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>> Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:25:51 No.900615204 >>900615237 >>900615901 >>900616506 >>900616838 >>900617140 >>900617323 >>900618001 >>900618318 >be having sex for the first time >girl pulls her panties down and reveals her butt in my face >tells me to kiss it >look at it closely >hairy anus >feel sick >make up excuses >leave and come home i don't want to body shame girls for being hairy :S.. but what do? Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:27:24 No.900615237 >>900615293 >>900615407 >>900615436 File: Screenshot_20220405-221952-2.png (679 KB, 624x989) >>900615204 Is it normal for the base of the penis to be this hairy? Pic related. People talk about hairy balls but I have got hairs growing up the shaft like a monkey and I'm worried they will get stuck in a girl if we go on a date and she decides to "go down" on me (which means the b-------) and then gets the pubes stuck in her teeth, maybe if their dentist told them to floss they could benefit from the hairs, but otherwise how would the female react? I am scared to find out. Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:32:41 No.900615407 ► >>900615436 >>900615237 why you asking me bro anyway i f**king hate hair so if i was a girl then no way would i be going down on you or up on you unless you get a full body wax and start transitioning because i am also .. NOT GAY .. no off fence :/ Please Do Not Sit On The Fence >>900615407 You're allowed on this fence anon, it will tickle your virgin prostate.

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Anon hates being alone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 05/13/23(Sat)12:40:46 No.73299617 >huge house party down the street I just want to be there, but I'm here alone on Friday night. I don't hate normies, really. I'm just mad at myself for not being one.

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Anon has a burning question | /r/Greentext

1.8 MB PNG Am I wrong to be happy about this? >be me, air quality expert living in NYC >my friends and family always made fun of me for choosing this dumb career analyzing air quality and going into tons of debt for school >giant wildfires in Quebec bring tons of smoke to NYC for the first time. >everyone is freaking the f--- out, acting like this is the apocalypse and the end of the world, totally f------ hysterical 24/7. >all of my friends are asking me about how to improve air quality in their little NYC apartments. Hundreds of texts per day from people I haven't heard from in years. >newspapers and TV news contact me to discuss air quality >my company is securing 3 new major multimillion dollar contracts that never would have happened if these fires didn't happen >everyone everywhere I go knows that I'm the air quality guy to talk to because they remember making fun of me >everyone is apologizing for not taking my career seriously >smoking hot girls are talking to me about AIR QUALITY, my favorite topic, all the time How do I keep these good times rolling?

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Anon is banned from watching Cartoon Network | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO jack black.jpg, 13KiB, 563x544 Anonymous Mon 08 May 2023 01:18:30 No.137112947 Report >>137111051 >Be a little s--- before middleschool >Parents would let me watch adult swim as long as I didn't let it influence my actions (basically no delinquent s--- like beating people up or setting things on fire) >Spending the summer at my Grandma's place to see extended family >Still a kid so I don't realize my grandma has never seen an adult cartoon before >Metalocalypse comes on >It's the episode of the pet neutering concert >Scene where the dude falls into a machine and gets his balls ripped off begins to play >Grandma lets out a scream that matches a person's reaction to 2 girls 1 cup >She takes the remote and turns the channel >Banned from watching Cartoon Network at her house the next day because she remembered the channel number >When I ask why I can't watch Cartoon Network she basically says "I don't want to see cartoons of people getting their balls ripped off" My younger self's retardation never fails to make me cringe but sometimes it makes me laugh like a bastard

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Anon meets the Great Philosopher | /r/Greentext

File: confucius.jpg (193 KB, 1920x1080) Anonymous 06/07/23(Wed)12:31:18 No.15164157 >Upon the road, Anon meets the Great Philosopher >"Wise teacher," says Anon >"How can I live a life worth living?" >The Great Philosopher points to the trees by the roads >"Do you see these trees anon?" >"Yes wise teacher" 需 >"Do you see how their leaves grow? Each a unique divine gift yet all contribute to the whole?" >"Yes wise teacher" >"Do you see how their branches extend to heaven?" >"Yes wise teacher" >The Great philosopher smiled at Anon and pushed him aside >"It is time for you to make like a tree and leaf" Anon was Enlightened

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Anon takes an L | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 72 KB JPG 06/07/23 (Wed)20:42:26 No.73597740 >be me >virgin >manage to fumble 6 girls within the span of 1 year >all were interested in me first At this point its set in stone. Its over.

