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Political Compass - 7x5 wojak compass of people I interviewed for the decennial Census in 2020 | /r/PoliticalCompassMeme...

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

FURIOUS KAREN SNITCH Followed me around demanding When I tried to ask him questions, he I leave immediately or she would call the cops immediately started trying to tell me about crimes his neighbors had committed Confronted me while I was working an apartment building Said I was "intimidating" the residents and every time I knocked on a door, she stood right behind me and told the resident I was dangerous The building manager eventually came and told her to go home. I apologized to the building manager then turned to the Karen and said "bye bye." She freaked out. Showed her my badge and she said it wasn't enough She wouldn't answer any questions until I showed a nonexistent permit I said "suit yourself" and left SKEPTICAL ITALIAN I was one of only two Italian interpreters for the whole city There was an old lady who I was ordered to interview She was very skeptical of me and thought I was a government spy I was flattered I'll admit ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS Answered the door, saw my government badge, and immediately slammed it closed I insisted I wasn't with ICE had wouldn't report them, I just needed to ask some questions. They wouldn't listen. One day a sudden thunderstorm popped up and I was far from home This happened a few times Let me borrow his umbrella for the rest of my shift, I returned it with great thanks poorest part of the city PERMIT ASKER SCARED OF SCAM ILLITERATE KURD SMUG COLLEAGUE LIGHT OF JESUS Kept asking for my permit Extremely paranoid Old lady with no teeth who couldn't speak English and lived alone Of the 37 languages on my Census-issued interpretation sheet, she understood none Ran into him on the street An obviously-high respondent saw me, immediately put his hands up, and said "I got nuffin, officuh, we coo', we coo'." "I'm not a cop" Closed the door slowly, "we coo' officuh" Wouldn't answer about his information, insisted I report his neighbors to the police allo Told him who I was and he said "I don't care, cracka" "Go back to yo White House and tell yo President Trump to kiss my black ass" I eventually left and flagged his house as hostile Kept insisting I was trying to scam him and the whole neighborhood Made us a large portion of my respondents Asked what my ulterior motive was FORMER CENSUS WORKER 40-something guy who said he worked the 2000 Census when he was my age "Sir, my pay is the ulterior motive" Seemed wistful about it and told me to "have fun, kid." INTERNATIONAL STUDENT/WORKER Mostly from China Definitely depressed رادر را Because their culture valued authority, they responded immediately and respectfully Could consistently be relied-upon I was flattered but they weren't my type "BLACK ASS" |METH HEAD Saw me and immediately slammed his door Was shocked to see Told me I needed me, I was the only white person in a one-mile radius to leave, there was gang activity in this neighborhood SCARED OF COVID AGGRESSIVE DOG SENILE RACIST Shouted through the door "get off my porch!" This was the summer of 2020 so COVID was still very much a threat But the vast majority of people didn't wear masks in their own homes "Just make sure to get out before dark, good luck" This guy was wearing two masks and a face shield Asked that I stand six feet back from the door and face to the side while asking questions I left and flagged the apartment as dangerous One day I was an assigned an apartment building with 220 units Soon realized she was half-blind and illiterate "WE COO", OFFICUH"||WATCHMAN HIGH CHILD I was a white guy with a government badge in a housing project in the Couldn't Red eyes, slurred speech, couldn't keep balance have been older than 13 She eventually called her daughter, who cleared things up Hardest case I've ever worked MANAGER Would've taken me 7-9 hours to knock on every door Building manager gave me a list of every occupant with name and age Probably a breach of privacy but really helped out, I did the work in two hours AMERICAN INDIAN I was giddy with happiness because I had never met an American Indian before I asked him profusely about his culture but he just wanted to get the interview over with Scowled when I told him he was the first Indian I interviewed, said "hmm, I wonder why?" in a sarcastic tone Got paid to eat snacks with an old lady, it was sweet I asked if his parents were home and he didn't seem to know the answer OVERDOSE Looked anaemic, covered in Went to his door, he lesions, teeth were rotted out appeared dazed and told Felt like he was me to come back later going to attack me at any moment, he was clearly paranoid There was a dirty toddler in the background, I felt bad but we weren't allowed to call social services A moment later, a Rottweiler hurled itself at the window, barking maniacally at me "I'll let him out! Get off my porch!" HELPFUL BUILDING EXTREMELY WEALTHY CHRISTIAN GROUP HOME Huge mansion, took A maid answered me two minutes to walk from the sidewalk to the door I came back two days later and he wasn't home, his neighbor told me he'd overdosed RIP stranger man I was shocked to be assigned the address of my friend House was flagged as dangerous and cops were called It's a federal crime to intimidate a Census taker 17 SANCTUARY HOUSE GAY COUPLE KIND OLD LADY VODKA COUPLE WAGE QUESTIONS Insisted I come inside, made Juniors in college, living at an off-campus apartment A respondent invited me inside and even made me lunch Kept asking me questions about how much the Answered each other's questions and kept laughing and whispering to one another One of them called me tea and put out a tray of cookies government was paying me Told me about her children and grandchildren and her stories from the 60s me cute and asked when I got off Guy in his 50s; he complained about the "damned millennials and Gen Z" the Census is hiring CROSSFIRE Spoke to me as if I wasn't 22 years old FRIEND Through the threshold I saw a harp and a piano SCIENCES LILLE The lady seemed normal enough, but Jesus I felt proletariat Went inside, had lunch with him, and played videogames on the government's dime Were drinking vodka and smoking weed when I knocked on their door Felt like a kid again Invited me to have a shot, I obliged Later I hooked up with the guy, ironically PUP PLAY Answered me in a leather dog mask, wasn't wearing a shirt Gave me an obviously-fake name and invited me in to do poppers Very old man, at least 85, in a wheelchair with an at-home nurse I left real f------ fast BELIEVE IN AMERICA I backed away and asked more loudly, just then her mom came to the door and said "what the hell do you think you're doing, my daughter is 14!" Old black lady who enthusiastically answered questions Situation was quickly defused but it got the heart pounding for sure Didn't know his name or age and nurse had to answer for him College-aged girl who lived in a house with seven other girls He asked if I was going into the "ni**er neighborhoods" The nurse gave me an awkward look Had NRA and Gadsden flag stickers on her window Afterwards she grasped my hand and asked my name, then exclaimed "Praise Jesus, I see the light of the Lord in you!" Huge self-esteem booster When I asked her occupation she said "Bible study" It was a Christian group home, may have been a cult because they seemed like carbon copies of one another 2A LADY Said I'm "lucky I look like me" or else she would've "blown me off the porch" A lot of implications in that sentence Shook his head and said "man, that's too much. If I had my way it would be $8.75" PAPER AIRPLANE Was on the second floor and didn't want to come down 14-YEAR-OLD RUGBY TEAM Answered the Was chewing gum, kept coming door wearing a closer, claiming she couldn't low-cut shirt hear my questions and leaned toward me I made a paper airplane of the questionnaire and threw it up to him He filled it out and flew it back down to me I had to enumerate the house occupied by my local college's rugby team. When I walked up to the door they were throwing a party. Had to go through six drunk 19- year-olds to find the homeowner He was plastered and insisted he wouldn't answer questions unless I did a keg stand I did it and, he gave me a beer and a slice of pizza for the road

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