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Anonymous 06/28/23(Wed)17:49:41 No.73830794 [Reply] >mid 20's, home for week >software dev==1 hour of work a day >no friends other than my own brain >drugsAndAlc.java >spend week smackin jackin crackin lackin snackin etc etc etc through the day >throw all produced trash and byproducts in trashcan >binge friday night being a goon till the early hours >saturday morning (3pm) parents are cleaning >still gooned, pretend to sleep >knock knock knock on door >mom comes in w/ trash bag to empty trash >i pretend to sleep >she emptied trash >I crack an eye and witness the avalanche of blunt wraps, tissues, kratom bags, junk food, juul pods, and RC baggies... >they seemed real interested as to when I was leaving when i joined for dinner.... Been doing this since high school honestly, shocked they even let me come home at this point.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon fails gay sex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/28/23(Wed)23:09:53 No.73833929 >be me, robot, in this town because work >no friends and incel for way too long >decide that it need to stop ASAP >register in a dating app >get a girl match on me >skinny girl from a few miles away >decent face, no boobs, no ass >spot an adam's apple on the photos >decide to wait if anything better shows up >nothing >pretty sure it's a t----- >desperate need for at least a bit of human touch, sod it >chat a bit, seems nice, some interests in common, she's also very much alone >decide to meet each other >1st date, we go grab something to eat and discuss, alot >hug each other when goodbye time >felt a lot better after that >she contacts me again two days later, cause in the mood to have a nice evening >go to cinema, grab something to eat, discuss, hugs again >feel a lot better each time I see her, I now look like a normal human being >same program for next 2-3 dates >my general behaviour changed so much that normies start enjoying my presence around them >girl calls me because she's feeling super depressed and wants me to go to her place >if anything sexual happens at this point, it would be fair to repay her for all the good she did to me >ready for gay sex, fate accepted >go to her place for the first time, conforts her, chat >she feels better, we decide to watch a movie together >she starts caressing me during the crappy movie, I like it Anonymous 06/28/23 (Wed)23:10:38 No.73833937 >things are getting hotter, I'm feeling a bit unconformable because first gay time ever but still giving the change >at some point she takes my hand and puts it in her pants >ok, I'm gonna touch a t----- penis >start wandering inside her undies with my hand >nothing >just a silk smooth p---- >genuinely surprised and happy, breathe something along "oh yeah" >"do you like it anon ?" >"a lot" I reply >she's getting wet down there >at this point, fear left place to a huge erection on me >get super excited, tell her I want to see her naked >she complies and starts to undress me too >both naked now, damn she's pretty >decide to give her head >she gets 4 orgasms, then asks me to come inside her >finish with the best orgasm ever >both really loved that >we continue dating, I'm starting the gym, she's starts really taking care of herself >she's more beautiful every day All of this happened three years ago, we're talking about mariage and kids now. Pretty sure I'm a f-----, but still, she's the best thing that happened to me, I just regret the s----- start. T----- sex task failed successfully

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Anon Discovers Unemployment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2 months till im at $0 No.901707629 >Worked full-time from age 14-23 >No time for friends >No energy for fun >Finally quit a few months 06/28/23(Wed)14:58:40 123 KB JPG ago >Blew through cash quick trying to regain lost time F--- >There is O chance of me going back to work after experiencing not working for a few months >Won't qualify for neetbux

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Anon learns importance of hearing protection | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 628 KB PNG 03/21/23(Tue)05:05:24 No.57565071 >Be me years ago >Shooting new Mosin >Rifle range has an overhead shelter that dramatically amplifies blast concussion >Guy comes over to my bench >Clearly >Thinks my Mosin is the coolest gun ever because "it was actually in the war" >"I bet that thing's loud!" noguns/newguns >Tell him yes, it is loud >"Go ahead and shoot, I've gotta hear how loud it is!" >Has no earpro >Tell him that's a really bad idea >"No no, it's ok" >Realize I'm not going to talk him out of it >Shoot at my target >Overhead shelter applies 3x multiplier to the blast >Guy half-heartedly laughs, is visibly dazed

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Anon dreams of Chad | /r/Greentext

allofthem.png 1.51 MB PNG W-- kind of s--- is this bros? >be me with gf who is way out of my league >she asks to open up our relationship >f---, she probably met some Chad >she goes out last night on a "date" >comes home and asks if I wanna see a photo of who she was with, tells me it was so hot, she wants me to join next time >curiosity gets the best of me, maybe this is a threesome opportunity >pic related... this is so much worse than Chad or even furries. I can't stop thinking about how many giant FUZZY pink PPs were in my gf and the noises they must make like EEEVF EEEVF. and the diseases they must carry. I can't even look at her anymore

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Virgin Seal VS Chad Orca | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/23(Mon) 20:20:18 No.4554775 1678736946137065-1.jpg 26 KB JPG >oh no no w-- seal bros what the f--- is that giant thing it's hunting us jesus christ someone help us What the F--- is wrong with O*ca

