: fnafff.jpg (561 KB, 1920x1080) SLETIC CATH Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)14:42:24 No.622498609 ► >>622498762 >>62 >>622498971 >>622499140 >>622500469 >be zoomer >*get Silent Hill* >"eww so dumb, no jumpy jumps" >*get FNAF* >"OMG BEST GAME EVER THINGS JUMPED AT MY FACE AND I PEED" >> Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)14:43:47 No.622498676 >makes up character >makes up thing for that character to say >gets mad about it

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File: images (1).jpg (7 KB, 228x221) Go to the gym and seek self improvement ffs Anonymous 11/30/24(Sat)21:49:58 No.32380026 >be me >have best friend for 5 years >let's call him Dave >Dave has been in love with his childhood friend/crush since grade 1 >we'll call her Abigail > She is active in sports and has an excellent grade in uni >Abigail gets a boyfriend >dude is a gym Chad™ >Dave goes full rage mode >rants to me about how "Chads" steal all the girls and women only like jerks >Dave says Abigail's bf treats her like crap and sleeps with lot of women >actually met Abigail's bf >he's legit the nicest guy I've met >Christian, has never slept with women, devout but doesn't push it on anyone >major in peace studies and wants to become a charity worker abroad >dude even helped me out at the gym >went from skinny as hell to gaining 10kg in 2 months thanks to him >We play basketball together with his bros >Dave, meanwhile, is lazy, overweight, watches anime/LoL all day, and spams edgy s--- on 4chan >bro, get your act together Dave, I know you're reading this because you live on /b/. Abigail didn't pick her bf just because he's jacked. She picked him because he's actually a decent human being. Take a hard look at yourself and stop spreading lies about someone who's better than you in every way. Touch some grass, bro.

Anonymous 12/01/24(Sun)17:30:56 No.696094373 1.09 MB JPG >this will increase our sale revenue

pink >be me, pink floyd fan floyd the 31 KB JPG final out >1983 >new pink floyd album released >"the final cut >go out and buy record >return home >gee, let's hope it isn't about roger waters' dad dying again >start record >"tell me true, tell me why, was Jesus crucified" >great so far >"was it for this that... daddy died" >godfuckingdammit.png >rip pin off >fling record out window >well, hopefully they return to their usual quality next album

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Anon has a trans daughter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: gzEC/8ei) De-trans'd my daughter in 1 da(...) 12/22/22(Thu)16:53:56 No.409306658 151 KB JPG >daughter says she's trans (9th grade) >wtfdo.jpeg >confess I'm trans too >she's confused >dad no you're not >stop being a bigot Charlotte, let's do this together >wear dress and makeup next morning >daughter is angry, tells me to stop faking >no, I'm trans honey. now get in the car and let's go to school >she's horrified, asks to be dropped off a block away >nope, walk her in, wave to front desk >she's fuming >wife can't stop laughing >pick up daughter, in skirt and heels. s----- makeup, glitter on cheeks. skip your to her and her friends >DAD STOP ITS NOT FUNNY >demand she use my pronouns, call her a bigot >next morning she's done with the whole trans thing, begs me to stop Is being trans now just the 90s version of goth? Definitely not cool when your parents do it. Lean into it and shame them out of it

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Jameson puts venom back in his place | /r/Greentext

116 KB, 500x583, Venom_h173.jpg View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO Anonymous Sun Jun 10 08:24:17 2012 No.37604759 View Reply Original Report Quoted By: >>37604901 >>37605289 >>37605339 JAMESON YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME PETER PARKER IS SPIDER-MAN View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO j-jonah-jameson.jpg, 15 KB, 360x247 Anonymous Sun Jun 10 10:28:29 2012 No.37606825 Report Quoted By: >>37607030 >>37607070 >>37607082 >>37607254 >>37607288 >>37607295 >>37607362 >>37607550 >>37608164 >>37608333 >>37609010 Yeah, I know... ..what, you thought I didn't know? Kid walks in, baggy clothes and a bunch of posing shots he couldn't have possibly taken of anyone but himself? Of course it's him. But I'm not gonna tell him. Men this day and age don't have the initiative and drive they used to. Girls break their heart, and what to they do? Post about it on their facespaces or mytwits, or whatever. And in walks a kid trying to make a difference, and some change, and you think I'm just going to pat the kid on the back? Hell no. Men crave competition, and an adversarial force to chase them on. I give the kid the works, so he gives the city results. You tell a kid he's doing well, and he gets bored. A Spider-Man can't get BORED. You, on the other hand, are what happens when everyone tells you you're gonna be great, and then it doesn't pan out. You had nowhere to go but down. And down you did. Is that thing even sanitary? You gave up after one case and got freaky with space goo? What sort of fabrege ego did you have? I don't have to tell Parker I believe in him to get him to be a hero. You needed approval to keep yourself from going insane. Who's the real man of integrity and valor. Now get the hell out of my office. I have tomorrow's headline to pick, and you were fired eight years ago.

