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Anonymous (ID: iVUdadPA) 04/08/12(Sun)21:28:07 No.392030503 Ok /b/ i'm going to tell you my own personnel tard story, the story of neal. >Be in 5th grade >Be in AI class (it's like advanced s--- for smart kids) >The teachers decide it is a good idea for us to spend a day with the tard kids because we were ahead of schedule for the marking period >I had never seen a tard previous to this encounter, so I didn't know what to expect >Walk >walk into into the tardHQ >It seems to be a regular class room filled with ugly ass kids >Everybody is assigned their own personnel tard to talk to >I get assigned neal >I walk up to the tard and say Hello i'm phil >"haypil" >One fluent word, "haypil" he says this whenever he is within thirty feet of me, and it becomes my only warning of the inevitable oncoming s--- storm >Sit down and see he is cutting paper >Ask him what he's making Marbe >"mrhhms" s >"what?" >The tard starts to make this screeching sound, the only thing I can compare it to is the sound of a f------ raptor >A fat downy tard runs up to us "STUOP ITTTT" >Neal gets up and continues his raptard roar directly in her face >Downy tard goes batshit, engages tard strength and flips the entire table over Avtal not only continues his tard roar but moves closer to downy child >Down kid just starts screaming and tries to run for the door, forgets to open it and smashes into it head first >KO >Neal silences his roar, sits down and continues cutting paper as if nothing happened >allmywut.jpg >Tardwranglers run in and retrieve Neal, and the downy child, they are both sent home And that my friends is the first of my many stories of neal. just tell me if you want more. Anonymous (ID: ¡VUdadPA) 04/08/12 (Sun)21:47:37 No.392034629 >>392030939 After our first faithful encounter I hadn't seen Neal for a while, so this story takes place about 3 months after my previous story >Be walking down the hall with friends to lunch >Talking bout usual 5th grade s---, pokemon and what not >Hear a faint yet memorable voice >"haypil" >Don't answer, pretend I heard nothing due to the events of last time >Hear the sound yet again, except this time it is directly in my ear >"HAYPIL" He had just appeared on my side, he had to be atleast thirty or so feet in the other direction previously {thin (this speed will come into play in later encounters) >Wave awkwardly to him "Hey Neal" >He extends a bag of cheetos he had in his hand in my direction "Wunt sum?" >"No thanks Neal" >My friend not knowing the kind of devastation Neal is capable of reaches over and grabs one of the cheetos out of the bag without asking >Neal looks up with pure malice >Oh f--- not again Cont. Anonymous (ID: iVUdadPA) 04/08/12 (Sun)21:48:08 No.392034761 Neal Cont. >Approaches my friend deliberately looking into his eyes. >Engage raptard roar >This one was in short bursts, it appears as if he has different roars for different situation >Friend says "what's wrong with him?" >Say nothing, as I do not want to feel Neals wrath >Friend backs away as Neal approaches chewing the cheeto >Neal lets out one last violent tard roar and hurls himself at my friend, knocking him over >He jams his hand into my friends mouth and retrieves the liquidy remnants of the cheeto while continuing his tard roar directly in his face >Stands up up and eats liquidy half eaten cheeto after silencing his roar >Tardwrangler comes speeding down hallway and grabs Neal by the wrist to pull him back to tardHQ >Waves at me "Buypil" not a single ounce of regret or any emotion for that matter in his eyes >I wave at him in utter aw "Bye Neal" You guys want more? Anonymous (ID: iVUdadPA) 04/08/12 (Sun)22:11:45 No.392040658 Neal Part 3: Battle of the Tards You see Neal mainly kept to him self, he did not like his tard kind. But he extremely dislike one tard name james, this is the first of their battles that I saw. >Be in 6th grade now >New AI teacher is a very avid tard supporter >We are now going to help the tards out once a week for the entire year >I enter the tardHQ and see Neal in the corner >Hasn't grown an inch sense last year (turns out he will remain 5'0 for his entire life) >He looks as if he is in total concentration reading a book >I walk up to Neal "Hey bud whatcha reading" >Gives me one of those toothy tard grins "haypil" >Sit next to him and look at the book >Dr. Seuss a