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Anonymous 3 hours ago 244402942 >>244402746 There's a girl in my morning sophomore English class who would randomly start barking like a dog in the middle of my lectures. I took her aside and asked her if it was some kind of identity thing and if there was I way I could accommodate her that wouldn't be disruptive for the rest of the class, but she told me she was just doing it because she was bored. A baffling experience.

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Anonymous 152 KB PNG 04/26/25(Sat)18:05:01 No.80995962 >Be me, unemployed >Looking for a new job >Find an opening at the local zoo >Get to interview >They tell me my job is to dress up as a chimp and pretend to be a chimp in the chimp enclosure, as they don't have any chimps at the moment. >"No thanks, I don't want to do suck humiliating work" >They offer me $400 a day >"Ok I'll take the job" >But there is a catch, the moment I break character, I get fired. >Seems simple enough >Swing around on the bars >Eat banana >Throw s--- at the glass >FFW to swinging >Swing way too f------ hard >So hard that the bar snaps and I fly over the wall into the Lion enclosure >OhShit.jpeg >Literally s------- my chimp suit >Start screaming for help >Running around >Life flashed before my eyes as the lion backs me into the corner >He says "Shut the f--- up or we'll both get fired"

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

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suggest a title | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Russia nuking itself Y'all already know what the f--- going down 79 KB JPG 11/24/22(Thu)14:03:47 No.56155562 What percentage chance do you reckon Russia has of (somehow) nuking itself in the next 5 years? For me it's 3% 11/24/22(Thu)14:06:05 No.56155582 Anonymous >>56155562 (OP) # The picture is much more interesting than your Russia stuff. Got more?

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On seal clubbing | /r/Greentext

Anonymous [+] >>174130934 (OP) # nothing inhumane about this. the seal dies instantly and painlessly, then all of the seal gets used >>174132065 # >>174132324 # >>174132953 # Anonymous THE SEALS SMASH SM 11/23/22(Wed)17:34:38 No.174131993 Anonymou >>1741317 >>174131993 # >>174133492 # Anonymou 11/23/22(Wed)17:43:49 No.174132324 >*smashes your head with a bat* >*turns your corpse into a personal fleshlight* nothing inhumane about this. the c*nadian dies instantly and painlessly, and every part of it gets used.

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anon has an exotic name | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous One shot at life 29 KB PNG 11/23/22(Wed) 23:38:09 No.889587225 >parents name me Papito

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anon lives in Texas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/12/22(Sun)03:02:10 No.879982490 Post stories about your neighbors. I'll start. >be me >relocated to semi-rural Texas for new job contract >perfectly nice I guess except one thing: the birds are loud as F--- and wake me up at 4:30 every goddamn morning >decide to just accept it and change my routine >start having coffee on porch at 4:30 since I'm up anyway >FFWD a couple weeks and a family moves into the house across the street from us 49 KB JPG >one morning I'm having my bird.mp3 coffee >see neighbor throw open front door >holding a f------ shotgun >angrily marches over to the tree out front in his pajamas >aims shotgun up into branches gungobang.wav >birds.mp3 stops completely >twigs and shredded leaves gently rain down >blissful silence >he walks back inside and closes the door >anons I think I like Texas

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Anon talks about life in the 21st century. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 179 KB JPG 11/24/22(Thu)13:18:31 Our system was built on the premise that there would be a woman at home to cook, clean, and raise the kids while the man worked. No.71109207 Now a single person has to: - Work a full-time job - Cook - Clean - Maintain relationships - Go to school if they want a job they can actually afford a house with And that's not even including self-care, both physical and mental, and raising children (if you have them). It's impossible for one person to have time to do all of this, not to mention extremely exhausting and unhealthy.

