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Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 04/10/24(Wed)19:02:10 No. 77091211 2.81 MB PNG >Be me >On the bus >Someone I recognise comes on at the stop on s----- housing estate >He's my ex high school bully >He recognises me >Starts trying to talk to me while i'm busy doing my work >He brags about the obviously fake Gucci that hes wearing >Flexes his flagship phone on me (I have the same one) >Shows me a pic of his 2005 BMW 520D (Rich) >"So anon, hows your life been?" >"My life has been fine, thanks" The best part about this story is that I am the bus driver. Even Better; He got off at the stop closest to the job center.

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Anonymous 11/02/24(Sat)20:21:18 No.693604852 The Middle Ages according to... Historians: Hollywood: 1.46 MB PNG >no glass windows >random torches on the walls >dirt and mud all over the roads and walls >use mud and straw on wood housing, including on tile roofing >no color Yep, that's a medieval game right there

Anonymous Morning coffee 200 KB PNG 10/31/24(Thu)20:26:17 No.926781955 >be me >on morning work commute >stop at coffee chain >gay retard working the register >make my order >pay with $50 bill >gay retard gives me too much change >attempt to do the moral thing >give back money >tell gay retard he gave me too much >gay retard pauses >thinking.jpeg >you could see steam coming from his ears >gives back even more money than last time >say nothing >just pocket money >take order an leave >mfw I made a $37 profit from ordering a $6 dollar coffee I guess the whole incompetency crisis isn't so bad after all

Anonymous 10/14/24(Mon)20:51:30 No.691849739 The easiest way to stop piracy is not by putting antipiracy technology to work. It's by giving those people a service that's better than what they're receiving from the pirates. Gabe Newell piracy.jpg 46 KB JPG AZ QUOTES >solves the service problem >piracy still rampant guess its just people who want free s---

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Anon loses his job because of her/she | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 210 KB JPG 04/10/24(Wed)16:15:04 No.77085715 >company hires a trans to get more investment >"she" wants everyone call "her" "she" >feel uncomfortable as f--- but can't risk losing my job >keep refering to "her" by the name to avoid the pronoun bs >"anon your attitude is toxic and you don't meet our expectation in our workplace enviroment" >lose my job because I f------ don't use "her" pronoun I'm switching side now. Where can I apply for Kool Kidz Klub?

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Anon loves Heath Ledger's Joker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 204 KB JPG 04/10/24(Wed) 05:57:15 No. 198105170 This is the superior Jokah >actually evil >is tall and well built >intimidating, doesnt fear anyone >a terrorist who wants to blow up the city for the lulz but also to prove a point >has no "sad origin story" he is probably an army vet who went crazy because he saw f----- up s--- >has no soft spot for anyone, knows women are a waste of time If anything, this was more of an incel Jokah because Joaquin's now has a gf : Anonymous 04/10/24(Wed) 05:58:52 No.198105204 Jack is the best Joker. : Anonymous >>198105170 (OP) # 04/10/24(Wed) 05:59:40 No.198105224 He also killed mostly criminals instead of random civilians. He was a net positive for the people of Gotham. >>198108659 # >>198109915 # : Anonymous 04/10/24(Wed)06:03:44 No. 198105314 Romero>Ledger-Nicholson>Joaquín>Leto

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anon is regarded | /r/Greentext

R: 0 has anyone else plugged in a phone charger and put it in their butt and pretended they were a robot charging up or am i retarded

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Anon is good at fingering | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB PNG 04/10/24(Wed)14:28:20 No.77083573 >be me >autistic retard >be obsessed with rhythm games for most of my life (mainly guitar hero) >start playing pc clone of guitar hero that allows custom songs (clone hero) >play a s--- ton >eventually become pretty good at the game >learn about techniques to hit certain patterns >start getting a small following for my guitar hero skills >ffw a few weeks ago >get first gf >still playing clone hero, just not as competitively >one day, get frisky with gf >she wants me to finger her >oksurewhatever >start rubbing according to what she tells me >she tells me"flicking my clit feels pretty nice you should do that anon" >start doing what she told me >autism kicks in >"hey the clit kinda remings me of the strum bar of a guitar hero controller >start rake strumming for s---- and giggles (using 2 fingers to register 2 imputs in one single movement) >mfw she loves it >she wants me to do it every day now what do i do now bros, she keeps questioning if i really had O experience with p---- and i'm too much of a wuss to admit that i learned it from guitar hero. f--- you guitar hero.

