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Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 04/10/24(Wed)19:02:10 No. 77091211 2.81 MB PNG >Be me >On the bus >Someone I recognise comes on at the stop on s----- housing estate >He's my ex high school bully >He recognises me >Starts trying to talk to me while i'm busy doing my work >He brags about the obviously fake Gucci that hes wearing >Flexes his flagship phone on me (I have the same one) >Shows me a pic of his 2005 BMW 520D (Rich) >"So anon, hows your life been?" >"My life has been fine, thanks" The best part about this story is that I am the bus driver. Even Better; He got off at the stop closest to the job center.

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File: IMG_1723.jpg (89 KB, 950x950) > after a while he answers less and less > buys a phone that only has calls on it Miss my friend Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)10:29:50 No.32338271 >>32340765 >>32340815 >>32340988 >>32340998 > be me > move to a new city and switch schools just before 4th grade > thissucks.png > first day of class > sit next to some random dude > teacher starts roll call > calls his name just before mine >mfw we become friends >mfw we stayed friends since then up to the end of hs >mfw he's one of mine if not my best friend > 11th grade starts > becomes extremely religious (this happened over the course of HS) > decides to leave school and become completely religious > sad to see him go but keep in contact cuz I love my friend > goes to a monastery to be completely isolated > loose contact as he's completely obsessed with religion and scripture and cannot talk about anything else and also cannot accept nor hear any opinion other than the one his religious sect deems right (we're both religious) > last time we talked felt like talking to a stranger, completely different then my old friend >mfw I lost a friend just like that > ffs today > be bored at work > decide to read our old chats > makes me tear up I miss you bro How do you cope with this? He was such a good friend and it still hurts

: Anonymous 03/02/24(Sat) 13:53:30 No.196821808 >when the media literacy kicks and the giant man-eating insects are actually the good guys 69 KB JPG

Anonymous 11/19/24(Tue)00:00:02 No.32331309 NEURON METER IQ CERTIFICATE AWARDED TO Gourn Mueller Your IQ score is 74 Neuron Meber What kind of job can I get with an IQ of 74? March 10, 2023 614 KB PNG Anonymous 11/19/24(Tue)00:02:53 No.32331329 A Trump Cabinet appointee

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Anon loses his job because of her/she | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 210 KB JPG 04/10/24(Wed)16:15:04 No.77085715 >company hires a trans to get more investment >"she" wants everyone call "her" "she" >feel uncomfortable as f--- but can't risk losing my job >keep refering to "her" by the name to avoid the pronoun bs >"anon your attitude is toxic and you don't meet our expectation in our workplace enviroment" >lose my job because I f------ don't use "her" pronoun I'm switching side now. Where can I apply for Kool Kidz Klub?

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Anon loves Heath Ledger's Joker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 204 KB JPG 04/10/24(Wed) 05:57:15 No. 198105170 This is the superior Jokah >actually evil >is tall and well built >intimidating, doesnt fear anyone >a terrorist who wants to blow up the city for the lulz but also to prove a point >has no "sad origin story" he is probably an army vet who went crazy because he saw f----- up s--- >has no soft spot for anyone, knows women are a waste of time If anything, this was more of an incel Jokah because Joaquin's now has a gf : Anonymous 04/10/24(Wed) 05:58:52 No.198105204 Jack is the best Joker. : Anonymous >>198105170 (OP) # 04/10/24(Wed) 05:59:40 No.198105224 He also killed mostly criminals instead of random civilians. He was a net positive for the people of Gotham. >>198108659 # >>198109915 # : Anonymous 04/10/24(Wed)06:03:44 No. 198105314 Romero>Ledger-Nicholson>Joaquín>Leto

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anon is regarded | /r/Greentext

R: 0 has anyone else plugged in a phone charger and put it in their butt and pretended they were a robot charging up or am i retarded