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Anon has some strange opinions on kids television | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/22/22(Tue)23:37:00 No.71093739 name 3 bands you're currently listening to or you are a brony mt.png 48 KB PNG When we had cartoons like Bugs Bunny, Tom and Jerry and such we had normal kids and later teens. Since this RETARDED p------------ show started airing we have nothing but retards and f------. 84 Replies / 52 Images View Thread

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The state of this sub | /r/Greentext

u/Signed Death • 1d. i.redd.it 1 Award Anon is trapped : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 51 KB JPG u/liljamofficial 1 Award Anon is right : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 ● 51 KB JPG 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally marching up to congress on his ... 2d • i.redd.it 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rallv. marching up to congress on his u/akarsh99 • 2d • imgur Anon is having a great day : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally, marching up to congress on his orders to smash s--- and then mill around aimlessly 51 KB JPG u/Fossam • 1d. i.redd.it 1 Award Anon gets bamboozled : Anonymous (ID: (Sfkg22R6) 51 KB JPG u/soursourkarma • 2d • imgur anon goes to dc : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 51 KB JPG orders 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally marching up to congress on his r/greentext u/bandersna7ch • 2d i.redd.it 51 KB JPG 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally, marching up to congress on his maah ahit and than mill arasınd aimlanak Anon gets political : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 ... ● 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at II.

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Anon tries stalking london women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous South London NUFC 77 KB JPG 11/23/22(Wed) 23:28:13 No.889584136 >be me >32 yo british NEET >pic related >haven't been outside for weeks >some guy on /b/ says that he stalks random women at night to scare them and feel like a chad >lightbulb.jpg >decide to try it >still live with parents, don't want to wake them up while going out in the middle of the night >dress up in all black, but my belly sticks out from the bottom >f--- it, still go >sneak out >walk around town for a bit, nobody around >finally see some 7/10 walking alone, staring at her phone >evilgrin.png >walk 10 feet behind her >she speeds up >I start running >mfw she outruns me no problem >mfw I'm too fat to run >walk back home defeated >on the way back get stabbed by some t--- I f------ hate south london, writing this while I bleed out

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Anon can do it with his cousin | /r/Greentext

nymous KB PNG 07/18/21(Sun)22:52:23 No.859234 >be me >be at aunt's birthday party >family talking about when I'm finally gonna bring gf >solid 7.5 cousin "well anon if we weren't family..."

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Anon need the nuggies before its too late | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 375 KB JPG 07/19/22(Tue)10:01:03 No.694622 >alert on phone saying a power outage is coming soon >the chicken nuggets still have 15 minutes in the oven

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Anon wants to try execution | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/22(Thu)08:41:04 No.71103247 Which honourable execution methods can be replicated at home? I don't want to hang like a lowly criminal.

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anon lives in a society | /r/Greentext

Affairs put a spring in your step, boost self-esteem and life satisfaction - but only if you're a woman, study finds By Xantha Leatham Deputy Science Editor For The Daily Mail 16:37 11 Nov 2022, updated 16:37 11 Nov 2022 F9EADB9E-94A1-4302-9EBB-865E0D2CF8C0.jpg 184 KB JPG I think I can finally say, without hyperbole, that it is in fact, over : Anonymous >>71009976 (OP) # based. I think it is true that no matter how good you try to be, eventually your man will get tired of you and take you for granted. experiencing true lust and being seen as hot and mysterious, which only someone you don't live with can offer, will obviously give you a boost in happiness and self-esteem. >>71011433 # 11/17/22(Thu)00:30:12 No.71010001 >>71010080 # >>71010553 # : Anonymous >>71009976 (OP) # >study finds >we asked 30 people a question and confirmed something we really wish is true "articles" like these should be illegal, i hope some day misinformation is actually taken seriously and not just an euphemism for "information that makes us look bad" 11/17/22(Thu)00:35:06 No.71010057 11/17/22(Thu)00:36:53 No.71010080 11/17/22(Thu)00:39:10 No.71010107 11/17/22(Thu)01:14:19 No.71010512 : Anonymous : Anonymous : Anonymous >>71009976 (OP) # For women? Absolutely. Just wait until actual sex robots and eventually general Al hit the market. >inb4 they'll just ban it Good f------ luck with that. Once Pandora's box has been opened it won't ever close, just ask NAI how shutting down the distribution of their entire model and dataset after being leaked worked out for them.

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Greentext Stories - Anon is a teacher | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 3 hours ago 244402942 >>244402746 There's a girl in my morning sophomore English class who would randomly start barking like a dog in the middle of my lectures. I took her aside and asked her if it was some kind of identity thing and if there was I way I could accommodate her that wouldn't be disruptive for the rest of the class, but she told me she was just doing it because she was bored. A baffling experience.

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