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IDS HABIDDING >be Serbian >buy a gun >notice some f----- riding around in his car with the top down >he has the gayest mustache i've ever seen 239 1 STRATO ALI PIRTS 307 KB JPG >empty mag of .32 into the f------ degenerate >Austrians are p----- for some reason >every nation in Europe is gearing up for war >just because i shot some h--- >millions of people die

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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anon starts exercising | /r/Greentext

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Anon describes Lord of the Rings | /r/Greentext

7:52 472% The Breaking of the Fellowship >"I would have followed you...my brother...my captain...my king." >"No, Boromir, you can't die!" >Aragorn turns directly to the camera. >"Children, clap your hands if you believe! It's the only way to save Boromir!" >The audience is heard clapping off-screen. >"Harder! Clap as if your lives depend on it, for Boromir's certes does! Clap in the name of Christmas cheer, and Abraham Lincoln, and Peter Pan, and fresh hot apple pie on a window sill in an autumn morning!" >The off-screen clapping grows ever more uproarious as Boromir miraculously draws breath and revives, hale and hearty as ever, to the sounds of children's laughter and shouts of "hooray!" >"My lord Aragorn, thank you for saving me!" >"No, noble son of Denethor, thank them," Aragorn nods towards the screen. >Boromir turns his gaze to the camera and says "I have learned my lesson, never again shall I covet the One Ring." >He turns back to Aragorn "We must away to my father at once, and seek the aid of Gondor against the Uruk-Hai! My father shall yield to you and show my brother Faramir respect, ere we come to Rohan's aid and strike a fell blow against the white hand of Saruman." >"Well spoken, Man of Gondor." >The films continue normally excepting that Boromir is present and Denethor does not immolate himself. 2h (12/30 17:20). 178556239

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Anon makes a terrible discovery. | /r/Greentext

File: wojakb1.jpg (32 KB, 750x728) O No one was supposed to know anons. Anonymous 12/30/22(Fri)22:01:32 No.71626082 >be me >oldanon >been cooming for two decades >actually have some p--- on VHS >pretty good stuff, the 80's and 90's p--- had a certain vibe >get tired of tapes taking up so much space in my closet >decide to convert them all to digital >get a converter and the software for cheap >set it all up on my gaming rig >didn't think I would ever see a VCR meet a 3060ti >the resolution and sound quality are way higher than they ever thought would be possible in the 90's >notice something odd >I can hear the audio from a movie playing behind the p--- audio >do a little research and find out a lot of VHS tapes were recorded over something else that never sold >this was common for p--- because studios could get them cheap in bulk >notice something else >a lot of the "female" performers in b------ videos were trans >nothing shown below the waist, broad shoulders, masculine faces, wigs >boobs are never totally revealed, just in a tank top or something >could see beard shadows on a few of them >probably fapped to traps many times and never knew

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Anon is asexual | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous GUINNES BOOK OF EATING P---- 2008 308 KB JPG 12/31/22(Sat)04:06:46 No.891738903 >be me 2 months ago >at college >virgin >download tinder >Match with a 6.5/10, nice body but her brow makes her look like a caveman >Go on one date, talk for an hour or two >She messages me, says she wants next date to be in dorm room >As soon as she gets there, ask her to make out >Sex ensues (fine I guess) >Feel like the pressure of "losing my vcard" is off >Don't feel the need to talk to women anymore >Don't care about getting p---- Has this happened to anyone else?

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Anon turns his autistic cousin into Frasier | /r/Greentext

File: 1545703366561.jpg (220 KB, 719x535) Party ont I broke my autistic cousin by showing him Frasier Anonymous 02/26/22(Sat)09:53:28 No. 164459954>>164460010 >>164460030 >>164460042 >>164460085 >>164460122 >>164460134>>164460163 >>164460209 >>164460237 >>164460311 >>164462122 >>164463315 >>164463446 >>164464862 >>164465038 >>164465108 >Christmas 2019 >Go to aunt's house with family >Oh anon can you hang out with your cousin while we get dinner ready? >He is around my age, mid 20s, your stereotypical autistic. Obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine and random niche 80's and 90's Disney s---, totally disinterested in real life events and has that classic autism repeat stutter thing. >He's f------ around with legos or something in the back and drawing s----- cartoons, so I put on an episode of Frasier >A minute later he runs up right next to the TV and stutters 'Whats-ts is this-is?' >Tell him it's Frasier >He stands and watches >A minute later I laugh at a joke and he rapidly turns and looks at me right in the eye. >40 seconds later there is another joke and I laugh again. He laughs. He turns to me. I turn to him. I give him a thumbs up. >Little did I know that this exchange would break his brain. >Finish the episode and leave that evening. >Covid hits and don't see them for 2 years. >Go over to their house again for the first time yesterday. >Autistic cousin answers the door >That's already a big enough shock >Big boisterous laugh 'Ha-Ha! Welcome back welcome back! Come in come in, let me take your coats!" >He is no longer greasy. He is wearing a white shirt and an open cardigan. >We go to aunt to ask her what the f--- is going on while he is distracted putting on classical music - he claps his hands once and goes 'Ha-Ha! Ahhh yes!' as it comes on. >'Oh well he just somehow became enamored with that old TV show Frasier for some reason and really took it to heart' >Turns out Covid restrictions basically allowed him to enter a 2 year isolation tank with nothing but Frasier. >He would sit down and note every reference made to any opera, wine or greek muse so he could research them after. >Also demanded that he be taken to a speech therapist to fix his 'Ghastly impediment' >Oh my God I turned him into Frasier Anonymous 02/26/22(Sat)09:56:21 No.164460042 >>164460380 >>164460439 >>164461313 >>164461338 >>164464862 File: 1601593663655.jpg (24 KB, 538x300) >>164459954 (OP) The Frases Do Raly Seat Seped97 >Invites me to do blindfolded wine tasting with him. >He fits in all these references he has learned with such autistic precision that it sounds like he is one of the most educated men in the world >'Of course this wine is all that our budget will allow, so please excuse the lack of any Chateaux de Campbaillies Ha-Ha! Eh? Eh?' >Assumes everyone knows what the f--- he is talking about. >Critiques a community play of Gaslight he saw recently during dinner full of hilariously bitchy remarks >'Oh enough of that now. Anon? What about that port I was telling you about? Fancy joining me in a little snifter? Ehh? Ehh? Ha-Ha! Good man!' >He makes snide remarks about other people at the badminton club he joined as if I know who the f--- he is talking about. >Leave in disbelief that night. To be honest I'm kind of proud I broke him because he is pretty f------ fun to be around now. People that have never seen Frasier or knew him before would just think he is a crazy yet functioning eccentric genius