cat in the hat >A skinny, tall tard walks over toward us >I could could tell he was a d--- from the first second I saw him >I >"wut ar yu reding nile" >snatches book out of neals hand >"Tis buk is fur babbys" >Neal gets up "giv ut bac yames" >James holds it up above his head "tak it" >Neals rage is apparent, it is that of a thousand suns >Neal sounds his raptard screech >This is slightly different from his roar, it's soul effect is to piss off other tards >"Stup it nile tak yur dum buk" >too late for that bud >100 for that bud >Neal continues to approach with his fist above his head as far as he can reach >Screech continues, at this point TardHQ is compromised, tards are going crazy >Crayons and s--- is being thrown, one tard is crawled into a ball in a puddle of piss >AI class is told to evacuate, I stay to watch imminent luls >James is now clenching his ears for dear life >Neal is finally within striking reach of james >He throws his mighty fist down into james nuts with the accumulative force of 1000 banhammers >James drops and begins to throw up on the "magic" carpet Cont. Anonymous (ID: iVUdadPA) 04/08/12(Sun)22:12:31 No.392040843 Neal cont. again >Neal silences the screech, picks up the book james had stolen from him, and sits down to read it directly in james puddle of throwup >butwhy.jpg >He looks up at me with that toothy grin as I just stare >Tard wranglers bust in, one grabs me to bring me to safety, the others grab the debilitated james and Neal >Neal screams after me "buypill" >I just watch as he is hulled off to the principles office, not giving a single bit of resistance >That day was known as N day up until I left for the highschool moar? Anonymous (ID: ¡VUdadPA) 04/08/12 (Sun)22:32:49 No.392045038 Neal part 3 (someone archive this s--- please) >Be in 2nd marking period now >Neal had been suspended for pulverizing James nuts >He's back now >I have started to look forward to our days helping the tards just because of Neal >Unfortunately it's not that day >Be in art class >Teacher says we have a tard coming to our class from now on cus the school has started new integration program for tards >Neal walks through the f------ door >"Hello Neal" we said in unison as I waved class this is Neal" Hello >"Haypil" >"Class >Teacher lets him sit next to me cus he knows me >James walks into class after him >Ohshitnigger.jpg >James >We are starting water color painting right now >Neal decides he wants to paint an apple, cus that's what I was painting >James starts s--- with us because he's a d--- >"Yur apals luk lik shet" >Neal ignores him because... well because he's f----- neal he doesn't give a f--- >James obviously angered by being ignored by me and Neal pours all of his paint onto my painting >Don't give a f---, but Neal sure as hell did is introduced to class and is put at the same table as us just by luck >Commence raptard roar short burst mode (this is when I found out that short bursts means he's about to wreck s---) >Neal throws all his paint right into james eyes as the class looks on in horror >"MUY AIS" Cont. Anonymous (ID: ¡VUdadPA) 04/08/12 (Sun)22:33:28 No.392045147 f--- this flood detection Stories of Neal cont. >James can't see s--- and Neal has not taken out skittles that I assume he had hid in the foreskin of his penis (I found out he's uncircumcised in a later incident) and begins pelting james with them >He's hurling these at mach 5 speeds into him be >James falls off of the stool he is sitting on and brings the girl sitting next to him along too >Neal walks around the table, picks up the paint and slowly empties it onto both James and the girl (it is apparent that Neal does not give two s---- about civilian casualties) >The roar has stopped Vide >Kids are all huddled into the corner aside from me, the two tards, and the poor girl caught in the mix >Teachers signals for tardwranglers waiting outside, james and Neal are picked up and taken from the classroom >Neal is in complete and utter peace while being carried away, he simply waves at me >"buypil" And that was the end of the schools integration program after the girl who got wreckeds parents attempted to sue the school

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Anon tells the story of Neal the Tard. | /r/Greentext


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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack
Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #
34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps
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Anonymous (ID: iVUdadPA) 04/08/12(Sun)21:28:07 No.392030503 Ok /b/ i'm going to tell you my own personnel tard story, the story of neal. >Be in 5th grade >Be in AI class (it's like advanced s--- for smart kids) >The teachers decide it is a good idea for us to spend a day with the tard kids because we were ahead of schedule for the marking period >I had never seen a tard previous to this encounter, so I didn't know what to expect >Walk >walk into into the tardHQ >It seems to be a regular class room filled with ugly ass kids >Everybody is assigned their own personnel tard to talk to >I get assigned neal >I walk up to the tard and say Hello i'm phil >"haypil" >One fluent word, "haypil" he says this whenever he is within thirty feet of me, and it becomes my only warning of the inevitable oncoming s--- storm >Sit down and see he is cutting paper >Ask him what he's making Marbe >"mrhhms" s >"what?" >The tard starts to make this screeching sound, the only thing I can compare it to is the sound of a f------ raptor >A fat downy tard runs up to us "STUOP ITTTT" >Neal gets up and continues his raptard roar directly in her face >Downy tard goes batshit, engages tard strength and flips the entire table over Avtal not only continues his tard roar but moves closer to downy child >Down kid just starts screaming and tries to run for the door, forgets to open it and smashes into it head first >KO >Neal silences his roar, sits down and continues cutting paper as if nothing happened >allmywut.jpg >Tardwranglers run in and retrieve Neal, and the downy child, they are both sent home And that my friends is the first of my many stories of neal. just tell me if you want more. Anonymous (ID: ¡VUdadPA) 04/08/12 (Sun)21:47:37 No.392034629 >>392030939 After our first faithful encounter I hadn't seen Neal for a while, so this story takes place about 3 months after my previous story >Be walking down the hall with friends to lunch >Talking bout usual 5th grade s---, pokemon and what not >Hear a faint yet memorable voice >"haypil" >Don't answer, pretend I heard nothing due to the events of last time >Hear the sound yet again, except this time it is directly in my ear >"HAYPIL" He had just appeared on my side, he had to be atleast thirty or so feet in the other direction previously {thin (this speed will come into play in later encounters) >Wave awkwardly to him "Hey Neal" >He extends a bag of cheetos he had in his hand in my direction "Wunt sum?" >"No thanks Neal" >My friend not knowing the kind of devastation Neal is capable of reaches over and grabs one of the cheetos out of the bag without asking >Neal looks up with pure malice >Oh f--- not again Cont. Anonymous (ID: iVUdadPA) 04/08/12 (Sun)21:48:08 No.392034761 Neal Cont. >Approaches my friend deliberately looking into his eyes. >Engage raptard roar >This one was in short bursts, it appears as if he has different roars for different situation >Friend says "what's wrong with him?" >Say nothing, as I do not want to feel Neals wrath >Friend backs away as Neal approaches chewing the cheeto >Neal lets out one last violent tard roar and hurls himself at my friend, knocking him over >He jams his hand into my friends mouth and retrieves the liquidy remnants of the cheeto while continuing his tard roar directly in his face >Stands up up and eats liquidy half eaten cheeto after silencing his roar >Tardwrangler comes speeding down hallway and grabs Neal by the wrist to pull him back to tardHQ >Waves at me "Buypil" not a single ounce of regret or any emotion for that matter in his eyes >I wave at him in utter aw "Bye Neal" You guys want more? Anonymous (ID: iVUdadPA) 04/08/12 (Sun)22:11:45 No.392040658 Neal Part 3: Battle of the Tards You see Neal mainly kept to him self, he did not like his tard kind. But he extremely dislike one tard name james, this is the first of their battles that I saw. >Be in 6th grade now >New AI teacher is a very avid tard supporter >We are now going to help the tards out once a week for the entire year >I enter the tardHQ and see Neal in the corner >Hasn't grown an inch sense last year (turns out he will remain 5'0 for his entire life) >He looks as if he is in total concentration reading a book >I walk up to Neal "Hey bud whatcha reading" >Gives