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Uploaded by /\/00b May 17, 2012 at 08:17PM EDT
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![⠀ Anonymous (ID: VMADXFCK) [+] >>461130422 (OP) # 03/08/24(Fri)17:10:27 No.461130566 will his casket lowering into the ground take f------ 5 episodes? >>461130762 # >>461132185 # >>461134825 # >>461136814 # >>461142984 # >>461148773 # >>461149781 # >>461149843 # >>461150715 # >>461152091 #](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/774/314/7a1.jpeg "Anon attends Akira Toriyama's funeral")
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![File: 1331696319.ipa-(57 KB, 599x570) Anonymous (ID: IOuQJt8b) 03/13/12(Tue)23:38:39 No.386748559 [Reply] I'm a f------ p---- /bl. I need to grow a pear in this life. 5 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click Reply to view OAnonymous (ID: Jsvs/x95) 03/13/12(Tue)23:41:45 No.386749182 I recommend planting some seeds.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/293/208/c53.png "c53.png")
![| mwing (13 KB, 250x265) idh googs tg 껀 Anonymous 07124/12mue)01:01 No 20013482]'] Alright, since I didnt see one, its time for an awesome games thread DM: Okay guys, time to start the game. What are you guys playing? Friend. Im playing a dwarven barbarian. He liked booze a little too much and got kicked out of his mountainhome Me: Well, ah, Ialso rolled up a barbarian. He's a human though, who's lived in the shadow of the same mountain his entire life but never knew there were dwarves there. That's how me and Friend 1 met OM Okay. DM. Huh, okay. I guess we can make it work. And what about you guys? sounds good. How about you 3 and 4 all Friend 3 Wel、uh、we all rolled barbanans too The DM looks at all of us, then rites through his notes for the next couple of sessions and throws away about hall of t campaign Anonymous 07/24/12(Tuel01 22 No 20013638 1 ▼ ] 20013w§ >>20015049 since you guys asked. nI start with a bit of These guys have been my friends for a long time now. They were the frst peaple I ever played D&D with, and i had been quite some time since rd roleplayed with them. So, when my friend who had usualy been a player suggested we all try and play There are six of us, including the DM. Me, who will be Anon for the purposes of this story, Friend 1, who shall be J, Friend 2, who shall be T, Friend 3, who shall be G, and Friend 4, who shall be M Now, I was usually the ona to play the DEX characters, roguas, rangers and the lke, so I saw this game as a chance to change up my playing style. However, we're all pretty tucking bad at communication and were pretty busy peopla, so we didnt realy talk about the kind of characters we wold be playing |ロAnonymous 07/24/12Tue101 35 No 20013745 [*) >>20013704 2220013775 2220013824 >>20013946 So the day finally roiled around we all show up on time with our dice and our character sheats and take our seats around the table. Ater the shock of the intial realzation, we laugh it off and stat playing OM So the fi of you are seated across form the Adjudicator of the city. He gazes balefully at you . J: Im sorry, but my character's NT score is 7. What do those words mean? DM: Adjudic-ator is man who make law Balefuly is angnily M:shufing a sheaf of papers between his hands. Looking at you again balef.er, angnly, he tells you that there are a number of criminals that need to be apprehended He stands up and hands you the ist The DM gives me a handwritten list of names, descriptions, reasons for warrant, and bounty amounts.I turn it over in my hands, staning intently at the paper from all angles, then turn to the DM Me.. .Thragmam cant read giggle again. The DM sighs 1 Anonymous 07/24/12 Tue 01 58 No 20013946 [ 222001424 2220014609 G. My character can. He has an INT score of 12 G: It's trua His name is Ser Grogg, Esquire. He's a nobleman... of sorts DM IREALLY should have looked aver your characters beforehand, but all right Continue. G proceeds to read out the list of criminals while we listen, completely enraptured by his ability to read, which is a foreign concept to all of our characters. After a bet of bickering. we decide the first person we're going to track down is a horse thief who's Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue02 24 No 20014240 [▼1-20014514 >>20014602 Sorry this is taking so long. Tm weting from memory and Tm not the astest typer Fast forwarding a bit. Ater a ong ride out to the hideout of the horse thier, during wtich we praised Grogg& lot for his 8stounding sbiity to read, we Snaly get to the cave system he'd been using (a latle cliched,I know, but the DM is a fan of such things). We dismount, and after a few minutes of planning, decide that we're going to try and sneak up to the entrance DM Wel, the thief has a couple of semries posted M Okay guys, I have an idea. Let's disguise one of us as a tree and sneak up on them. idea M roils a disguise check, and we assist him, giving him a +4 to disguise