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: Probable Retard Am I retarded? 21 KB JPG 12/24/22(Sat)11:01:38 No.891304101 >be me >15 years old >dad often makes jokes about me being autistic and my mom shuts him up every time >in the mall with my dad ordering presents >for some reason there is a big meetup of retards at the mall >retards in wheelchairs, downies, and all >get hungry >my dad gives me $10 to order wetzel's pretzels >struggle to order pretzels and have multiple completely autistic social interactions >literally fist bumps cashier trying to hand me change >woman says to my dad >'oh its nice how patient you are with him' >dad is confused >woman clarifies with 'It's nice how you are patient with him and let him out and let him do his own things!' >goes like 'they can be hard to deal with sometimes lol' >dad awkwardly laughs and says yeah so he doesn't have to go through the shame of saying how I am not retarded maybe I am.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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File size: 170 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Porn facts | /r/Greentext

: Yellow Tard 12/24/22(Sat)16:44:28 No.891303660 A few facts specifically about p----------: >Addiction to p---------- functions similarly to the chemical dependency on cocaine 750 KB PNG >The earlier you start using p----------, the more likely you are to form a drug addiction >Some studies suggest it reduces gray matter in the brain P--- is for p--- boards. >P----use being OK is a lie perpetuated because it brings in more money than the NFL, NBA and MLB combined >Watching p---------- doubles the rate of divorce >The more you watch p----------, the more likely you are to watch "minor intercourse" >Erectile dysfunction is rising by the day >The parent company of pornhub has a history of human trafficking monetization >P--- use is rising in adolescents, resulting in higher rates of depression and decrease in academic performance Quit now and end these mental restrictions

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wasn't don quixote about something like this? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How to get a bad and cool bf 12/21/22(Wed)14:33:21 No.28842235 I'm a socially inept mtf, how do I get a bf who would want to make me his pet? 135 KB PNG Like, a guy who is an a------ and would want to force me to be his pet and maybe even blackmail me to be his slave? I thought of getting into dating apps or getting back to study (I'm 21) to see if someone will want to r--- me in the bathroom. How can I get better chances of finding someone like that? Yeah, I'm weird. I'm addicted to reading "romantic" novels and I want a bad boy like in the novels I read. They are so cool :( Misogynist bad boys are so cool :( I want love :'(

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Anon is classically trained | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 42 KB JPG Anonymous 12/24/22(Sat)07:46:34 No.178279869 >classically trained actor >OP >Classically trained virgin 12/24/22(Sat)07:47:36 No.178279899 >>178280477 # >>178281328 # >>178283754 # >>178283938 # >>178284209 # >>178285320 #

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Eternal Korea-nihon war | /r/Greentext

