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Anonymous WHEN THERE'S A LOT OF ASSIGNMENTS IN THIS WEEK 43 KB JPG 04/12/23(Wed)06:58:43 No.14882862 >be me >struggle with perfectionism and prioritisation of tasks >submit an assignment 40 minutes late last night >assignments submitted after 1 min after the deadline get marked down to a maximum of 50/100 >this assignment is worth 50% of my grade as well >email tutor >tutor says there is nothing they can do >lightbulb moment >email tutor again saying "I was interstate" >"this city has 1.5 hour time difference" >"that is why I messed up" >tutor says this sounds like a genuine reason, is happy to grade assignment normally >"as long as you can send some kind of evidence that you were interstate" >sweats What would you do in this situation? I'm thinking fake plane ticket email but just wondering if that could backfire. 6 Replies i need the most jewish of suggestions /his/ View Thread

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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An anon tip is provided. | /r/Greentext

>buy Helium >around 100 balloon >gun >attach balloons filled with helium to gun >shoot yourself >let the gun fly away >no one will ever know Thank me later

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Anon shits on 4chan instead of using his military genius to conquer nations | /r/Greentext

File: 1411924096398.png (356 KB, 917x483) WHO WOULD WIN? A Stick VS 1000 US Marines Anonymous (ID: FKONWLZ) 11/23/14(Sun)23:11:03 No.581035868581036028581036107 >>581036353 >>581036760 >>581036765 >>581037395581037482581037536581038831581038852581039313 >>581039339 Tough choice Anonymous (ID: TzbEUWVz) 11/23/14(Sun)23:17:28 No.581037053581037181581037278 >>581037393 All it is is one marine to break the stick SERIOUSLY WHAT THE F--- >>581037053 # then you have two stick stick win everytime Anonymous (ID: 554) 11/23/14(Sun)23:18.12 No.581037181581037370581037481 >>581039519

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Anon loves Velma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 34 KB JPG 08/08/15(Sat)06:54:47 No.633378377 >>633377556 # >be 10 >watching Scooby Door >tfw Velma's sexy >start stroking my d--- through the blanket >feelssogood.png >feel a volcano erupting in my loins >shout SCOOBY DOOBY DOO as I c-- >Start doing it on the reg >SCOOBY DOOBY DOO every time I c-- >Mom thinks I really like Scooby Doo >Mom buys me all seasons of Scooby Doo for Christmas

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Anon, I'm here | /r/Greentext

23 KB JPG > be me > first day as Redditfag > heard they're all smart > thought that I can learn something new from the comments > look at the top comment > 1.4k upvotes >it said "nice" >Idon'tgetit.jpeg >look at the second most upvoted comment > it said "nice" >look at the most downvoted comment >it said "nice" >mfw

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Cheeky Oyster Anon Correction Required | /r/Greentext

Need more cheeky mobs in upcoming games gotta reeducate them all >>2966762 # smell like fish in here.jfif.jpg 167 KB JPG : Anonymous >>2966744 # I want to f--- an oyster. 03/04/23(Sat)13:37:14 No.2966762

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Anon discovers South Park | /r/Greentext

Cartman you dumbass You know nothing about Women I know enough To exploit it 113 KB JPG > Be me, 20 > Discover South Park > Cartman is f------ funny > Can actually impersonate him pretty well too > Start bringing his mannerisms into my everyday life > Call "school" skewl, etc. > Women think its cute how i talk > Sympathy p---- cause they think im handicapped > Dont realise im impersonating a child > TFW you get more sex when talking like a 10 year old than you ever did before Why havent you taken the Cartman pill /b/?

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Anon gets his answer | /r/Greentext

File: 1AA163EE-370E-4567-B375-E(...).jpg (398 KB, 1920x914) The Invasion Of Taiwan Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)18:44:45 No.57813074 [Reply] >>57813146 Hypothetically, how would a Chinese invasion of Taiwan play out? Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)18:50:09 No.57813146 >>57813074 (OP) # Like me banging ur mom

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Harmless Little Prank | /r/Greentext

File: 1381193662080.jpg-(352 KB, 1750x2500, muscle-chest-adult-spiderman-costume.jpg) जै Anonymous 10/07/13 (Mon)19:54:22 UTC-5 No.509816450 >be me 18 yo college freshman >meet this awesome kid down hall, badass mohawk and s--- >his roommate is this p------------ hipster though >f----- black rimmed glasses and suede shoes and s--- >this kid is seriously why nobody will ever take the word "indie" seriously >spend whole year playing tricks on him and telling him "pranked" after seeing his reaction >innocent s--- like hiding bouncy balls in his stuff, covering his soap in glue, etc >one day hanging out in their room, decide to pull some hardcore s--- on his punk ass >decide to j------- into his shampoo, so when he showers he'll rub j--- into his hair >lock door >commence fapping > the room's at the end of the hall, so if i hear footsteps i know its him >hear him coming >ohshit.mov >commence panic fap mode >adrenaline extends my stamina, it's going to be a photo finish >hear him put his key into the door >facing away from the door, shampoo bottle in front of me, d--- in my hand >he sees me jerking it in the corner of the room >hear him yell "dude what the f--- right as I j--- >fine tuned combat instincts cause me to fling my handful of c-- right into his eyes >mfw i just spiderman'd my friend's a------ roommate >mfw when he is standing completely flabbergasted, and all I can think to say is "pranked"