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Anon likes milk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 76 KB JPG 07/20/21(Tue)16:27:38 No.64646556 >go for a walk >walk into a store >get a carton of milk >go outside and open milk >walk around while drinking it >enjoying life >everyone starts looking at me >few people start laughing >keep drinking milk what the f--- is wrong with people can i not drink milk?

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It's you Patrick! You're the American Psychological... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Favorite anime lines (Sun)15:07:39 No.140245384 161AA42A-EDA1-4F0D-832B-B18023B797D1.jpg 50 KB JPG > "Now you'll see... When I really go Mob Psycho." Anonymous >>140245384 (OP) # He didn't say that. 10/04/20(Sun)15:08:00 No.140245402

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anon is an oldfag | /r/Greentext

File: Worldrektwishitwas80sagain.jpg (122 KB, 728x663) I'VE SEEN THE FUTURE, MARTY! THIRTY YEARS FROM NOW, ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO LIVED THROUGH THIS GREAT 80S DECADE WILL WISH THEY COULD TRAVEL BACK IN TIME AND LIVE THROUGH IT ALL AGAIN! OI miss not giving a f--- Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)01:32:10 No.71581592 [Reply] >Be me, turning 40 >spent over half my life being a "responsible" adult >working a lot, paying bills >got married, had a kid >got divorced, and subsequently divorce r---- >she's a f------ idiot, so got her to sign a settlement >she's also a s--- mom, so had to raise kid on my own >kid is older now, so finally have some free time >on vacation from work for a week >playvidyagames.havefun >reading posts about some old PC games I used to play >Old-school counter strike >Quake 3 Arena >Unreal Tournament, Command and Conquer >Ultima Online and even f------ Everquest! >Have a vivid sense of memory >nostalgia trip back to growing up in the 80s and 90s >Remember clearly how it felt to have literally no worries >Getting home from school and playing Mega Man >Breath of Fire, Phantasy Star >Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Xenogears >old online games over dial-up and then in 1999, an only slightly-better 256kbps DSL >summer nights spent playing online before it was big >try to relive that feeling >while off work, try to play some s--- online >Fun for a bit, but something doesn't feel right >Can't fully immerse like I used to >that's when it hits me >"I still have responsibilities" >a kid that depends on me >bills that need paying >s--- around the house to keep up with >a job I have to go back to once vacation is done >days go increasingly fast once you pass 30 >week off work feels like a day or two >leftover stress from adulthood puts barrier on game feels >MFW I truly realize I will never feel that again >That feeling of true freedom, true separation from reality >I took it for granted as a kid, and may never have that feeling again. Here's hoping when all us oldfags are decrepit and s------- and pissing ourselves, that the roach-infested retirement homes will at least have decent enough networking to play some Unreal Tournament. Maybe the dementia will open a small portal back into those worlds we were able to so freely enter as kids.

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Anon fixes the computer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/18/13(Thu) 14:39 No.35366171 Replies: >>35366289 >>35366355 >>35367388 >>35367473 File: 1374172770058.jpg-(20 KB, 300x300, 1349199668967.jpg) >gf asks me to check her PC because it's slow >star working on it >check browsing history >"woman f------ pets", "how to make pet f--- me", "horse sex", "how to f--- your daughter" >ask her who else uses this computer >"oh, just my dad and me" >delete everything and never talk about this with her >never see my parent in law the same way again the game of computer fixing is a dangerous game indeed

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Anon is queer-maxxing | /r/Greentext

⠀ onymous >be me >straight guy >see male gas station cashier that I can't stop looking at >he's obviously gay >find myself imaging kissing him >get to his register >he looks me up and down and tries to make eye contact with me >I look down and away bc nervous Am I a f-- now? 78 KB PNG 12/26/22(Mon)16:43:52 No.71556819 2 Replies : Anonymous >>71556819 (OP) # https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexuality 12/26/22(Mon)16:44:44 No.71556824 View Thread : Anonymous >>71556819 (OP) # thats incredibly cute anon 12/26/22(Mon)16:45:51 No.71556826

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Anon likes bees | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)01:33:15 No.4391795 ALLAH Fhj7sLVXwAIKJxc.jpg 21 KB JPG >start learning more about bees >become sexually attracted to them Why

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anon on zombie apocalypse survival | /r/Greentext

File: kek.jpg (482 KB, 1200x512) HONO Would /r9k/ survive the zombie apocalypse? Anonymous 12/27/22(Tue)23:44:19 No.71580551 [Reply] How would you react to the living dead? Do you think your chances of long- term survival are high? The zombies follow the below rules... >starting from a certain point, every corpse on earth with their brain intact reanimates at the same time >anyone who dies past this point will return as a zombie if brain is intact >getting bitten or scratched by a zombie will result in eventual death (which leads to reanimation) >corpses usually reanimate anywhere from 1-3 minutes after brain death >the length of time before one succumbs to being bitten/scratched varies upon severity of wound, but you won't last longer than 24 hours >zombies are slow-moving and uncoordinated >most zombies are unintelligent, but some can think to a certain degree and use blunt objects or knives as weapons >zombies have memories of their past-lives and sometimes try to go places they used to visit or do things familiar to them, like answering phones, opening doors, pushing shopping carts etc. >zombies dont vocalize at all. they are completely silent So what would you do, /r9k/? Lock yourself in your room and cry and use the internet 'till it cuts out on you? Or maybe brave the apocalypse and go rescue some qt and use the end of the world as an opportunity to not be worthless?

