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Anonymous (ID: KOLwjmNS ) 100 101 161 04/17/23 (Mon)14:41:04 No.423904740 1681766602698795.jpg 2.06 MB JPG **** >be the smartest black man alive >go to friend's house to pick him up >notice that the cars in the driveway are completely different than my friend's cars >huh that's strange >notice that the garage that is normally at the front of the house is now at the side of the house >huh that wasn't like that yesterday >notice that there are no trespassing signs everywhere >huh those weren't here before >notice all the lights in the house are off >huh well guess i better just walk in >*BANG* >F--- Y'ALL DO THAT FOR? Y'ALL RACIST!

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Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

>she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold 00 Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun > dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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Could this really work? | /r/Greentext

De-trans'd my daughter in 1 da(...) 151 KB JPG 12/22/22(Thu)16:53:56 No.409306658 >daughter says she's trans (9th grade) >wtfdo.jpeg >confess I'm trans too >she's confused >dad no you're not >stop being a bigot Charlotte, let's do this together >wear dress and makeup next morning >daughter is angry, tells me to stop faking >no, I'm trans honey. now get in the car and let's go to school >she's horrified, asks to be dropped off a block away >nope, walk her in, wave to front desk >she's fuming >wife can't stop laughing >pick up daughter, in skirt and heels. s----- makeup, glitter on cheeks. skip your to her and her friends >DAD STOP ITS NOT FUNNY >demand she use my pronouns, call her a bigot >next morning she's done with the whole trans thing, begs me to stop Is being trans now just the 90s version of goth? Definitely not cool when your parents do it. Lean into it and shame them out of it

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the fall of /b/ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 62 KB JPG delete 04/26/23(Wed)22:08:03 No.898264869 >open /b/ >p--- >racism >transphobia >conspiracies >finally find a decent thread >this thread has been pruned or you guys are so f------ boring and basic, this is the RANDOM board for f---'s sake

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Anon gets a harem | /r/Greentext

Anonymous University Harem 37 KB PNG 04/23/22(Sat)14:29:51 No.68341642 >Be accepted at Uni >File form for student residency >See "for the purpose of placing you, please check your gender:" >Male >Female >Non-binary >Check female, even tho that's not true >Apply for the female dorm >Get accepted >Be the only guy in the women's dorm >basically got my own personal harem >it's that simple

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>anyone doing bad in america is baiting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous This creature has adapted to the crushing pressure and oppressive darkness 04/26/23 (Wed)18:31:21 No.898250483 106 KB JPG >be me >have abscess tooth >horrible headache on same side of tooth >cant afford $150 to remove it >my medical insurance doesnt cover emergency dental >dont even have time to get to a dentist anyway because i get no days off >can't save money because living paycheck to paycheck >can't find a new job because theres literally no f------ time so how the f--- do i stop an abscessed tooth from going to my brain god bless america 04/26/23(Wed)18:54:47 No.898251335 : Anonymous >>898250483 (OP) # Go to the emergency room you f------ retard they'll remove it. Every American has insurance. You either are under the affordable care act or medicare / medicaid / private insuarance

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Take the slugpill Anon | /r/Greentext

04/26/23 (Wed) 20:01:09 No.73103150 >You will never be a real slug. I know the idea of gliding effortlessly, leaving a slimy trail behind, and having no worries may seem appealing to you. But the harsh reality is that no matter how much you try, you will never truly be a slug. Sure, you can cover yourself in slime, crawl on the ground, and munch on leaves, but that won't change the fact that you are a human being. You possess hands, feet, and a complex brain. Slugs don't have any of that; they are just a squishy mass of flesh that slithers around. 232 KB JPG : Anonymous

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Anon lost his pen | /r/Greentext

(OP) >>898278050 >in 3rd grade >wake up like a half hour early one day >try and fail to go back to sleep >get bored >start playing with my butt >feels pretty nice >wanna go deeper >yellow pen on the bedside table >start doing my butt with yellow pen >go as deep as I can before pulling out to do it again >repeat many times >finger fumbles the pen at its deepest >spend the next ten minutes frantically trying to pull pen out of my butt >fail >time to get up for school >envision the pen doing all sorts of horrible things to my butt throughout the day >get home >go to bathroom >force myself to s--- >butter knife in hand explore that s--- in depth >nopen.exe To this day I have no idea where that pen went. I must have s--- it out, but I never managed to find it when I did. 2 replies

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What do you think about ho*flation? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: mEfbuikU Modern w----- couldn't possibl(...) 06/28/22(Tue)16:18:40 No.384368717 675 KB JPG Modern men have to work 5x harder than their grandfathers did for women 20x worse than what their grandmothers were. Its called hoeflation, and its destroying western men's desires to be providers and protectors.