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Anon doesn’t understand cigarettes | /r/Greentext

27 KB JPG >That's it? >Be me >Be 18 >Try smoking for the first time >Start coughing like crazy >Get intensely dizzy, unable to walk, stand or even talk properly >Continues for a straight minute or 2 >Ended up throwing the pack away How the f--- are people addicted to this?

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anon gets horny at dentist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 71 KB JPG 04/10/24(Wed)05:50:14 No.31038805 >At Dentist >Staring up at the ceiling, spacing out >Mind starts to wander >Start thinking about sex stuff >Get Horny >Sensually lick Dentist's finger while she's probing in my mouth It was an accident, I just did it automatically. She acted like it didn't happen but there's no way she didn't notice as I did it really intensely. Am I going to get in some kind of trouble for this?

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Anon made an arrangement | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/10/24(Wed)14:35:39 No.77083993 Arrangement 74 KB JPG I have no idea where else to post this. I have an arrangement with a severely traumatized girl (she was abused by her parents in early childhood, ended up in foster care, you get the idea). I pay her to allow me to just watch her for hours. I usually watch her sitting and staring at a blank wall, crying, or curled up in bed. I find this extremely enjoyable. I love the dead look in her eyes. Idk why I am like this.

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/v/ finds out Dora the Explorer VA in FF7 Rebirth | /r/Greentext

ST Diametrumpymonkey: GODOT Master542: Now he's Lost his d. Dora the Explorer Defeated Sephiroth BlameGrumpyMonkey: achumasters #2 hanah David Mzengi: Aw man Looks like you ve already defeated him and beat the game. Did Mzengi Beaten *alam rumpyMonkey RonnieBoss so where would place the figure of Sephiroth? after placing it together 食 sephiroth antymonkey twice defeated kachuMaster542 Bronnieboss Probably with Kathleen's Dora Shelf with Princess Dora, Dora the Explorer Lunchbox & Her Dora Plushies 14:15 OG voice of Dora unboxes FF7R collectors edition!! Kathleen Herles 68K views • 4 weeks ago #1, No. 672257413 April 3 final_fantasy_7_rebirth_dora PNG 576x487 394.6 kB 14:15 OG voice of Dora unboxes FF7R collectors edition!! Kathleen Herles 68K views 4 weeks ago These days, we see a lot of VA's playing their own games on stream and providing commentary and stuff. Which person + game let's play do you want to see? 15 replies #2, No. 672257434 April 3 >>672257413 (OP) who did she voice? 3 replies #3, No. 672260990 April 3 >>672257434 Sephiroth 1 reply #4, No. 672263092 April 3 >>672260990 >Hola Cloud! I need you to bring me the Black Materia. >But oh no! Where IS the Black Materia? >Can YOU see the Black Materia? >That's right! You've spotted the Black Materia! Now Cloud can bring it to me! >Can YOU help Cloud bring it to me? >Everyone get up and shout "Good puppy, Cloud!" >That's it! Keep shouting! He's almost here! >You did it! Good puppy, Cloud! >Wait. Who is that? >OH NO. It's Materia Hunter Yuffie! She must be after the Black Materia! >"Hee he hee, I'm gonna swipe ALL the Materia!" >Quick, everyone repeat after me! >YUFFIE NO MUGGING. YUFFIE NO MUGGING. YUFFIE NO MUGGING >"Awww dachau beans" >We did it! We stopped Materia Hunter Yuffie! >Now we can use the Black Materia to summon Meteor and inflict a wound upon the planet that will cause the lifestream to coalesce on one location where I shall ascend to godhood and use the hollowed out husk of Gaia as an interstellar uber so my mother and I can start the cycle of reunion anew on other worlds! Muchos Gracias! 18 replies

