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Anonymous 04/09/13(Tue)12:44 No.4380985 [♥]>>4380988 >>4380996 >>4381036 >>4381251 >>4381354 >>4381749 PB220120.jpg (169 KB, 1000x750) google iqdb Posted this a long time ago, but here goes: I had a can of condensed milk, and didn't know what to do with it. I read a recipe online that said if I boil the sealed can carefully I can turn it into caramel. I thought it was true. Now, what happened was I was fairly tired from drinking the previous night, and decided to go upstairs to lie down and close my eyes while I waited for the can to cook. I ended up sleeping for 5 hours while the can sat in a pot of water on the stove. My roommate knocks on my door and informs me, laughing, that I need to see the kitchen. I forgot completely what I was doing in there, until I walk in and see this. Apparently the superheated can had ruptured with enough force to propell the pot straight up into the ceiling and punch a circular hole, before crashing down and smashing the electric top, while s------- burnt milk everywhere. I had to buy a new stove. Miraculously, the landlord was just happy I replaced the thing and fixed the drywall.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon likes USSR | /r/Greentext

2 >not motivated by profits USSR Anonymous (ID: ghyE10/K | 05/23/24(Thu) >no drugs >no degenerate western music >no p--- >no unemployment >industry stays in home country >no imigration in or our >imposed russian culture on minorities >fought wallstreet globalism all across the world >the half of europe it controled is the uncucked one >no religion >quotas against jews >stalin killed more jews than hitler >propaganda of sports and healthy life amongst population >no fast food, you eat food like our ancetors did: meat, bread, potatos, vegetables, chease, fruits >no banks, rent or loans >no (((free market))) >no consumerism >space >no big pharma, feel sick? Drink hot tea with lemon and honey. >hated by such f------ as regan, bolton and kissinger Why do we hate the USSR again?

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The Prolapse Plane | /r/Greentext

File: North American_A-5A_Vigil(...).png (113 KB, 1315x494) Internal bomb bay of the North American A3J-1/A-5A Vigilante internal bomb bay "stores train" Mk 28 nuclear weapon disposable fuel tanks tail cone ☐ Anonymous 05/22/24(Wed)10:49:15 No.61683796 ►>>61683818>>61683829 >>61684216 >>61684261 >>61684662 >>61684679 >>61684707 >>61686158 >>61687166 >>61692016 >>61692028 >*huff huff huff* HNNNNGG OPEN WIDE HERE IT COMES IVAN >*plop* ☐ Anonymous 05/22/24(Wed)11:48:31 No.61684216 ►>>61692032 >>61683796 (OP) The bad part? Those used to occasionally s--- the fuel cells on a cat launch, meaning the plane went off the end, and the fuel tank flopped out on the deck. ☐ Anonymous 05/22/24(Wed)13:25:30 No.61684707 ▶ >>61684755 >>61686159 >>61687159 File: 20160217_040355000_iOS.jpg (8 KB, 250x200) >>61683796 (OP) >Gets stuck halfway out >Pilot has to rapidly oscillate in pitch to shake it out like a turd being shaken out of a pant leg ☐ Anonymous 05/22/24(Wed)13:33:13 No.61684755 ► >>61684707 >try to drop nuke >gets stuck >Soviet interceptors/SAMs locking on >panic.exe >begin broadcasting on all channels >Can't drop it, can't drop it, this s---'s stuck! OUTTA MY WAY RED, NUKE'S STUCK, NUKE STUCK! PLEASE, I BEG YOU, WE'RE DEAD Anonymous 05/22/24(Wed)23:15:09 No.61687159 >>61687411 >>61684707 >get the poop knife

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Anon's grandfather if operation downfall happened | /r/Greentext

Operation Downfall 212 KB JPG >alternate timeline, 1945 >manhattan project is an absolute shitfest >the US has no choice but to invade Japan >youre a soldier in the pacific theatre just wanting to go home >you take your last ice cream cone from the marines >operation downfall begins and youre sent to the island of kyushu >you see hundreds of thousands of your friends die at the hands of some j-- n------ who have nothing to lose >excruciating pain to take the island >j--- everywhere, on the mountains, in bunkers, underground >you start to wonder whats even the point of this war anymore >extreme PTSD from guerrila war >a million more men land in tokyo and experience your same trauma >after a year of bloodbath, japan is finally occupied >now a vet, on your way home, this f------ marine: >"Here's another ice cream cone!!" >mfw i had to see j--- popping out from everywhere killing my friends and all i get is this ice cream cone

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Ngl made me kek | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/23/24(Thu)02:25:13 No.197631354 >She is so mid she went on a solo trip to India and didn't get r----

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Tfw we are in the Gacha Cartel timeline | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous GACHA CARTEL 145 KB PNG 05/22/24(Wed) 22:57:09 No.677244780 >The Shanghai game devs held a meeting about gacha games. There's an audio recording leaked. >Most well known Chinese gacha game companies are from Shanghai (Mica, Hypergryph, Mihoyo, Kuro, Manjuu...) >TLDR: >Arrogance, unlimited confidence in their own work >Full of contempt for the playerbase >Fear the rise of Snowbreak >Unsure about Promilia, they are afraid it will go the waifu pandering route >Audio recording here (3 hours): >https://mega.nz/folder/NSs3jTSA#Ys gZ9qrUzMAiPE1WHFpnmw >Transcript translated to English: >https://files.catbox.moe/y5b82d.zip 3 >Fear the rise of Snowbreak

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Anon is a genius | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/22/24(Wed)22:39:49 No.918760571 I have $328,000 in credit card debt. What should I do about it? 29 KB JPG Anonymous Anonymous 05/22/24(Wed)22:40:26 No.918760591 05/22/24(Wed)22:44:15 No.918760722 Anonymous 05/22/24(Wed)22:44:15 No.918760723 >>918760571 (OP) # Can you pump your debt up further? Get it large enough and it's no longer a "you" problem, but a "them" problem.