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Anon's mom is super based. | /r/Greentext

n---- it's futa club of course it has scans Anonymous 02/23/14(Sun)20:25 UTC-8 No.102616238 Replies: >>102616348 >>102616438 >>102616444>>102616453 >>102616503 >>102616549 >>102616751 >2 summers ago >be fapping to Uno Makotos Mama Tama >c-- BUCKETS >instantly just pass out on my bed >sleep like a baby >f--- overslept, late for work >leave in a rush >realize at work i left the cover page and folder open on my computer >lived with single mom all my life, pray to god she doesn't walk in and see it >get home >say hi to mom nothing too out of the ordinary >room has obviously been cleaned by mother not sure if she saw it or not >figure if she didn't bring it up or act out of the ordinary she must not have >2 days later >be in room on computer when mother walks in >"Hey Anon hows it going?" >shes standing there staring at me with her hands on her hips. >"Nothing mom what do you need?" >shes just standing there >starting to get confused >then i notice something >VERY obvious bulge in my mothers pants >look at her with dread >"See anything you like son?" >this literally cannot be f------ happening >she suddenly bursts out laughing >puts her hands down her pants and puts out a handful of socks which she throws in my face >shes still laughing >"Mom what the f---?" >"I read that comic on your computer anon, they have some weird stuff on that internet huh?" >"Mom please go away. >"Its ok sweetie i'm just teasing you, what you like is your own business." >"Ok mom....please leave.." >"Sure sure but can you please take out the trash? I'm cooking dinner right now. I'm making your favorite, sausage." >she laughs even harder and shuts the door and leaves my room You have to understand my mom is funny like that we have a good relationship and everything but it was awkward as f---. Anonymous 02/23/14(Sun)20:25 UTC-8 No.102616252 Replies: >>102616293 100001500000 1000 100 ☐

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anon lives in the northeast | /r/Greentext

File: yes.png (127 KB, 844x1058) * 06/08/23(Thu)11:48:34 No.17799583 f--- canadians Anonymous (ID: tPSDgEMg >be canuck government >dont allow natives to properly enact controlled burns on the fragile forest ecosystem >make it illegal cause "smoke is bad for the environment" or some s--- >massive wildfires ruin thousands of acres of land in Canada >Turn the entire northeast united states into a inhospitable wasteland Canadians are too busy jerking themselves off about how "superior" their country is that they let this s--- happen. Should the United States enact a special military operation into Canada?

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Fast & furious | /r/Greentext

06/06/23(Tue)20:10:19 No.26705489 : Anonymous >>26705464 (OP) # I give my wife a quarter inch at a time. For those ten seconds or less, I'm free.