himsef as a tree. He rolls a 13, which gives him a 17 to the roll, making it a success. His rall to sneak, hawever, is another story, he rols a 6, which takes a 2 because he's disguised DM. The sentries notice you We all look at M ike he's gone bananas. J: You said you were a barbarianl Ha than proceeds to tel us how his barbarian pulls out his arcane-carved stick, wave it around chanting nonsense for a few seconds, then point it at the two guards, shouting "SLEEP NOWT Both M's barbarian and the guards are perplaxed, the barbarian because he doesnt know why the spell didn't work, and the guards because they don't know what the f--- is happening So Ms barbanan dd the only thing a barbanan would possibly do in th硝stuatan get frustrated and bash m over the head with his "wzard staff knocking them out cold I wasnt realy expecting to storytime, I was just making a cool games thread We love this tum of events, and even the DM cracks a grin at the creative roleplaying We decide that there's no reason for us to even attempt to sneak around inside the hideout, and instead opt to break down the door We cleave and bash our way through plenty of baddies, eventualy reaching the chambers of the horse thief DM: His chambers ane draped in all sorts of cloth and chains, with arcane scrawls adoming the wals. There are boolics everywhere, and atop a tall pedestal a skull wth a pentagram on the forehead glares down at you with a malevolent air He proceeds to read off s long, impressive speech by the horse thie about the coming of the end of all things. After patiently waiting it out, we initiste combat, quickly kiling the fragile NPC, and hack of his head and thumbs T: Okay, let's get out of here DM But don't you want to look und some more? G: We already gat everything af value out of this place, let's just take af Me: Dude, we're f------ barbarians. What the hell are we going to do with books? Anonymous 07/24/120Tue)03 06 No 200146141 ▼] >2200146苴>220014631 The DM hufts, but cant realy do anything to stop us since he abhors ralroadng. So we stnike back out towards the town, savered head and thumbs dangling in a sack off the side of the horse Over the course of the game, which unfortunately only lasted about a two dozen or so sessions due to college getting in the way and respective jobs imiting our time, we collect each of these outlaws, and each time they have a pretty similar setup going on a seemingy mundane criminal in possession of a great deal of magical tems. And, each tima without tal, our simplig minds would miss out on the connection, get distracted by shiny things and other macguftns, and fal to notity anyone of import But, I have to tell you, t was a hell of a ride The dwart was tossed on mutiple occasions, and in one instance ended up inside the guts of a giant. He proceedad to hack is way up through his body, cut the heart out of it, and burst out of his chest, screeching then take a tremendous bte out of the stil-beating organ. We were all a bt more atsid of him sher that. Probably my finest moment in combst roiling occurred during this campsign, too, we were fighting a group of Greater Barghests, and had just been disarmed. Not about to lay down and let these things eat my face, I rolled a 19 on a Strength check to grab the nearest one by the tail and swing it about, bashing the other Barghests into the negatives.I wasnt content with just that, though; thare was still one standing ater that, so I rolled a motharfucking nat 20 and, in a scene straight out of Dort Fot, tossed the Barghest theough the other Barghest But I Despite our best efforts to continue meeting the time finally came when our boisterous group of brawny barbarians was to disband. We'd proven our worth a hundred times over to the townspeople, so they were awarding each of us with a small parcel of Ser Grogg would fnally be a real lord, with real peasants and real holdings, and Urist Meadbeard the dwarf could have his very own, genuine dwarven tavem to destroy every night in a drunken rage and build back up again in the moming. Theagmar was not content to settle down, so he planned to sell the land, get an even bigger axe with the money, and find the legendary plane of Ysgard, where he could fight, drink, and wench far all eternity. He eventually got there, but that's another game entirely. Rolf became the most tamous Muscle Wizard in the land, and planned to use his gold, land, and influance to start a school for his unique brand of magic But fate, the DM, and our good tend J. had other plans 352 KB, 1062x706) idb g9g 20014681 His grin was absolutely malicious as he sat behind his screen and descibed the calamity that befell us as we were awarded our holdings. It was as if he'd finally found a way to get back at us for derailing his campaign so completely so spectacularly, that there was no way in hell he was going to finish it the way he'd planned to So he decided to try and do the next be轼thing Ka al of our