g---- vs nips.jpg (154 KB, 1016x852) Japan recalls diplomats from South Korea over 'comfort woman' statue 000 (CHOR Tedi Parma care a c Anonymous (ID: FxA7B5Mp) Essentially a korean holocaust >>105888903 But instead of gas, d----. G---- with the bants, nips can't handle it Anonymous (ID: w3Xjylsc) 01/06/17 (Fri) 13:37:39 No. 105888144 >>105889580 >>105889875 >>105890002 >>105890148 >>105890347 >>105890571 >>105890881 >>105891243 >>105891260 >>105891363 >>10589 >>105893754 >>105893897 >>105894060 >>105894170 >>105894614 Anonymous (ID: w3Xjylsc) 01/06/17 (Fri)13:44:17 No. 105888657 ► >>105892149 >>105888561 dey gud bois 01/06/17(Fri)13:47:37 No.105888903 ► >>105888934>>105890699 >>105891970 >>105894708 >>105895469 >>105895627 memorial. hahahahaha those g---- are alright >> Anonymous (ID: LAWCwtoU) 01/06/17 (Fri)13:43:03 No. 105888561 >>105888657 >>105888960 >>105890241 >>10589 Anonymous (ID: 109uuxuN) 01/06/17(Fri)13:48:10 No. 105888934 ► >>105889052 >>105889088 >>105889323 >>105889545 >>105889691 >>105889965 >>105890132 >>105890472 >>105892364>>105892527 >>105893041 >>105893679 >>105894126 >>105894253 >>105894256 >>105894315 >>105894533 >>105894708 >>105895019 >>105895615 >>105895627 >>105896174 >>105 >>105888934 So not much of a weapon then. >>105888144 (OP) Nips: WE DINDU NUFFIN But instead of gas, d----. Anonymous (ID: THdGmXP9) 01/06/17(Fri)13:53:25 No.105889323 ► >>105889417 >>105889545 >>105889691 >>105889745 >>105889816 >>105889848 >>105889909 >>1058899 >>105890930 >>105891256 >>105891474>>105891970 >>105892364>>105892527 >>105892657 >>105893679 >>105893836 >>105894126 >>105894253 >>105894256 >>105894277 >>105894533 >>105 >>105895627 >>105896174 So not much of a weapon then. Anonymous (ID: 109uuxuN) 01/06/17 (Fri)14:01:18 No. 105889909 ► >>105890044 >>105890132 >>105890136 >>105890205 >>105890214 >>105890231 >>105890246 >>105890459 > >105892056 >>105892364 >>105892527 >>105893679 >>105893980 >>105894253 >>105894256 >>105894623 >>105894708 >>105895186 >>105895469 >>105895530 >>105895615 >>105895627 >>10589 >>105888934 >>105889323 >>105889909 >>105889323 Enough for traumatize you enough to build statue When is last time Korean f----- Japanese so hard we built statue? Anonymous (ID: C7owrZn0) 01/06/17(Fri)14:04:32 No.105890132 ► >>105890278 File: 1449800427924.gif (1.11 MB, 250x250) >>105888903 >>105888934 >>105889323 >>105889909 Anonymous (ID: (SX5/01) 01/06/17 File: 1444345287518.gif (448 KB, 425x425) >>105888934 >>105889323 >>105889909 Anonymous (ID: X3 File: 1445742908048.jpg File: 1465842263074.jpg (28 KB, 413x395) Anonymous (ID: uG2dPsr/) +01/06/17(Fri)15:08:40 No. 105894569 ► >>105895289 >>105889323 Anonymous (ID: UhNWLTbc) +01/06/17(Fri)14:30 File: 1482176555678.gif (2.24 MB, 695x392) Someone screencap the bantz on this thread h-------- I wanna store these memories Anonymous (ID: Qdw9mOgx) 01/06/17(Fri)14:29:28 No. 105891919 File: 1482549005981.png (67 KB, 181x201) >>105889909 >RETURNED FIRE Anonymous (ID: iru+edPe) = 01/06/17 (Fri) 15: File: rmao.png (71 KB, 600x600) ayy rmao i love yellow bantz Anonymous (ID: viSM9UHr) File: 1.jpg (198 KB, 640x464) the eternal korean-nihon war Anonymous (ID: Xnl3eH1E) [01/06/17 (Fri) File: image.jpg (48 KB, 500x333) >>105888934 >>105889323 >>105889909 nonymous (ID: L5etSx2W) 01/06/17 (Fri)1 363099056102.png (6 KB, 168x200) >>105888934 >>105889323 >>105889909 Anonymous (ID: (VidRSkfQ) 01/06/17(Fr File: 1455689757127.jpg (6 KB, 230x220) >>105888903 >>105888934 >>105889323 >>105889909 Well f------ done.

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Anon is a real gangsta [redacted] | /r/Greentext

A 43KiB, 500x500, avatars-000196652419-n91pjs- Yung Glocc ID:x0XZGLXh Mon 07 Nov 2022 10:54:37 No.403311829 View Reply Original Report Quoted By: >>403311995 >>403312128 >>403312366 >>403313466 >>403313500 >>403313637 >>403314129 >>403314299 >>403315336 >>403315817 >>403315872 >>403316020 >>403316107 >>403316600 >>403316717 >>403317834 >>403320252 >>403321725 >>403322269 >>403326788 >>403327259 >>403328256 >>403328383 >>403328886 >>403330893 >>403331462 >Drive my fast whip to do drivebys or escape from the opps >All my income stream is tax-free without govt scrutiny >Sell drugs with high markup because there is nothing the consumer can do about it >Submit fraudulent claims to get more welfare checks for your relatives (thanks whitey for the free cash) >Smuggle stolen and counterfeit products from my car >Extort money, jewelry, and fancy clothing from people walking on your block >Break into elderly people homes and steal their prescription meds to resell >Loot stores for free s--- when a political issue involving your community arises >Cash only lifestyle allows you to live fancy lifestyle while evading the feds >Money is stored in a secret hideout instead of some k--- bank t500x500.jpg View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO Trace Being a real gangsta n---- is awesome >Wake up whenever you want because you are not a wagecuck >Wear fashionable clothes like puffer jacket, joggers, and black air forces 1s (all stolen of course) >Carry unregistered guns for self-defence or attacking whoever piss me off >Strongarm polling booths with machete to make sure no "tough on crime" candidates win the election >Hide in girlfriend's house who lives in a white suburb >Cheat on gf with stripper side chick who helps me sell drugs and rob customers >Police won't care to find you because its a leftist ruled urban area >If caught, convince or frame a kid to take the fall for crimes >Ghetto nightclub party with the squad >End the night by killing an aspiring rapper, as tradition Hey white bitches, jealous of my lifestyle...

