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Anonymous UJI 1 1/2 1/100/14.00. TO 110.004 11 JUJI >got my brother's spare key because we live a walking distance away >we buy the same kind of bread because that's the same one we had at home >he's a man of schedule, goes shopping the same day every week, he goes on the same walk at the same time of day every day >always hated how irregular my habits are >decide to be a s------- for no reason 85 KB JPG >get a bag of bread on the same day he's gone shopping >toast the entire thing and put it back in the bag >wait until it's time for brother's walk >take my bag of toast and sneak in with my keys >know where he keeps his bread, switch the bag of bread with the bag of toast >toast two slices of bread to make the whole house smell like toast >escape once they're done >make sure I left no mark in the house, touch nothing >make it to home, start gaming >25 minutes later I get a text "I don't know how or why you've done this but I will f------ end you." View Thread

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Anon can't get a word | /r/Greentext

- Oh God! This code is horrible! Who wrote this crap?! S---, It was me. Anonymous 07/03/23 (Mon)22:37:18 No.73896896 [Reply]► >>73896939 >>73896949 >be me, retard >go to word to make some work >See that my office needs the 2019 activation code and the new 2021 activation, and they just locked me out of word (on an important moment) >belive that 2021 activation code will override the 2019 one and easy problem solve >search for instruction on youtube >do everything correctly >2021 is office is officially installed and activated but still locked because I need the the 2019 code >enter the easy general passwords >nothing registers >install the overrider >it basically made the 2021 code useless >uninstall office straight up, realize I should have gone for the 2019 first >install office and the activator code >office instaled, code doenst work, and the 2021 activation code is still required >have till friday to solve this or III get locked again >mfw when I have to uninstall all this random activators, programs and s--- in my attempt to throw everything at the wall I should have min maxed into computer b-------, oh well Anonymous 07/03/23 (Mon)22:42:46 No.73896939 ► >>73896896 (OP) >op trusts a corp in twenty twenty f------ three and gets f----- over Who would have thought. Anyway, just pirate it like the normal people

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Dipper Goes To Taco Bell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 94 KB PNG 07/04/23(Tue)09:57:45 No.902027857 >>Be me >>Dipper >>Go to Taco Bell >>Hijinks Ensue >>The End

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anon didn't manage his expectations | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 89 264 KB PNG 07/04/23(Tue)13:11:46 No.73902863 >meet a new bitch >she only has two boobs >ensure a boring date until you can politely leave

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Long time swimmer, first time collar | /r/Greentext

I T-Mobile Board /lgbt/ - LGBT Anonymous 144 KB JPG 1:46 PM boards.4channel.org ✓ 31% ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/04/23(Tue)12:35:50 No.31782520 I pranked my bottom again. Might've gone too far this time >bottom bf surprises me wearing a leather collar he custom-ordered >the dog tags have my name and his >"anon as long as I'm wearing this you can do ANYTHING you want to me! Don't hold back!" >quivering in anticipation of our usual dom/sub antics >...but he did say ANYTHING >drag him to the beach with me and make him go snorkeling with me to try to see fish and crabs and sea creatures >unsatisfied with the quantity and variety of fish seen at the beach, I drag him to the aquarium to look at more fish (even though it's far cooler to find them in the wild) >take him home and make him download classic Starcraft (not starcraft 2) and play against me >demand to have passionate, sickeningly sweet vanilla sex where we lavish each other in praise and affection and I am physically transmitting love into his body with every touch and every thrust and every moment of eye contact >the next morning I find the collar in the trash and he's so irritated he sulks for days Worth it. Next time he'll choose his words more carefully lol

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Anon makes a wish... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 374 KB JPG 07/04/23(Tue)18:24:08 No.187113591 Speak your three wishes. 07/04/23(Tue)18:27:31 No.187113703 : Anonymous >>187113591 (OP) # >I with for you, the djinn, to give a BJ to another djinns child checkmate demon, you're now known as the pedodjinn

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Anon's friend accidentally kills himself. | /r/Greentext

File: 1385260192525.png-(200 KB, 438x336, 1356057001793.png) Anonymous 11/23/13(Sat)21:29:52 UTC-5 No.517672052 Replies: >>517672226 >>517672274 >>517673125 >>517673550 >>517675017 So guys, my friend might have just killed himself by accident, in a really hilarious way no less. >be at my house >parents are out for weekend >have all my d------ friends over and smoke some weed and get drunk >little brother is a pal, doesn't tell on us >about an hour into our session, friend picks up a peculiar small brown cardboard cylinder that was lying around and prepares to smoke it >we were all pretty stoned but I was conflicted about what the thing was but I was pretty sure It wasn't a blunt >as he is about to light one end I suddenly realize with horror what it actually was >little brother does model rockets as a hobby which run on small fuel cylinders like the one he was about to smoke >before I can say anything he lights it >FFFFFFFFFFWSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.jpg >cylinder ignites >thrust from flame pushes cylinder down friend's throat into stomach >hear loud "pop" as it blows up inside him >friend starts screaming with flames and smoke pouring from his mouth >we all panic and lose our s--- >lil' bother calls 911 despite our activities >ambulance arrives and picks up now convulsing friend >we all get co t summons because weed >still have yet to hear of friend's condition >worst day of my life >not sure whether looking back on this to laugh my ass off or cry hysterically TL;DR my friend tried to smoke a model rocket engine thinking it was a blunt

