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You are a stickman with a EXTREMELLY manly face and you are currently trapped in the boring as fuck Real life.

You can do whatever you want, but props if you don't pierce the heavens in the first page. RNGesus will decide so it doesn't matter how insane or boring your post is.
I guess our stickman needs a name..or he can just jump through that window and punch a kangaroo on the junk

go through the box of fucking surprises of epic proportions to see what is in it exactly.

Your name is Poopoo Buttercup

Break the Window with the Box

Go buy a gun and raid the bank

Take the fire from the mattress and put it in your inventory.

Jump out of the window. Punching Kangaroos in the junk are far more important than having a name.

Retrieve arms from chest.

Lets see what our god, the RNGesus, lord of all the possibilities, has to say.

Jellopy has been blessed by the RNGesus!

NOW THAT'S THE PROPER WAY TO CHANGE YOUR NAME BOYS, YOU BURST INTO THE SOCIAL OFFICE AND SCREAM "I SHALL BE KNOWN AS POOPO BUTTERCUP"
Becouse you decided to LEGALLY change your name instead of PUNCHING A KANGAROO IN THE JUNK , you got some positive karma! MECHANICS TOTALLY NOT STOLEN FROM FALLOUT

Good karma means you are a PUSSY but in a good way. Honest actions and stuff that don't involve killing, manslaughtering, junk-kicking, dismembering, etc, all of that gives you delicious positive karma. You might get some allies and people will respect you as if you were some kind of god.
Bad Karma means you are a BADASS son of a prostitute. Murdering, junk-biting, shitposting, yadda yadda yadda, all of that gives you BADASS- err BAD karma. You might hire some thugs and people will SHIT their pants just by MENTIONING your first name.
Now that you know what karma is, what is Poopoo going to do next?
You are in the middle of some boring ass city and you just walked out of that office.
And remember, killing is fun- err bad!
EDIT: Karma will also give you some interesting skill as well but you gotta get more karma for that to happen

Pick up that cat that's in the middle of the road for some reason.

Pick up the cat and cuddle with it, BUT MANLY

Furiously stroke the cat.

Throw the cat into space.

"You Are Reading This" has been blessed by the RNGesus

LET ME LOVE YOU, YOU FLUFFY BALL OF CUTENESS
Becouse of BORING UNIMPORTANT VERY SPECIFIC REASONS you decided to pick up a cat in the middle of the street becouse WHY NOT? Cats are awesome and thats all that matters. But MAN , you couldn't hold your love for this particular cat and you decided to STROKE IT FURIOUSLY

CRAP
The cat did, in fact, NOT explode into a million of tiny red squishy bits, the cat just got really fucking mad like a new brand member who just discovered the Goat and he expected dank memes. The cat got MAD as HELL. It actually turned into a HELL CAT

WE HAVE SUMMONED A HELL CAT. HE CAME TO THE MORTAL LANDS TO FEAST ON DELICIOUS HUMANS
Our karma can wait boys, what are we gonna do?
Join the hell cat in his quest for world conquest and get eventually nuked?
Brutally murder the hell cat by training a kangaroo to kick him in the junk?
Return to home and watch tv?
Attempt to summon another elder god?
BORING APOCALIPTIC CHOICE TIME

Mount it while continuing to pet it

Train Mighty Joe John the Eldritch Abomination-fighting kangaroo to destroy the hellcat.

Activate a trap card.

Calculate how 200% MAD it is.

Feed it. WITH EXPLOSIONZ

Ted the Espurr has been blessed by the holiness of the RNGesus! We shall feed the hell cat with EXPLOSIONS

But not ANY kind of cheap ass explosion! A cat like this needs a bowl of the finest explosions that only Hollywood can produce. Poopo Buttercup decided to feed the cat with Michael Bay's reused explosions!

Welp, IT ACTUALLY WORKED
BOYS, WE GOT OURSELVES A FRIENDLY HELL CAT. Hell cat is so damn happy he could give you a hug but that would burn your bloody flesh and turn you into bacon. We kept giving the cat explosions until Michael Bay ran out of them. Now he doesn't have enough explosions for his movies so we just cancelled Transformers 5. Good job boys!
LETS CHECK OUR KARMA NOW

Perks are awesome..
What..
Do you honestly expect me to explain what perks are exactly?
TOO BAD
They are just really fricking bloody awesome..
well..that depends on what you want to do hehe.
Well, we have a friendly Hell Cat, we just pissed off Michael Bay and we might have ran out of explosions for the rest of the thread. ..AND NOW WHAT? WHAT TO DO NEXT?