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Anon gets made fun of during Christmas | /r/Greentext

File: 275117A7-C113-4711-93D3-2(...).jpg (240 KB, 1920x1920) O Anonymous 12/23/22 (Fri)23:47:31 No.71523955 [Reply] ► >>71524037 >everyone at the grandparents house for Christmas >everyone just chilling in the living room together >one cousin starts crying and everyone comforts her as she explains that she just broke up with her boyfriend and this will be her first Christmas "alone" in a long time >my bitch of an aunt loudly says "Dont worry, at least you arent like anon! What does this make anon, 28 or 29 Christmases alone?" >Everyone starts laughing at me, even the crying cousin who is laughing through her tears I cannot stand this state of affairs anymore. If I do not have someone to call my own by next Christmas, I will kill myself. O Anonymous 12/23/22(Fri)23:55:06 No.71524037 >>71524371 >>71523955 (OP) what did you do after that >> Anonymous 12/24/22(Sat)00:25:41 No.71524371 ► >>71524037 What could I do? I just sat there.

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Anon is Satan’s son. | /r/Greentext

5 KB JPG >Be Satan's son >Skinny white boy >That's right, everything PC people hate >Especially hate n------ >Get hungry >Wander through the woods late at night >Need my f----- gas station nachos >Spot the local Exxon mobile >Proceed to the route >N------ pull up to do n----- things >Probably r----- white women >Robbing banks and smoking crack >Loitering! >You're Satan's son. You gotta f--- em up. >Walk up to n----- >Haven't said anything and his n----- rage starts fueling >N------ gets in my face >"You f----- with the wrong person!" >"no you f----- with the wrong person!" You reply back >No you are! The chimp yells >"Get the f--- out of my face!" >How dare this chimp order a superior being around >Have to establish dominance >Lean in >"You're f----- with Satan's son! >Chimp doesn't back down >Chimp starts mocking you! >"F--- Satan and his son ooowowowo" >Some kind of Chimp call clearly >"Bro imma-" you begin to speak >N----- starts swinging widly >You brace yourself >But the apes arms are far too powerful and you fall unconscious >Dreams of Richard Spencer flood your mind >Even god said you f----- failed! >Your lord Richard Spencer is yelling at you! >Wake up later the next day >Run Home and hang self after writing this

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Anon goes on a watchlist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Omegle funnies Talk to strangers Somegle 45 KB PNG 12/24/22(Sat)01:22:21 No.891281134: Anonymous when i purposeruny spread GUN CAD FILES over the internet Ok I'll start >be me and the boys bored in a call >One of us hops on Omegle and starts streaming and trolling >Looks fun so i decide to do it too >Have to find and boot up an old laptop since I'm banned on my main PC >Realize I don't have much to talk about and do nothing for 5 minutes >Then I join a chat with a guy who says "hand over all your illegal materials" like a joke >Remember I have some illegal materials >Open bomb making pdf and start reading out how to make TNT >Try and sound and look as deranged as possible while doing it >None of the boys find it funny but I think it's the funniest s--- ever >Switch up my approach as most people skip instantly when you say "hey wanna make a bomb" >Instead now say "hey wanna watch a vine complation" then play a vine complation then pause it and ask if they want to know how to make a bomb >Do this for 2 hours but also start adding in how to 3d print guns >Decide I've been on for enough and go get some water >While drinking the water I realize that I am genuinely happy for the first time in a while Moral of the story spreading illegal files to unsuspecting people cures depression 12/24/22(Sat)01:30:48 No.891281544 Funny things that happened while I did this >Got a guy banned bc he was streaming and I was describing how to make nitroglycerin 165 KB JPG >Guy was jacking off and he went flaccid and skipped bc I was talking about 3d printing guns >A large amount of kids would scream and instantly skip when I said "do you wanna know how to make a bomb" thinking the fbi would come kill them or smth >I met another person doing the exact same thing >And the several people that were actually trying to write it down not realizing I'm f------ retarded and kept mixing up the measurements (rip whoever puts too much of one thing next to another and blows up cuz of me :p)

