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(OP) >>898278050 >in 3rd grade >wake up like a half hour early one day >try and fail to go back to sleep >get bored >start playing with my butt >feels pretty nice >wanna go deeper >yellow pen on the bedside table >start doing my butt with yellow pen >go as deep as I can before pulling out to do it again >repeat many times >finger fumbles the pen at its deepest >spend the next ten minutes frantically trying to pull pen out of my butt >fail >time to get up for school >envision the pen doing all sorts of horrible things to my butt throughout the day >get home >go to bathroom >force myself to s--- >butter knife in hand explore that s--- in depth >nopen.exe To this day I have no idea where that pen went. I must have s--- it out, but I never managed to find it when I did. 2 replies

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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What do you think about ho*flation? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: mEfbuikU Modern w----- couldn't possibl(...) 06/28/22(Tue)16:18:40 No.384368717 675 KB JPG Modern men have to work 5x harder than their grandfathers did for women 20x worse than what their grandmothers were. Its called hoeflation, and its destroying western men's desires to be providers and protectors.

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who is he? does he know? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 273 KB JPG 04/26/23(Wed)11:34:08 No.181054891 >Gets elected >US immediately loses war in Afghanistan >Russia invades Ukraine >China openly sends spy balloons over American cities >Ethiopia collapses >Sudan breaks into civil war >China about to invade Taiwan and India >American society completely collapsed, national divorce on everyone's lips >WW3 is a mainstream topic and widely seen as an inevitability Unironically how did he f--- up this bad in 3 years? Is he the horseman of War or something?

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Anon gets drafted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 439 KB GIF 04/20/23(Thu)10:00:58 No.180788825 I've got draft paper in the mail 04/20/23(Thu)10:02:33 No.180788885 Anonymous >>180788825 (OP) # you're gonna play in the NBA? >>180789021 # >>180789110 # >>180789553 # >>180790185 # >>180792132 # >>180792635 # >>180792809 # 04/20/23(Thu)10:08:08 No.180789110 Anonymous >>180788885 # yeah, the Next Bakhmut Assault >>180789553 # >>180790000 # >>180791804 # >>180791847 #

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Anon has low T count | /r/Greentext

The Benefits of Optimal Testosterone Confident Sharper, Mind Happy Increased Muscle Mass Healthy Heart Strong Erections & Healthy Libido Strong Bones Plenty of Energy Man with Optimal Testosterone Constant Fatigue Depressed Increased Fat Tissue Increased. Risk of ED & Low Libido Increased Risk of Alzheimer's Disease MANLINESS Increased Risk of Osteoporosis Man with Deficient Testosterone DjxHxUDUYAAhz5G.jpg 206 KB JPG >unironically what no p---- does to you on the right This is why men are dropping out of the workforce, smoking weed, living in their parent's basements, etc.

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What do you think about this? Haha | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: VSAKONbj) 04/25/23(Tue)06:09:47 No.424770559 >>424770273 (OP) # Women have literally never been worth less yet also have never expected more. >can't cook >can't clean >needs machines to do any housework at all >no sense of responsibility >wouldn't sacrifice two vacations a year for children >will abandon her man at the slightest hint of economic hardship Compare them to women of 100+ years ago and they fall short in every single metric, by a vast margin. Yet their expectations in men were much more realistic as well. >>424774349 # >>424776254 # >>424776790 # >>424778806 #

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Anon gets a compliment from a girl for the first time in his life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous A girl called me handsome for (...) 510 KB PNG 04/26/23(Wed)19:43:25 No.73102313 >be me >fat my whole life >get bullied for it relentlessly >girls openly talk about how disgusting I am >miss out on teen love, never have a relationship and eventually lose vcard to prostitute >eventually decided to finally lose weight and start working out at age 20 >2 years pass >no longer a fat f--- >descent muscle mass and my face is no longer like that of a chubby kid >decided to go out with a old friend after a long time of isolation >meet girls >have a nice conversation with a cute redhead >she calls me handsome >freeze.jpg >cant move, cant talk, just stare at her >"is everything okay anon" >she goes to get a glass of water >leave the party and go home >been thinking about it the last few days This was the first time in my life a woman other than my grandma and mom called me handsome bros and I messed it up. I hate being autistic and not knowing what to do in these situations. It was also a massive shock to me desu. Girls being attracted to me is something I declared as unrealistic when I was age 12 and so I just gave up early on. This is all very confusing to me bros idk how to handle my own emotions and the way I view myself right now

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Uhh uh, anon has found a soulmate? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 156 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous 04/26/23(Wed)21:12:51 No.898257543 P--- has ruined women's minds 220 KB JPG >be me >college >get lucky after years of dry spell >girl regrets it >says I remind her of her brother >end up f------ like 3 or 4 more times View Thread 04/26/23(Wed)21:17:59 No.898257720 Yes! it's the p---!

