Notes:

Meh. I understand that 99.99% of you don't understand this comic at all, and that's perfectly okay. My old explanation was pretty s-----, so have a new one:

Super Smash Brothers Brawl has an online system where you can either:
>Brawl with friends
>Brawl with strangers.
This comic describes a Brawl with strangers, and here's where the "gurl gamer" stuff comes in.
So yeah, there's no mic system. You can't communicate in a way other than in-game controls.
So what makes the gurl gamers gurl gamers?
Well, you aren't supposed to tell what gender your opponent is. That's not the point; you're supposed to fight.
But gurl gamers do exactly the opposite.
They choose either Peach, Zelda, or Zero Suit Samus, and taunt continuously, spam crouches, and fool around instead of playing the game the way you're supposed to. They walk up to people using male characters (half of the time, a female gamer like me) and crouch continuously. They're basically making it clear: "I'm a girl and I'm playing Brawl. Give me attention."
Also, they don't expect you to fight. They f------ expect you to go easy on them or just flat-out not attack them because they're using a female character. If they crouch to you and you don't crouch back, THEY WILL F------ ASSAULT YOU. And that's not a bad thing, because they suck c--- at the game! They're just playing it for attention!
Gurl gamers and these girls playing Brawl are exactly the same thing:
Attention w----- seeking praise for playing a video game just because they have a f------ vagina.

If you've never played Brawl, fine! You won't get it.
If you've never encountered this type of player in Brawl, you won't get it.
If you've read my passage and you still don't f------ get, don't f------ get it.

That's okay.
Brawl online sucks because of people like this, and you don't want to go there.