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Anons share ideas for New Years Eve | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)08:21:24 No.891531282 >>891531583 >>891531677 >>891531994 >>891532060 >>891532255 >>891532459 >>891532938 >>891533456 >>891533559 >>891531243 >be influencer >what's an influencer? >nevermind >sitting at home xmas morning alone >waiting for the post to be delivered >nothing comes >weird >basically famous >none of my 248 followers sent me any gifts >quickly go shopping >buy some stuff >wrap them up and write names on it >do a xmas unwrapping video for my fans to enjoy >put on a fake smile and a push up bra >talk about all the lovely gifts from family >recieve 8 likes and 2 comments >Wow! Lucky you, And you look so beautiful! >Can you show feet? >spend the rest of the day getting drunk >it's a tough job but someone has to do it >without us influencers where would we be? >>891531329 Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)08:22:09 No.891531307 >>891531418 >>891531995 >>891532106 >>891532380 >>891532446 >>891532681 >>891531282 My sister spent 2 hours decorating her bedroom with christmas lights, took some pictures for instagram and then took all the decorations down. I hope you both kill yourselves at NYE.

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Anon makes a swastika | /r/Greentext

File: 1448612984759s.jpg (7 KB, 225x225) 44 Anonymous 11/28/15(Sat)21:46:24 No.654315319 >>654315388 Let get a greentext thread going I'll start with my OC >pours it right in >he actually did it. >instant regret >16 >11th grade >astronomy class >me and 3 friends all sit together in the back of class >always f------ around but the class was pretty easy >today we get to do a lab >fine >get to lab station and start melting little lead balls in a tiny crucible >fuckyeah.jpg >assignment is to make a "meteor" by melting lead and pouring it into a mold >each group gets to make its own mold >actually pretty neat >takes a while so we're just f------ around and talking to the group next to us >lead almost melted >I get to make the mold >greatest idea of my highschool career comes to me >make a swastika >herewego.png >no penises >not a penis >friend in charge of the lead looks at my masterpiece >doesn't give a f--- >not a p----, it was my idea" >I'm f----- Anonymous 11/28/15(Sat)21:46:58 No.654315388654315905>>654316285 File: 1447572637832.jpg (94 KB, 475x567) >>654315319 (OP) >i'm getting expelled for sure >f-----.gif >group next to us sees and makes a star of david lol >teacher's assistant is attracted by the laughter >s--- >make up b------- excuse about how it means peace and balance in hindu >not buying it but visibly amused >calls teacher over >he comes over and give him same b------- excuse >just stops and looks at it for a few seconds before sighing >"whose idea was this?" 2 >just stares at me > won't have this symbol in my classroom >gets a hammer and hands it to me >"destroy it >didn't immediately get sent to the office >hope.png >use back end of hammer to try to break it apart >won't break >friend takes hammer and starts hammering the s--- out of it >hammer breaks but he managed to break off one of the arms at the same time >teacher tells me to throw it away and goes back to his desk >pretend to >we go back to our desks and I hide the pieces in my backpack >have to draw a picture of what we made on the lab report >we draw a swastika with one slightly separated arm >tum it in looking directly at the teacher >we ended up getting an A on the lab >teacher didn't report it and none of us got in trouble >mfw I carried the pieces in my backpack for months >mfw I still have the pieces Anonymous 11/28/15(Sat)21:54:43 No.654316421 ► >>654316488 File received_1029493970445978.jpg (90 KB, 999x1776) Here it is 2

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Anon figures it out | /r/Greentext

secret esoteric knowledge mental illness >be me >low t, thin man >bullied throughout highschool for being "feminine" >pretend to be a t----- on /pol/ >everyone aggressively tells me I will Never Be A Woman >get massive confidence boost and reassertion of my masculinity I've found the secret to self confidence, bros

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Greentext Stories - anon does not like FNAF fans | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: fnafff.jpg (561 KB, 1920x1080) SLETIC CATH Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)14:42:24 No.622498609 ► >>622498762 >>62 >>622498971 >>622499140 >>622500469 >be zoomer >*get Silent Hill* >"eww so dumb, no jumpy jumps" >*get FNAF* >"OMG BEST GAME EVER THINGS JUMPED AT MY FACE AND I PEED" >> Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)14:43:47 No.622498676 >makes up character >makes up thing for that character to say >gets mad about it

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