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Sound advice from two fellow anons to another anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB JPG Anonymous and behind" >her tone of voice changed when she said it >was this a Freudian slip? 101 KB JPG >>70752394 # Anonymous Anonymous 04/26/23(Wed)11:13:19 No.70752354 kill yourself >been going to the gym for a couple months >keeping seeing my mom staring at my gains >didn't put my plate in the dishwasher >"you keep f------ me from front 04/26/23(Wed)11:16:40 No.70752370 >>70752354 (OP) # f--- your mom 04/26/23(Wed)11:21:03 No.70752394 04/26/23(Wed)11:23:11 No.70752403

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Anon becomes a feminist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/23(Wed)17:22:45 No.898265495 Testicular injuries in women's sports: 900 1920 1940 1960 1980 2000 2020 IMG_1451.jpg 25 KB JPG >biblical type of sudden surge in a new health crisis for women >not even a single news article Society only gives a s--- when men are affected. F--- the patriarchy

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Anon is a redditard | /r/Greentext

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Anon can't comprehend shooter's motive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: n+ImNBgh) Boomer kills nerdy white teen'(...) 04/19/23(Wed) 23:01:15 No.424121357 'I tried to step on the gas as fast as I could': Boyfriend, 19, describes terror as Upstate NY homeowner opened fire with 12-gauge shotgun and killed his girlfriend after they pulled into wrong driveway 26AE2E91-BE3C-40EA-9A64-114AEE868E8F.jpg 196 KB JPG >white teen couple pull up in your driveway and look lost >immediately shoot at them What the f---. If she had a nog bf I could understand but why be so trigger happy over a nerdy white kid with his shy white gf? : Anonymous (ID: Hn2ae3qE) DRIVEWAY 04/19/23 (Wed)23:03:00 No.424121530 >>424121357 (OP) # >If she had a nog bf I could understand but why be so trigger happy over a nerdy white kid with his shy white gf? This. Why did this f----- shoot her. >>424122416 # >>424122839 # >>424123263 # >>424124243 # >>424124425 # >>424125685 # >>424126556 # >>424126962 # >>424128539 # >>424129014 # >>424129939 # >>424131977 # : Anonymous (ID: DwY4KGLO) I 04/19/23(Wed)23:03:54 No.424121613 >>424121357 (OP) # >clearly trespass on someone's property >get shot for it >"WAAAAA MY GIRLFRIEND WAAAAA GUNS BAD" OP should've died too. How was the home owner supposed to know it wasn't MS13? >>424121758 # >>424122251 # >>424122814 # >>424129297 # : Anonymous (ID: T3bVpWA2) 04/19/23 (Wed)23:04:47 No.424121704 >>424121357 (OP) # if it already isnt obvious, we live in an atomized and paranoid society, something you can thank the intelligence community for starting well before allowing 9/11 to happen >>424121889 # >>424122228 # >>424122814 # >>424123933 # : Anonymous (ID: WedC9JTI) = 04/19/23(Wed) 23:05:01 No.424121727 >>424121357 (OP) # Well, maybe they couldn't read the no trespassing sign. Public school education

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Anon got play | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 226 KB PNG 10/29/19(Tue)11:56:32 No.812880297 > held hands > hugged > slept together > confessed a lot to each others > did not kissed or f----- yet but that's not necessarily what I'm looking for > "I see you as a friend" what the hell woman

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Greentext Stories - Anon lost his pen | /r/Greentext

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(OP) >>898278050 >in 3rd grade >wake up like a half hour early one day >try and fail to go back to sleep >get bored >start playing with my butt >feels pretty nice >wanna go deeper >yellow pen on the bedside table >start doing my butt with yellow pen >go as deep as I can before pulling out to do it again >repeat many times >finger fumbles the pen at its deepest >spend the next ten minutes frantically trying to pull pen out of my butt >fail >time to get up for school >envision the pen doing all sorts of horrible things to my butt throughout the day >get home >go to bathroom >force myself to s--- >butter knife in hand explore that s--- in depth >nopen.exe To this day I have no idea where that pen went. I must have s--- it out, but I never managed to find it when I did. 2 replies

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