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So this is how it goes:

1) I pick a superpower.
2) The person below must think of a one-liner in theme with the power (i.e. guy with cryokinesis says "Chill out" or something). The person then must also pick a superpower for the next user.

To start this thread, I'll pick Bird Control.

better control those birds!

mind control

MDF EDIT: I'm still in this post, madcat. You cannot stop me.

e: who let these mods into my post

MDF EDIT: Some guy asked madcat in the IRC to change your post so it fit with the game, because that is something we can and should do obviously. Meanwhile, I use my powers to do precisely nothing useful or acceptable.

e: oh i see

"Think about what you're doing."

My turn: Power over paper/papyrkinesis , like Konan from Naruto.

Paper. More like, GAYper xDDDD

Power to cook gooses

"You're gonna get roasted like a Christmas goose!"

Dildo summoning.

You're fucked.

Pyrokinesis/control over fire.

"Is it hot in here or is it just me?"

Darkness manipulation.

"Lights out"

Power to turn into inanimate objects.

"Stay."

Fez summoning.

"These hats give me the advantage, you see, because I'm already A HEAD!"

High Jump Powers

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
I'm not very good at this.
The power to teleport so that your penis is up people's butts.

"Hey there what's UP"
The ability to fill anything up.

"Let me fill you up!"

Lighting control

Thanks for…keeping current!
Looks like it might be time..to bolt!
Consider yourself…DISSSSSSSSSSSSCHARGED
Electrifying, no?

Necromancy

"You died."
The power to make tastebuds appear in people's butts.

Reconsider your shitty taste in behavior.

The power to fly downwards at 56 m/s after jumping off of things.

The power of levitating objects, other than yourself, with the simple sway of your hands

Need a lift?

The power to control water

"I'll make you wet"
The power to turn anything into bacon

Don't go BACON my heart…

Time Travel ability

My biggest problem with time travel is: How many days would you pack for?

. . .

Virgins.

Don't screw this over.
Telefragging.

"Corn."

Don't worry, it's just a phase

Extreme luck.

Congrats, you're now a leprechaun.
The Power to slow down time.

You've gotta go fast.

Make anything fall asleep.

"Sweet dreams!"

A sweet raspy voice.