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Anon has a good birthday | /r/Greentext

File: images.png (7 KB, 259x194) Yesterday was my birthday anons Anonymous 12/23/22 (Fri)09:22:03 No.71518576 ► >>71518797 >>71518921 >>71519156 >woke up early >made a good breakfast >went to the gym >liftmaxxed >went out for a steak dinner >spent time with people >didn't try to make it all about me >didn't spend all day on PC or phone >focused on just enjoying the moment I had a good day. Simple as. >> Anonymous 12/23/22 (Fri)09:42:09 No.71518797 ► >>71519156 >>71518576 (OP) Heh, it was my birthday too. Happy birthday, twin. My day went alright, I had work but it was the last day of the year so we closed early and had some drinks together. >>71518576 (OP) >>spent time with people >> Anonymous 12/23/22 (Fri)09:53:17 No.71518921 File: 1603760075254.gif (139 KB, 112x112) glad you had a good time, anon Anonymous 12/23/22(Fri)10:14:20 No.71519156 File: 1671746694452590.png (65 KB, 734x605) >>71518576 (OP) >>71518797 Happy birthday anons This gift is for Christmas and your birthday. I'm sure you've never heard that before

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anon wants his karma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 172 KB JPG 12/23/22 (Fri)09:21:18 No.891239408 >be me >6 months ago, post a greentext about an experience I had with some females >I didn't have a reddit account, but thought the story was funny, so posted it here >My greentext gets put on r/greentext, entitled 'anon finally gets some bitches >36.1k karma >Some reddit f-- got a bunch of free karma because of me >I have a reddit account now >Now give me my 36.1k karma

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Anon might be gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous C-- 20 KB JPG 12/24/22(Sat)02:39:40 No.891285293 >Decide to switch things up with my 3 times a day m----------- schedule >This time I'll wank upside down, with head and upper back on the bed and my body and legs curved up the wall >Don't realise that until I c--, that I'm inadvertently giving myself a facial. >It's on my face >I like it Does this mean I'm gay, guys?

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anon tries the femdom experience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 50 KB JPG 12/23/22(Fri)22:32:30 No.891269170 >me >looking for first real femdom experience >meet 22 year old cosplay girl online >hot af >shes into it >become her slave online first >do everything she tells me >buy her new cosplay outfit >get nice photos and videos in it >get dominated >feels good man >get horny af >have rule to not c-- without permission >ask her, get denied >serve another day >she sends me a pair of her stinking socks as a christmas gift, no pay for that >i love her >buy more stuff for her, also pay 50€ in advance for our session in January >serve, be humiliated, work my ass off >get denied again >horny affffffffffffffff >finally feeling owned and submissive >wear her collar >will lie beneath her feet in a few weeks >kneeling before a hot girl in cosplay >will be tied up and be able to have my face be her footrest >only downside she doesn't care about my orgasm at all, dont even want me to tell her im horny >will not c-- infront of her but c-- buckets after the session in my place >go to 4chan to tell ANYONE >thank anon Thank you for listening to me. Merry Christmas everybody pic kinda related, not her but similar body, its the outfit i bought her too which she is gonna wear at our meeting

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Greentext Stories - anon thinks he might be autistic | /r/Greentext

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: Probable Retard Am I retarded? 21 KB JPG 12/24/22(Sat)11:01:38 No.891304101 >be me >15 years old >dad often makes jokes about me being autistic and my mom shuts him up every time >in the mall with my dad ordering presents >for some reason there is a big meetup of retards at the mall >retards in wheelchairs, downies, and all >get hungry >my dad gives me $10 to order wetzel's pretzels >struggle to order pretzels and have multiple completely autistic social interactions >literally fist bumps cashier trying to hand me change >woman says to my dad >'oh its nice how patient you are with him' >dad is confused >woman clarifies with 'It's nice how you are patient with him and let him out and let him do his own things!' >goes like 'they can be hard to deal with sometimes lol' >dad awkwardly laughs and says yeah so he doesn't have to go through the shame of saying how I am not retarded maybe I am.

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