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who is he? does he know? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 273 KB JPG 04/26/23(Wed)11:34:08 No.181054891 >Gets elected >US immediately loses war in Afghanistan >Russia invades Ukraine >China openly sends spy balloons over American cities >Ethiopia collapses >Sudan breaks into civil war >China about to invade Taiwan and India >American society completely collapsed, national divorce on everyone's lips >WW3 is a mainstream topic and widely seen as an inevitability Unironically how did he f--- up this bad in 3 years? Is he the horseman of War or something?

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Anon gets drafted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 439 KB GIF 04/20/23(Thu)10:00:58 No.180788825 I've got draft paper in the mail 04/20/23(Thu)10:02:33 No.180788885 Anonymous >>180788825 (OP) # you're gonna play in the NBA? >>180789021 # >>180789110 # >>180789553 # >>180790185 # >>180792132 # >>180792635 # >>180792809 # 04/20/23(Thu)10:08:08 No.180789110 Anonymous >>180788885 # yeah, the Next Bakhmut Assault >>180789553 # >>180790000 # >>180791804 # >>180791847 #

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Anon has low T count | /r/Greentext

The Benefits of Optimal Testosterone Confident Sharper, Mind Happy Increased Muscle Mass Healthy Heart Strong Erections & Healthy Libido Strong Bones Plenty of Energy Man with Optimal Testosterone Constant Fatigue Depressed Increased Fat Tissue Increased. Risk of ED & Low Libido Increased Risk of Alzheimer's Disease MANLINESS Increased Risk of Osteoporosis Man with Deficient Testosterone DjxHxUDUYAAhz5G.jpg 206 KB JPG >unironically what no p---- does to you on the right This is why men are dropping out of the workforce, smoking weed, living in their parent's basements, etc.

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What do you think about this? Haha | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: VSAKONbj) 04/25/23(Tue)06:09:47 No.424770559 >>424770273 (OP) # Women have literally never been worth less yet also have never expected more. >can't cook >can't clean >needs machines to do any housework at all >no sense of responsibility >wouldn't sacrifice two vacations a year for children >will abandon her man at the slightest hint of economic hardship Compare them to women of 100+ years ago and they fall short in every single metric, by a vast margin. Yet their expectations in men were much more realistic as well. >>424774349 # >>424776254 # >>424776790 # >>424778806 #

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Anon gets a compliment from a girl for the first time in his life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous A girl called me handsome for (...) 510 KB PNG 04/26/23(Wed)19:43:25 No.73102313 >be me >fat my whole life >get bullied for it relentlessly >girls openly talk about how disgusting I am >miss out on teen love, never have a relationship and eventually lose vcard to prostitute >eventually decided to finally lose weight and start working out at age 20 >2 years pass >no longer a fat f--- >descent muscle mass and my face is no longer like that of a chubby kid >decided to go out with a old friend after a long time of isolation >meet girls >have a nice conversation with a cute redhead >she calls me handsome >freeze.jpg >cant move, cant talk, just stare at her >"is everything okay anon" >she goes to get a glass of water >leave the party and go home >been thinking about it the last few days This was the first time in my life a woman other than my grandma and mom called me handsome bros and I messed it up. I hate being autistic and not knowing what to do in these situations. It was also a massive shock to me desu. Girls being attracted to me is something I declared as unrealistic when I was age 12 and so I just gave up early on. This is all very confusing to me bros idk how to handle my own emotions and the way I view myself right now

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Greentext Stories - Average greentext | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous (ID: KOLwjmNS ) 100 101 161 04/17/23 (Mon)14:41:04 No.423904740 1681766602698795.jpg 2.06 MB JPG **** >be the smartest black man alive >go to friend's house to pick him up >notice that the cars in the driveway are completely different than my friend's cars >huh that's strange >notice that the garage that is normally at the front of the house is now at the side of the house >huh that wasn't like that yesterday >notice that there are no trespassing signs everywhere >huh those weren't here before >notice all the lights in the house are off >huh well guess i better just walk in >*BANG* >F--- Y'ALL DO THAT FOR? Y'ALL RACIST!

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