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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Chad's inevitable downfall | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Any other fallen Chad's here?(...) 05/21/24(Tue)11:39:47 No.77566585 134 KB JPG >be me big d--- rich Chad with 10/10 big tiddy gf >c-- inside her 4 times a day >f--- her so much I get Ed >viagra doesn't work, get prescribed trimix injections >f--- gf 3+ hours straight with 110% erection everyday >injections lose potency so I increase dosage >increased too much >9 hour erection won't go away >turns blue >goes necrotic >doctor cuts off my penis in emergency surgery >no longer have penis >gf leaves me >only options now is asexual women or to become a t----- >girls swoon over me all day but I don't even have a d--- >become hikikomori to avoid shame >turn into fat ugly slob >father pretty much disowned me because I won't give him children >someone posted an old photo of me f------ my gf on r9k >try to jerk my stub to it >cry

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Anon complains about Chinese literature | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: jzVPdbix Why are chinks like this? 02/02/24(Fri)21:23:57 No.457323923 Chink Genocider.jpg 39 KB JPG >Be me >Read Chinese Animu Light novel >Protagonist achieves enlightenment through Taoism >"My body will rot, my mind will wither, but the heart is eternal. The heart is unchanged. Yesterday I cried, Today I mourn, Tomorrow I will advance. As a child I learned the innocence of life. As an adolescent, I learned the cruelty of heavens. And now, as a man, I learned how to fight and how to protect. To protect.... This is my Dao!!!" >PROCEEDS TO COMMIT A GENOCIDE WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST >PROCEEDS TO LITERALLY ETHNICALLY GENOCIDE HIS ENEMIES. >PROCEEDS TO KILL ALL OF HIS ENEMIES WHILE CHANTING TAOIST SCRIPTURES AND THE BUDDHIST CANON. What the f--- is this? Is this how the Chinks see enlightenment? To kill your enemies and show no mercy?

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Based anon's origin story | /r/Greentext

He was white btw. 112 KB JPG >be me >walk into Burger King place i havent been before. >Hello Id like the double whopper with cheese and bacon medium combo without onions. Can I also get 2 more ketchup packets? >Sorry we cant do that >(Lies.) >Ok no problem. >Drive back home and unwrap burger >It has onions. >Thats it, III take matters into my own hands. >Drive back to the store the next day, drift into the parking spot, making sure I make noise. >Wearing military gloves and carrying an empty military backpack stuffed with clothes. >my portable music speaker playing a remix of Manuels Gas Gas Gas but with the Subscribe to Pewdiepie quote randomly added throughout. >Barge in blasting music. >Terrified look on workers face >H-how m-may I h-help you >Lower the volume so he can barely hear me, compared to not at all. >HELLO, I came in yesterday, remember me? Ill get the same Whopper WITHOUT onions and you will give me three, actually no make it five, ketchup packets, got it? And make it fast, I got somewhere to be. >R-right a-away >order was ready in 4 minutes and I got 6 packages >didnt threaten him, didnt even mention or imply anything, he just got it. I don't know what he got but it was very convincing. Sometimes you got to take matters into your own hands... by doing absolutely nothing at all, I have no idea how this combination of style, character and music choice changed his behavior. (This all happened in my head and it is all fake.)

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Anon works in a fast food restaurant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 286 KB JPG 05/20/24(Mon)12:33:45 No.20510567 >Work in fast food restaurant >Cooks all put s--- in the food >Customer sees and threatens to call cops >Next day cops arrive >Arrest manager >Restaurant temporarily closes >Regional Manager speaks to us >Manager was arrested for fraud and theft >Nothing to do with pubes in burgers >Regional Manager apologizes to us for the trauma >Gives us all $100 coupon for daves and busters Life is good bros

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The last resort | /r/Greentext

Anonymous what do i do? 1011 KB GIF 7 Replies / 2 Images Anonymous 53 KB JPG 05/21/24(Tue)12:23:36 No.77566752 >games are boring >tv shows are boring >music is boring >don't want to go outside >have no hobbies >am just waiting to die is this really all there is to life? View Thread 05/21/24(Tue)12:33:29 No.77566807 >>77566752 (OP) # I get really hyped when I take a massive s--- because it feels good. Usually the highlight of my day.