Search the Hell Cat's anus for something to kill Micheal Bay with before he kills us.

Create an army of explosive junk-kicking kangaroos and set out to defeat Michael Bay.

Keep feeding it Michael Bay's explosions and create a big-ass-mega-hell cat.

Make your own Transformers 5, with blackjacks and hookers.
The Plot by default would still be better than what Michael Bay would ever direct.

Name the kitty "Jamestown".
Play SSB4 with it.

Soundwave has been blessed by the RNGesus. We are going to win a lot of money with this one boys!

You decided to make your own Transformers 5. You kidnapped a bunch of 3d modellers and animators, then you hired actual voice ACTORS and Morgan Freeman to voice your 3D abominations. While the Transformers team never trusted you, you managed to prove them wrong by releasing the greatest transformers movie ever created. The fans came, the world came and even Michael Bay left a couple of stains on his bed. It was glorious.
Gentlemen
I present you
TRANSFORMERS 5: THE COMMUNIST MENACE

This movie had everything: Robot hookers, blackjack, Las Vegas Space Ship, a lot of actual robotic sex scenes, rock and roll, communists, glorious 'Murican propaganda and Stalin the Communist abomination.
den outta den
Best movie of the century.
With Morgan Freeman as Stalin.
Tumblr, twitter and facebook exploded with Transformers 5 fanart
Lot of shipping as well.
and the best part..

IT PRINTS MONEY LIKE NO TOMORROW
We have so much dosh, so much dosh. We might as well buy a country or a giant robot.
What's next?

Spend all the money on ice cream.

Use the money to hire a team of super scientists to give Hell Cat many over the top and ridiculous cybernetic upgrades with an emphasis on weaponized friendship.

Utilize your vast pools of money to create your own mercenary army and take over a small nation that won't be missed.

Buy and install a bunch of NANOMACHINES, SON in your butt and fight crime

Loquacious Leviathan has been blessed by the glory of our god, the RNGesus.

Poopoo Buttercup used his TRANSFORMERS money to buy NANOMACHINES, and then he INSTALLED a good amount of them up his ass and now he is FUCKING INVINCIBLE . Now nothing can stop you, unless well, mexican cyborg ninjas.

You decided to use your recently adquired powers to FIGHT CRIME.
YOU ARE THE LAW
But what are we going to fight first?
Drug dealers? Social justice warriors? ISIS? KYM mods?

ARE WE GONNA PUNCH THAT KANGAROO IN THE JUNK OR WHAT?!

Go destroy KYM

Fight against Drug dealing ISIS social justice KYM mods who are made of steel and diamond and also have rocket launchers on their back.

Find the KYM users controlling my actions, engage them in epic battle for thinking they could play God with my life.

PUNCH THAT KANGAROO IN THE BAWLS

BURN THE KYM MODS

Destroy the internet

Rek skrubz on advenced welfare

Go to the nearest power plant and force them to turn off all the power for the orphanages. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Utilize your nano-dick as a sabre and lay the filthy kym mods to rest with your zandatsu skills!

HoneyTiger has been blessed by the mighty RNGesus! We are all going to get permabanned.

Poopo Buttercup decided to use his newly found powers to BURN EVERY FUCKING KYM MOD
HOWEVER ..One of them tried to fight back..


It was futile.
The KYM community hates us now but TOO BAD ..I GUESS NOBODY CARES . Not a single website mourns the deaths of the mods. Rest in PEPPERONI you wortheless bastards.
Without mods, KYM quickly became a FETISH warehouse. Rule 34' gallery skyrocketed and Riff Raff became /b/
So, we just destroyed a website..now what?
Also, you might wanna check your karma while you do something else….we might've unlocked something..and by "might've unlocked something" , I mean DO IT FUCKER, CHECK YOUR KARMA TO SEE HOW GOOD / BAD YOU ARE

Don't check the karma. Just stand there, do nothing, and don't check the karma

Check my Karma, see what I've unlocked, and find a way to use it for mass destruction. And maybe get a bagel, haven't eaten since getting trapped in the boring real world.

Check karma, see what you've unlocked, then use the unlocked thing to repeatedly hit a kangaroo in the junk until it explodes.

Let's go get some waffles!

EAT YOUR KARMA

Become one with the karma, becoming the karma in the process and fuck with people's karma

Use the HELL CAT to destroy the KARMA METER.

Clone yourself. How? NANOMACHINES SON!!!!