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BACON o) OMING ett So my foots totally stuck in there night, Im freaking out, the dog's having a seizure and I still got half a pie left rlyhigh ardaesque you don't understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter.I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn't eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher's house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it's a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn't find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I'd recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So l bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed to go. Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn't stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I'd just shrug and say it was Josh's fault or something, but let's get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would've blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it'd make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it'd be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer's dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself. So my foot's totally stuck in there right, I'm freaking out, the dog's having a seizure and I still got half a pie left. i feel it necessary to reblog since i just read that whole thing

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bunney if ur hair covers ur bu have mermaid hair and are a mermaid i dont make the rules unclewhisky As a man with a hairy chest, I was very, very confused by this post for about ten seconds. sashaforthewin You are a mermaid, sir 80
zagreus Jun 16, 2022 Shoutout to the comedy duo of TSA agents I just encountered, one of whom called me "sir," the other of whom called me "ma'am," both of whom apologized in unison, each thinking the other was right ✓ somewhere-south-of-neutral Follow Aug 9 New henchpeople idea dropped 105,711 notes on
dio-brando-did-nothi... happym... Follow January 5th 2017, 7:24:19 pm a minute ago Speedwagon I didn't think this would turn into such a bizarre adventure. porunareff everybody take a shot 4,652 notes > D
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Uploaded May 28, 2014 at 10:14PM EDT

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mrcreepypasta, drake and josh

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