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>>77497719 (OP) # >be me, decent looking "average" guy >not a Chad or anything but hiding my autistic virginity well >but I was born with a micropenis, a disgustingly small wormlike c---, but my parents still circumsized me making it even worse >I never admitted it to anyone, when I was young I wondered why my dad seemed worried about me being a f----- but only when I was older I realized why, and puberty did not save me. It grew, but was still well below average when I turned 18 >Despite my small c---, I was constantly masturbating hoping it would grow, but like a chopped stump it never did, and I stopped watching p--- and grew to resent other men for having what I never could. >Tried to date, but never made it very far because I knew no girl would ever want to f--- me if she knew the truth. >Finally I put in my dating profile that I'm "asexual" like some f----- and not looking to have sex until I really know the girl >Somehow match with a local girl who is also very autistic and does not want to have sex until marriage because it's against her religion. She is both trad and nerdy at the same time and very sheltered/childish but it's the best I can do. >But I am super attracted to her and want to f--- her >Go on dates and we click instantly, finally start having her come over to my place >Finally, we start kissing and that's enough for awhile >I take my shirt off for her and she likes it, but I keep my pants on tight. >One day, I decide to be straight with her >Tell her that I love her so much and I hope she still loves me as a person, but I have a dark secret >I drop my pants revealing my barely visible penis and balls >She laughs and I feel ashamed >But then she says "don't worry, I still love you. But I hope you will still love me too, you see..." >"I have the opposite problem" >She pulls up her skirt revealing a MASSIVE PENIS!!! >"YOU T----- FREAK!!!" I scream like a little girl >"Well someone's gotta be the man around here" the troon sighs sadly.

When you think you've made it | /r/Greentext


Uploaded by Reddit Moments May 15, 2024 at 05:21AM EDT

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Anonymous 03/23/25(Sun)03:30:40 No.80720063 >lie to sound interesting >pressed on lie >panic, block them instantly, and unfriend them anyone else? 6 KB JPG
Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 11:14:39 No.80711300 >be me >think "goonettes" are fake and woman "perverts" come no where close to male gooners >decide to read on what their fetishes and fantasies are >oh 4 KB PNG Is there a reason why they're like 20 times more f----- up and horny then male gooners because I might be a bit disgusted by foids now permanently
File: 1742605941914985.png (135 KB, 446x418) ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 12:34:22 No.705990793 >>705990876 >>705991053 >>705991365 >>705991873 >>705993404 >>705993719 >>705993867 >>705994525 >>705996342 >>705997259 >>706000648 >>706002136 >>706002279 >>706005514 >>706005834 >>706006030 >>706007143 >>706010173 >>706013658 >>706013813 >I JUST KILLED A GAME STUDIO WITH MY FREAKING ZEST HAHA! Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 12:35:57 No.705990876 ►>>705991454 >>705990793 (OP) Will China fix Ubisoft once they buy the company for 30 bucks? Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 13:16:03 No.705993404 >>705990793 (OP) >I JUST KILLED A GAME STUDIO why stop there? kill the whole publisher ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 14:08:52 No. 705996505 >>705996845 Ubisoft aint going away incel, these threads are ridiculous. ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 14:17:02 No.705997008 ► What's funny about Yasuke is that there are so many trying to tell his story in recent years and it keeps flopping or failing. The anime was a big flop, just like this will be. The guy from Black Panther was trying to get a Yasuke movie off the ground but then he died of butt cancer. I think I've heard of several other actors trying to make a movie happen, like Michael B Jordan and John Boyega, but nothing has come of it. Yasuke is not as popular as they think he is >> Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 15:39:26 No.706001617 ► I'd like to think Ubisoft knew they were f-----, so the devteam spent the last year going over-the-top with the zesty s---. >Hon hon! >> Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 15:49:05 No.706002067 >>706002429 >>706009167 >>706013331 How does yasuke know japanese? He's a portuguese slave >> ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 17:16:49 No.706006223 File: assasins creed.webm (2.66 MB, 1920x940)-[Close] >>706006730 ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 14:14:27 No.705996845 >>705999248 >>706002695 >>706007157 >>706008463 File: file.png (35 KB, 741x428) Ubisoft Entertainment SA €12.15 +79.35% -46.69 5Y Mar 21, 6:00:00 PM UTC+1 EUR EPA Disclaimer >Game has microtransactions out of the ass >Can spend cash to unlock op gear >Can spend money to unlock the revealed map >Music consists of Hip hop and 'Ching chong wa wa NINJA!' I sincerely hope this kills Ubislop ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 17:37:31 No.706007143 ► File: 1708400513861711.png (494 KB, 1023x763) 1D 5D 1M 6M 100 80 60 40 20 YTD 1Y 5Y MAX 0 2021 2022 2023 2024 2025 >>705996505 Brother, this is not the graph of a company that is "not going away". Their stock is down almost 10% today, a day after their huge release that is supposed to save the company. They have well over two billion dollars of debt. Ubisoft is dead. >>705990793 (OP). >MFW he looked directly at the camera with a smirk and said 'l really am the Assassins Creed: Shadows' ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 18:52:30 No.706010173 ► >>705990793 (OP). I think people will buy this game when more people find out Yasuke sucks d--- and eats c--.
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Uploaded May 15, 2024 at 05:21AM EDT

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Greentext Stories

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reddit, greentext, greentext memes, 4chan, 4chan memes, /r/greentext

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