Infomercial Fails - Scientifically Proven

I don't mean to damper the fun here, but god these images make me sick with memories. You see, I was involved in these "scientific" tests. The manufacturer commissioned our lab to perform these tests. I don't work there anymore, but I can't say the name of the lab. We tested with men, women, children even. All the failed prototypes, the mangled limbs, the disfigured bodies carted off to the morgue. Every day, I had to wipe tears from my eyes just so I could use the retinal security scanner. The other scientists rolled their eyes every time I excused myself to the bathroom so that I could vomit in disgust. But we got it to work in the end. So was it worth it? Was that "scientifically proven" notice worth all the blood on my hands? I just don't know.

I don't trust gyrating shirtless men unless science.