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Anon has his day | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 62 KB JPG been with since me >feel miserable 04/08/24(Mon)20:12:28 No.77065393 >have gf >together for 3 years >eachothers first everything >she ends up cheating on me with her coworker >devastated >4 months go by >sometimes hear things from my friends about how many guys she's >one day speaking with friend >Oh by the way did you hear what happened to your ex?" >..."what is it?" >thinking she's gotten into a relationship with a rich doctor or something >"Well she was in a car with a guy and the guy somehow lost control of the car, crashed and now she's in a coma. The doctors say it's not looking good she might not walk again if she wakes up at all. And if she's does it's almost guaranteed she has brain damage" >have to hide my smile and glee so I don't look like a psychopath >finally able to move on You know what? Sometimes life is alright

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Anon learns the valuable lesson that he should avoid goths | /r/Greentext

732 KB JPG >Be me 28 year old kissless hugless virgin >Cant get women in america decide to go to europe > Go to spain > decide to get s-------- > Go to club > See 9.5/10 Big t---- Goth > Say f--- it and pretend to be a chad >mfw it actually works > wing the whole situation >actually f--- and she ask to meet again same night to keep f------ > s--- at sex but lied and said i havent f----- in 9 months >fast foward america > wake up burning piss, weird cough, pimples on d--- > Go to the er > MonkeyPox, gonorrhea, herpes >i regret losing my virginity to that woman

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The dementia crocodile | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 184 KB PNG 04/10/24(Wed)18:35:50 No.916663495 >be me, 25, visiting grandpa >grandpa has dementia, things have been tough >he starts talking about seeing a crocodile in the house >at first, think he's joking >realize he's serious, sees it everywhere >in the kitchen? Croc making a sandwich >in the living room? Croc watching TV >even says there's one in the bathtub, calls it Gerald >decide to go along with it, make the best of the situation >start asking grandpa about Gerald's day >grandpa lights up, tells wild stories about crocodile adventures >we go on "croc hunts" around the house, armed with brooms >grandpa hasn't been this animated in months >realize it doesn't matter if it's real, it's real to him >every visit, ask about Gerald >grandpa's stories get more elaborate, now Gerald has a family >turns into our thing, bonding over imaginary crocodile shenanigans >learn to find joy in the situation, grandpa's happy, I'm happy >thankful for Gerald, the dementia crocodile, for bringing us closer

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Anon is malicious | /r/Greentext

How about a /devilish/thread? >At uni >Girl calls me a loser >over the line >Find her facebook >She has a boyfriend >Everything is public >Perfect >Save her pictures, learn her interests >Make an okcupid account >Fill it out with her info >Interact with others a little >Make a fake Chad facebook account >Message her boyfriend >"Hey bro sorry to bring this up but I was on okcupid and I do google searches of my dates, found your gf on it. Thought I should let you know." >bf messages me back "wow dude thanks for telling me." >A few days later check her facebook >Relationship: Single. Who is the loser now?

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Greentext Stories - Rags to Bootleg Riches | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 04/10/24(Wed)19:02:10 No. 77091211 2.81 MB PNG >Be me >On the bus >Someone I recognise comes on at the stop on s----- housing estate >He's my ex high school bully >He recognises me >Starts trying to talk to me while i'm busy doing my work >He brags about the obviously fake Gucci that hes wearing >Flexes his flagship phone on me (I have the same one) >Shows me a pic of his 2005 BMW 520D (Rich) >"So anon, hows your life been?" >"My life has been fine, thanks" The best part about this story is that I am the bus driver. Even Better; He got off at the stop closest to the job center.

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