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Origin Entry: Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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"How come there are all these initial public offerings but never a final public offering?"

"Depending on which AI becomes Skynet, you might also be able to have a suit with banal political questions"

I WANNA BE PUT IN A STAR TREK TELEPORTER WHICH TECHNICALLY KILLS ME THEN RECONSTRUCTS ME ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM, WITH A BODY AND MIND THAT ARE IDENTICAL IN EVERY WAY EXCEPT THAT THEY ARE NOT GUILTY OF KIDNAPPING AND EATING 27 JOGGERS. Philosophers are no longer allowed to choose their mode of execution.

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Flawless Execution

I WANNA BE PUT IN A STAR TREK TELEPORTER WHICH TECHNICALLY KILLS ME THEN RECONSTRUCTS ME ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM, WITH A BODY AND MIND THAT ARE IDENTICAL IN EVERY WAY EXCEPT THAT THEY ARE NOT GUILTY OF KIDNAPPING AND EATING 27 JOGGERS. Philosophers are no longer allowed to choose their mode of execution.

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Art

YOU EVER WISH YOU COULD TRAVEL BACK IN TIME AND TELL THAT ONE ART SCHOOL TO JUST ACCEPT HITLER? LIKE "I KNOW HE'S NOT THE BEST, BUT JUST TAKE HIM. THIS GUY IS GONNA GET A HUGE AMOUNT OF POWER AND HE'S GONNA BE FILLED WITH ANGER AT THE WHOLE WORLD. JUST TELL HIM HIS LITTLE HOUSE PAINTINGS ARE PRETTY." I MEAN SURE, BUT YOU CAN'T TIME TRAVEL SO WHO CARES? I'M SAYING MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY TO LIKE AI-GENERATED ART BEFORE, AI GETS POWER. HOOOOO-LY S---. smbc-comics.com

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Weird

OH NO! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS LATEST UPDATE TO FACEBOOK.? HM.2 LOOK AT THIS STUFF! UGH! SO WEIRD AND OFFENSIVE! YOU'LL PROBABLY SEE IT A LOT IF YOU OPEN MY COMPUTER. TOTAL INVASION OF PRIVACY. IF YOU DON'T AGREE TO GIVE THEM A BUNCH OF DATA ON YOU THEY FILL YOUR BROWSER HISTORY WITH P---! I'M LOOKING ONLINE AND SEEING NOBODY ELSE REPORT THIS. THEY ARE SO SNEAKY! smbc-comics.com

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Series

DEAR GOD, WHY AM I SO UNHAPPY RIGHT NOW? WHAT DO YOU MEAN "RIGHT NOW"? H--------, SO YOU'RE JUST THERE, BEING 24 AND SINGLE WITH A JOB YOU HATE, AND YOU HAVE NO SIMULTANEOUS EXPERIENCE OF A FUTURE WITH MORE RESPECT OR A PAST WITH MORE JOY?! UH... LIKE NOW. THE CURRENT MOMENT. WAIT, H-------- YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE WHOLE YEARS WHEN YOU'RE OLD WHEN ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE DYING, MAN! ARE YOU INSANE?! SPREAD THINGS OUT A LITTLE. WAIT, WAIT, YOU'RE LIVING YOUR DAYS IN SERIES, NOT IN PARALLEL? YOU MUST FEEL BONKERS! YOU'RE GOING TO DO ALL YOUR CHILD-REARING YEARS... CONSECUTIVELY?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IN RETROSPECT IT WAS A MISTAKE TO PRAY FOR EMPATHY TO AN ALL-POWERFUL IMMORTAL. smbc-comics.com

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Precarious

I GUESS I'M JUST DEPRESSED ABOUT MY PRECARIOUS POSITION. THINK ABOUT IT. WE'RE CARTOON MEN, OUR GENDER CAN BE ALTERED WITH JUST SIX STRAY LINES. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT?! smbc-comics.com

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Contrived

NOW, LET'S USE THIS UTTERLY CONTRIVED SITUATION THAT WILL NEVER OCCUR IN ORDER TO BUILD INTUITION ABOUT THE REAL WORLD. [O со O It turns out there is a deep connection between physics and moral philosophy.

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Confess

SALLY, THE LAST FEW DATES HAVE BEEN WONDERFUL. C'MON EX-SNIPER IN NEED OF EMOTIONAL SUPPORT, C'MONNNNNNN EX-SNIPER IN NEED OF EMOTIONAL SUP- AH. BEFORE WE GO BACK TO MY PLACE, I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT MAY SHOCK YOU. I HAVE GOOGLY EYES TATTOOED ON EVERY HIDDEN PART OF MY BODY THAT COULD RESEMBLE A MOUTH. IT WAS ON A DARE! smbc-comics.com

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Planned Parenthood

"The really distressing part wasn't the 3 hours spent yanking her cheeks, but the variations in pace from time to time."

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Jenny Smith

JENNY SMITH, WILL YOU MARRY ME? I WILL! OH MY GOD! WHAT IN JESUS' NAME- Did you know that Jennifer is the most common name for women between the ages of 20 and 40?

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“AAAAH”

Alt-text: "Of course, in real life that guy would be clawing his eyes out."

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Simile

CONVERSATION PRO-TIP SIMILES SOUND CLASSIER THAN METAPHORS NOT CLASSY SUPER CLASSY: THAT GUY IS LIKE A D--- IS. THAT GUY'S A D--- INCREDIBLY CLASSY: NOT CLASSY: MY LIFE IS S--- I LIVE ALIKE S--- NOT CLASSY: THE TONE OF A GENTLEMAN: TODAY IS SUCH AS BALLS ARE. TODAY IS BALLS smbc-comics.com

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Package

IM IN HELL SO, YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE PACKAGING EHP W-WHAT? The lowest level of perdition is reserved for People who leave 1-star product reviews that aren't in reference to the product itself.

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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - This could be you but you playing

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