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File: 1603945685725.jpg (26 KB, 540x504) << Anonymous 05/01/23 (Mon)22:19:33 No.73170849► >>73170870 >>73170896 Does the perfect woman even exist? I'm sick and tired of not being able to find the perfect woman who: >Thinks rationally like a man >Not overweight >Politically active >Muscular and lean body >Wants to support a family and be tradwife >Submissive >Nice ass and small t--- >Has a c--- >Won't nag me all the time How f------ impossible are these standards? Am I doomed? Anonymous 05/01/23 (Mon)22:21:27 No.73170870 >>73170849 (OP) >like a man □ Anonymous 05/01/23 (Mon)22:23:28 No.73170896 File: 1671288934707.jpg (254 KB, 1053x890) >>73170849 (OP) >perfect woman >Has a c--- >Has a c--- There are a ton of t----- tradlarpers, they're practically the default. Something does not add up. If he has c---, that is man. You can't have woman with c--- you imbecile.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

>she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold 00 Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun > dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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A.I. Replacement Greentext | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous A.I. Replacement greentext thr(...) 05/02/23(Tue)14:55:07 No.93164225 >Be successfully making good money in high level copywriting >GPT makes me irrelevant in 1 month or less >Lose job >Move in with my friends, get job 84 KB JPG wage slaving at a restaurant to make ends meet in the meantime. >Post about it online, ask for advice >Everyone screeches GeT Good, bRo! lEaRn NeW SkiLLs. PIVOT!!1! >spend 6 months of free time and $5,000 learning NewSkill at school for future work in an unrelated industry. >Graduate from program, excited to try something new. >Use GPT to market my skills online >Apply for jobs using GPT generated resume >Get interview >Job offer accepted! Finally able to get my life back on track. >Get call next day from new boss, sorry we aren't hiring for this position anymore. >DrinkingHeavily.jpeg >Drunkenly go online to order pizza. Google tells me GPT-NewSkill was just released, covering all the skills I just took 6 months to learn, and it has a gyrating dildo attached to pleasure the user at the same time. >Post about it on Reddit. >BrO JUST PIVOT. LeArN to SuCK C--- BetTeR ThAn GpT!!!1! >MFW

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Anon has a screw loose... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 57 KB JPG >happened like 20 minutes ago >stay up all night doing schoolwork and s--- 04/20/20(Mon )09:27:50 No.57754465 >whenever i go a full night with no sleep i feel really anxious and paranoid >sitting in living room >drinking water >brain waves flatline >forget i have to swallow the water >open my mouth and all the water falls out >hits my lap >cold as f--- >scares the f--- out of me >piss myself >see my dad standing there, he watched the whole thing >realize i p----- myself >run to my room what my dad saw: >take a sip of water >spit it out >look over at him >sprint upstairs i think im retarded

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Anon gets his heart broken | /r/Greentext

1.61 MB JPG do you guys like my guinea pig : Anonymous >>3987437 (OP) # I like the guinea pig but hate you. >>3987528 # >>3991621 # : Anonymous >>3987453 # Why 11/23/21(Tue)21:05:06 No.3987453 11/23/21(Tue)23:00:41 No.3987528

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Anon talks about possums | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: wfjXuloe 05/01/23 (Mon)13:31:54 No.425492151 >>425489073 Possums aren't sweethearts, they're giant rats. >angry >violent >greedy >so profoundly lazy they would rather roll over and die than run or fight a predator >terroritorial >meandering >fat >ugly >trasheating I relate to them so much. I love possums.

