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Anonymous 20 KB PNG >cmd opens and closes 6 times >error message boxes popping up constantly >screen flickers a couple times >all files get encrypted and ransomware box asking for bitcoin appears >messagebox opens that says "jk lol" >all files get unencrypted and ransomware file deletes itself 02/15/23(Wed)15:00:33 No.91548281 ok >download pirated Elden Ring >run it >game runs >hits main menu of Elden Ring and a messagebox pops up that says "not jk actually" >computer s---- itself and turns off >have been trying to turn my pc back on for 2 hrs Anonymous 02/15/23(Wed)15:02:50 No.91548310 zoomers are the victims of more ransomware and scams than boomers now

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

>she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold 00 Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun > dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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Edit: thank you for the gold, kind stranger uwu | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous REDDIT AWARDS (S Silver Spend 100 Gold Platinum Spend 500 Spend 1.800 75 KB PNG 4 Replies Anonymous >>72234255 # Anonymous Somebody awarded my post with reddit gold. 02/15/23(Wed)12:45:32 No.72234230 Did you edit your post to say thanks for the gold kind stranger 02/15/23(Wed)12:42:42 No.72234201 I'm not sure what to make of this. >>72234230 # I edited it to say: View Thread >>72234411 # >>72234619 # 02/15/23(Wed)12:47:27 No.72234255 Edit: Kill n------. Behead n------. Roundhouse kick a n----- into the concrete. Slam dunk a n----- baby into the trashcan. Crucify filthy blacks. Defecate in a n------ food. Launch n------ into the sun. Stir fry n------ in a wok. Toss n------ into active volcanoes. Urinate into a n------ gas tank. Judo throw n------ into a wood chipper. Twist n------ heads off. Report n------ to the IRS. Karate chop n------ in half. Curb stomp pregnant black n------.

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Anon hates the word "wholesome" | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The word "sweet" was killed by(...) PEMAI 02/12/23(Sun)00:25:49 No.72183898 >"thats kind wholesome my dude" One of the greatest crimes against the english language commited by reddit is the fact that people completely dropped the expression "sweet" to refer to anything good, kind, charitable or cute because a bunch of redditors starting to use the word "wholesome" everywhere instead, to the point it completely lost its original meaning and purpose. 63 KB JPG >"dude thats like so wholesome" >"woah dude those kittens are so wholesome" I have seen REAL NORMAL ASS PEOPLE call things wholesome IN REAL LIFE until i REMINDED THEM that the expression "AW THATS SWEET" has existed FOR LITERAL CENTURIES and WAS NOT popular until like 6 OR 7 YEARS AGO. The world "wholesome" has now been accepted as part of spoken language and has been tormenting me ever since i started to seriously becoming acquainted with internet culture like 5 years ago and i swear every time i hear it one of the neurons in my prefrontal cortext straight up f------ dies. Im so sick of this s---, makes me murderously angry.

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Anon agrees with Omni man | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 180580432 26.8 kB JPG He did nothing wrong >completes his duty >raises his son to be strong 3 hr ago ... >protects earth better than an entire team of "heroes" >loving husband despite his inferior wife >sees humanity for what it is and wants to help them be more useful to the galactic community >"but hurr durr he killed some people so he is le bad!!" and? He saved far more 4 REPLIES 8 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon cant shit without his toilet stool. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous So i need one of this to poop 14 KB JPG 02/12/23(Sun)12:56:33 No.72199572 >Be me >Need a toilet stool to s--- >I cant s--- without my toilet stool >Mexican guy comes to repair some pipe s--- on my bathroom >Sees my s------- support thingy >Laughs >Embarrassed.jpg >Forget about it and continue with my day >Urge to s---.xml >Go to the other bathroom >Need my s------- support thingy >Return to my main bathroom >He is still repairing the pipe >Grab my toilet stool >Leave >Hear mexican guy laughing What, why is it so funny, he doesn't knows that it helps me get the correct position to s---.

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Anon give advice | /r/Greentext

File: 194ndzF.jpg (47 KB, 396x385) I turn 20 tomorrow Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)16:26:59 No.25957 Anything I should know for my 20s that you would like to share? Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)16:49:31 No.25957818 ► >>25957833 >>25957759 (OP) >Do hard things now before you feel "left behind" in your 30's; take care of your future self >Save as much money as you can and take advantage of compound interest/crypto >DO NOT rush to get married/have children; wait a minimum of 5 years in a relationship >Don't make your job your whole life >Learn patience - work, home, school - multitasking isn't everything, slow down >Friends (and family for that matter) come and go - don't let toxic people ruin your life >Take calculated risks >Have fun but be responsible Anonymous 01/07/22(Fri)03:31:54 No.25618366 ► >>25618382 Improve yourself until you become a person that you like being.

