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AI T #1, No. 73565963 6/4/23 10:58:52 PM sad looie PNG 790x624 813.7 kB >be me >just got back from vacation >work tomorrow Monaday morning >exhausted >go to sleep >bird singing wakes me up >birds normally start singing between 4 and 6 in the morning >OH S--- AMI LATE >DID I OVER SLEEP? >look at clock >not even midnight >bird is singing at incorrect time I panicked over a bird having autism >want to shoot bird from tree >can't because I live in suburbs #2, No. 73566142 6/4/23 11:28:31 PM tumblr_pjfyw0YeD21 ujlc7oo1_1280 PNG 1224x1632 2.6 MB >be me >be bird >nervous about singing ability because autism >practice at midnight when everybody's asleep to conquer shyness >schizo human yells at me for waking him up I just wanted to practice my singing for the ladies >s--- on his car tomorrow as a surprise before work

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Resolution: (1079px x 1731px)

File size: 571 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon made it | /r/Greentext

>be an autistic incel >start visiting prostitutes >after the tenth or so visit I have become completely comfortable being around women, flirting with them and being touched by them (which used to freak me out) >end up finding a gf Why are prostitutes bad again?

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Anon misses the early 2000s | /r/Greentext

File: Owen-Wilson-Reveals-What-(...).jpg (2.98 MB, 1659x2000) □ Anonymous 06/05/23(Mon)08:44:07 No.185973798 [Reply] ► >watching 2000s comedy >broke slacker character constantly sleeps with beautiful women I miss this archetype

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Anon´s name is Sh*niqua | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/03/23(Sat)20:10:24 No.73551532 ✓ >>73551541 >>73551619 >>73551653 >>73551707 >>73551826 >>73552061 >>73552289 1 8 >>73551521 (OP) i'm not telling you my name, f-----. lol but it is a good name. probably the best name too. i should start asking people to guess my name, because i don't think i look like my name, thoughever 8 Anonymous 06/03/23(Sat)20:11:48 No.73551541 >>73551576 >>73551849 >>73551532 Shut up, Shaniqua. Anonymous Anonymous 06/03/23(Sat)20:18:56 No.73551619 ✓ >>73551626 >>73551849 Anonymous 8 Anonymous 06/03/23(Sat)20:22:24 No.73551653 ✓ >>73551666 >>73551849 >>73551532 Nobody f------ cares shaniqua >>73551532 kill yourself shaniqua we're sick to death of you Anonymous Anonymous 06/03/23(Sat)20:29:13 No.73551707 >>73551532 Lol is your name really shaniqua? That is so god damn ugly. You are so f------ ugly >73551820 >>73551849 Anonymous Anonymous 06/03/23(Sat)20:44:35 No.73551826 >>73551849 >>73551532 ooooh, I wanna guess your name. Is it Shaniqua?

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Anon feels a watery sensation up his butt | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)18:41:17 No. 182809413 [Reply] ► >>182811226 >>182810733 >installed a toilet bidet >hooks up straight to the pipeage >drop my pants >test it out even though i dont need to poo >try out first level >"hmm ok" >turn the pressure up by one >"hey this is pretty good" >switch it to max setting >penetrates my a------ >watery s--- comes out for the next 10 seconds non stop >am still butt hurt two hours after >can feel my a------ not puckering >feel like i could s--- myself even at the slightest of farts w-- /int/ told me these things were good for you? Showing all replies

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Anon has a unhealthy relationship with alcohol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What is your relationship with (...) 24 KB JPG 06/05/23 (Mon) 07:39:30 No.73565837 >Be me >Semi-alcoholic >Contract a stomach flu (viral gastroenteritis) >Diarrhea, cramps, headache and light headedness >Decide to get drunk on beer anyway >Start drinking at normal pace >Have to poop real bad >Poop out liquid poop >Discover my body is expelling liquid from binge drinking beer through diarrhea instead of urinating a lot like normal >A------ become irritated from pooping and wiping like 10 times I'm thinking this isn't a healthy relationship.

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 100 KB PNG >Kiss her. >She aggressively pulls me in and kisses me, we make out for about a minute. >She sits there in silence. >Says "That was really unpleasant, can you just take me home?" >Fall for a girl. >Go on a date with her. Dude what the f---? : Anonymous 09/24/21 (Fri)08:25:37 No.863709057 >Drink a six pack, sitting on my car. >She takes off her glasses and tells me to kiss her. 5 Replies / 2 Images 9 KB PNG View Thread 09/24/21(Fri)08:44:37 No.863709798 >>863709057 (OP) #

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Anon,is it really your fault? | /r/Greentext