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Favorite dinosaur | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)09:52:57 No.3792971 >first date >ask what's her favorite dinosaur >ummm I don't know,stegosaurus maybe? >explain why she's wrong for next two hours 15 KB JPG

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Anon forgot to check | /r/Greentext

> sitting in class at school > getting on with my math work > teacher is notoriously strict and makes us work in complete silence > teacher starts talking about leaving to get something from another class > door slams shut > ihaveanidea.jpg > i wait about 10 seconds > i shout at the top of my lungs "Amy is a fat f------ retard" > now Amy was indeed fat but it was i who was the retard > i look to the front of the class to see if amy is reacting > ohshit.png > teacher looking straight at me with pure rage > turns out someone came back from the bathroom and the teacher didn't leave > sent to principals office > not the only time i did this or something similar > next time in class im now a desk away from the teacher sorry mr green as an adult I wouldn't be able to put up with my younger self amy is still a fat retard

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100 & something countries | /r/Greentext

⠀ Anonymous (ID: v2mxVNf2) M 05/21/24(Tue)16:04:59 No.468696967 Screenshot 2024-05-21 at bbsccv.jpg (JPEG Image 938 × 586 pixels).png 531 KB PNG >bombs 90,000 children >ICC gives arrest warrant for genocide >"What what did I do?"

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The Machine Spirit blesses anon with cold air | /r/Greentext

Anonymous hom 11/05/22(Sat)02:01:28 No. 10459432 Ο KEY REWARDS dfgdfg.png 1.74 MB PNG >So you've got a room >It gets hot >You literally put this in your window >All of the sudden it's cold how the hell is this possible?

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tl;dr anon says buck breaking alsoi happened in nippon | /r/Greentext

