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Political Compass - Cringe shit I did in high school 7x6 wojak compass | /r/PoliticalCompassMemes

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PYONGYANG I learned about North Korea in Subscribed to several North winter 2013 and was Korean news fascinated Spent one day answering every question with sources and posted either Да или a picture of нет Pyongyang on my Instagram COMMIE LUNCHROOM We were doing a 1984 unit in English class freshman year and I bought a Soviet flag on eBay I didn't like it necessarily, the concept of it just interested me Brought it to school and hung it from my table at lunchtime Wischi Did it every day until a popular senior walked up to me and respectfully asked me to stop, "millions of people died under that flag" Consider it to be the single most cringe thing I did in high school CRIED TO COACH When I didn't make varsity lacrosse I broke out crying I didn't mean to, honestly - it was an impulse PROTEST RAP I was mad at the wealth disparity in my hometown so I made a complex rap about it in junior year Would sing it in the lunchroom GAAMAA O VERBA He appeared uncomfortable and made efforts not to interact with me in the future Only later did I realize they were laughing *at* me, not *with* me "F--- YOURSELF" Freshman year was in an argument with the vice principal after getting called into the office yet again Muttered "f--- yourself" under my breath BUS DRIVER Freshman year I was mad at my bus driver for a reason I can't remember Got in-school suspension for two weeks Went on a rant comparing myself to Rosa Parks and said I was gonna "launch a second Civil Rights movement on this school" "ДА/НЕТ" Got detention for making threats - again These were the only words I knew in the Russian language at the time Thought I was being so badass but everyone around me was just annoyed FLAT CAP My grandma's husband died my sophomore year and left me a flat cap from the 40s I wore it to school for a week When I distributed the school newspaper thereafter I wore it and shouted "extra, extra!" F--- I was autistic So I wore the opposite color on the spectrum as our school colors I stick out like a sore thumb in every photo from that day I thought I was making a point but it just looks bad HOLOCAUST NUMBERS In junior year we read Night and as the only Jewish person in high school, people kept asking what I thought of it One day I sharpied Holocaust numbers on my wrist I genuinely thought I was respecting the memory of the dead I want to bang my head on the wall just thinking about my reasoning HARBORED FUGITIVE One of my friends got sent to juvie junior year for yet-undetermined reasons Then he suddenly got out but said he needed to hide I let him sleep in my car overnight He got recaptured and wrote me letters from jail DEFY SPIRIT THEME CANADA FETISH Once I had calmed down The annual school spirit day was happening but I had just gotten detention and I wanted to protest administration from my fascination with Communism in freshman year I took on the closest ideology - socialism ATE SOAP My peers convinced me to eat hand soap in freshman year math class I did it, then threw and up sent home me got My mom was disappointed in SNITCHED ON TEAMMATES CHIANG KAI-SHEK HITLER SALUTE MUN ISRAEL Bought an Israeli flag and pin and showed up to the concert decked out Was upset at my immature teammates for getting more prestige and adoration than me O A couple of them had been sending nudes of minors in the lacrosse team group chat I showed the coaches, kicked off an investigation, and got like three guys in big trouble Freshman year I wrote a novel and published it Feel guilty for snitching even though it was the right thing to do MICHIGAN FAN HOCKEY SIMPING I was a Michigan fan in Ohio not to be a contrarian, but because my Mom went there At the beginning of my sophomore year I determined that succeeding in high school was about survival of the fittest, and I latched myself to the hockey team They generally tolerated me there. was some overlap with lacrosse - but I obviously didn't fit in Being a Michigan fan in Ohio is a death sentence Anyway I latched onto this contrarian image and flaunted being a Michigan fan I was a token And Mitt Romney called Canada socialist once so I ran with it Wore Canada stuff to school, carried around a flag at one point, and told everyone I wanted to move there Died down after a couple months FIRST BOOK Because I was so young my teachers were very impressed and four bought copies In retrospect it's a p------------ and I'm horrified that anyone opened it "BABY" If you'll believe it, I actually managed to get a steady girlfriend for five months my junior year Would publicly tweet at her cringe s--- like "I love you baby goodnight My peers made fun of me and they were right to do so "NAKEY ON THE LAKEY" One day in January of my senior year it was -2° with a -21° windchill out For the clout I stripped to my underwear and live-streamed myself walking out onto Lake Erie as far as I dared I dressed up for Halloween freshman year as Chiang Kai-Shek I had no clue who Chiang was, I just thought he looked cool Holy f--- was that dumb God MUIT Nobody knew what I was supposed to be There was definitely a gay element to it CROSSFIRE Posted the screenshots on Twitter and it was actually somewhat popular He never replied but when I walked at graduation he said "thanks for the emails" and