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Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I hate my job. All I do is crush cans all day. It's just... Soda pressing.

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Kieran Healy @kjhealy@mastodon.social A late dinner-prepared on time but neglected in favor of a computer game-led my son to be victimized by the remark "Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it". Honestly I'm surprised he hasn't simply smothered me in my sleep by now. Mar 05, 2024, 04:35 - Ivory for iOS 8 - ★ 19

DocAtCDI @DocAtCDI@mastodon.social It's inappropriate to make a dad joke if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa. Jan 15, 2024, 06:32 - DocAtCDI 85-★ 167

Pun Hub There's only one thing that scares me about Halloween. IG: @PunHubOnline Exactly. Which is? ●00

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Cold Calls

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up. I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls. ...

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That's Why

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I so bad with women?" She said, "I'm Alexa you moron."

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Drop the Addy

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes How do you have a party in space? You planet.

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Shh

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I know a surgeon who puts organs back in upside down. I told him that's not funny, but he said it was an inside joke.

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Down with the Pastry-Archy

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes Why do we have pop tarts but not mom tarts? Because of the pastry-archy!

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Aww

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I recently spotted an albino Dalmatian It was the least I could do for him.

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Burn It

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? Bernadette

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I Could Feel It

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I read a horror story in braille, I could feel something bad was about to happen, but I didn't see it coming at all.

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Witches

Pun Hub There's only one thing that scares me about Halloween. IG: @PunHubOnline Exactly. Which is? ●00

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White Knee

What most people see What colorblind people see

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Clean Now

I used to be addicted to soap... But I'm clean now. DadSaysJokes

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They're Bad Drivers

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

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Dad Jokes - Sad Times

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Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I hate my job. All I do is crush cans all day. It's just... Soda pressing.

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Uploaded Jan 09, 2024 at 04:38PM EST

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