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lena @notlena my dad thinks i have a secret boyfriend and said word-for-word to me "youve been consistently single for a suspicious amount of time"... no dad boys just dont like me thanks for REMINDING ME on this nice saturday night

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Luc @ellkay_ Saw is unrealistic no-one has that much will to live 5:03 PM - 2021-05-18 Twitter for iPhone 5,798 Retweets 470 Quote Tweets 37.9K Likes

brendaaa I'm on the bus and this guy is so fine but he has an iPhone 6 therealestone And you're on a bus

Andy Cole @AndyCole84 "Sir. SIR." Follow 12:50 PM 5 Jan 2018 - 421 1 48K 81K JAPAGATBA РАЗВИВАЙСЕ Eur

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Moar:

We're getting scammed

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Migraines...

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Who's next?!

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.

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Cavemen

blue✔ @bluewmist Why do men love putting their bed in the corner of the bedroom? Kurz @Kurz_Prime Maximize floor space and sleeping next to a wall reminds us of a cave.

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Ouch

They took this away from us and gave us dating apps instead. I will bring back galas. Poe's Law, Esq: Poe's Lawyer @dyingscribe These still exist. You're just not invited to them, like how you wouldn't have been back then

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Nice one

Iva Lon I'm just remembering that my second year in America, someone asked me to "validate their parking," which was my first time hearing the phrase, and after blinking stupidly in silence for a full five seconds I said "Well parking is really hard but I'm sure you did it really well"

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That's one way to do it

Will Manidis @WillManidis Follow X discovered a buddy from college gaslit himself into loving running by applying a nicotine patch everytime he ran, and only when he ran on his fifth marathon • • 7:36 pm 26 Nov 2023 7.6M Views

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Who cares?

shanyar+ @salmanshanyar If your parent approve of your marriage but your grandparents and uncles didn't, would you still get married? Rydz @KingRydz Might as well ask the postman too if I'm taking everyone's opinion

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Agreed

Lazzyyyyyy What's the most boomer complaint you have? Lyle Rath Stop making me make accounts. A lightbulb that changes colors shouldn't590 require an account. A TV speaker shouldn't require an account.

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Jarring

Steeven Jay @steeve_again The fact that Elvis was drafted into the military at the height of his stardom is so crazy to me. Like imagine you're in the middle of a war and ya hear someone shout "cover me" and it's Beyoncé

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This is true

Janel Comeau @VeryBadLlama "young people can't buy homes because they'd rather buy big fancy TVS" I am begging older generations to understand that televisions have gone from "a thing that costs 4 months' salary" to "a thing you get for free when your roommate moves and can't be bothered to take it"

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So...

brendaaa I'm on the bus and this guy is so fine but he has an iPhone 6 therealestone And you're on a bus

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0

Twitter / X - Thanks, dad

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lena @notlena my dad thinks i have a secret boyfriend and said word-for-word to me "youve been consistently single for a suspicious amount of time"... no dad boys just dont like me thanks for REMINDING ME on this nice saturday night

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