character What it boiled down to was this Each of the outlaws had been part of the same malevolent cuit seeking to resurrect a forgotten beast which slumbered beneath the township. Its name had been lost to the ages, but pictures had M sun ed, and some ht bulb decided he wanted to see this th firsthand Fortun ely for us, the cult sts had mucked up their spels without being able to Sgure out how to get the spell to acti ate u ortunately for us, behid our backs J and the had conspired to make J the final piece of the puzzle, which would swaken the slumbering monster and (hopefully) kill us al DM: As you stand atop the stage, cheenng throngs of townspeople all around you, you're all suddenly jostled out of tha way UI shove the party aside and toss the mayor a ay from the pedestal下0 s! You co ne here on this day fo celebration B 시 a heart, falling here to tel you that this day he alds your doo r with those words da " y longs or and pl nge it through my own Our f------ faces when s 07/24/12(Tue)03 40 No 20014776 [ 2220014796 222001487s 2220014 1 341755551419-34176Lu凶(23 KB. 414x356) Ladb gooule DM The gound quakes and be ns t ng apart a great groaning and ashing a teeth nging upfrom the crack ng earth wo hundred yards away, a tre section of the town disappears sliding beneath the ground as something massive stirs. Moments later, from within the bowels of the earth, the Uenamed One rises, Rs many tentacles whipping about its head in a bloody frenzy as its eons-long slumber inaly ends. The townspeople scream and panic running in every direction in their primal fear Women and children scream and cry, the old and weak are trampled underfoot, and men go mad at the sight of such a monstrosity t opens its seven gaping maws, looses a mighty roar you Again, our tucking faces when 1回Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue)03 59 No 20014875 [リー20014300 >>20014905 20014776 We all rol reasonably well I gat a 16, M gats a 15, G gats a 19, and T rolls a 13 Unfortunately, the DM knew we'd do fairly well on our initiatives, so to counteract the penalty to intiative that Massive creatures take, he stacked Improved Initiative on the monster something like five times, and it went first. Luckily, he gave us this ound to prepare, as it would take at least two turns for the beast to get over to where we were. We want into a quick huddla, made our plan, and stood our ground against the charge Have you ever imagined what it would be like to be beset upon by a kraken, when you're armed only with a greatsword of magic power and dubious origin? How about f that kraken was on land, could cast several level 3 spels as ablities, eschewing both ma enals and somatic components and dd 3d 10+35 dama e per swing? That's what it was o fi ting this monster tall you if we hadnt undered an a nazng amount a gold from each of the hideouts de to 植fiat 1n treasure eneration, we wo dn't have stood a chance. As t was, we were getting pummeled, and we needed to end it tast. So T passes me a note. I look at him, and solemnly nod my head 220014875 DM: Anon, the round passes to you. What are your actions? T 1jest want ye to know, twas the greatest honor I ever knew 5ghtin slongside ye Me: I feel tears well up in my eyes, and I see them welling up in Urist's too. I hand him my Portable Hale, and he takes out his Bag of Halding T "Now toss me, you sodding moron, one last time I rolled. I wish I could say it was a natural twenty, because by Kord, Urist deserved t. But it wasnt. It was a nineteen. With my strength modider, and the feat from Complete Warrior that lets you toss things better, that added up to a 31 Ma: I spin Urist around, tears streaming down my face into my beard as I do so, and toss him into the gaping maw af the Unnamad Ona DM T, the round passes to you. You take 23 points of crushing damage and 47 points of acid damage, which brings you to three HP The DM looks at us, then at his notes, then leans back in his chai DM A portal opens up, sucking you and the Unnamed One into the Astral Plane ]回Anonymous 07/24/12(Tue)04 11 No20014937 I'] 22200149矼2220020012 20014905 We all passed our strength checks to avoid being sucked through, miraculously. Everyone was quiet for a few minutes after that. The DM looked as if he was cycing between pure, unadukerated fury and helpless adoration at the defeat of his EBEG. J just loolked sulen; he wanted us to die with him, not defeat the monster in such an epic way The town buit a statue to men a ze Unst or his sacrifce. To this day, the township and the other party members like to think he's on some better plane. one with lots of booze and fi ting. I know better thou because as turned out he was But, ike I said before, that's a story for another day](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/000/822/391/e36.png "e36.png")
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Uploaded May 17, 2012 at 08:17PM EDT
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