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Dungeons and Dragons - "So I need something to weigh this down because if I get off it it'll explode?" "Yeah." "Give me the bird. What? It'll be fine." | /r/dndmemes

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Jump off a cliff to, quote, "get to the bottom faster" A roc grabs you to try and feed you to its young. It in turn gets caught by cultists, you with it. Successfully bond with said bird, make a deal with a weird gnome to have it healed, then fly to safety from where you're held. Declare to the DM that you intend to bond w/ the bird and use it as a mount. 5 mins later you are on a mine and need something to weigh ME, THE DM, HORRIFIED it down. Only to say: "GIVE ME THE BIRD"

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