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Anon gets bit | /r/Greentext

African village terrorised by gay baboon who recently r---- 5 men DOOGBE >be me >finally muster up the courage to ask my crush out on a date 57 KB JPG >decide to take her to a fancy restaurant to impress her >we're having a great time until suddenly we hear a loud noise from above >a raccoon drops down from the ceiling, hissing and foaming at the mouth >people are screaming and running in every direction, but my date and I freeze in fear >the raccoon charges at us and I try to defend her, but it's no use >it bites me on the arm and I feel an involuntary bowel movement >my date is horrified and starts to panic >we manage to escape to the bathroom, but it's too late for me >I sit there in embarrassment, I hear a commotion outside >turns out the police have been called and are in a standoff with the raccoon >more involuntary bowel movements >I'm still stuck in the bathroom, wondering how I'm going to explain the mess >eventually, the police manage to catch the raccoon and it's all over but the damage has been done >the cops manage to catch the raccoon, but not before it bites a few people >they also notice the mess in the bathroom and accuse me of public indecency >I try to explain the situation, but they don't believe me >my date is traumatized and I'm humiliated >I try to apologize and explain, but she's having none of it >she leaves the restaurant in a hurry and I'm left sitting there, feeling like a complete idiot lesson learned, always be prepared for unexpected situations and never underestimate the power of a wild animal.

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Anons first momery | /r/Greentext

File: Sun Baby_Intro.PNG.png (572 KB, 1024x576) >pic rel >my mom leans over and playfully says >"that's you, you're a little baby" >perfectly understand >tfw my first memory was of watching tv First memory thread Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)00:46:05 No.898548812>>898548987 >>898549210 >>898549353 >>898549359 >>898549801 >be me >in diapers >maybe 2 yrs old >in bouncer in front of TV >the teletubbies baby sun is rising and the intro is playing

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anon misses his friend, plays 40k to remember him (sorry if repost) | /r/Greentext

16 KB PNG >Me and childhood friend get into warhammer together when we were 10 >Friend gets Dark Angels and i get IG >Played alot of 2vs2 games and he would always deepstrike his deathwing to protect my artillery >Painted models to look like us >Friend died from cancer 5 years ago and left all of his warhammer stuff to me >Always bring an allied detachment of dark angels deathwing now >Always have them deepstrike to protect my basilisks >Have won me many games including one where the model representing my friend rolled four sixes in melee and slaughtered a daemon prince >His models always seem to roll well It hurts, Anons.

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Anon figured out philosophy | /r/Greentext

TE Philosophy is so easy Anonymous 05/01/23(Mon)23:01:32 No.898543293 >>898543394 >be me >think >am I think I got this philosophy stuff figured out pretty well /b/ros □ Anonymous 05/01/23(Mon)23:02:37 No.898543348 909512210

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Anon requests for a hug | /r/Greentext

Minza >go to hug mum >she dabs on me instead mummy no

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All Women are the same | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/23 (Mon)14:07:06 No.28866843 52739.jpg 3.58 MB JPG >put a roof under her head >feed her the best quality food >pour her the purest water straight from a new Mountain Valley Spring bottle >take her to the best veterinarian in the City >buy her any toy she wants to keep her entertained >treat her like a queen >respect her privacy >TFW I'm basically her paypig >in return; she hisses at me for causing any minor inconvenience >bites me if i touched her in some way >doesn't respect my personal space, >won't sit on my lap >probably sees the neighbor's cat behind my back

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Anon tries to understand magnets and fails | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 55 KB JPG 06/06/21(Sun)21:58:34 No.13245981 EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE MAGNETIC FORCE IS PERPENDICULAR TO THE MAGNETIC FIELD OR I WILL F------ KILL YOU. DON'T DUMB IT DOWN OR I WILL KILL YOU. IF YOU SAY F = qu x B WITHOUT EXPLAINING WHY, I WILL F------ KILL YOU.

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Anon gets angry | /r/Greentext