me one of those toothy tard grins "haypil" >Sit next to him and look at the book >Dr. Seuss a cat in the hat >A skinny, tall tard walks over toward us >I could could tell he was a d--- from the first second I saw him >I >"wut ar yu reding nile" >snatches book out of neals hand >"Tis buk is fur babbys" >Neal gets up "giv ut bac yames" >James holds it up above his head "tak it" >Neals rage is apparent, it is that of a thousand suns >Neal sounds his raptard screech >This is slightly different from his roar, it's soul effect is to piss off other tards >"Stup it nile tak yur dum buk" >too late for that bud >100 for that bud >Neal continues to approach with his fist above his head as far as he can reach >Screech continues, at this point TardHQ is compromised, tards are going crazy >Crayons and s--- is being thrown, one tard is crawled into a ball in a puddle of piss >AI class is told to evacuate, I stay to watch imminent luls >James is now clenching his ears for dear life >Neal is finally within striking reach of james >He throws his mighty fist down into james nuts with the accumulative force of 1000 banhammers >James drops and begins to throw up on the "magic" carpet Cont. Anonymous (ID: iVUdadPA) 04/08/12(Sun)22:12:31 No.392040843 Neal cont. again >Neal silences the screech, picks up the book james had stolen from him, and sits down to read it directly in james puddle of throwup >butwhy.jpg >He looks up at me with that toothy grin as I just stare >Tard wranglers bust in, one grabs me to bring me to safety, the others grab the debilitated james and Neal >Neal screams after me "buypill" >I just watch as he is hulled off to the principles office, not giving a single bit of resistance >That day was known as N day up until I left for the highschool moar? Anonymous (ID: ¡VUdadPA) 04/08/12 (Sun)22:32:49 No.392045038 Neal part 3 (someone archive this s--- please) >Be in 2nd marking period now >Neal had been suspended for pulverizing James nuts >He's back now >I have started to look forward to our days helping the tards just because of Neal >Unfortunately it's not that day >Be in art class >Teacher says we have a tard coming to our class from now on cus the school has started new integration program for tards >Neal walks through the f------ door >"Hello Neal" we said in unison as I waved class this is Neal" Hello >"Haypil" >"Class >Teacher lets him sit next to me cus he knows me >James walks into class after him >Ohshitnigger.jpg >James >We are starting water color painting right now >Neal decides he wants to paint an apple, cus that's what I was painting >James starts s--- with us because he's a d--- >"Yur apals luk lik shet" >Neal ignores him because... well because he's f----- neal he doesn't give a f--- >James obviously angered by being ignored by me and Neal pours all of his paint onto my painting >Don't give a f---, but Neal sure as hell did is introduced to class and is put at the same table as us just by luck >Commence raptard roar short burst mode (this is when I found out that short bursts means he's about to wreck s---) >Neal throws all his paint right into james eyes as the class looks on in horror >"MUY AIS" Cont. Anonymous (ID: ¡VUdadPA) 04/08/12 (Sun)22:33:28 No.392045147 f--- this flood detection Stories of Neal cont. >James can't see s--- and Neal has not taken out skittles that I assume he had hid in the foreskin of his penis (I found out he's uncircumcised in a later incident) and begins pelting james with them >He's hurling these at mach 5 speeds into him be >James falls off of the stool he is sitting on and brings the girl sitting next to him along too >Neal walks around the table, picks up the paint and slowly empties it onto both James and the girl (it is apparent that Neal does not give two s---- about civilian casualties) >The roar has stopped Vide >Kids are all huddled into the corner aside from me, the two tards, and the poor girl caught in the mix >Teachers signals for tardwranglers waiting outside, james and Neal are picked up and taken from the classroom >Neal is in complete and utter peace while being carried away, he simply waves at me >"buypil" And that was the end of the schools integration program after the girl who got wreckeds parents attempted to sue the school

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Uploaded Dec 11, 2022 at 08:29PM EST

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