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Anon goes on a field trip | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/14/23(Tue) 13:29:23 No.894357322 >>894357753 >be me >2nd or 3rd grade >class trip at pilgrim museum, something to do w old america or other >pilgrim guide tells class about traditional dance done in pairs >guide pairs up boys and girls in class >get paired with prettiest girl in class >she makes a disgusted face at me >dance w her reluctantly >she keeps making faces during dance >dance over >idea.png >to get even, i tell her "you disgust me" >go to sit down and listen to pilgrim guide >tap on shoulder >turn around >its the girls mom, she was chaperoning on the trip >"don't you ever talk to my daughter like that ever again, and i mean ever" >ok.jpg why did she suddenly care enough to babble to her mom? stupid wench

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literally (You) tonight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 128 KB JPG 02/14/23(Tue)18:26:55 No.180583049 >you: the scorpion jacket stays ON during sex >her: whatever, so long as I get my money after this

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Anon saves his virginity | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 39 KB JPG 02/14/23(Tue)17:08:19 No.894365999 >be me, computer science university student 5 years ago >lives in a "relatively free no rule" dorm >everyone there are literature major, except me >im that science guy who hang out outside class time late at night with delinquents >one night, all drunk, these 2 cousin russian literature major chicks invite me to 3 >to me, who everyone knows is a virgin religious weaboo >i thought they were joking >so i respond jokingly with "In the name of Christ, begone lustful demon, for it is written" >waiting for the laugh >the two chick has poker faces, amazedly stared at me >they say i gain their respect >since that day, literally, not a single woman in the literature faculty teases me or jokingly flirt with me >some even consult to me about their love lives, dudes or girls >that time when a joke makes one faculty full of delinquent saw me as a father figure >which makes me single for the rest of my bachelor degree years

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Anon visits a coffee shop | /r/Greentext

IS YOUR BARISTA SECRETLY CONSERVATIVE?!? 4 KB JPG >be me >go to coffee shop order an iced latte (so i can s---) and a small cuban sandwich >barista who has that Kardashian style makeup says "perrrrrrrfect" >"That'll be $27.45 would you like whip cream with that?" >Say yes sure >"Great that'll be 29.75." So this is it, huh? The new normal? I'm not a wagie but I bet it must really f------ suck for wagies

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Anons coworker is a gamer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 69 KB JPG eard of it? 02/14/23(Tue)11:38:51 No.894355631 >>894355629 >hey anon do you play videogames? what's your favorite game? >uh yeah I like a variety of genres really I don't like staying with one game for too lo- >haha ok, my son plays fortnite, have you

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Anon is seduced | /r/Greentext

02/14/23(Tue)20:08:17 No.894360736 >at gym, some chick stares right at me as I walk in and continues to hold gaze even after I noticed >latina broad with ugly face but very thick and tall >just ignoring everyone and doing my Bench, looking at the ground, listening to a Podcast on the French Wars of Religion Anonymous 12 KB JPG >keep seeing her feet/hearing her walk in front/past me to move to the next meme exercise despite there being far more room going around me >goes right in front of me to do more meme exercises >frequently pulls on her leggings to make a loud smacking sound Real alpha female s---, I kneel.

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Anon meets the mothman. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Is anybody aware of any mothma(...) 114 KB JPG >>34085966 # : Anonymous >>34085942 (OP) # Not mothman but bothman has been seen in my area. : Anonymous >>34085961 # What is that? >>34085972 # 02/14/23(Tue)11:14:55 No.34085942 : Anonymous If you can find any timestamped sighting accounts online, please post in thread. 02/14/23(Tue)11:18:13 No.34085961 02/14/23(Tue)11:19:09 No.34085966 02/14/23(Tue)11:19:54 No.34085972 >>34085966 # Bothman nuts in your mouth.

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Greentext Stories - Anon Pirates Elden Ring | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 20 KB PNG >cmd opens and closes 6 times >error message boxes popping up constantly >screen flickers a couple times >all files get encrypted and ransomware box asking for bitcoin appears >messagebox opens that says "jk lol" >all files get unencrypted and ransomware file deletes itself 02/15/23(Wed)15:00:33 No.91548281 ok >download pirated Elden Ring >run it >game runs >hits main menu of Elden Ring and a messagebox pops up that says "not jk actually" >computer s---- itself and turns off >have been trying to turn my pc back on for 2 hrs Anonymous 02/15/23(Wed)15:02:50 No.91548310 zoomers are the victims of more ransomware and scams than boomers now

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Uploaded Feb 15, 2023 at 04:24AM EST

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