File: SoyjakPointing.png (82 KB, 760x792) Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)07:47:26 No.73555447 >>73555450 >>73555475 >>73555513 >>73555599 >>73555795 >>73555854 >>73555931 >>73556092 >>73556227 >>73556318 >>73556694 >>73557064 >>73557829 >Everything wrong with your life is YOUR FAULT!!! True or false? >> Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)07:48:18 No.73555450▶ >>73556168 >>73556613 >>73555447 (OP) True. We can choose how to react to the circumstances we find ourselves in tomado occurred >> Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)07:51:21 No.73555475 ► >>73555447 (OP) You need two to tango. Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)09:28:01 No.73556091 File: 1671447330373779.png (101 KB, 640x640) >walking to work >get rained on >it's my fault that it rained Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)09:39:01 No.73556194 File: 1392867862220.png (10 KB, 500x500) Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)09:44:58 No.73556244 File: 1398239465380.jpg (23 KB, 446x362) >be driving home from work >car in front of me hits a pothole and loses control of vehicle >swerve out of the way but hit the guard rail >it's my fault the pothole was there O Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)09:34:27 No.73556153 File: 753219496.png (20 KB, 638x547) >be watching TV >random tornado comes out of nowhere >wrecks home, leaving it demolished >it's my fault the >be driving >sudden sinkhole >car gets caught in it >it's my fault the sinkhole appeared O Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)09:35:50 No.73556165 File: 1385902817792.png (12 KB, 400x400) >be stargazing >satellite falls from sky >it hits my home and kills entire family >it is my fault the satellite fell from the sky formed Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)09:42:56 No.73556223 File: 1398233503906.jpg (6 KB, 250x197) >be sitting him >sudden lightning storm develops without waming >lightning bolt hits the house and sets it on fire >it's all my fault the storm FU Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)09:41:14 No.73556215 >be sitting on my day off from work >undiscovered meteor lands in the middle of the ocean >creates a tsunami that will swallow most of the coast >it's my fault the meteor hit the planey Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)12:48:34 No.73558243 File: 31ruA1PYZ9L.jpg (15 KB, 368x500) >Be minding business at home on March 30,2017. >Basically has no idea about Club Penguin. >Club Penguin is kill. >It's my fault that Club Penguin shut down.

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Femanon has a Reddit moderator boyfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.08 MB PNG 06/05/23 (Mon)10:44:14 No.73566850 > be me > femanon living with a neckbeard bf > my bf wont ever leave the house > never wants to be public with me > sits all day on his computer > Ask him whats so important > Im working all day long give me break femanon > he is a Reddit moderator and calls it work > we are currently running out of money and this has a toll on my mental health > I write my feelings down and send it to him, maybe he will understand. > left on read Am I cursed? It has gone 4 hours since he left me on read.

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Anon seems to have morals?.. | /r/Greentext

>17 year old little sister and her cute friend are having a weekend long sleepover >Little sister gone out to buy some stuff, her friend's sleeping >I could easily r--- her friend at any moment but I'm not it's so hard bros why am i such a moralfag 139 KB JPG : Anonymous >parents out for a week on vacation 90 KB JPG 06/10/19(Mon)21:55:24 No.52849926 >>52849891 (OP) # why don't you just try flirting instead

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Anon have to guess the gender | /r/Greentext

>meet girl on website >she tells me how she isnt a girl >uh are you a trans or something? >no, im not a boy either >what are you then? 37 KB JPG >im not telling, you have to guess >mentally ill? >she instantly blocks me Felt good man. >>17578488 # >>17578540 # >>17578603 # >>17578622 # >>17578670 #

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 32 KB JPG 04/23/21(Fri)03:17:05 No.63340724 >be me >decide to do a little trolling >register in a gay forum >ask for a hookup >a f-- sends me a message asking for my address >i give him the address of a random girl from my class >other f-- forum, other attempt >I ask for a hookup again >someone answers me, we chat a bit and we agree to meet >I tell him Im under 18 >he says he doesnt care and that I shouldnt tell anyone >we meet >Me and a friend already wait for him and beat the f--- out of this f-- >next f-- >send him to another city 200km away >after a few hours I get an angry message that hes been standing in front of the address I gave him for hours and nobodys letting him inside, calls me a coward, too shy to meet up and a "keyboard wanker"

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Anon learning to skate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 28 KB JPEG 04/06/2023, 21:47:49 No.94371069 > be me > at the skatepark > practising my popshuv its > some pros roll up > casually lands kickflip back smith first try > i try to give a fist bump > guy doesn't realize > i land one popshuv after some failures > leave the park

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Greentext Stories - Anon is a sleepcel seething over a birdchad | /r/Greentext

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AI T #1, No. 73565963 6/4/23 10:58:52 PM sad looie PNG 790x624 813.7 kB >be me >just got back from vacation >work tomorrow Monaday morning >exhausted >go to sleep >bird singing wakes me up >birds normally start singing between 4 and 6 in the morning >OH S--- AMI LATE >DID I OVER SLEEP? >look at clock >not even midnight >bird is singing at incorrect time I panicked over a bird having autism >want to shoot bird from tree >can't because I live in suburbs #2, No. 73566142 6/4/23 11:28:31 PM tumblr_pjfyw0YeD21 ujlc7oo1_1280 PNG 1224x1632 2.6 MB >be me >be bird >nervous about singing ability because autism >practice at midnight when everybody's asleep to conquer shyness >schizo human yells at me for waking him up I just wanted to practice my singing for the ladies >s--- on his car tomorrow as a surprise before work

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