winked Changed my Facebook status to "in a relationship" She was horrified and never talked to me again GANGBANG Freshman year two jocks in my class convinced me to walk up to the teacher and ask if she wanted to "gangbang" I genuinely didn't know what that word meant but I did it She was surprisingly cool about it and told me quietly to go back to my desk HIGH DRIVING In May of my junior year one of the most popular kids in school (same guy from "Puck Slut") sold me a gram of weed for $20 My "friend" was egging me on to do it, "c'mon bro you're Jewish it would be hilarious just do it once" So I did it First time I ever smoked, I was high off my ass drove home afterwards like Jordan Belfort on quaaludes My "friend" took a picture and h-------- if that ever gets out it will look very very bad "NO SHAVE NOVEMBER" I hyped up my attempt at No Shave November senior year, said I was gonna grow a huge beard Grew pretty much nothing but flaunted every hair Made a big deal about shaving that nothing on November 30 M One of the first things I did was photoshop my face onto Taylor Lautner's body It's so badly done and absolute cringetopia, but I was proud of it "IN A RELATIONSHIP" || NUDE ON STORY GUN BRAGGING Sophomore year I went on three dates with a girl and we seemed to be hitting it off When I was 16 I accidentally put a nude I had meant to send privately on my Snapchat story It was up for two minutes before I realized my mistake Supermac's EMAIL SUPERINTENDANT LAUTNER SHOP FAKE PRESS PASS JEW PENNIES Included memes relevant to the time In senior year I made a fake press I was the only Jewish person in In senior year I sent the superintendent of schools long emails each week in winter begging for a snow day Learned how to use Adobe Photoshop in Newspaper class at the beginning of junior year pass so I could get free admission to all sporting events my high school so I played up the stereotypes as sort of a Sambo character Some crude kids took to throwing pennies at me and I leaned into it By the time I took it down 12 people had seen it, and three had screenshotted GROUP CHAT I wanted to hit up a dozen different girls but didn't want to text them individually So I put all their numbers in at once and texted "hey" It started a group chat FRESHMAN DRIVING When I was a junior I used to drive a freshman home every day I was assigned Israel for Model UN junior year and got super hype about it One day he begged me relentlessly to take the wheel; I allowed him He immediately floored it and went up to 60 in a 25 zone, then braked suddenly - it's a miracle we didn't crash Wrote a position paper urging the world to nuke Palestine and Iran sophomore year and adored his story It f------ passed and I got reprimanded by my teacher afterward LOCKER ROMMEL I learned about Erwin Rommel Printed out a picture of him and hung it in my locker It was there for a month before I came to my senses Everyone definitely knew it was fake but they just rolled their eyes and let me in Commerce 100 In sophomore year I bought a historic rifle I had absolutely zero intent of shooting at any time I showed pictures to everyone I could This was around the time of Sandy Hook so I got detention for "implying I would commit a school shooting" STUDENT COUNCIL AUTHORITARIANISM At the beginning of sophomore year the ballots for this year's student council came around and I was upset to find we had only one choice for President, Vice President, and Secretary I called it "tyranny", compared it to 1984, and went on a one- person campaign to add more people to the ballot Nothing happened FIGHT CLUB At the end of my junior lacrosse season a secret after-practice boxing club popped up "H---!" Sophomore year: was still deep in the closet but was doing s--- with a flamboyantly gay guy I earnestly competed but lost every fight 31941 www Was insecure about it and one day when he passed in the hall I shouted "h---!" He got angry and never talked to me again, I feel bad about it MISOGYNIST PRESENTATION Junior year I wanted to have the best end-of- year English class presentation ever and my teacher was a huge feminist I hyped up that I was going to do something offensive and 11 people got hall passes to visit my presentation I stood in front of the class, exclaimed, "women are equal and they deserve respect - just kidding, they should suck my d---..." "...is what a misogynist WOULD say!" got an A! Legit made about $4 from this joke MEOW Freshman year math teacher made the mistake of telling a bunch of 15 year olds that he ran over a cat on the way to work For the rest of the year, we all meowed at him whenever his back was turned He was clearly disturbed by it and cried once "PUCK SLUT" At the end of my Junior lacrosse season my teammate, one of the most popular kids in school, told me he'd arranged a "puck slut" to f--- me A "puck slut" is a girl who will f--- any hockey or lacrosse player Anyway we began making out and then my teammate and a few of his friends popped out from behind the couch - they had been recording it They replayed it and laughed, I was embarrassed GAME ALC At the beginning of my senior year I found out seniors were secretly selling alcohol at football games I decided to undercut them: I stole liquor from my parents' cabinet, filled a bottle with it, and tried to sell it for $1/shot I had zero buyers because people thought I'd roofied it

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