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34 KB JPG >be me >9 years old >watching Wizard of Oz with dad >dad super hyped, loves the movie >I'm vibing, good times >"We're off to see the wizard..." part comes on >hear "Because, because, because, because, becaaaaaause... >Because of the wonderful PIXIE DUST!" >Pixie dust??? YES. HYPE. >Excited for pixie dust rest of the movie >whole time waiting for magical sparkles >movie ends, no pixie dust anywhere >devastated >start crying, literally thought I was lied to by gang >dad doesn't understand why son is crying >increase_crying_intensity = 100 >fart a little during peak scream >dad gives me "fml" look >didn't realize they said "THINGS HE DOES" until college >mfw_no_pixie_dust.png

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Right through my heart | /r/Greentext

Anonymous who is at fault here 713 KB JPG は 10/23/24(Wed)19:59:54 No.79223520 >arrive to get blood work done, super nervous >trying to avoid eye contact and say as little as possible >sit down and roll up my sleeve for her >"you have nice veins" >immediately need to focus on not getting hard on the spot >"got any plans for later today?" n-not really >also talks about how she likes my shirt a lot >I'm so stunned that I'm mindlessly staring at the place she's about to draw blood from until I realize it and look away, even more embarrassed for this was she acting aggressive, or was that nothing at all and I'm just pathetic. weird thing is she didn't make a comment about my hair and that's what everyone mentions if they want to make small talk with me, I was definitely caught off guard

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Anon found a money glitch | /r/Greentext

Anonymous lunch 2 MB GIF 05/11/24(Sat) 10:07:00 No.77456803 random childhood memory unlocked >be me 15 years ago, bored >decide to sell my toys to neighborhood kids >one kid buys a toy truck for one dollar >he leaves truck in his yard during >sneak in and steal truck back >no idea why I did it, just a sudden impulse >that afternoon he comes back and says the truck was stolen >tell him that sucks, I only have one left, since it's my last one it will be three dollars if he wants it >he buys the truck again This was buried deep in the back of my brain. Do I need to check my ancestry?

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We could have it all | /r/Greentext

Anonymous him 417 KB PNG 10/23/24(Wed) 09:58:19 No.79219762 >be my boyfriend >virgin >angry incel on here, hated women for not giving him love >i become his gf >i shower him with love and attention 24/7 >i make huge money sacrifices for >he loses his virginity with me >i buy clothes he likes so he can find me more attractive >i do everything to keep things calm and nice >he treats me like s--- and ignores me for days and acts as if im the toxic one >he says he would rather be single >he says i suffocate him too much when the only time we spend together is me and him on a call, with me muted, watching him play videogames or simply listening to his breathing >im visiting him in 18 days for a month 1. how do i make him love me and give a s--- about me like he used to? 2. what if he just keeps treating me like s--- once im there and ignores me and leaves me to fend for myself in an unknown country? 3. why is he treating me this way in the first place?

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Anon wants to be a horny witcher | /r/Greentext

Anonymous The Witcher 1 1.33 MB PNG 10/23/24(Wed)13:44:30 No.692652951 >give wolfskin to prove you are a worthy hunter >get rewarded with sex Times were simple back in the days as a witcher.

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I wonder what Anon did tho | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I was stupid. cp shold 1.3 MB PNG back. my life is a joke 3 Replies 10/23/24(Wed)16:28:38 No.79220258 >Be paranoid schizo >Start to suspect everyone at work hates me. >Don't have any reason to believe that, just go on vibes, so I think it's just my paranoia acting up. >Got fired because three coworkers I trusted the most conspired against me and stabbed me in the View Thread

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I'll eat you alive | /r/Greentext

Anonymous IT'S JOEVER 25 KB JPG 10/22/24(Tue)19:50:17 No.79212871 >have massive crush on friend >notice she likes a lot of memes about getting eaten out on socials >leaving town for good soon, will never see her again >shoot my shot >"lol I don't even remember liking those" >leave a serious offer on the table >"that's generous but that's not something I'm looking for right now" Just call me ugly already, f---.

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Anon tries Detroit style pizza | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 KB JPG 10/23/24(Wed)03:45:42 No.926384596 >be me >Go to pizza place I haven't seen before >They've got Detroit style which I've never had >Order a full one that runs me like 35 bucks but, ah well >Mfw they bring it out and that sucker is crispy ASF with lots of cheese and sauce on top >Also mfw I take my first bite and feel that slight crunch Have you taken the Detroit style pizza-pill yet anon?

