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: Anonymous A curse upon my anoose 160 KB JPG 11/17/22(Thu)14:21:54 No.71020058 >have a pair of jeans like picrel >wore them twice after i bought them >first time i was driving to work >fart >feel ass all greasy and moist >turns out i s--- myself >go home and switch pants, no witnesses >second time im at a bar,mildly drunk >go to bathroom stall to piss >fart, s--- myself >quickly leave bar and ditch friends,think no one noticed >yesterday i was moving stuff to new apartment >i just spilled coffee on my pants >open drawer, the only pair of jeans left is the ones i s--- myself in TWICE I have a job interview in 30 mins and this is the only pair of pants i have to wear. Already feeling my guts churn and stomach hurting Im going to s--- myself today, arent I?

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Thank goodness anon is a sketch artist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: W3ESIV) A 10/03/22 (Mon)09:47:06 No.398034848 >>398052629 File: 6efafec4-b011-4e31-ac2a-2().jpg (101 KB, 828x1250) THEE BO$$ @1anayy. 1d Anonymous (ID: KVORH66U) 10/03/22(Mon)12:26:05 No.398052629 >>398058193 >>398034848 >shot 5 times by 12 police officers lolwat A black man was shot by police in Ireland. Shot 5 times by 12 police officers. 1,024 25.4K ♡60.9K Anonymous (ID: 27CAszCr) 10/03/22(Mon)13:24:57 No.398058193 File: tfsjdgyj.png (32 KB, 444x451) Ho >>398052629

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Anon summarizes the russian experience | /r/Greentext

1/1 rMFZZMIC GE 3h (11/17 8:15) 404819634 2 Replies : >surely we can take ukraine with no plan >i mean comeon, its f------ ukraine >we'll just roll in, bomb their forward positions and they'll s--- their pants >its f------ UKRAINE what are you worried about?

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makes a friend.. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/05/19(Sat)11:22:53 648 KB PNG No.50255501 >Make female friend in class >Little older than me, but still smaller than me and hot as hell >Starts inviting me out for coffee after class, just me and her >Text each other constantly >Goes on for about a month >Totally convinced she likes me, thinking about making a move >One day start talking about cats, say I'd never want one >"But anon, what if your future husband wants one?" >Silence, we just stare at each other >"...you're gay, right anon?" What the f--- I f------ hate women

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Anon is an intellectual | /r/Greentext

Anonymous They know 551 KB PNG 07/27/18(Fri)19:19:29 No.19523436 >be me >fap >go out in public THEY KNOW

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Anon wants to grow a plant | /r/Greentext

2h (11/16 20:45) 71016278.15 Re - 2 Img JPG 319KB (1918 × 1078) 1667649824943.jpg 3 Replies >want to do something for once in my life >actually want to grow plants >don't care what, just want to do it >bring it up to my parents so they know I'm buying pots >mention just planting a seed from a cherry tomato in half a soda bottle Yaww >mum lets it slip that my dad thinks I'm a d------ for growing from seeds when I could just buy an already growing plant for $10 from the hardware >lose all interest >going to have to go through with it anyway because my dad's already talking about taking me to the hardware store >mum's also implying I'm a retard for wanting to do it These f------ retards wonder why I'm an alcoholic. I wanted something to f------ care about. 2h (11/16 20:47). 71016296 2 Replies >he needs permission to do something from his over-controlling parents >he simply gives up when they offer him an easier solution, making him feel worthless One of the hardest things to learn in this world is that you don't need to listen to anybody just because they've taken care of you all their life

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Anon wants to talk about politics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21 (Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 126 KB PNG >be me >I wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inhe ently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?

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Anon goes on reddit | /r/Greentext

us Strategic Command !!0yDZQ6GDs9Q (ID: ybSNf/Oc) Anti-Work sentiment 10/17/21(Sun)09:24:58 No.343759254 85 KB JPG >go onto reddit >there's a sub that's growing fast called "r/antiwork" >it's literally fast food employees saying they deserve $50/hr for pressing buttons all day >one person wanted $200 per hour because "that's how it was in the 50's" >everyone else just doesn't want to work at all and thinks working at all is against their human rights >complain that there are "poor" people in America (even though being poor in the US still means you have cable, smartphone, food, and usually internet) The f--- is this? Is this sub the epitome of wagie cope? Nobody on the sub has a meaningful job, it's all fast food employees who are retarded. Seriously, the most "respectable" occupation from someone on that sub was a BARTENDER.

