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Anonymous >be me at 12-13 years old >visit my older cousin >cousin about 15-16 years old at the time >He's super cool with me. He's the brother I never had >take me to the gym for the first time in my life >Meets his gym bros there, everybody super cool with 92 KB JPG 08/16/23(Wed)17:17:07 No.71956159 me >They make me bench. Fail like a bitch on super low weight >Him and one of his bro pushing me on >"Failure is part of the game anon" >Feels GoodMan.jpeg >afterwards we go out to eat pizza with his bros >afterwards we go home to him and chill and to try out cousins new PC >Cousin needs to take a s--- >"I'll be right back anon, you guys continue without me" >When cousin left room. One of the dudes ctrl+alt to his browser >open up his browser history >HolyShit.Jpeg >S--- is f------ FULL of ONLY s------ p--- and wierd ass furry s--- >His bros sides fly to the f------ moon >meanwhile I just stare in disbelief >He comes back >his bros are totally different now, and soon they leave >"what happened anon? That was f------ wierd, right?" >"Y-y-ye-yeah" I never told him.

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Femanon gets a WoW boyfriend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 281 KB JPEG 8/16/2023, 6:43:34 AM No.67197244 > be me, 14 year old femanon, little if any parental supervision > lets play world of warcraft > get to max level, join a s----- raiding guild > i talk a lot and annoy my guildies, they all call me j------- > one guildie gives me attention, he's a female draenei paladin > kids at school only bully me > talk to him every day, he's nice to me and hangs out with me > find out he's 29 > horny little teenager so I flirt with him > he flirts back > a few months later he leaves his job and all his s--- and takes a train across the country to where i live > he meets me at mine, my mom isn't home > lose virginity > he spends the night at my house, i just leave the door locked > i realize he's homeless now but say f--- it > next morning > mombangingondoor.mp4 > she's looking for her shoes > i tell her they aren't in my room > she insists > i hide the child predator in my shower and let her in my room to look > momsenses.exe activates > first she checks my closet > she's looking around for shoes in places shoes don't usually go > makes her way to the bathroom > ohfuck.png > pulls back shower curtain > grown ass man is revealed > "ANON W--" > he looks at her in horror and immediately grabs his s--- and runs out the door > manage to convince momanon that he was 18 not 29 > tell her we didn't do anything > she believes it and goes to work > i run outside and look for the guy > nowhere to be found > iknowwhatimustdo.wmv > remember he said he would go to the homeless shelter downtown > walk for like 2 miles to the bus stop in a shady part of town > get on the bus and take it downtown > ask a random homeless guy where the homeless shelter is > he offers to take me there > happystrolldownadarkalleywithaweirdguy.jpeg > we make it > i ask the gaggle of homeless people if the draenei paladin is there > a few minutes later he stumbles out and tells me to go home > we break up a few weeks after that because he basically ghosts me > tfw no longer innocent virgin j------- > tfw no longer have 29 year old child predator bf

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Anon just wanted some friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/13/23(Sun)17:17:37 No.74367647 >be me >19 >in discord server >make friends >they make a gc with all the friends >we talk about random stuff, ages get brought up >all of them are f------ 12-14 >already planning a polite way to leave the gc >they start talking about how they obtained cp from other minors by faking their age >unadd them all and leave the server what the f--- i just wanted a new friend group :( 56 KB PNG

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Anon re-watches One Piece | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Something I just noticed when (...) 85 KB JPG 08/13/23(Sun)21:43:13 No.256034349 >Zoro's hand turns black. >*Instantly becomes malnourished* What did Oda mean by this???

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Anon likes sunfishes. | /r/Greentext

TTTT 5d (8/10 22:06). 4589946 PNG 24KB (960 × 960) 1264.png 1 Reply : >>4589935 >perfectly adapted for luxurious sunbathing >most sexual mouth of any fish >intense sexuality leads to 300 million eggs laid at once >idiot sharks think they already ate half of you and leave you alone idk seems like a pretty good life

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Anon has an unpopular opinion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 15 KB JPG 05/10/21 (Mon)12:17:38 No.854094226 >go on reddit >unpopular opinion subreddit >give unpopular opinion >downvoted how do these retards function

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Anon got matched | /r/Greentext

>be me, 27 >mom's work throws a party and she brings me to it >one of her coworkers brought her highschool daughter >introduces me to her daughter since everyone else is either part of the company or a literal child and we are the only outsiders >we chat the entire time >have a good time actually >end up adding her on social media >we keep chatting about a lot of topics >been hinting that she wouldn't mind marrying older >is now talking about how she doesn't want to go to college or work at all >wanna get married straight out of highschool and start making babies with her husband What the f--- do I do? I'm a NEET for f---'s sake.

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Anon Gets Shut Down | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 08/14/23(Mon)13:16:39 No.904326831 >Anon never be afraid to ask for help/questions >Me: Ask for help/questions >Shut the f--- up anon you stupid p------------, figure it out yourself!! : Anonymous 08/14/23(Mon)13:18:17 No.904326907 cry about it bitch, dumb ass bitch, talking about "how do i brush my teet," stupid bitch >>904328386 # : Anonymous 08/14/23(Mon)13:22:57 No.904327143 It's very simple. When a daddy loves a mommy very much, he gives her a special kiss then the stork brings them a baby. 08/14/23(Mon)13:32:31 No.904327679 : Anonymous >>904326831 (OP) # >>Shut the f--- up anon you stupid p------------, figure it out yourself!! You're a f------ frog poster. What the hell did you expect??