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Anon takes himself to reality for his field trip. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 19 KB PNG 04/11/23(Tue)15:50:21 No.72914517 >Be kid in middle school >Field trip to someplace I can't remember >Sitting at the back of the bus with the other anti-social kids including my best friend at the time >Normies upfront play 'kiss, marry, kill' >Game eventually devolves into 'who would you rather date' >Not paying attention to the game and just chilling with my friend >Ears pop up when I hear my name >Oh s---.jpeg >Someone asks a girl I like, "Would you rather date anon or anon's friend" >She responds with, "If there was no one else left on earth, I would choose anon's friend >Further emphasizes that she would only pick him if there was no other person on earth >My friend and I try to laugh it off >Meanwhile my confidence is shattered as I realize I am at the very bottom of my school's attractiveness hierarchy

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femanon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 62 KB JPG : Anonymous 59 KB JPG >>72912814 # : Anonymous >>72912674 (OP) # Because I am 6'5" and I want a tall girl. >>72912814 # >f >6' : Anonymous >>72912696 # 04/11/23(Tue)23:39:03 No.72912674 ok? I am racist >115lb >high school drop out cause teachers are kiked >homeschooling since >only eat kosher so tell me anon, why should I marry you? 04/11/23(Tue)23:40:21 No.72912692 04/11/23(Tue)23:40:37 No.72912696 : Anonymous >>72912674 (OP) # Seems like we're forgetting something here OP ahem VIRGINITY STATUS Every woman is a 0/10 until her personality proves otherwise. The fact that you listed attributes and nothing about yourself says an awful lot. 04/11/23(Tue)23:41:47 No.72912710 04/11/23(Tue)23:48:44 No.72912814 I'm kind of a jew, not biologically, but in the way I do things, I guess it's because my dad was a big reckless spender and it scarred me I am stingy AF, I count my shekels to the cent and do double entry accounting my bowl is always shiny clean cause I lick it clean cause refuse to waste food blessed by God i don't like to communicate with people irl cause there's no money to be made, don't want unhealthy connection at all I will return the RTX5090 you ordered because it's a waste of money, no matter how much money you make >>72912710 # virgin

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All the world's a stage | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/28/23(Tue)13:59:09 No.14691891 _67617336_hi-its-god-here.jpg 70 KB JPG THE SAMUEL COURTAULD TRUST >God is all-knowing. >God therefore knows everything that will happen. >Humans therefore have no agency or moral responsibility. >God is basically watching a movie that he's spoiled for himself >God punishes/rewards the actors for something they had no control over W--? Who honestly believes this garbage?

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I hope you are happy with yourselves | /r/Greentext

We Deserve What Star Wars Has Become Star Wars is now all about reliving former glories instead of inventing new ones. It's what fans asked for, but they mic BY STACEY HENLEY PUBLISHED 23 HOURS AGO ›THEGAMER We Deserve What Star Wars Has Become Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)12:10:59 No.182869096 >>182869109 >>182869124>>182869576 >>182869778 >>182869878 >>182869885 182870200 >>182870211 >>182870246 >>182870308 >>182870367 >>182870391 >>182870399 >>182870485 >>182870522 >>182870824>>182870931 >>182871069 >>182871569 >>182871829 >>182872072 -182872316 >>182872813 >>182872922 >>182875122 >>182875207 >>182875242 >>182875390 >>182875461 >>182875905 >>182876251 >>182876454>>182877252 >>182877498 >>182877660 >>182878216 -182878537 >>182879823 ITS YOUR FAULT, /tv/! YOU did this! >You can't make money off the past. At least, not until you find a way to sell it into the future. Star Wars, in part thanks to the fact it's owned by Disney, is fully in the capitalist vortex of churning out every possible spin-off it can, chasing that sweet, sweet dollar. The part of this problem not directly caused by Disney is caused by the fact Star Wars' biggest creative leads were huge fans as kids, and are now recreating that, forever. Nothing new, just the stuff that blew their minds in the '80s. >This is where our own culpability comes into it. Culturally, we have shown ourselves to be good little piggies consuming content on demand. Though the superhero box office dominance is waning, we have supported the creation of spin-off after spin-off, universe after universe. About 476,923 new Star Wars projects were announced or discussed during the conference, and the vast majority were continuations, spin-offs, or old characters getting to ride again. Star Wars is failing to take advantage of the world's potential in order to appease YouTubers with stained shirts who think it's woke that Daisy Ridley's abs give them complex emotions. YOU are the consumer piggy, /tv/. Its not coropos fault. Its yours. https://www.thegamer.com/deserve-star-wars-celebration-mandalorian-spin-offs/

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Greentext Stories - Anon needs jewish solutions | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous WHEN THERE'S A LOT OF ASSIGNMENTS IN THIS WEEK 43 KB JPG 04/12/23(Wed)06:58:43 No.14882862 >be me >struggle with perfectionism and prioritisation of tasks >submit an assignment 40 minutes late last night >assignments submitted after 1 min after the deadline get marked down to a maximum of 50/100 >this assignment is worth 50% of my grade as well >email tutor >tutor says there is nothing they can do >lightbulb moment >email tutor again saying "I was interstate" >"this city has 1.5 hour time difference" >"that is why I messed up" >tutor says this sounds like a genuine reason, is happy to grade assignment normally >"as long as you can send some kind of evidence that you were interstate" >sweats What would you do in this situation? I'm thinking fake plane ticket email but just wondering if that could backfire. 6 Replies i need the most jewish of suggestions /his/ View Thread

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