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Our DM: alright level seventeen! What are you guys going to cast first with your 9th level slots? Druid: Conjure Animals DM:

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NPC that hates werewolves My character Overprotective barbarian wife NPC

ENEMY CLERIC USES DIVINE INTERVENTION HEAVY METAL STOPS DISGUSTED GOD REVOKES SPELLCASTING FROM ALL ENEMIES [HEAVY METAL RESUMES] [HEAVY METAL INTENSIFIES] "SHEPHERD THEIR SOULS SO THAT I MAY JUDGE THEM."

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Gravy is banned in the dungeon because master hateses the Critters™ | /r/dndmemes

fantasyandfoodporn Me, talking about D&D: So, I really want to play a mix of gunk and BM but my party already has a padlock, a shepherd, a gravy built around magic bones. and one of those new goos. I'm worried that I'm going to feel like I'm not enough of a munchkin. Like, maybe my dungeon master might to decide to play battleship, but then if we're not doing it raw on the table like the crawfish intended then power word tiptoe probably isn't going to do anything. My therapist, pouring gasoline all over her office: Well, you could just go beast mode. Me: Yeah, but I don't think I'm allowed to have infinite tail armor. That just feels like the kind of punpun s--- that makes rocks fall...

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Two types of Druid player | /r/dndmemes

@SECRETXSNAKE I commune with the spirits and journey to other worlds with rhythm induced trances, bringing healing, power and knowledge to my people I SMOKED DMT AND GOT MY BELLYBUTTON STOLEN BY ELVES AND THEN A CRYSTAL YELLED AT ME

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Early campaign encounters are so fun. | /r/dndmemes

LVL 1 BARD WITH 5HP FIGHTER I sure showed those guys. Eh, Flap? BARD Did you see how uncomfortable they got when I started crying imgflip.com

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BARD COLLEGE PROFFESOR I CAME UP WITH NEW VOCAL COMPONENTS FOR BARDIC SPELLS THEY ARE NORMAL SPELL NAMES WITH "-USSY" AT THE END imgflip.com WIZARD COLLEAGUE COOL! ARE THEY IN STRANGE ELDRITCH TONGUE? ARE THEY SPECIAL INTONATIONS OF MUSIC?

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WOTC doesnt care about Game masters

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Which side are you on? staff Artificer: pic GUN wand

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WHEN A PLAYER ASKS ME TO WRITE THEIR CHARACTER'S BACKSTORY flip.com

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No need to make your own D&D with blackjack and hookers, it's already available in RAW. | /r/dndmemes

Found this gem on page 192 of the 1ed Dungeon Masters Guide. Spice up your Urban npc encounters queue the "lusty bards" ment, or morder: 20% Harlot encounters can be with brazen strumpets or haughty courtesans, thus making it difficult for the party to distinguish each encounter for what it is. (In fact, the encounter could be with a dancer only prostituting herself as it pleases her, an elderly madam, or even a pimp.) In addition to the offering of the usual fare, the harlot is 30% likely to know valuable information, 15% likely to make something up in order to gain a reward, and 20% likely to be, or work with, a thief. You may find it useful to use the sub-table below to see which sort of harlot encounter takes place: 01-10 Slovenly trull 11-25 Brazen strumpet 26-35 Cheap trollop 36-50 Typical streetwalker 51-65 Saucy tart 66-75 Wanton wench 76-85 Expensive doxy Haughty courtesan 86-90 91-92 Aged madam 93-94 Wealthy procuress 95-98 Sly pimp 99-00 Rich panderer An expensive doxy will resemble a gentlewoman, a haughty courtesan a noblewoman, the other harlots might be mistaken for goodwives, and so forth. ...so it's cool if I play a Warforged Redemption Paladin with a pimping background, right?

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WE BALANCED MAGIC ITEMS UNDER THE IDEA THAT THE RARER THE MAGIC ITEM IS, THE MORE POWERFUL IT IS imgfli.com NAME ONE VERY RARE MAGIC ITEM THAT'S BETTER FOR A DRUID THEN A RARE STAFF OF THE WOODLANDS

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Jeremy Crawford explaining why you get your subclass features at level 3 in one dnd | /r/dndmemes

B8-33751 imgflip.com WELL YOU KIND OF MAKE A PACT WITH YOUR PATRON AT LEVEL ONE BUT IT'S NOT A REAL PATRON UNLESS IT IS, AND THEN YOU REMAKE IT AT LEVEL 3 OR SOMETHING, IDGAF fitm MIT WELL YOU MAKE YOUR PACT WITH YOUR PATRON RIGHT AT LEVEL ONE, BUT YOU DON'T DEVELOP ANY ABILITY THAT IS COMPLETELY UNIQUE TO THAT PATRON SPECIFICALLY UNTIL YOU GET YOUR SUBCLASS FEATURES AT LEVEL 3 KUH 8621 This is brilliant. K.QM 8621 But I like this.

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When your players piss you off, so you decide to punish them, but then decide to be more rational about it Kraken Tarrasque

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Learning his sight words like a lil champ. I'm so proud | /r/dndmemes

D&D TIP FROM A 4-YEAR-OLD The Baby DM I showed this to my 4 month old and he had a lot to say, and I quote: "The supposition that halflings and gnomes are the same without the hat is preposterous. There are both physiological differences as well as mechanical differences in the fifth edition. For starters, gnomes are known to have a lush beard while halflings are follicly challenged around the mandible and the mental protuberence. The mechanical differences are plentiful as well, but let me focus on the main difference. Halflings have the ability to reroll a 1 on a d20, which decreases the chance for a nat 1 from 1/20 to 1/400. Gnomes make up for it with their resistance to magical effects and darkvision." A GNOME WITHOUT A FUNNY HAT IS JUST A HALFLING. Pool Baby P M

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Dungeons and Dragons - There’s no greater feeling of power than watching your DM’s eyes fill with fear as you prepare to completely f--- up the action economy with 32 wolves. | /r/dndmemes

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Our DM: alright level seventeen! What are you guys going to cast first with your 9th level slots? Druid: Conjure Animals DM:

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