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Anon studies the American Civil War | /r/Greentext

File: download (9).jpg (172 KB, 1200x675) Confederates: Anonymous 10/22/24(Tue)13:29:44 No.17198166 ►>>17198710>>17199097 Union: >Conceive of a brilliant strategic plan to capture a hill >Execute it in the most retarded way possible >Lose half the army in failed Human wave attacks >Occupy the hill after Rebs run out of ammo >Claim victory because the value of the hill outweighs the thousands of men who died for it >Hill is retaken an hour later by Confederate cavalry >Conceive of the dumbest, most idiotic failed abortion of a plan ever put to paper to hold a hill >Tactical execution is flawless >Mow down wave after wave of Yankees >Run out of ammo, cannons melt, withdraw while taking shots from the rear >Claim victory because bluebellies fail to take the pig farm 0.4 miles from the hill >Half the army dies of starvation the next day

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This might soon be a reality | /r/Greentext

Dontos XBOXONE XBOX ONE >still feeling sick from the 14 Anonymous (ID: Gd4zYaQ7) 06/16/13(Sun)10:50:56 No.487373351 Repl >2018 >wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing vidya >excited to play some halo 2k19 >"xbox on" >"XBOX ON" >"Please verify that you are "annon332" by saying "Doritos™ Dew™ it right!" >"Doritos™ Dew™ it right" >"ERROR! Please drink a verification can" >reach into my Doritos ™ Mountain Dew™ Halo 2k19™ War Chest >only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night >force it down and grumble out "mmmm that really hit the spot" >xbox does nothing >i attempt to smile >"Connecting to verification server" >... >"Verification complete!" >finally >boot up halo 2k19 >finding multiplayer match... >"ERROR! User attempting to steal online gameplay!" >my mother just walked in the room >"Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept?" >"NO!" >"Console entering lock state!" >"to unlock drink verification can" >last can >"WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card" >drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick >pour the last half out the window >"PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE" >the mountain dew ad plays >i have to dance for it >feeling so sick >makes me sing along >dancing and singing >"mountain dew is for me and you" >throw up on my self >throw up on my tv and entertainment system >router shorts >"ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF" >"PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE"

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Diarrhœa Alley | /r/Greentext

File: 1687692190539191.jpg (292 KB, 1447x1437) Anonymous 10/21/24(Mon)18:19:26 No.204711963 >>204711996 >>204712016 >>204712023 >>204712471 >>204712588 >>204712621 >>204712690 >>204713285 >>204714024 >>204714067 >>204714090 >>204715044 >> >Indian Harry Potter >he smells so bad that he kills Voldemort on the spot Anonymous 10/21/24(Mon) 18:20:43 No.204711996 ► >>204711963 (OP) >wizards magic away their poop It all makes sense, thanks JK. Anonymous 10/21/24(Mon) 18:41:11 No.204712400 >>204712429 >>204712439 >>204712471 >>204712484 >>204712493 >>204712550 >>204712727 >>204713326 >>204713986 >>204714046 >>204714087 >>204715006 >Indian Harry Potter >gets hit by the Hogwarts Express Anonymous 10/21/24(Mon)18:50:40 No.204712588 ►>>204712712>>204715035 >>204711963 (OP) >Harry Pooter and the Brahmin's stone >Harry Pooter and the chamber pot of secrets >Harry Pooter and the britisher of azkaban >Harry Pooter and the curry of fire >Harry Pooter and order of the google card >Harry Pooter and the half caste prince >Harry Pooter and the deathly s---- Anonymous 10/21/24(Mon)18:55:07 No.204712690 ►>>204713300 >>204711963 (OP). >Salazar Sirtherin created a monster specifically so nobody would ever use the toilets >> Anonymous 10/21/24(Mon)19:48:29 No.204713566 File: IMG_1125.png (211 KB, 558x455) >RANJESH POTTER, DID YOU S--- IN THE STREET OF FIRE?!?! >FILCH HAS BEEN TRYING TO EXCAVATE MRS NORRIS FOR THE LAST TEN HOURS! Anonymous 10/21/24(Mon)20:11:32 No.204713903 >>204713933 >It's levioSAR, not leviosir

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Anon's dad teaches him a lesson | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 19 KB JPG 10/22/24(Tue)14:53:24 No.926356507 >be me on my birthday in 2012 >Go to school >Get bullied like crazy as usual >Get home with tears in eyes >Tell dad >Dad says "toughen up buttercup" and gives me a kiss on the forehead My dad passed away last night, just figured I'd share one of my favorite memories

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Pattern Recognition and Dark Skinned Women in a New World! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/13/24(Mon) 13:02:48 No.266540951 >I obtained the cheat skill [Pattern Recognition] and got kicked from the Hero's Party for antisemitism, so now i'm going to live a slow life preparing for the inevitable race-war, but these brown girls keep trying to seduce me?!? >>266541408 # >>266541926 # >>266542088 # >>266542249 # >>266542556 # >>266544046 # >>266544380 #

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Greentext Stories - Anon Didn't Expect Wonderful Things From the Wizard of Oz | /r/Greentext

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34 KB JPG >be me >9 years old >watching Wizard of Oz with dad >dad super hyped, loves the movie >I'm vibing, good times >"We're off to see the wizard..." part comes on >hear "Because, because, because, because, becaaaaaause... >Because of the wonderful PIXIE DUST!" >Pixie dust??? YES. HYPE. >Excited for pixie dust rest of the movie >whole time waiting for magical sparkles >movie ends, no pixie dust anywhere >devastated >start crying, literally thought I was lied to by gang >dad doesn't understand why son is crying >increase_crying_intensity = 100 >fart a little during peak scream >dad gives me "fml" look >didn't realize they said "THINGS HE DOES" until college >mfw_no_pixie_dust.png

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Uploaded Oct 23, 2024 at 06:03PM EDT

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