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Anon's shitty revelation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 143 KB JPG 05/22/24(Wed)14:06:33 No.918724178 >need to poop >go to the bathroom >push >only a thick, clear mucus like substance comes out >no poop at all, just lots and lots of crystal clear goo >there's a lot of it, like at least a cup >doesn't smell like anything >doesn't taste like anything >toilet paper disintegrates in my hand as I saturate it in butt snot >didn't take any pictures but it looks like pic related except less milky and in much, much larger amounts >haven't consumed anything out of the ordinary or done anything different >I feel totally fine otherwise medbros...help? am I gonna die? is it ass cancer? this is the most terrifying moment of my life 12 Replies 2 Images Anonymous >>918724178 (OP) # >self lubricating bussy View Thread 05/22/24(Wed)15:00:44 No.918725286 Congrats OP you're a woman now Anonymous 05/22/24(Wed)15:04:52 No.918725372 Always comes with diarrhea, never had just straight butt mucous come out like that. Anonymous 102 KB JPG 05/22/24(Wed) 15:11:21 No.918725479 >>918724178 (OP) # >doesn't taste like anything

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A life well spent | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ta 528 KB PNG 11/28/21(Sun)13:19:42 No.66334804 >wake up at 4am >shitpost wildly >close all threads, never reply >go to the gym just another day being Chad

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Anon realizes where his tomboy fetish began | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 258 KB PNG 05/22/24(Wed)18:33:43 No.143755682 >be me >one day my sister points out that I have an oddly specific "type" >she says I'm in to raven haired tomboys with raspy voices >think about it and realize she's absolutely correct >for years, no idea where this taste in women came from because I never knew a girl like that IRL >buddy is on a cartoon binge yesterday >he's watching recess >unlock long forgotten memories from childhood of watching this show >Spinelli comes on screen >I hear her speak >"Oh my f------ god..." I mutter, the realization hitting me like a mac truck dropped over a cliff Bros... I'd been hit by the god damn tomboy propaganda before I even realized there was a term for it. Because of this f------ cartoon that I couldn't even remember watching until I was reminded of it, I can now only get off to a type of girl that no longer exists in the year of our lord 2024. How do I cope with this?

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Knights of the Coffee Table | /r/Greentext

▼Settings Mobile Home 05/22/24(Wed)20:43:44 No.77585987 Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous KKK destroyed r/Tattoo Designs 11 hr. ago 5 years later, still my favorite tattoo in the world 13K upvotes -214 comments 372 KB PNG >Hey fellow redditors >I masturbate with a dead klansman on my hand >Now give me 13k updoots

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Anon wants to change his alarm time | /r/Greentext

>go to work How do I change my alarm time? Anonymous 05/22/24(Wed)02:29:25 N >Be me, wagecuck >have to get up at 5 am every morning to slave for Mr. Shekelsburg >my stupid roomate the NEET broke my alarm clock because it was "too loud" >late for work, Mr. Shekelsburg yells at me in front of all the customers >get home, that stupid NEET tells me he'll fix my alarm problem >he'd better.png >next morning, wake up at 5 am on the dot to the sound of loud moans >look at bedroom over, see my oneitis being railed by the NEET >she's screaming in ecastasy, absolutely noone can sleep through this >rageface.webp >next morning, again at 5 am on the dot wake up to loud moans >notthisagain.jpg >this continues for a solid month >Mr. Shekelsburg wants more shekels, tells me to start coming in at 4 am >but my alarm is set for 5 am? >ask my oneitis if she can get euphorically pounded an hour earlier in the mornings >she looks at me with the upmost disgust >didn't say no though, maybe she'll do it? >wake up next morning to the sounds of the loudest moans I've ever heard >look over, as usual she's enthusiastically bouncing up and down on that stupid NEET >look at watch, it says 5 am >ohshit.bmp >late for work, Mr. Shekelsburg yells at me in front of all the customers >mfw

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Grand Theft Foreskin | /r/Greentext

Board /bant/ - International/Random ▼ Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: Z/Uvkwy6) 05/22/24(Wed)18:23:36 No.20354683 Circumcising random boys at the park >Hey; Vsauce >Michael here >Where is your foreskin? 225 KB PNG >Seriously, its a pretty easy question you should be able to answer it. >But how do you know? >*Vsuace music plays*

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Greentext Stories - Anon destroyed the kitchen | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 04/09/13(Tue)12:44 No.4380985 [♥]>>4380988 >>4380996 >>4381036 >>4381251 >>4381354 >>4381749 PB220120.jpg (169 KB, 1000x750) google iqdb Posted this a long time ago, but here goes: I had a can of condensed milk, and didn't know what to do with it. I read a recipe online that said if I boil the sealed can carefully I can turn it into caramel. I thought it was true. Now, what happened was I was fairly tired from drinking the previous night, and decided to go upstairs to lie down and close my eyes while I waited for the can to cook. I ended up sleeping for 5 hours while the can sat in a pot of water on the stove. My roommate knocks on my door and informs me, laughing, that I need to see the kitchen. I forgot completely what I was doing in there, until I walk in and see this. Apparently the superheated can had ruptured with enough force to propell the pot straight up into the ceiling and punch a circular hole, before crashing down and smashing the electric top, while s------- burnt milk everywhere. I had to buy a new stove. Miraculously, the landlord was just happy I replaced the thing and fixed the drywall.

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