Jokes on you, I've never walked dogs, donated blood OR helped the homeless and I still get laid!
(No but seriously the trick to attracting members of the same or opposite sex is to not be a gigantic cunt, being a perfect god-child delivered from the heavens by Jesus himself is an unreasonable life goal for anyone who isn't Tom Hanks)

So we got a fat SJW Fedroa Atheism Plus Brony Dewrito Gamer 4chan Shitposting Cuckhold Friendzonee?

I can't even tell how one can be all these without exploding.