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Greentext Stories - Anon is eating bedbugs | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 60 KB PNG 06/07/23(Wed)19:23:48 No.73592669 > Be me > Living in a cheap apartment in Illinois > Money is tight, can't afford a better place > One night, feeling itchy as hell > Discover that my bed is infested with bedbugs > Panic.exe > Start researching ways to get rid of them > Find some crazy remedies online > One suggestion says eating bedbugs can make them go away because it releases a special scent > Desperate times call for desperate measures > Decide to give it a try > Grab a spoon and start scooping up those tiny demons > Crunching and munching like a madman > The taste is horrendous, like a mix of old socks and pickle juice > Tears streaming down my face, but I keep going > Eat every bedbug I can find in that damn bed > Finish the feast of horrors, feeling equal parts disgusted and triumphant > Wait for the bedbugs to meet their doom within my stomach > Days pass, no sign of the pests > Begin to wonder if I've become the ultimate bedbug exterminator > Start considering a career change > "Anon the Bedbug Slayer" has a nice ring to it > But then, one night, the itchiness returns > Realize I've been living in a nightmare all along > Bedbugs come back with a vengeance, laughing at my foolishness > Facepalm so hard, I almost knock myself out > Admit defeat and call an exterminator > They come in, shake their heads at my bedbug buffet story > Spray the entire place with chemicals, fumigating the hell out of it > Finally, the bedbugs are vanquished > Learn my lesson the hard way I should kill myself

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