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Anon is good at fingering | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB PNG 04/10/24(Wed)14:28:20 No.77083573 >be me >autistic retard >be obsessed with rhythm games for most of my life (mainly guitar hero) >start playing pc clone of guitar hero that allows custom songs (clone hero) >play a s--- ton >eventually become pretty good at the game >learn about techniques to hit certain patterns >start getting a small following for my guitar hero skills >ffw a few weeks ago >get first gf >still playing clone hero, just not as competitively >one day, get frisky with gf >she wants me to finger her >oksurewhatever >start rubbing according to what she tells me >she tells me"flicking my clit feels pretty nice you should do that anon" >start doing what she told me >autism kicks in >"hey the clit kinda remings me of the strum bar of a guitar hero controller >start rake strumming for s---- and giggles (using 2 fingers to register 2 imputs in one single movement) >mfw she loves it >she wants me to do it every day now what do i do now bros, she keeps questioning if i really had O experience with p---- and i'm too much of a wuss to admit that i learned it from guitar hero. f--- you guitar hero.

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Anon doesn’t understand cigarettes | /r/Greentext

27 KB JPG >That's it? >Be me >Be 18 >Try smoking for the first time >Start coughing like crazy >Get intensely dizzy, unable to walk, stand or even talk properly >Continues for a straight minute or 2 >Ended up throwing the pack away How the f--- are people addicted to this?

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anon gets horny at dentist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 71 KB JPG 04/10/24(Wed)05:50:14 No.31038805 >At Dentist >Staring up at the ceiling, spacing out >Mind starts to wander >Start thinking about sex stuff >Get Horny >Sensually lick Dentist's finger while she's probing in my mouth It was an accident, I just did it automatically. She acted like it didn't happen but there's no way she didn't notice as I did it really intensely. Am I going to get in some kind of trouble for this?

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Anon made an arrangement | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/10/24(Wed)14:35:39 No.77083993 Arrangement 74 KB JPG I have no idea where else to post this. I have an arrangement with a severely traumatized girl (she was abused by her parents in early childhood, ended up in foster care, you get the idea). I pay her to allow me to just watch her for hours. I usually watch her sitting and staring at a blank wall, crying, or curled up in bed. I find this extremely enjoyable. I love the dead look in her eyes. Idk why I am like this.

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/v/ finds out Dora the Explorer VA in FF7 Rebirth | /r/Greentext

ST Diametrumpymonkey: GODOT Master542: Now he's Lost his d. Dora the Explorer Defeated Sephiroth BlameGrumpyMonkey: achumasters #2 hanah David Mzengi: Aw man Looks like you ve already defeated him and beat the game. Did Mzengi Beaten *alam rumpyMonkey RonnieBoss so where would place the figure of Sephiroth? after placing it together 食 sephiroth antymonkey twice defeated kachuMaster542 Bronnieboss Probably with Kathleen's Dora Shelf with Princess Dora, Dora the Explorer Lunchbox & Her Dora Plushies 14:15 OG voice of Dora unboxes FF7R collectors edition!! Kathleen Herles 68K views • 4 weeks ago #1, No. 672257413 April 3 final_fantasy_7_rebirth_dora PNG 576x487 394.6 kB 14:15 OG voice of Dora unboxes FF7R collectors edition!! Kathleen Herles 68K views 4 weeks ago These days, we see a lot of VA's playing their own games on stream and providing commentary and stuff. Which person + game let's play do you want to see? 15 replies #2, No. 672257434 April 3 >>672257413 (OP) who did she voice? 3 replies #3, No. 672260990 April 3 >>672257434 Sephiroth 1 reply #4, No. 672263092 April 3 >>672260990 >Hola Cloud! I need you to bring me the Black Materia. >But oh no! Where IS the Black Materia? >Can YOU see the Black Materia? >That's right! You've spotted the Black Materia! Now Cloud can bring it to me! >Can YOU help Cloud bring it to me? >Everyone get up and shout "Good puppy, Cloud!" >That's it! Keep shouting! He's almost here! >You did it! Good puppy, Cloud! >Wait. Who is that? >OH NO. It's Materia Hunter Yuffie! She must be after the Black Materia! >"Hee he hee, I'm gonna swipe ALL the Materia!" >Quick, everyone repeat after me! >YUFFIE NO MUGGING. YUFFIE NO MUGGING. YUFFIE NO MUGGING >"Awww dachau beans" >We did it! We stopped Materia Hunter Yuffie! >Now we can use the Black Materia to summon Meteor and inflict a wound upon the planet that will cause the lifestream to coalesce on one location where I shall ascend to godhood and use the hollowed out husk of Gaia as an interstellar uber so my mother and I can start the cycle of reunion anew on other worlds! Muchos Gracias! 18 replies

