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: Anonymous 11/10/23(Fri)10:38:55 No.191921301 w5ym20e0d7f41.jpg 136 KB JPG >tries to kiss Eren >Eren ignores her >*a few years later* >MIKASA WITH ANOTHER MAN?!

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4chan mikasa ackerman eren yeager attack on titan / shingeki no kyojin

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View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1765434598764.jpg, 64KB, 711x718 Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2020 13:27:24 No.59011713 View Report happened last year, but i'll greentext it >be me, work at a big tech company >leftist ultra-woke usual corporate nonsense etc >i'm 6'2 and lifting for 2.5 years, working up to 2/3/4/5 >wear polo shirts to work bc comfy and collared/professional, downside is everyone can see my physique >i outright refuse to talk about weightlifting/fitness to my coworkers to avoid becoming a stereotype >always change the subject, or say "yeah I used to lift in the past but not anymore" >but i'm obviously very muscular, especially by normie standards >normie standards are so f-----, they think i'm mr olympia while to me i'm a work in progress >i can always feel the unspoken resentment from other ppl tho >thotty summer interns and vendor sales hoes always approach me, plenty of mires >some fat girl on a team adjacent to mine always making weird fitness jokes at my expense >not a landwhale (yet) but extremely overweight, massive feminist, white BLM activist >approaching the wall at warp speed and secretly knows it (they all do) >theres a disagreement on how to use engineering resources >"hey, i'll bet anon over there probably wants to settle the debate by arm wrestling lol" >constant weird annoying comments like that >one day i get to a meeting 5 minutes late bc i had to walk across two buildings to get there >"well well nice of you to join us there protein shake" >enough >"well I'm here now, sorry I'm late McFlurry" > room with a dozen people in it falls silent >everyone staring at me like i just murdered a child or something >literally 15 seconds of silence >fatty is in shock, doesn't say anything for the entire meeting >next day >manager requests a 10am meeting >walk into the room, its him and 2 HR people >assigned 4 weeks of sensitivity training >online courses on diversity in the workplace >mfw around fats never relax

9 Anonymous Sat 02 May 2020 23:09:33 No.24864120 Quoted By: >>24864171 >>24836558 I've had repeated contact with an "alien" visitor or entity since I was a kid. I don't know any other way to explain what I've seen, or what I remember seeing. >be me, little kid >get a drink of water >see bob the builder digging around in my garden through the window >because im just a kid this doesn't phase me somehow, I pop outside to say hi >ask him what he's building >he smiles and says he's making a sandbox for me to play in >next day my dad says he's going to start building a sandbox in the backyard for me and my brothers to play in >thankyoubob.jpg >grow up a bit, don't see bob for many years >one day adults are very worried and all in the TV room talking, I think it was when 9/11 happened >go outside because bored/scared >It's f------ Zoboomafoo from the Kratt brothers swinging on my swingset >But I can tell it's based Bob >sit on the swing next to him, ask where he's been >he points up to the moon and give me a cheeky lemur puppet smile >ask why he's here now >said he wanted to check up on me because some stuff happened >thank him for the sandbox >he laughs and swings away into our tree like a retard until I can't see him anymore >>24864120 >Long time, many years pass with no visits from based bob >begin to think it was all a dream/my imagination >parents think it's a cute story when I tell them >Finally learning to ride a bike >I'm slow at learning things and I really should have learned years ago and I'm still bad at it >Dad always telling me to check both ways before I cross a street, keep forgetting >crossing street back to my house, hear a noise out of nowhere and all of a sudden I'm on the ground >Based bob is wearing an Iron Man suit (The silver one) and has gently lowered me to the ground >my bike is completely mauled to shreds under the car >thankyoubasedbob.jpg >>24864171 Okay, time for a little bit of sad s---. I was trying to keep it light but there's some not so fun stuff in here. My parents abused me and all my siblings when we were growing up. They were pretty religious and crazy about a lot of things, it changed in what aspects over time but they definitely followed the whole "spare the rod spoil the child" mentality. I somehow ended up being the black sheep of the family because I'm kinda slow and stupid and stubborn and I daydream too much. So I got beat way, way more than any of the other kids. Anyway, back to the story. >Dad finds out about accident and destroyed bike >asks if I looked both ways >lied and say I did >he knows I didn't >not sure if he's mad about me being in danger or the bike being f-----, but he's P----- >getting the ass beating of my life >hurts so f------ much and is going on forever, I'm just screaming at this point >Begin to scream and beg for jesus to help me >All of a sudden my dad stops hitting me >cry into the bed for a few minutes before looking back >My dad is frozen in place looking terrified as f--- >It's based bob, hovering in front of him, looking like his OG builder self again >The spoon my dad was using to beat me literally disintegrates into a million pieces >dad's eyes are bulging as his wrist begins to bend backwards >Snapcracklepop.jpg >Bob looks at me >Says he's sorry for not doing something sooner >can almost see tears in his eyes >he floats through the ceiling and f---- off >dad never beats me again If you're watching out there based bob, thanks for the help. come back and visit sometime.

