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stupid f----- without arm(...).jpg (315 KB, 1200x1145) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 11/25/23(Sat)23:14:56 No.75543575 >>75543593 >Sick out of my mind with a bad flu. >Stupid ape elective has a mandatory lecture. >Can't risk failing this course or my degree would be extended by a year. >Go to campus looking like a necrophiliacs semen brought me back to life. >The flesh around my nose is ripped and raw; I'm 6'4 stooped by 70 degrees, my nose and eyes are leaking p--- and I can't stop shivering like a stay dog. >Make it to the lecture, sit at the back to try and stay hidden. >The guest lecturer is just some Slavic c--- with a thick accent. They didn't even have the decency to bring out a chimp. >Within the first few minutes I feel the need to cough. >Tightening my throat I pray to the Lord that it passes. >My face reddens, eyes water, little gasps of air tear out of my throat; I'm fighting against the will of my subconscious to not blow my cover. >Nose starts twitching. >oh f---.jpeg >I stand along against two instincts, thrashing around desperately. >In retaliation I've stopped breathing. >>Reality starts to dim. >Give up. >Brace for impact. >ACHOOOO00000000000.flac M >Long green ropes land on the blonde broad in-front of me. >Seconds decay into hours as my heart pounds. I am mentally pleading for her not to notice. >Her hand rummages around her scalp. >I see her look at her palm, like Shinji after masturbating in the hospital. >The mortified girl turns around to look at me. >Her mouth is gaped, eyes wide like a cat. >In a slow defeated tone she begs "what the f--- dude". >The auditorium has gone silent by now. I sit there, a leper, silently staring at her for a few minutes. >No matter how hard I try the air can't escape my lungs to form words. >Get up, looking emotionless, walk out. I can't go back until the final exam, can 1? I f----- up the exit and now it looks intentional. It's so retarded that mandatory lectures exist. Maybe I martyred myself to prevent my professor from scheduling another? Then again, that would be the equivalent of a Vietnamese monk tripping over a propane tank. Anonymous 11/25/23(Sat)23:16:24 No.75543593 ✓ >>75543575 (OP) haha yeah but imagine if a cute girl sneezed and got all that green mucus right in your open mouth and then you accidentally swallowed it haha wouldn't that be funny?

anon becomes a leper | /r/Greentext


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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack
Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #
34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps
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stupid f----- without arm(...).jpg (315 KB, 1200x1145) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 11/25/23(Sat)23:14:56 No.75543575 >>75543593 >Sick out of my mind with a bad flu. >Stupid ape elective has a mandatory lecture. >Can't risk failing this course or my degree would be extended by a year. >Go to campus looking like a necrophiliacs semen brought me back to life. >The flesh around my nose is ripped and raw; I'm 6'4 stooped by 70 degrees, my nose and eyes are leaking p--- and I can't stop shivering like a stay dog. >Make it to the lecture, sit at the back to try and stay hidden. >The guest lecturer is just some Slavic c--- with a thick accent. They didn't even have the decency to bring out a chimp. >Within the first few minutes I feel the need to cough. >Tightening my throat I pray to the Lord that it passes. >My face reddens, eyes water, little gasps of air tear out of my throat; I'm fighting against the will of my subconscious to not blow my cover. >Nose starts twitching. >oh f---.jpeg >I stand along against two instincts, thrashing around desperately. >In retaliation I've stopped breathing. >>Reality starts to dim. >Give up. >Brace for impact. >ACHOOOO00000000000.flac M >Long green ropes land on the blonde broad in-front of me. >Seconds decay into hours as my heart pounds. I am mentally pleading for her not to notice. >Her hand rummages around her scalp. >I see her look at her palm, like Shinji after masturbating in the hospital. >The mortified girl turns around to look at me. >Her mouth is gaped, eyes wide like a cat. >In a slow defeated tone she begs "what the f--- dude". >The auditorium has gone silent by now. I sit there, a leper, silently staring at her for a few minutes. >No matter how hard I try the air can't escape my lungs to form words. >Get up, looking emotionless, walk out. I can't go back until the final exam, can 1? I f----- up the exit and now it looks intentional. It's so retarded that mandatory lectures exist. Maybe I martyred myself to prevent my professor from scheduling another? Then again, that would be the equivalent of a Vietnamese monk tripping over a propane tank. Anonymous 11/25/23(Sat)23:16:24 No.75543593 ✓ >>75543575 (OP) haha yeah but imagine if a cute girl sneezed and got all that green mucus right in your open mouth and then you accidentally swallowed it haha wouldn't that be funny?

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Uploaded Nov 26, 2023 at 11:21AM EST

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Greentext Stories

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