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Anon got hitted on | /r/Greentext

Why do women treat me this way? >be me >be 18 >wage cuck >work at restaurant >am good employee >I have 2 managers that are cool with me >I have one manager that doesn't like me >shes older than me like mid 40s >she yells at me for the stupidest of things >yells at me for doing things the right way, but not doing it her way >yells at me for being late to get back to the restaurant after a delivery, even though I got lost and traffic is a bitch >mfw I found out she's not a manager, she gets the payed the same as me and has no authority over me >I'm bigger, stronger, and faster than her, yet she still thinks she has some sort of power over me Guys, why does this happen to me? Whenever I get a job some older woman tries to boss me around like they authority over me. What can I do to get her to stop?

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Anon is haunted by the Merchant | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: jwPzpsP8) abstract.jpg 48 KB JPG >>285919533 # looks like a rare abstract merchant 10/30/20(Fri)22:57:23 No.285920561 >>285922222 # >>285923001 # >>285923120 # >>285926883 # >>285935496 # Anonymous (ID: Wm8wqK81 10/30/20(Fri)23:13:26 No.285923120 : Anonymous (ID: 9M+zTj0 >>285919754 # S--- I'm drunk >>285920 : Anonymous (ID: 0h6Dmv >>285920561 # >they drag anon off to the asylum after one of his mental episodes >they found him screaming "THERES JEWS IN THE BREAD" at the top of his lungs

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Anon has had enough | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1765434598764.jpg, 64KiB, 711x718 Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2020 13:27:24 No.59011713 View Report happened last year, but i'll greentext it >be me, work at a big tech company >leftist ultra-woke usual corporate nonsense etc >i'm 6'2 and lifting for 2.5 years, working up to 2/3/4/5 >wear polo shirts to work bc comfy and collared/professional, downside is everyone can see my physique >i outright refuse to talk about weightlifting/fitness to my coworkers to avoid becoming a stereotype >always change the subject, or say "yeah I used to lift in the past but not anymore" >but i'm obviously very muscular, especially by normie standards >normie standards are so f-----, they think i'm mr olympia while to me i'm a work in progress >i can always feel the unspoken resentment from other ppl tho >thotty summer interns and vendor sales hoes always approach me, plenty of mires >some fat girl on a team adjacent to mine always making weird fitness jokes at my expense >not a landwhale (yet) but extremely overweight, massive feminist, white BLM activist >approaching the wall at warp speed and secretly knows it (they all do) >theres a disagreement on how to use engineering resources >"hey, i'll bet anon over there probably wants to settle the debate by arm wrestling lol" >constant weird annoying comments like that >one day i get to a meeting 5 minutes late bc i had to walk across two buildings to get there >"well well nice of you to join us there protein shake" >enough >"well I'm here now, sorry I'm late McFlurry" >room with a dozen people in it falls silent >everyone staring at me like i just murdered a child or something >literally 15 seconds of silence >fatty is in shock, doesn't say anything for the entire meeting >next day >manager requests a 10am meeting >walk into the room, its him and 2 HR people >assigned 4 weeks of sensitivity training >online courses on diversity in the workplace >mfw around fats never relax

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Anon can’t stop getting boners | /r/Greentext

Anonymous How do I stop getting boners? 82 KB PNG 08/15/23(Tue)17:05:03 No.74399118 >J-------, still horny >Literally cannot stop being horny and getting hard no matter what : Anonymous Quick rundown for those who don't wanna read my full rant Literally I get close to 30 - 50 boners a day and I constantly want to j------- but no matter how many times I j------- I still get hard all the time. I maintained being hard almost all day non stop after cooming five times in a row this morning. I can't even keep a job because I'm always flying a flag pole in my pants anytime a woman steps in the room. 103 KB JPG >Be 27 >Wake up, horny >See woman, horny >Light breeze, horny Please R9K I'm begging you what the f--- is wrong with me why can't I get rid of my boners >>74399150 # 08/15/23(Tue)17:06:24 No.74399135 how big is your penis? do you exercise?

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Anon is bonding with his father | /r/Greentext

11 KB JPG >Be me >5 years ago >start my puberty >had previous collections of weird things, like nails in water and s--- >starts cooming >decide i should have a c-- collection in a jar, let's call it cumjar >it gets bigger, almost fill the entire jar because it was a small jar >had to hide it so my parents wouldn't find it >hide it in my wardrobe because my mother stopped cleaning my room cuz i was doing it myself >one time my father was searching in my room for a soccer ball >gets a look in the wardrobe and sees it >he already knew it was a cumjar and started screaming my name >fortunately nobody was at home except me and him >we kept this as a secret >mfw my dad found my cumjar

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Greentext Stories - Anon goes to the gym with his cousin | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous >be me at 12-13 years old >visit my older cousin >cousin about 15-16 years old at the time >He's super cool with me. He's the brother I never had >take me to the gym for the first time in my life >Meets his gym bros there, everybody super cool with 92 KB JPG 08/16/23(Wed)17:17:07 No.71956159 me >They make me bench. Fail like a bitch on super low weight >Him and one of his bro pushing me on >"Failure is part of the game anon" >Feels GoodMan.jpeg >afterwards we go out to eat pizza with his bros >afterwards we go home to him and chill and to try out cousins new PC >Cousin needs to take a s--- >"I'll be right back anon, you guys continue without me" >When cousin left room. One of the dudes ctrl+alt to his browser >open up his browser history >HolyShit.Jpeg >S--- is f------ FULL of ONLY s------ p--- and wierd ass furry s--- >His bros sides fly to the f------ moon >meanwhile I just stare in disbelief >He comes back >his bros are totally different now, and soon they leave >"what happened anon? That was f------ wierd, right?" >"Y-y-ye-yeah" I never told him.

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