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: Anonymous I f------ need help 27 KB JPG 01/13/23(Fri)16:18:50 No.4408056 >be me. 23 >Green Bay, Wi >little brother and mother brought dogs >brother's dog is a mid-sized puppy from a friend >mother's three dogs are small dogs from a failed farming venture in Ohlkahoma >They don't bother taking them to potty >The garage reeks of piss >suggested they get litter boxes. >they refused >l_want_to_die.mp4 >plz help >I don't want to spend on these dogs >I feel like I want to puke every day.

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon likes Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

File: nazi potter.jpg (9 KB, 300x168) Based Harry Potter? Anonymous (ID: oxfivwBqR 01/16/23(Mon)16:05:48 No.412375071 WHITE I was re-reading "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Ausch- kaban" and came across this. What did J R.R. Rowling mean by this? Any thoughts? "Harry Potter!? What have you been doing in the Gas Chamber of Secrets!? Why is there an Amazon delivery of 14 large ovens? And where TF have all the bank goblins gone!?!" Dumbledore whispered inaudibly, shaking the very foundations of the earth. "It wasn't me boss-teacher. I promise." Harry said, rather r*tardedly. "Very well, I shall blame Slatherine then. 6 million points to Gryff-in-door." [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] [Post a Reply] 0/0/1/?

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Anon is a man | /r/Greentext

: ULTRA MASCULINE (lol) HETERO A(...) I'm gonna f---, date and marry the fatess grossest ugliest meanest most backstabbing slandering gossiping vindictive ogre looking woman I can find and have some kids with it so she can f--- me sideways with child support and send me to jail to be killed by gangs of homosexual n------ because that's what being a MAN is about in modern times. Letting weak women and f------ walk all over you and suck you dry of resources and then dispose of you and move on. Because that's what nobility and honor smells like. Yeah....real man s--- 53 KB JPG 5 Replies 01/15/23(Sun)15:18:09 No.7183842 >>71838757 # >>71840602 # View Thread Anonymous >>71838429 (OP) # Based. You should do the ultimate manly thing and kill yourself Only true chad kings will ever feel such release 01/15/23(Sun)15:20:42 No.71838464 : Anonymous >>71838429 (OP) # based, every good male should wife up a post wall slut >>71838464 # incel vibes 01/15/23(Sun)15:42:37 No.71838757

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/ck/ anons discuss cooking quantities | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB JPG >a hint >a drizzle >a cup >a glass >a drop >a bit : Anonymous >a dash >a pinch >a sprinkle >a handful >a splash >a glug >a dab >>18810561 (OP) # >to taste 01/14/23(Sat) 14:32:51 No.18810561 I'm gonna violate you! 1672117386787.jpg 24 KB JPG >>18811007 # >>18815479 # 01/14/23(Sat)14:33:54 No.18810565

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Anon gets the Hawaiian | /r/Greentext

|6C941407-4086-4D3C-A74E-4(...).jpg (625 KB, 1631x1618) google yandex iqdb wait □ Anonymous 01/15/23(Sun)15:10:52 No.71837644 [2] [Reply] >be hanging with bros at game store >pizza place next door >i go next door to order my pizza >realize there's a hot chick working the register >"HEYCANIJUSTGETTHEHAWAIIAN™ >"sorry sir, could you say that again" >face goes red, palms sweaty >"can i please..get..the..hawaiian" >"uuh, of course." >"I give her the money, which is now covered in palm sweat >rush back next door >the next 15 minutes are the longest 15 minutes of my life >can't do it, can't go pick up the pizza and face her again like that >friends urge me and push me, i still resist >fall under peer pressure and walk over there >"or--or--order for b-b-b-rett please" >"the hawaiian? enjoy your night sir!" >drop pizza >piss my pants >manager looking at me and trying to hold in his laughter >girl goes to pick up the pizza but puts her hand over her mouth >I cross my legs and waddle out of the store I am never going back to that f------ pizza store ever again. F--- my life. V

