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: Anonymous 353 KB PNG 04/27/21(Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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look on my works, ye mighty, and despair | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous /fit/ Poetry Corner 15 KB JPG : Anonymous : nonymous : Anonymous 06/09/23(Fri)01:35:02 No.71220719 a poem >World: cold and hard >Breasts: soft and warm thank you >>71220756 # >>71220880 # >>71220989 # >>71220997 # 84 KB JPG 06/09/23(Fri)01:45:46 No.71220751 >>71220880 # >>71221371 # >As I walk into the gym >I see my friend, a man named Tim >Tim is using the squatting rack >Because some juicy thighs, he does lack >As he goes down with the bar >Tim goes down a bit too far >It hits the floor, and so does he >A terrible catastrophe >I call the medic, but it's much too late >Tim has gone and met his fate >He calls me over as he gasps for air >He's telling me to say a prayer >Goodbye Tim, my grand old chum >You never got your juicy bum 06/09/23(Fri)01:47:24 No.71220756 06/09/23(Fri)02:17:05 No.71220859

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Anon is going through a midlife crisis. | /r/Greentext

>it'll get better in high school >it'll get better in college >it'l' get better in university >it will get better when i have a job 142 KB PNG >ive wasted my entire f------ life, my youth is gone ive missed out on love and any important milestones in a normal persons life View Thread

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Anon becomes a wagie | /r/Greentext

File: Dwayne The Spock Johnson.png (636 KB, 680x645) O /b/ Job stories thread Anonymous 06/17/23(Sat)17:23:50 No.901081811 [Reply] Job stories thread? >be me >apply for a job at a national security frim in my country >its my first real job so nervous af >pass all pre-interview tests >final interview date arrives, itshappening.jpg >answer all their questions as quickly and as calmly as possible >imgonnamakeit.rar >final question >ask me "who is the president of the United State?" >without any hesitation and with no second thoughts answer "Sleepy Joe" >horrified as I realize immediately that my autistic ass just sperged that >focus on interviewers' face and see their stern and serious reaction >panicatthedisco.ogg >immediately try to save the situation by adding "aka Joe Biden" >interviewers suddenly start laughing >stillnotsafe.png >they tell me I did better than most of the applicants and that I passed anyways, what's your autistic job stories /b/?

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Anon is a sleeping bag warrior | /r/Greentext

36m (6/25 13:25) 73794005 1 Re. 0 Img PNG 183KB (496 × 680) EngyGuitarSmash.png sleeping bag >be me >early 20s >just moved out of hometown to b------ nowhere >stupidly, only brought one set of sheets >laundry day rolls around >get up early so i can put them out to dry >back from work >they got rained on >f---, how am i gunna sleep >idea.bmp >use my old sleeping bag >had it when i was a kid, barely fit into it >but extra tight means extra warm, so i'm pretty snug >slowly falling asleep >THUD >f--- that was an unsettling noise, but it's probably just another possum in the roofspace or something >BANG *argh* >f--- me someone broke in >attempt to get out of sleeping bag >zipper's stuck tight >manage to hop my way out of bed and wriggle my arms out >grab nearest thing to me >my fender six string >flashlight beam coming through my door >pic related him over the back of the head >guy is very obviously a meth addict >find my phone, call the cops >cop comes >helps me out of sleeping bag >takes me back to station for statement >i give it with sleeping bag draped over my shoulders 'cos it's 2am, cold as f--- >next day >go to local bar >"hey everyone, it's the sleeping bag warrior" >how does every yokel in this bar know what happened last night? >sit down at bar >look next to me >it's the cop >oh, that's how >apparently 6 or 7 properties have been burglarized by this guy before mine >drink free all night >am new town hero >get talking to hot grill >she'd been broken into, too ●●● >we have a few together >end up at her place >cuppa in the kitchen turns into lying on the couch >turns into making out in bedroom >turns into getting busy >"one sec anon, i gotta go get something" >hopefully it's lube and not a 10" rubber c--- or something >hear her going through a cupboard in the next room for a solid 2 minutes >what the f--- could be taking so long? >as she walks back in she's unfurling her sleeping bag from then on, every time we've been together she insists we use the sleeping bag. apparently it's a huge turn on for her and makes her feel secure falling asleep with me in it.