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Death by snu snu | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 63 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/17/22(Thu)13:47:53 No.134106342 Why does /co/ love strong women so much? 11/17/22(Thu)13:48:43 No.134106350 >wants to be dommed Low test >wants to dom them High test >>134106360 # >>134106379 # >>134106380 # >>134106393 # >>134106465 # >>134106705 # >>134106971 # >>134108194 # >>134108726 #

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Anon falls asleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous + 43 KB JPG 05/25/22(Wed)13:53:59 No.165281003 >fall asleep on keyboard >wake up >I'm banned for doxxing Poles

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Depressed Anon has no money for therapy | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/17/22(Thu) 13:22:10 No.71015308 >normies be like: GET HELP!, GO TO THERAPY! who gonna pay that >>71015632 >>71016080 >>71016106 >>71016540 >>71016877 >>71017001

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Anon has sex for the first time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous me 8 KB JPG 11/17/22(Thu)19:48:50 No.889225228 I finally got laid and this happened... >Be me, 19 >Have first girlfriend >Trying to get laid since all my buds had sex already >Get some tips from chad friend >You have to rub the clit between your fingers b4 you put your d--- in >Yes sir .jpeg >At a party, gf there too >Start making out >Asking her to go upstairs >Sure anon i'd love to >Sit on bed, kissing >Start touching her >She has nice medium size t--- and a perky bum, get rockhard >Undress her feel her vagina >Feels like she shaved today, nice >Doing as chad said, start rubbing her clit. >She starts moaning >Suddenly my fingers get all dribbly >I touch around her p----, its all slimy, smells funny >I didnt like it a bit >Whatever, now or never >Put my d--- in her p---- >She instantly moans again >Try and f--- her good like my friends told me to. >She is so loud w-- >Suddenly she starts pissing >W-- dude >Pisses all over my d--- and the bed >I panic, pull out and get dressed >She still laid there moaning like a ghost >W-- gif >Leave party wildly embaressed >Havent talked to her since Why is sex so hype and why did she piss herselve, she wasnt that drunk after all. I asked my buddies but they just laugh at me..

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Femanon got tricked by fellow 4chaners | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous You f------ lied to me GYERMANY cuis het .m besed www.ga 150 KB PNG 11/16/22(Wed)15:04:59 No.71004276 >be me, homeschooled isolated 7/10 girl >get all my ideas about what men are like from the internet >go to college >start wanting to date >get first crush on a scrawny dnd loving cop sci major with like two friends >from what 4chan has told me, all non chad men are desperate and i have all the power in this situation >confess feelings to him after knowing him for a little over a year He straight up laughed at me. Told me im too good of a friend for him to think of me like that with ths awful belittling look of pity in his eyes. It made it sting worse that he could tell i wanted to cry so he gave me a hug after. He was my best friend and now i feel too awkward to even talk to him. i blame you guys desperation for overinflating my confidence.

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Greentext Stories - Anon shits himself | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous A curse upon my anoose 160 KB JPG 11/17/22(Thu)14:21:54 No.71020058 >have a pair of jeans like picrel >wore them twice after i bought them >first time i was driving to work >fart >feel ass all greasy and moist >turns out i s--- myself >go home and switch pants, no witnesses >second time im at a bar,mildly drunk >go to bathroom stall to piss >fart, s--- myself >quickly leave bar and ditch friends,think no one noticed >yesterday i was moving stuff to new apartment >i just spilled coffee on my pants >open drawer, the only pair of jeans left is the ones i s--- myself in TWICE I have a job interview in 30 mins and this is the only pair of pants i have to wear. Already feeling my guts churn and stomach hurting Im going to s--- myself today, arent I?

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