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Anon wants to buy some clothes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous POPULAR GIFT 06/08/23(Thu)08:30:55 No.73599194 Bowline Short 5" Woven $78 USD or 4 payments of $19.50 with afterpay or Klarna. C48ABAD1-7DFB-4091-8FA0-8C0CB05FA162.jpg 609 KB JPG >want to start buying clothes and taking better care of my appearance >decide to buy some nice clothes for summer >look for a pair of shorts >almost a $100 What the f---? How the f--- do people afford a pair of $80 shorts? 15 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is married | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/07/15(Mon)09:35:29 No.16660705 >come home from drinking with my buddies, buzzed and getting tired. >see my wife walking to the bedroom, its bed time for her too. >laying in bed with wife. >we're talking in the dark as is our nightly routine. >she leaves to use the restroom. >comes back about 1min later, closes and locks the door as usual. >lays down in bed again. >she likes to sleep with her arm over me and head in my neck. >attempt to talk with her, no response. >assume she's fallen asleep. >start nodding off, brain thinking of stupid s--- like elephants doing back flips. >snap out of my sleep, bedroom door knob is jiggling. >look at the door, and hear my wife on the other side say, "stop playing let me in" >shitbrix.gif >>16661078 >>16661195 >>16666953 >look down at my sleeping wife. >can barely make anything out because of the dark. >slip out from under her and turn on the light. >look back at her, no ones there. >look around the room, wife starts getting p----- and demanding I let her in. >go to open the door. >pitch black of the hallway, no ones there. >shitmorebrix.gif >suddenly sober up and realize my wife is working a double shift. >drown_in_brix_l_shat.gif Anonymous 09/07/15(Mon)11:49:21 No.16661078 >>16660705 # this would f--- with me.

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Not believable, anon is outside | /r/Greentext

05/19/23(Fri)04:24:18 No.34815200 : Anonymous >Be me, 14 >Innawoods to get away from b-------, find old tobacco barn to stay in overnight >Get fire going, sleeping kit set up >Sun starts going down, secure the two doors as best I can >Settle down, bank fire, fall asleep >Wake up few hours later to the sound of scrabbling across the roof >Figure it's an animal, so get up and get fire going again >Fire slowly starts building, scrabbling stops >Voices start, sounds like three tinny voices whispering to each other >Start to get creeped out, check to make sure the doors are still secure, add a few more things in front of them (bricks, loose timbers) >Voices continue for a little bit, then stop. Scrabbling starts back up, breaking off in three directions >Pull out s----- pocketknife, sit with back in most secure corner after adding some more fuel to fire >Every now and then something gets thrown at the side of the barn, sounds like rocks or large pieces of wood >Eventually sun starts slowly coming up, throwing slows, then stops >Wait about four hours after sun comes up, pack up stuff, make sure the fire is out, then slip out as quietly as possible >Hear movement in trees a few dozen meters behind me the whole way home, get in and promptly pass out >Tell neighbors up the road a few days later about it >Their response "Oh yeah, sounds like the wood elves. Lucky that's all they did" Just one story of the weird s--- that happened in that area, might tell more if people are interested. >>34815888 # >>34816356 # >>34825612 #

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Anon has it all figured out | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_7685.jpg (28 KB, 245x240) O Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)08:46:49 No.900597634 >be me >not gay >f------ females is for puffs

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Greentext Stories - Anon is on the fence about hairy girls | /r/Greentext

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>> Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:25:51 No.900615204 >>900615237 >>900615901 >>900616506 >>900616838 >>900617140 >>900617323 >>900618001 >>900618318 >be having sex for the first time >girl pulls her panties down and reveals her butt in my face >tells me to kiss it >look at it closely >hairy anus >feel sick >make up excuses >leave and come home i don't want to body shame girls for being hairy :S.. but what do? Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:27:24 No.900615237 >>900615293 >>900615407 >>900615436 File: Screenshot_20220405-221952-2.png (679 KB, 624x989) >>900615204 Is it normal for the base of the penis to be this hairy? Pic related. People talk about hairy balls but I have got hairs growing up the shaft like a monkey and I'm worried they will get stuck in a girl if we go on a date and she decides to "go down" on me (which means the b-------) and then gets the pubes stuck in her teeth, maybe if their dentist told them to floss they could benefit from the hairs, but otherwise how would the female react? I am scared to find out. Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:32:41 No.900615407 ► >>900615436 >>900615237 why you asking me bro anyway i f**king hate hair so if i was a girl then no way would i be going down on you or up on you unless you get a full body wax and start transitioning because i am also .. NOT GAY .. no off fence :/ Please Do Not Sit On The Fence >>900615407 You're allowed on this fence anon, it will tickle your virgin prostate.

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