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just askin | /r/Greentext

File: Rosa.png (162 KB, 321x491) O Anonymous 06/25/23(Sun)18:20:32 No.73793973 ► >>73794042 >>73794051 There is no reason to hate women. I'll explain ITT what is really a woman: Nurturing nature: Women often possess a natural instinct to care for and nurture others, like a mother would. Compassion: Women tend to show compassion and empathy towards others, offering comfort and understanding. Protective instinct: Mothers are known for their strong protective instincts, and many women share this trait in various aspects of their lives. Multitasking ability: Mothers are skilled at juggling multiple tasks simultaneously, and women often demonstrate excellent multitasking abilities in various roles. Selflessness: Many mothers prioritize the needs of their children and family above their own, and women, in general, can exhibit selfless behavior and sacrifice for others. Listening skills: Mothers are known for being good listeners, and women often possess excellent listening skills, making them approachable and understanding. Emotional support: Mothers provide emotional support to their children, and women are often adept at offering comfort, guidance, and a nurturing presence to those around them. Patience: Motherhood requires a significant amount of patience, and women often exhibit this quality in various situations, whether it's with children, family members, or colleagues. Problem-solving: Mothers are skilled problem solvers, and women frequently display resourcefulness and creative thinking when faced with challenges. Intuition: Mothers often rely on their intuition to make decisions for their children, and women can possess a strong sense of intuition in various aspects of their lives. Anonymous 06/25/23(Sun)18:20:41 No.73793974 ► Anonymous 06/25/23(Sun)18:28:25 No.73794020 ► >> Anonymous 06/25/23(Sun)18:28:39 No.73794023 ► >> Anonymous 06/25/23(Sun)18:31:48 No.73794039 □ Anonymous 06/25/23(Sun)18:32:12 No.73794042 ► >>73794061 >>73793973 (OP) >There is no reason to hate women. Why the armenian genocide of WW1 or holocaust of WW2 were considered genocide but when women reject ugly guys it's not?

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Anon overlooks hiding his powerlevel | /r/Greentext

36 KB PNG >go to the psychologist >she starts asking questions about me and my life >accidentally mention "Chad" >spend the next two hours explaining her the concept whelp, that didn't go well

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Anon's about to become an hero | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >29 >no qualifications >long term depression >waged for a year, hated every second, had a few unsuccessful relationships and then had a mental breakdown 379 KB JPG 06/25/23(Sun)10:43:26 No.73793103 feeling like this is the endpoint of my life. or at least the end point of any potential I might have had >now neet again >cannot see myself ever functioning in the outside world >can't stand the chaos/ overstimulation of urban/ city environments >not really deeply interested or engaged in anything. make some music and go on bike rides in nature but that's about it. >probably on the autism spectrum. no friends since high school >only feel moderately comfortable when I'm either sitting at the pc or lying down staring at the ceiling I don't want to just mope endlessly. But objectively it just seems like I'm f-----. The only real option is to become a monk or something 3 Replies View Thread

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Anon tells a story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 353 KB PNG 04/27/21(Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro

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Anon is thirsty | /r/Greentext

water Anonymous >be me >thirsty >drink water >not thirsty >thank you water pic related

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Anon watches a movie | /r/Greentext

File: y.yy.yy.yy.yy.jpg (910 KB, 1368x2097) To Life! Fiddler on the Roof deser A taco a stay herps the ducio say ■ Anonymous (ID: 8nQ3YLGT) 06/24/23(Sat)02:10:36 No.431868892 >>431869125 >>431869444 >>431869733 >Movie about Jews >One of the first songs is about money How did they get away with this? Like imagine if any show had a black guy singing about fried chicken and watermelon. Anonymous (ID: OZuPmo7G) 06/24/23(Sat)02:12:26 No.431869125 File: n------ - 1568785850311.gif (2.52 MB, 350x204) >>431868892 (OP) >> Anonymous (ID: RzeCcyt5) 06/24/23(Sat)02:14:39 No.431869444 File: mqdefault.jpg (8 KB, 320x180) Anonymous (ID: 8nQ3YLGT) 06/24/23(Sat)02:17:01 No.431869733 File: tacooo.png (1.56 MB, 1061x1062) dibba dibba dibba dum" >>431868892 (OP) >singing about fried chicken and watermelon. Why do you think Uncle Remus was so happy? >>431868892 (OP) >New Disney movie about Mexico is in theaters >OMGoodness Latinxxxx representation >Take my wife's son to go see it >Guy in sombrero introduces Mexico City >He then begins to sing "If I had a taco, ya ba dibba dibba dibba

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Anon's gf works at walmart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/23(Sun)12:37:36 No.186749347 >Go to the kinoplex with my bros 33 KB JPG >Arrive early before the movie starts >They asks me if I'm dating anyone at the moment >"Yeah bro, met this girl in my route" >"That's cool, man. What does she do?" >"She works at a Walmart, stocking merchandise" >They bust out laughing so loud everyone could hear >"Damn bro, they couldn't even put her in the front of the store, they put her in the warehouse" >"At least date a target chick, bro" >"Hey man, are you going through a hard time right now"

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Anon tries a new cologne | /r/Greentext

more pee boules. who else fell for it? Anonymous 06/20/23(Tue)12:18:51 No.73739903 i fell for the urine as cologne meme >spend 3 days peeing in jars instead of the toilet >don't drink water so it's more powerful >spray myself with it and dab it on before work yesterday to maxx on pheromones >people noticeably avoided me more >wore the same clothes again today and sprayed some more on >i thought it needed time to calibrate >people literally stepped away when i walked towards them, multiple girls wrinkled their noses and ignored me completely >manager just pulled me aside and said i needed to leave as i was upsetting the other workers >told me to shower before i come back you f------ lied to me.

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Greentext Stories - Anon tells a story | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 353 KB PNG 04/27/21(Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro

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