(106.34 KB 640x799 5c97fadfa2e6... ) Anonymous 05/17/2024 (Fri) 03:51:24 Id: 6bfc96 No. 969318 >>969323 >>969327 >>969352 >>969354 >>969364 >>969436 >>969444 >>969678 (1.57 MB 1280x720 3b129922add...) (1.02 MB 480x360 Boondocks_T...) (143.18 KB 460x377 30156a8d925. ASSASSIN'S CREED N------ >>969252 OOM AMERICA'S CRIME PROBLEM GUNS Don't read books. Screenshot out of context quotes and make up yuor own lore. I absolutely knew as soon as this s--- happened that people were gonna start splitting hairs about if he was a "samurai" or not. I'm drunk and angry, time for me to go on an autism-fueled blogpost rant. First, one thing people do not actually seem to get is the difference between bushi and samurai. Bushi is a catch-all term for a soldier of pre-modern Japan and samurai are only the higher levels of bushi. Truthfully, it doesn't even really matter if Yasuke was a bushi or samurai or whatever, because it's not actually really that glorious of a title. At some points in history the lowest ranks of samurai were often considered barely above a common soldier and were pretty low on the social ladder (as a side effect of regulations that samurai had abide by, they legally had pretty restricted lives, whereas common people could just kind of do what they wanted, but in that vein samurai also only followed "samurai code" whenever they f------ felt like it). But people assume that bushi is a samurai when that is just not the case. It's like an Army private saying they're an officer, but they're not an officer, they're a soldier. Samurai are bushi, but bushi are just about anyone, like ashigaru, and ashigaru DEFINITELY were not samurai. But hey, if Yasuke was actually a samurai, by all means, you can give him the title. I mean, he was hand picked by Nobunaga so that is admittedly interesting and noteworthy. And if you want to make a movie or comic or something, calling him a samurai holds more weight. But people going over that are fighting over semantics, what his real rank was, does being a "retainer" count as a samurai. But there is an answer. People arguing about what a "retainer" counts as do not know s---. First, retainer is an English word, and words translated as "retainer" from Japanese (especially words from before the Meiji Restoration) are so far removed from Western concepts that "retainer" has about as much accuracy as "butler" or even "eunuch." For Yasuke, he is confirmed to be a koshou/J. Koshou are not samurai, that is plain and simple. They could be special in that they work alongside samurai or nobility, but they are bushi. Actually if you look up the definition of koshou in Daijirin ****, a huge f------ dictionary that is considered one of the standards for Japanese definitions, the first definition is- >昔,貴人のそば近く召し使われて種々の雑用を受け持った者。多くは少年で、男色の対象ともなった。 >"Long ago, a person who was taken to be employed alongside a nobleman to preform various chores. Many were boys, they were often the target of homosexual activity." Wow, interesting. The second definition also just says someone hired by a samurai family during Edo for the purpose of doing chores. Calling a koshou a samurai here would be about as apt as calling a mafia associate a member of a mafia family. Here is also a snippet from the Japanese Wikipedia page for koshou, which, again, separates bushi from samurai. >また、主君の戦国大名が小姓を男色の対象とした例も数多く見られた。 >"Also, it is evident that lords under the Sengoku Daimyou practiced homosexuality with koshou." Wow! This goes beyond d--- washing... Yasuke was LITERALLY BEING BUCK BROKEN. Okay, it's probably highly unlikely that Nobunaga wanted to f--- Yasuke, but it's commonly known that Japanese nobility having gaysex was a thing and Nobunaga did have some quality time with other men. But all signs point to, Yasuke just being there because "woah, weird black guy, get him on my team." Am I some armchair historian on twitter? No, I have a BA in East Asian History, and for my track I focused almost exclusively on Japan - because I'm a typical weeb. In fact, I actually remember Yasuke being brought up in two classes, one on the history of Samurai, and one on minorities in Japan (which was being taught by the jewiest jew that ever jewed, who literally introduced herself as a "white colonizer on indigenous land" and was an anti-natalist), and they both said along the lines of "he was interesting for being there, but he was just a servant." It is clear that a lot of the f------ arguing online only get their info from English Wikipedia, which is a minefield even before the current war on Yasuke's page. The difference between being a retard and not is finding an actual answer instead of looking at kikepedia, forming a warped reality, and then editing the page to inch it closer to your flawed worldview so you can then point to Wikipedia and say "SEE, WIKIPEDIA SAYS IT!!!" People can like Yasuke, they can enjoy a game where he's a badass and in the main role, but to pretend he was anything more than what he was is actually some manic retardation, because you just want to worship a n-----. But none of this matters, because the f------ defending this will just continue to believe their own made up history. They'll believe it because they want to elevate n------, because if they concede that Yasuke wasn't a bona-fide samurai then to them it makes their entire argument for tokenizing Yasuke weaker. They shrivel up and move the goalpost ("it's not meant to be realistic!!!" while simultaneously trying to mental gymnastics the real Yasuke's history so it helps their argument). If you made the mistake of fighting on their terms, they get to pick the rules (as if there were any) and the house never loses. I don't really give a f--- about this s----- game, AC had two okay games and became garbage, and I haven't touched an Ubisoft game since R6S eight years ago. It's clear that Ubisoft had to get some sort of attention to AC because nobody likes the games anymore, so they went with Japan and Yasuke thinking any publicity is good publicity. If they made a normal action game called "Yasuke: N---- in Nihon" it would be less egregiously stupid. Whatever, n----- worshipers will probably just buy it anyway to own the neocons. The greater evil is stupid f------ pretending that their 3AM Wikipedia binge session makes them right. I went through four years in the $100k university indoctrination system just to prove f------ like this wrong. I am so tired of people who hate Japan pretending to know everything about it. They are f------ up my hobbies and my profession. 10 years ago the f------ went "if you don't like the localization so much how about you learn Japanese" and I did - now they won't stop trying to f--- up Japan. Just shut the f--- up. Learn how to tie a rope for yourself. I actually got the f------ requirements to tell you you are f------ wrong out of pure spite and hatred, so shut the f--- up. Anonymous 05/17/2024 (Fri) 16:40:57 Id: 2167db No. 969436 >>96944 (130.43 KB 1280x720 dk nobunaga.jpg) HAHAH HAHAH HAHAH >>969318 >>969323 tl;dr Nobunaga be like >"Sorry Kicho, this bushi got me acting unwise!"

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Anons hobby | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat) 12:56:10 No.523321711 850 KB PNG >play a video game >pretend like I'm a twitch streamer and explain what I'm doing to an imaginary audience Is this normal?

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Anon forgets he's autistic | /r/Greentext

1h (05/20/24 19:00) 77563574.4 Re⚫ 1 Img JPG 49KB (1200 × 676) Homelander-Herogasm-episode-1.jpg 2 Replies >arrive at work >walk past coworkers >they avoid eye contact and say nothing > I say good morning and they respond in a bothered tone >another coworker comes along >they greet them enthusiastically Literally getting shunned at my day job. Dunno what I did to f--- up the vibe. Literally no one acknowledges my presence, I might aswell not exist.

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Greentext Stories - Britanon tries online dating | /r/Greentext

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