File: images (1).jpg (17 KB, 443x332) Anonymous 07/01/18(Sun)18:12:56 No. 1936758319369514>>19369519>>1936954619370017 >>19371950 >>19374860 >>19375705 >>1937695919376965 >>19377345 >>19377486 >>19377719 >>19378394>>19379416 >>19380096 >>19380665 How f------ poor are you? >pic related, the same car as my shitmobile Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)01:23:27 No. 19374930193771531937725619377332 >>19377421 >>19379244>>19380709 I have a 1998 Dodge Caravan that I paid $200 for. Smog check and all. It ranks an easy 8/10 on the hooptie scale and constantly attracts cops. There is no ac, the ignition key is different from the door key, it didn't have an oil change for over 16000 miles before I bought it and the odometer glitches out losing miles randomly. Also the horn broke so I bought a handheld airhorn. Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)12:30:09 No. 1937715319377283 >>19378278 >>19374930 >Also the horn broke so I bought a handheld airhorn F------ Imao. Imagine this. >> Anonymous 07/02/18(Mon)03:26:19 No. 19369514>>19380719 >>19380870 File: 1526761364722.jpg (54 KB, 793x786) Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)12:48:18 No. 1937725 >>19378278 >>19374930 >handheld airhorn Thanks man, I needed a good chuckle today Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue) 12:53:39 No. 19377283 ► >>19377153 please tell me when using it you don't just blast it but instead do the "frr frr frcccccccccer™ Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)16:27:34 No. 19378278 >>19378339>>19378366 >>19379222 >>19380026 >>19380709 File: 20180703_162317.jpg (934 KB, 2560x1536) Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue) 16:29:28 No. 19378287 >>19378339 File: 20180703_162356.jpg (861 KB, 2560x1536) >handheld airhorn >>19377256 >>19377153 >>19377256 I'm serious. I've used it in anger too. Only problem is having to manually roll the window down first. Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue) 16:42:55 No. 19378339 >>19378278 >>19378287 Godspeed you crazy bastard SANDWICH ANARCHY COD Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)16:49:15 No.19378366 19378437 >>19378278 >pijamas >dirty ass carpet >dirty ass dashboard >bottle caps >radio with no cover 402005 And a picture of the copmagnet 2000 from outside. Also known as "Big D". >lots of coins >weird carpet thing over the dash in the passenger's side >weird part thing in the passenger's footwell >super start power pack >Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)19:57:13 No. 19379222 ► File: 1528188652155.jpg (13 KB, 286x168) RADICAL >>19367583 (OP) I ride a bicycle. manually roll the window down first. >>19378278 Dis n---- so f----- up it went full circle and he got errything figured out. Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)20:11:59 No. 19379291 ► Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)13:05:54 No. 19377332 ► >>19379244 I have actually done that. Only when rolling with the window down though. >>19374930 Somebody should visualize this Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)13:23:59 No. 19377421 File: 1530389809908.jpg (283 KB, 900x885) I've used it in anger too. >>19374930 I love you man Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)20:02:18 No. 19379244>>19379291 >>19374930 >handheld airhorn my sides are in orbit m. Imagine cutting this dude off and he sticks his arm out the window and blows a handheld airhom at you FRO used it in anger Only when rolling with the window down though. Fr Frr FRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRR! Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)23:04:05 No. 19380026 ► >>19378278 > The memes are real. I... need a screencap of this. Anyone? Anonymous 07/04/18 (Wed)01:11:10 No. 19380439 19380557 >>19374869 >driving american Anonymous 07/04/18(Wed)02:01:47 No. 19380557► >>19380439 Hey the f----- with the Caravan and airhorn is doing it right.

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Greentext Stories - Anon wants a perfect woman | /r/Greentext

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File: 1603945685725.jpg (26 KB, 540x504) << Anonymous 05/01/23 (Mon)22:19:33 No.73170849► >>73170870 >>73170896 Does the perfect woman even exist? I'm sick and tired of not being able to find the perfect woman who: >Thinks rationally like a man >Not overweight >Politically active >Muscular and lean body >Wants to support a family and be tradwife >Submissive >Nice ass and small t--- >Has a c--- >Won't nag me all the time How f------ impossible are these standards? Am I doomed? Anonymous 05/01/23 (Mon)22:21:27 No.73170870 >>73170849 (OP) >like a man □ Anonymous 05/01/23 (Mon)22:23:28 No.73170896 File: 1671288934707.jpg (254 KB, 1053x890) >>73170849 (OP) >perfect woman >Has a c--- >Has a c--- There are a ton of t----- tradlarpers, they're practically the default. Something does not add up. If he has c---, that is man. You can't have woman with c--- you imbecile.

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