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Anon forks on the first date | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 12/30/22(Fri)14:29:50 No.891681604 >>891682469 >>891682816 >>891683058 >>891683650 >>891684160 >>891684286 >>891684634 >>891684977 >>891685637 >>891686203 >be in restaurant on a date with a girl >not going very well >she doesn't like my jokes >start doing a magic trick >hold the fork behind the napkin diagonally >fingers at one corner bend the fork in the middle >Look babe, there is a ghost in my napkin! >*ghost noises* >she can't even >accidentally drop my fork >waiter runs over and picks it up >Sir don't worry, I will get you a new one. >he returns with a new fork >hmmm >accidentally drop my napkin on the floor >Haha clumsy Sir, no problem I will get you a new one. >*lightbulb moment above my head* >he returns >Sir do you need anything else while I am here? >me stand up and push the girl out of her chair >she lands on the floor >chuck a glass of wine over her >me stare at the waiter >girl is motionless, possibly unconcious >Sir.. uhh.. one moment. >waiter goes into the back room >returns with a bottle of wine, a pillow, a wig and a black sharpie >Uhh.. Sir, shall I paint her for you? >me nod at him >do the ghost napkin trick again >waiter stands behind her and makes a cute little girly laugh as i do it >hehe >what a fun date we had together Anonymous 12/30/22(Fri) 14:43:10 No.891686203 >>891681604 I'm surprised you didn't take your c--- out and c-- on the floor, that waiter would have let you suck his d--- just to return some c-- to your body.

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Anon is clowning around | /r/Greentext

File: clown.jpg (49 KB, 644x942) Anonymous 12/30/22(Fri)23:10:28 No.891706699 [Reply] >>891707170 >have a bet with friends before a costume party, each of us puts in $200 into the pot and the first one to get laid takes all >I am a clown >at the party, drinking having fun chatting up a girl >spot one of my buddies going into a room >stop talking to the girl >finish my drink >walk up to the door >kick it in >punch my friend full force in the balls "Oh don't worry doll, we're just clowning around!" >pitch perfect woody woodpecker laugh as I insert my prelubed and erect clown d--- into his ass >clap his cheeks to the beat of Entry of the gladiators >honk my bike horn as I goofy inside him >jump out the window giggling so what should I do with my $600 guys?

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anons encounter at the caffe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 177 KB JPG 12/31/22(Sat)03:09:39 >Was an awkward retard in middle school and picked on a lot, I deserved it really. >Sitting in a cafe minding my own business. No.891719436 >Some old bullies from school stumble across me after nearly 13 years of not seeing each other. >Start acting funny toward me. >Gives them a blank stare and insist I don't remember them. >They find it funny until I tell them I was recently diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's so I literally can't remember them. >I don't actually have it, putting on my best braindead deer-looking-at-carlights look while talking to them like ex-friends. >Bullies look uncomfortable, one says his grandma has it and that he's sorry to hear and they leave. Feels good.

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anon takes a break from social media | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 79 KB JPG 12/31/22(Sat)01:53:39 No.891715298 >Take social media break >Girl I barely know tries texting me multiple times while I'm away >things like "hey what's up?" and "hey how are you?" >See her dms 2 weeks later when I come back >Reply "hey sorry I was taking a break from social media lol" >She leaves me on read I don't understand, what did I do wrong?

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you guys believe this? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 15 KB JPG 12/31/22(Sat)02:31:47 No.891717411 >put hands under machine >VW000000000SHSHSHSHSHSHOOOOO00000S HSHSHHSSHHSO0000000 >????? >hands dry do you all really believe this s---??

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Dick Kickem 3D | /r/Greentext

File: 1351650480689.jpg-(76 KB, 482x271, 481610d8f303e_featured_without_text(...).jpg) GI Anonymous 10/30/12/(Tue)20:28:00 UTC-6 No.160581982 ITT: Your favorite vidya quotes. "It's time to chew ass." -D--- Kickem -D--- Kickem -D--- Kickem "It's time to chew ass. Replies: >>160582992

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anon's ideal gaming experience | /r/Greentext

66 KB JPG >buy game >Full game on disc/cartridge >No updates >No downloadable content >No online functionality >Fully fleshed out single player mode with tons of content >Tons of random unlockable s--- >Bonus sections / levels >A whole ass built in split screen mode with minigames just in case your siblings wanna play >The best part, it's actually fun

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Greentext Stories - Anon Starts WW2 | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

IDS HABIDDING >be Serbian >buy a gun >notice some f----- riding around in his car with the top down >he has the gayest mustache i've ever seen 239 1 STRATO ALI PIRTS 307 KB JPG >empty mag of .32 into the f------ degenerate >Austrians are p----- for some reason >every nation in Europe is gearing up for war >just because i shot some h--- >millions of people die

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