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Anon has his day | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 62 KB JPG been with since me >feel miserable 04/08/24(Mon)20:12:28 No.77065393 >have gf >together for 3 years >eachothers first everything >she ends up cheating on me with her coworker >devastated >4 months go by >sometimes hear things from my friends about how many guys she's >one day speaking with friend >Oh by the way did you hear what happened to your ex?" >..."what is it?" >thinking she's gotten into a relationship with a rich doctor or something >"Well she was in a car with a guy and the guy somehow lost control of the car, crashed and now she's in a coma. The doctors say it's not looking good she might not walk again if she wakes up at all. And if she's does it's almost guaranteed she has brain damage" >have to hide my smile and glee so I don't look like a psychopath >finally able to move on You know what? Sometimes life is alright

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Anon learns the valuable lesson that he should avoid goths | /r/Greentext

732 KB JPG >Be me 28 year old kissless hugless virgin >Cant get women in america decide to go to europe > Go to spain > decide to get s-------- > Go to club > See 9.5/10 Big t---- Goth > Say f--- it and pretend to be a chad >mfw it actually works > wing the whole situation >actually f--- and she ask to meet again same night to keep f------ > s--- at sex but lied and said i havent f----- in 9 months >fast foward america > wake up burning piss, weird cough, pimples on d--- > Go to the er > MonkeyPox, gonorrhea, herpes >i regret losing my virginity to that woman

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The dementia crocodile | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 184 KB PNG 04/10/24(Wed)18:35:50 No.916663495 >be me, 25, visiting grandpa >grandpa has dementia, things have been tough >he starts talking about seeing a crocodile in the house >at first, think he's joking >realize he's serious, sees it everywhere >in the kitchen? Croc making a sandwich >in the living room? Croc watching TV >even says there's one in the bathtub, calls it Gerald >decide to go along with it, make the best of the situation >start asking grandpa about Gerald's day >grandpa lights up, tells wild stories about crocodile adventures >we go on "croc hunts" around the house, armed with brooms >grandpa hasn't been this animated in months >realize it doesn't matter if it's real, it's real to him >every visit, ask about Gerald >grandpa's stories get more elaborate, now Gerald has a family >turns into our thing, bonding over imaginary crocodile shenanigans >learn to find joy in the situation, grandpa's happy, I'm happy >thankful for Gerald, the dementia crocodile, for bringing us closer

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Anon is malicious | /r/Greentext

How about a /devilish/thread? >At uni >Girl calls me a loser >over the line >Find her facebook >She has a boyfriend >Everything is public >Perfect >Save her pictures, learn her interests >Make an okcupid account >Fill it out with her info >Interact with others a little >Make a fake Chad facebook account >Message her boyfriend >"Hey bro sorry to bring this up but I was on okcupid and I do google searches of my dates, found your gf on it. Thought I should let you know." >bf messages me back "wow dude thanks for telling me." >A few days later check her facebook >Relationship: Single. Who is the loser now?

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Greentext Stories - Rags to Bootleg Riches | /r/Greentext

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Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 04/10/24(Wed)19:02:10 No. 77091211 2.81 MB PNG >Be me >On the bus >Someone I recognise comes on at the stop on s----- housing estate >He's my ex high school bully >He recognises me >Starts trying to talk to me while i'm busy doing my work >He brags about the obviously fake Gucci that hes wearing >Flexes his flagship phone on me (I have the same one) >Shows me a pic of his 2005 BMW 520D (Rich) >"So anon, hows your life been?" >"My life has been fine, thanks" The best part about this story is that I am the bus driver. Even Better; He got off at the stop closest to the job center.

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