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Anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext
Uploaded by Reddit Moments Feb 03, 2023 at 02:45PM EST
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![[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: wife.png (704 KB, 950x950) [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] 1/0/2/7 Kitty Softpaws Anonymous 02/03/23 (Fri)03:11:39 No.72071381 Im gonna be honest, I want Kitty Softpaws. Like, I WANT Kitty Softpaws. Ever since I first saw her in theaters I fell in love with her. Those deep, big eyes. Her smooth, black fur. Her snappy, stong personality. And of course, her soft, soft, sssssoooooffffttt paws. All of it is just literal perfection. Every second she was on screen I could feel my heart melt a little. Especially that scene when she shaves P---. Ho. ly. S---. I wanted to be on that boat right there with her. Just imagining her being only an inch from my face, slowly and gently gliding her cute little gatito blade all across, her showing the cutest of smiles with the beautiful dreamlike scenery of the dark forest all around us... Just... f---, man. I want to marry this cat. I want to spend the rest of my life with Kitty Softpaws. I want to see her standing in front of me at the altar of the church back at Santa Coloma. When I was driving home from the movie theater I literally almost f------ crashed because I was fantasising about my life with her. It was worth it though, every moment I have I think of her. I love you, Kitty Softpaws. And while I'm on the topic, F--- Death for hogging all of the rule34 attention while Kitty gets almost nothing. It's the disappointment of the century having Generic Male Wolf Character#3957318567 sitting on mountains and mountains of art while Kitty gets whatever crumbs are left over. These stupid artists need to get better taste. >> Anonymous 02/03/23(Fri)03:13:41 No.72071404 ► But she's black, Anon. Is the pillowy soft paw job worth it? [Post a Reply] 1/0/2/7](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/525/251/55e.png "Anon likes Kitty Softpaws | /r/Greentext")
![- File: wojakhellvoid.jpg (12 KB, 225x225) I think I just killed a family Anonymous 02/02/23(Thu)18:42:48 No.893721929 [Reply]► >>893722419 >>893722707 >Be 22 year old college student >Arguing with dormmate about who can put what in the fridge >Tell him for the third time that a half-gallon of month old near rotten fruit juice does not constitute anything "edible", and as such must be thrown out/poured down the drain >Doesn't listen and keeps up his b------- >Decide enough is enough and while he's at class pour it out the window from my fourth story floor so that when he comes back to our dorm he notices his s--- liquid on the front steps of the building >Nobody's around, now's my time >In my anger accidentally massively overshoot and it goes fifteen feet >Massive white SUV with visible cross of Christ sticker (undoubtedly a Mormon family) on sliding door comes down the street at exactly the speed limit >This CantBeGood.rkt >Rotten fermented s--- fruit juice with the transparency of swamp water splatters across their windshield with an impact zone the size of a suicide jumper >Car swerves to the left goes clean over the curve and hits a wall head on >Too terrified to look out my window for two houes but hear sirens >Finally muster up the courage to look over, police cars still there and there's yellow tape](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/525/228/ad1.png "Anon kills family | /r/Greentext")
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Greentext Stories - Anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext
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