good at the start of this and now I feel like absolute s--- for some reason. >>68683000 # >>68683016 # : Anonymous >>68682991 # >for some reason 10/18/22(Tue)16:23:37 No.68683000

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Anon is a long term planner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Times you games the system thr(...) 83 KB JPG 10/29/22(Sat)23:55:34 No.888175672 >be me >block and report every ad I see on Reddit >mfw someday I'll have blocked every ad and won't see them anymore

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Anon isn't a pop-culture NPC, tries classical music, awakens his true power. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous why not become a sissygirl? 10/30/22(Sun)01:19:52 No.70777156 Thoughts? 1666888889338711.jpg 54 KB JPG >listen to classical music >read victorian era novels for girls (jane austen, julia quinn, emily bronte, etc) >start getting into aristocratic or classic l----- fashion >take hormones and let your hair grow >wear a parasol outside to stay pale and beautiful

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anon has a stroke | /r/Greentext

No.176193855 29 minutes ago 1568255041053.jpg JPG 51.9 KiB 800x761 >see this watch? this watch costs more than your car. How do you respond without coming off at mad or jelly af? 32 replies No.176193915 27 minutes ago >>176193855 (OP) >I have no doubt your obscene ammpunt of money gives you priviledges that I could never reach. For example, I could never shoot a woman in front of muktuple people and get away with it 3 replies

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Greentext Stories - Anon discovers a life hack. | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous OOT OOK - OOT BERE 100 100 >Last night >Go to strip club >Pay for entry fee and drinks at the bar with real money >Spend all night drunk and paying strippers for private lap dances >It's dark and their drunk/high so they don't check to see "For Motion Picture Use Only" >Spend over $4,000 in useless money in one night >All the strippers love me >Get to touch their boobs and asses >Feel like Chad for one night >Only costed $9.99 + tax 487 KB JPG 01/22/22(Sat) 18:47:20 No.67108862 >Buy fake prop money off Amazon >Looks real as f--- I'm sure they figured it out by now so I can never go back there but man that felt good.

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