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Anon's Intrusive Thoughts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 299 KB PNG 06/15/23(Thu)18:55:25 No.73688384 >be me >playing tf2 >backstab a guy who was about to kill our enemy sniper >teammate thanks me and says "spy you're my hero" >suddenly imagine myself as his femboy wife >force these thoughts out these thoughts will never win. i don't care how lonely i get or how much this degeneracy is supported and accepted, anyone who tries to feminize me will die trying >>73688489 # : Anonymous >>73688384 (OP) # you're a f--. just accept it 06/15/23(Thu)18:59:17 No.73688424 06/15/23(Thu)19:05:40 No.73688489 : Anonymous >>73688424 # >you're a f--. just accept it never. i will gladly live alone and become a 30 year old virgin wizard than crossdress and get topped

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Anon helps develop a core memory | /r/Greentext

16 KB JPG >Be me >At airport >Flying back home from a robotics competition >Get bored so I whip out my laptop to watch hockey >Random group of students comes to the gate >Kid asks me if he can sit next to me >I say sure >He starts watching the game with me and we start talking about hockey for a while >Turns out his dad is the assistant GM of an NHL team >He asks me why I'm traveling and I explain robotics to him >He sees very interested and I'm very happy that he's interested >About to board >He asks me if I want some jellybeans so I gratefully accept >He thanks for me for letting him watch the game with me That encounter made my week after a lot of disappointment. I kinda wonder if that'll be a core memory for him down the line

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Anon visits a fast food restaurant. | /r/Greentext

>be me >goes to fast food restaurant >orders mcdonalds >cashier says "sir this is wendys" >I look up >checks menu >is actually at wendys >mfw >I order wendys anway 62 KB JPG

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Anon discovers perfect balance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 791 KB GIF funny that : Anonymous : Anonymous 06/26/23 (Mon)14:56:54 No.15525405 >universe temperatures range from single digit kelvin up to several million kelvin >water can only stay liquid within a range of 100 kelvin >just so happens for that freak accident to happen on earth >and been in that perfect balance for millions on years 06/26/23 (Mon)15:00:09 No.15525412 06/26/23 (Mon)15:01:21 No.15525414 >human IQ ranges from single digit up to 200 >the maths test can only be passed if you get more than 60% of the answers right >just so happens that the guy who prepared for the exam passes it >and been in that stable state for the rest of his academic career >funny that christcucks confusing cause and effect, always funny >>15526103 # : Anonymous : Anonymous >>15525405 (OP) # >personal wealth ranges from 1 dollar to billions >you can only afford a luxury private jet if you are within a range of top 99.9 to 99.99 percent >just so happens the guys who buy luxury private jets are all billionaires 06/26/23 (Mon)16:04:15 No.15525503 06/26/23 (Mon)16:06:46 No.15525511 >and this has been the case throughout the existence of luxury private jets Hilarious

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Hallow fraulein | /r/Greentext

e: 2023-06-28-08-42-30-381.jpg (42 KB, 46/x425) Anonymous 06/28/23(Wed)10:00:35 No.186875 >be a Hollywood movie >Introduce a new character >He has German accent >audience immediately knows he's a villain

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Anon enjoys scaring kids | /r/Greentext

Anonymous My new form of therapy 06/28/23(Wed)23:25:57 No.901692472 >be me >walking home in the dark at night >see mother and daughter walking on the same path about 100 metres in front of me >have an idea >play "drum run" by king gizzard at full volume in my headphones 1.62 MB JPG >start sprinting towards them at breakneck speed >they notice >child starts screaming and crying while mother moves her away >keep running >child still f------ screeching >run right past them and disappear into darkness >get home and revel in the thought that I scared the absolute s--- out of them

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If India is the colony why do the English send a viceroy every year? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Hyung 06/17/23(Sat) 22:16:08 No.31506703 dumb top.jpg 199 KB JPG daily reminder that tops are the real subs and bottoms are the real doms. >when i want to be f----- he f---- me. >when i want to suck his d---, he presents it. >when i want to be held he holds me. >when i want to be dommed he does it the way i like it. >when i want it rougher and harder, he goes rougher and harder. >when i want it softer and gentler, he slows down and kisses me. >when i want to ride his d--- he lays back and lets me. he's such a good boy, sometimes i even let him pretend he's the one in charge :3

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Greentext Stories - Homecoming | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 06/28/23(Wed)17:49:41 No.73830794 [Reply] >mid 20's, home for week >software dev==1 hour of work a day >no friends other than my own brain >drugsAndAlc.java >spend week smackin jackin crackin lackin snackin etc etc etc through the day >throw all produced trash and byproducts in trashcan >binge friday night being a goon till the early hours >saturday morning (3pm) parents are cleaning >still gooned, pretend to sleep >knock knock knock on door >mom comes in w/ trash bag to empty trash >i pretend to sleep >she emptied trash >I crack an eye and witness the avalanche of blunt wraps, tissues, kratom bags, junk food, juul pods, and RC baggies... >they seemed real interested as to when I was leaving when i joined for dinner.... Been doing this since high school honestly, shocked they even let me come home at this point.

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