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retarded piratejack | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 476311042 X 38 65,0 kB PNG 27 REPLIES 2 hr. ago >download a $60 game 100 times >company loses $6000 46 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon has difficulties | /r/Greentext

the gym feeling worse > Be me > go to a new gym for the first time > Get overwhelmed by the amount of people there > realize I'm probably the smallest guy (probably just my imagination). > Get sad and depressed. > Wonder around to get used to the new environment, also to know where all the equipment is. > All the benches and machines are taken, so I have to awkwardly wait on the side. > Get even more sad because I feel like a creep > Decide to leave, but before I do, I decide to try out my membership bonus of free food from the vending machine. > Member card gets declined, leave the gym feeling even worse.. why am I so autistic?

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He threw it back and busted a nutt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 35 KB JPG 04/04/23(Tue)09:50:26 No.72824595 >day 4 of nofap >have very vivid sex dreams >wake up with raging erection >go to gym >leg day >do a calf press >feel weird sensation in my groin >think nothing of it >almost finish my set >on my fifth rep >sensation comes back >c-- bucketloads through my flaccid c--- >almost pass out it's so intense bros...what happened to me?

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Anon gets bullied | /r/Greentext

group h t for (1 ¹]-group_ima-small block; 244) ( O Anonymous 07/03/23(Mon)13:27:52 No.73892650 ▶ >>73892665 >>73892706 >>73892779 >be me in middle school > 7th grade, bullied hard in my own class > seriously consider to become a hero > november arrives > bully #1 and #2 fool around in a tunnel, wild freight train appears > it's super effective > #1 is reduced to pieces, # 2 loses limbs > class shocked, bullying calms down a bit > restarts at the beginning of december > bully #3 gets hit by a truck during the first snowy day > spends months in hospital, never saw him again > cancer of #4 bully's mom wins > he goes to his father's in other state > no more bullies in class > life doesn't like emptiness, new social pyramid forms > two wild new bullys appears > february bully #5 gets expelled for fighting in the playground > shortly after, bully #6 just stops coming to class > next year comes, no bullying at all > year after, new d--- kid arrives in my class > kickly starts racketing me and others > get cornered outside school one day, punches me and attempts to steal from me > didn't notice police in the alley, I didn't either > expelled at the speed of light > no more bullying, ever I seem to have activated some kind of IRL protection cheat code, I really wish I could share it with Anon but I haven't the slightest clue about how I actived it

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It's all so tiring | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/23(Mon)13:14:29 No.73885213 >wake up >still forced to exist //// 109306570_p5.jpg 103 KB JPG b站:超大萝卜糖 S.....

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Anon's gf does a bit of roleplay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/04/23(Tue)07:40:39 No.902013982 >>902014492 >>90201 >>902015335 >>902015628 >>902015680 >>902016307 >>902016874 >>902017219 >>90201 >>902018348 >>902018563 >>902019198 >>902019649 >>902019991 >>902020429 >>90202 >>902013967 >be me >making love to my girlfriend (real girl, i sold my doll) >she is eating the pillow >i'm dripping sweat on her back >i hear moans and mumbling >uhh stop uhh hurting me uhhh >why uhhh why hurt me uhhh im a good girl uhh >uhhhh stop please uhh pleaseee >me stop >d--- is diamonds but worried about r--- charges >grab her hair and pull her head out of the pillow >babe what did you say, are you ok? >oh sorry i didn't know you could hear me >i was roleplaying to help me get off >me ask what the roleplay was >she says it doesn't matter >announces she is tired >has shower >me w-- ok guys i need help what was she roleplaying? Anonymous 07/04/23(Tue)07:45:47 No.902014492 >>902013982 She had to imagine what it was like to be r---- because she knew you too weak and beta to hold her down and do it properly. >>902014256 Anonymous 07/04/23(Tue)07:41:44 No.902015335 >>902014180 >>90201 File: img_13.png (633 KB, 474x700) >>902013982 TFW you get cuck'd by your GF even though you are the only other person in the room

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Greentext Stories - Anons brother hates toast | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous UJI 1 1/2 1/100/14.00. TO 110.004 11 JUJI >got my brother's spare key because we live a walking distance away >we buy the same kind of bread because that's the same one we had at home >he's a man of schedule, goes shopping the same day every week, he goes on the same walk at the same time of day every day >always hated how irregular my habits are >decide to be a s------- for no reason 85 KB JPG >get a bag of bread on the same day he's gone shopping >toast the entire thing and put it back in the bag >wait until it's time for brother's walk >take my bag of toast and sneak in with my keys >know where he keeps his bread, switch the bag of bread with the bag of toast >toast two slices of bread to make the whole house smell like toast >escape once they're done >make sure I left no mark in the house, touch nothing >make it to home, start gaming >25 minutes later I get a text "I don't know how or why you've done this but I will f------ end you." View Thread

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