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Dumbledore bellowed calmly with the fury of a thousand suns | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/14/20(Wed) 23:59:29 No.140724042 >"HARRY POTTER DIDYA PUTCHER F-----' NAME INDA GOBLET A FIYAH!?" >"No sir, I-I didn't!" Harry pleaded. >"LIAR! APOSTATE! BLASPHEMER!" Dumbledore roared in Harry's face. >This cannot be tolerated, Potter! You have defiled the holy sacrament of the Tri-Wizard Tournament! Now all of Hogwarts is at risk!" >The students' faces turned pale as a ghost, and audible whispers and gasped could be heard from the crowd. 119 KB JPG >"SILENCE!" Dumbledore declared. "Mr. Potter has committed an unforgivable sin. We all know what must be done. The Great Goblet's wrath must be appeased." >"NO HEADMASTER, PLEASE! TAKE ME INSTEAD!" Ron cried, running towards Harry and Dumbledore. >"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Dumbledore's wand unleashed the killing curse, and Ron's lifeless body crumpled to the floor. The students screamed in horror. >*SILENCE, YOU FOOLISH CHILDREN! SILENCE!" Dumbledore screamed calmly. >Snape seized Harry by the arm and dragged him to the Goblet. Dumbledore carefully took hold of the Goblet, lowering it from its pedestal onto a gold-trimmed square of silk fabric on the floor. Snape forced Harry into a kneeling position, his neck position directly over the Goblet. Dumbledore stood over Harry. He and the students began to chant in unison. >"O Great and Mighty Goblet of Fire, grant mercy to us, your unworthy servants. Accept this recompense of blood, in exchange for the sins of Hogwarts. Let the death of this blasphemer satisfy your vengeance." >Snape unsheathed a ritual athame, and seizing Harry by his scalp began to cut his throat open. Blood gushed out into the Goblet as Harry gurgled in pain. >*... this recompense of blood, in exchange for...! >The flow of blood trickled off. Harry was dead. The chanting ceased, and Dumbledore turned to address the crowd of students. >"May the death of your classmate, Harry Potter, serve as a reminder of where you stand. We serve the Goblet of Fire. The Goblet is our master." > The oblet is master... The students chanted, and chanted, and chanted.. >>140724184 # >>140724309 # >>140724913 # >>140726190 # >>140726492 # >>140728617 # >>140728877 # >>140730182 # >>140731340 # >>140731457 # >>140731813 # >>140735238 # >>140737011 # >>140738002 # >>140746851 # >>140749889 # >>140752724 # >>140759867 # >>140759994 #

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Malfoy pill, or no pill! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: xe6xKQ6x political relevance of movies (...) 11/02/17(Thu)12:35:14 20 KB JPG No.147653206 When you realize Draco was right the entire time >invites Harry to be his friend in the very first movie, warns him against hanging with the wrong types, gets spurred >Sorting hat puts Harry in Slytherin, he pusses out and goes Gryffindor like a cuck >Draco is redpilled on racemixing, calling n------ "mudbloods" to their faces straight up >AESTHETIC A---- haircut, tall and thin and alpha-looking vs. Harry's manlet stature that impresses only Ginny (an actual coalburning n------loving inbred fetal alcohol syndrome having w----) in the end >BTFO's Harry multiple times in front of the entire school, makes hundreds of p------ wet simultaneously >Dad still alive for most of the series >Gets the succ from hot Slytherin thots daily, only succ Harry ever got was from a dementor, Ginny doesn't put out and has bad Weasley genes so his kids are probably retarded vs. Malfoy's guaranteed racially pure A---- descendants Take the Malfoy pill

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anon defends his property | /r/Greentext

File: clowns17n-2-web.jpg (94 KB, 750x829) E Anonymous 03/22/17(Wed)16:03:39 No.726490398 ► story time autists >be me >6'6" 280lb redneck >we're talking full blown, AR15-toting, Trump-supporting, trailer-dwelling Texan redneck >live 2 miles from nearest human and 10 miles from nearest town >watching s----- reality TV one evening >stark naked b/c Texan summers and my wagie ass can't afford A/C >at about 11pm, hear car pulling up in driveway >LeaveMeAloneShitheads.jpg >look out window, see s------ 1990s Toyota covered in graffiti >3 teenagers in what I'm guessing was supposed to be "scary" clown attire file out >recall string of vandalism in local news, lightbulb goes off >NotOnMyWatch.exe >grab rifle, throw on nearest pair of boots and quietly go out back door >start slowly circling around trailer hoping to catch the little f------ in the act >hear some indistinct talking on side opposite mine, figure it's my chance >dramatically jump out with rifle up and start thinking of something imposing to say like "wanna die?" or "f--- you" >stage 5 autism kicks in, my brain fuses the two, and I shout at the top of my voice "WANNA F---?" >quickly look down and realize all the adrenaline has made my member fully erect >realize how it must look from their perspective >a 6'6" fatass with an AR15, a woody, and wearing nothing but cowboy boots has just asked them to f--- >I have NEVER seen anything haul ass faster in my entire life >no vandalism on the news for a couple weeks