: Anonymous 01/18/25(Sat)02:01:30 No.70051407 ha.png 1.95 MB PNG Who is the best videogame hag?

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Anon spitting facts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB JPG 10/01/21(Fri)01:21:13 No.65585458 >Woman: I'm bisexual teehee >shows zero sexual interest in other women >Men: I'm 100% straight >likes trap and femboy s---, uses euphemisms like "bussy" Why do people do this?

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Literally no possible downsides to this plan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 175 KB JPG 09/12/23(Tue)09:26:47 No.15739073 >purchase home gym equipment or perhaps a gym itself >kidnap adolescent silverback gorilla from forest >allow gorilla to acclimate to new environment (the gym) >feed gorilla fruit and bamboo, small insects for protein >observe and take note of what gorilla's favorite foods are >reward gorilla with his favorite food whenever it plays with weights >begin a pavlovian process using this method >encourage gorilla to work out more and more >every few months tranquilize the gorilla and increase weight on machines while providing more/heavier plates for free weights >eventually shift to engine blocks and broken down cars >the silverback gorilla can already bench press 4,000 pounds >with training i believe i could push my gorilla to at least 5,000 >begin to restrict diet and enrichment so gorilla gets antsy >drive gorilla to my ex's house >inject with 100ccs of adrenaline and leave could this work theoretically

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Nobody's cousin | /r/Greentext

Guess Anonymous 11/10/23(Fri)08:52:58 No.909078923 >>909078972 >be me, 26, just cut my family out of my life >move to a new town, get a new job just before christmas >get casually asked what I'm planning to do for the holidays >remember that I don't have a family to go to anymore >tell them I'm not doing anything, I can take the christmas shifts if nobody wants them "Oh, you're jewish? I thought you looked jewish. [Other co-worker] is jewish, too!" >my family is the type of white people who take DNA tests for fun, I'm blond, 2% mongolian and absolutely 0% jew. I just have a long nose. >mfw I don't want to explain my family issues so I just go with it, guess I'm a jew now >Working over christmas, the jew co-worker comes chatting to me >says he hasn't seen me at the shul, but he heard I just moved here, and asked if I'm going back to see my family for a tu bishvat seder >no idea what that is, for some reason I tell him the truth that I don't talk with my family anymore. I've got nobody and I'm alone for holidays from now on. >he looks horrified and invites me to his own folks' thing, insisting that they wouldn't let him NOT do that if they knew >frantically google what the f--- I signed up for as soon as I can >a new year's thing, apparently >dread going to the thing like I would dread visiting my own family >jew co-worker tells me that he told his family about me, his mom interrupted him to yell at him for not inviting me to the seder before he could say that he already did >he thought this was funny, my dread increases. Google as much jewish s--- I can think of beforehand >go to the thing with this guy's family, about to explode with anxiety >surprised to find myself not getting interrogated about anything. >his family is actually genuinely nice, not the kind of fake nice that my family is to guests and strangers, but to each other too >damn bitch, y'all live like this? >they find it funny that I'm skittish to be there >someone's small kid asks me if I'm scared of all families since mine was mean Anonymous 11/10/23 (Fri)08:53:56 No.909078945 ► File: squidward_wat.gif (62 KB, 500x374) >the guy from work keeps inviting me along whenever there's a jewish thing >go to the shul, come to his niece's bat mitzvah, get to know the family and the community >the guy from work stops being just a guy from work, that's my f------ dude. The cousin from nobody's side. >that becomes a running joke, that I'm family but nobody knows how I'm related to >read as much as I can about jewish customs, to make it seem like I'm just anxious to be there, and not entirely unfamiliar with every part of this. I get good at it. >the local community starts to know me as a part of the family, their unofficial "nobody's cousin", awkward but harmless >over a year later at Purim I get s-------- drunk >confess to a rabbi that I should not f------ be here, sobbing that I don't want to go >the rabbi asks why I think I have to go >look at him like he's f------ stupid and repeat what I just said. Because I'm not really jewish >he says he got that part the first time. Obviously I can't stay like this, but have I thought of converting. I've made myself a part of the family, why would I not make myself a part of the people, too. >I wasn't aware that was something a person could do >That rabbi helped me a lot through the process, speaking on my behalf in so many places >he persuaded the family to forgive me about the whole thing, save for omitting the truth once I had never lied to them or treated them wrong >choosing a hebrew name, I got to go with my work guy's grandfather's name - the whole family had thought it was a pity that none of the cousins were named after him, and now one is >I've been a part of the family for years now, I've met the love of my life through them >the rabbi who helped me will marry us >don't work in that old place anymore >randomly happen to see the co-worker who first asked me if I'm jewish >mfw I realize that the reason I got jewed in the first place was because this bitch thought my nose is too big for a white guy