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Anon has a problem | /r/Greentext

174 KB PNG > be me > idk what to do anymore > whenever I meet a girl she shows pure interest in me for few weeks then ghost me >It happened already like 10 times > Luckily I am not a virgin eventhough I have never had a gf my body is 5 girls > All of them ghosted me after sex or few weeks after not even wanting to be friends with me > whenever I say "But we can be still friends." which I actually wouldnt mind they block me so I have never even been in a friendzone... > want to kms soon > whenever I caught feelings I got hurted > Hurted so many times that I cant even fell in love anymore imo > Last time, when I almost made out with a girl at toilets I didnt even get hard cuz I am too much disgusted with femoids Rn I am talking to a really cute blonde, we also kissed each other, but we already talk to each other for 2 weeks so I expect ghost every day, no feelings for her anymore. I understand pat bateman every day more and more

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Harry Potter and FemBoy Prince | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)13:29:01 No.865123914 a72b9062e0d32ffb434605d7252773c1.jpg 1024 KB JPG *dumbledore walks up the stage* *everyone clapping and cheering* >dumbledore: welcome welcome to... *people clap* >dumbledore: i admire your enthusiasm but please try to hold it just for a minute >welcome to... HOGWARTS HOTTEST TWINK COMPETITION!!! *people go crazy clapping and cheering* >as you all know this is the final round, dumbledore said >please welcome the final contestants: >haaaarrrry pooootttteeeerrrr AND draaaaccoooo maaalfoooy *people cheer* *harry and draco shows up dressed in the normal hogwarts uniform* >hope you didn't wear your best thigh highs just to lose potter? >i did malfoy, the pink one but not to lose *malfoy getting visibly nervous* >dumbledore: okey boys, show us what you got *complete silence* *harry and malfoy take a deep breath and rip off their uniform revealing fat asses and thigh highs* >you chose the the black thigh high huh malfoy? >i play to win potter *the crowd goes nuts* >dumbledore: let's begin, START THE MUSIC!!! *ok boomer start playing* *harry and malfoy start doing the ok boomer dance and taking every chance to show ass* *3 hours later* >dumbledore holding the mike: THEY ARE STILL DANCING FOR 3 HOURS!!! >but it's time to decide who won >is it... harry? *the crowd claps hard* >or is it... malfoy? FIN *the crowd goes NUTS* >malfoy: you know why you lost potter? >*tearing* why is that malfoy? >because people like the "i'm disappointing my father" energy, and you are fatherless potter FATHERLESS *potter crying like a lil bitch*

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Anon transforms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12 KB PNG 09/16/18(Sun)23:02:27 No.780057804 >be me >watch greentext videos on youtube >decide to go to the source >browse r9k and b looking for greentexts >all i find is p--- >decide to make my own >immediately after posting my girlfriend calls and breaks up with me >parents call me and tell me im disowned >boss fires me >suddenly feel a huge gain in weight >i now have 3 more chins, all covered in hair >my stomach is so big I can't see below my waist >clothes sink into all of my flab >I now weigh so much that I can't move any part of my body besides fingers >I can't even click off of this godforsaken website Help me fellow anons wat do

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Anon is a conspiracy theorist. | /r/Greentext

the receiving an important new mission from President George Bush on September 10th 2001 Anonymous 01/15/23(Sun)21:08:21 No.892685020 7/11 was a full-time job.

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Anon tries to flirt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 124 KB PNG 06/20/21(Sun)05:25:44 No.64226425 >Cute gal looks at me. >Try to think of a non-cringy compliment. >Notice she has some wacky sandals on. >Think to compliment her on those. >"Hey, nice feet." comes out of my mouth instead. >See the look of disgust on her face >Instantly die inside.

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Greentext Stories - Anon doesn't like dogs | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous I f------ need help 27 KB JPG 01/13/23(Fri)16:18:50 No.4408056 >be me. 23 >Green Bay, Wi >little brother and mother brought dogs >brother's dog is a mid-sized puppy from a friend >mother's three dogs are small dogs from a failed farming venture in Ohlkahoma >They don't bother taking them to potty >The garage reeks of piss >suggested they get litter boxes. >they refused >l_want_to_die.mp4 >plz help >I don't want to spend on these dogs >I feel like I want to puke every day.

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