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Anon backs the wrong horse | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Wave 73 KB JPEG 10/11/2023, 09:30:35 No. 16442899 > be me > spend the better part of the last 5 years on /pol/ making america great again, one post at a time > fly to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about mike pence at a rally > march up to congress on his orders to destroy the deep state, smash s--- and then mill around aimlessly > go home and hear that biden won anyway > all of my favorite twitter news sources with names like Patriot Newsman Of the West with avatars of roman statues have posted my photo online and are labeling me a "gay t----- communist antifa actor." > the next day the god emperor I pasted into all those glorious warhammer memes puts out a video cucking himself and bending the knee > "I'm sorry, those were heinous acts! P-please let me use Twitter again, Jack!" > can't leave DC because airlines have dubbed me a flight risk > can't stay because the cops are actively looking for everyone of us after one of their own died > my roommate at the only hotel that would accept me is a guy named based_kekistani1488 who wants to show me his goblin slayer torrents > the sun is going down and I'm getting cold

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Anon likes cheese | /r/Greentext

File: 1347351690562.jpg-(54 KB, 349x262, cheese.jpg) Anonymous (ID: pyfxATen) 09/11/12(Tue)04:21:30 No.424549730 Replies: >>424550994 >>424551072 > be 12 > at Olive Garden > waitress begins grating cheese on my salad > asks me to say "when" > I never say when > room fills with parmesan > no one survives Anonymous (ID: RRh8HqSK) 09/11/12(Tue)04:22:46 No.424549843 Replies: >>424550195 Hah Then who was post!? Anonymous (ID: 2frcuQ61) 09/11/12(Tue)04:26:45 No.424550195 File: 1347352005429.jpg-(32 KB, 615x456, dafuq niqqa.jpg) >>424549843 Seriously, who was OP? Anonymous (ID: CqlAy2bd) 09/11/12(Tue)04:35:32 No.424550994 File: 1347352532330.jpg-(138 KB, 500x333, 1346457806864.jpg) >>424549730 (OP) most fantastic story I've ever read

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As shrimple as that | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >millions must die >billions must live 11/10/23(Fri)12:37:50 No.191924821 W file.png 2.58 MB PNG WARNER BROS. PICTURES

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Anon thinks Sonic 06 isn't bad compared to modern games | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 99 KB JPG 11/09/23(Thu)23:05:07 No.657018231 >This was considered unplayable dogshit in 2006

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Hope is nothing more than a postponed disappointment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 2xRqgabD) 24 KB JPG 08/29/23(Tue)03:59:10 No.439602796 >be me >0 success with women >be kind of a shy beta >decide to improve >start working out >get a better job >improve social skills >engage in hobbies >dress better >better hygiene >become more confident And now, 2 years into this self-improvement and conditioning to become a better man than I was before I can happily report to you that I still have 0 success. >>439602883 # >>439602957 # >>439603096 # >>439603199 # >>439603350 # >>439603386 # >>439603844 # >>439604142 # >>439604191 #

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Anon doesn't like modern media | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous GEORGE ORWELL 1984 20 KB JPG 11/09/23(Thu)22:51:59 No.191923566 >Every genre had been deconstructed >Every trope had been lampshades >All humor was tongue-in-cheek >There was no storytelling anymore, only cynicism

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Anon plays Ace Attorney | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 135 KB GIF 11/09/23(Thu)21:54:51 No.657013213 >save before trying to present evidence >present the wrong evidence and get hit with the last penalty causing a game over >reload and try every piece of evidence, all are wrong >because the game kicks you back to the title screen on a game over this is a softlock >have to replay every case to get back to where the softlock happened I never thought that I would need multiple save files for a visual novel. 15 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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They did it again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/06/23 (Mon)08:50:23 No.191777888 The Simpsons S07E23 Much Apu About Nothing [00:10:41] 0001.jpg 42 KB JPG >Could it be used for dating? >Well thoretically yes, BUT, the computer matches would be so perfect as to eliminate the thrill of romantic conquest buhurgumphway Did The Simpsons predict Tinder?

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Femboy anon is not ok bros | /r/Greentext

M Third post, saw a femboy in my dreams. >got laid off at work- not enough work to go around and newer hires get let go before tenured folk >promised $700 in severance pay that never got paid to me 48 KB JPG >no savings, been living paycheck to paycheck >landlord gave me a five days to come up with rent >hopped into doing DoorDash an Amazon flex- car breaks down after second day >utilities shut off on the third day >tomorrow is day five and I know I'm getting evicted, so I'll have to go live with my ultranationalist far-right conservative evangelical grandparents >bankruptcy is my only option at this point My only comfort is imagining him, lovingly holding me telling me I'm gonna be ok. I know I'm not gonna be ok. I'm losing my home. But when I imagine laying my head in his lap and having him stroke my hair, I feel safe again. The anxiety attacks fade away, the urge to cry and vomit and hyperventilate slowly leave me. I just think to myself that he isn't going to let any of that hurt me. This is all probably just symptoms of a much larger mental issue. A manifestation of loneliness or the part of me that wants to not be alone. It's all I have now though- no car, no power, and soon I won't even have a home.

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Greentext Stories - Was it autism

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: Anonymous 11/10/23(Fri)10:38:55 No.191921301 w5ym20e0d7f41.jpg 136 KB JPG >tries to kiss Eren >Eren ignores her >*a few years later* >MIKASA WITH ANOTHER MAN?!

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