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KYM rap thread

Last posted Nov 10, 2012 at 01:45PM EST. Added Oct 26, 2012 at 05:52PM EDT
93 posts from 23 users

>Goes to SoundCloud dashboard

>1 Incoming Track

>‘Irc Swag’

>What is this, I don’t even

>Finds thread about it on KYM


I don’t rap, I just can’t. The only piece of rapping that I know off by heart is “Fire fire, we’ll set this place on fire, without a match or lighter..”

That’s it. (Can you tell which song that’s from?)

Oct 26, 2012 at 06:17PM EDT
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I don’t always listen to rap, but when I do, it’s in French. Because it flows better IMO.

Last edited Oct 26, 2012 at 06:19PM EDT
Oct 26, 2012 at 06:19PM EDT
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What kind of rap is this? Your rhymes just aren’t here.
But my lyrics bring this thread up to a whole new tier!
I’m not gonna go and click on all your links, ‘m I right?
Heck for all I know you’ll send me to some goatse site!
“Now wait here, Serious,” you’ll all begin to say,
“You can’t go and make make our thread degenerate that way!”
Well, what you gonna do? My rhythm can’t be knocked!
And I’ll be typing what I want to til this thread gets locked!

Oct 26, 2012 at 07:21PM EDT
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Yo. Yeah. Yuh. Uh-huh.
Yo, I’m Jack to the Candle
My lyrics are golden
My skill can’t be handled
Check the trophy I’m holdin’

Don’t need hands to be fresh
Got that citrus-y swagger
I’m a legend, in the flesh
Don’t like grocery baggers

Official Pokemon master
My skills are no joke
I can catch ’em all faster
Than Gary M. Oak

So just take your best shot
Cuz I’m pretty much perfect
I’m the hottest of the hot
Don’t think so? Get your eyes checked

Oct 26, 2012 at 07:31PM EDT
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You still don’t know your meme, you wouldn’t stand a chance
against the guy whose avatar is Hampsterdance!
I’m such an oldfag that I saw Bubb Rubb live!
I saw the web get born and now I see it thrive.

I was old by Numa Numa and the Star Wars Kid
before advice animals and the Kony vid!
I’ve got so much web cred, I’ve never SEEN the street!
But by seniority I’ve got all you dweebs beat!

I just realized I’ve committed to a lengthy stay
now I’ll have to check the forum every hour each day
just to make sure I can keep up with competitors
who still think that SWAG and YOLO are for redditors.

In some threads I’ve seen they go on rapping page by page,
though some might go on longer (it can change with age)
and now I think that I’m regretting starting this rap fight.
Cause I hate to be the guy who ends it with “good night!”

But I’m sorry that my time to go is getting close,
‘f I go for any longer they’ll call me “verbose”!
So I need to end my tirade with some awesome joke,
Cause my friend here Candleja

Oct 26, 2012 at 08:39PM EDT
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Abandon thread, because here comes the police
It’s time to bring the coolness to a 20% increase
Keep the peace? Usually, but now I’m gonna get violent
Sit back, and I have to ask you to remain silent
Flawless and preventing lawlessness
Slightly off-beat, but come back and manage to pack heat nonetheless
Oranges can’t rhyme, nothing rhymes with “orange” after all
Make some fresh juice and then maybe hold a conference call
Drink Jack with my coworkers and overflow my glass
Developing disorders all the while of my rhymes, first-class
This impairs oranges from understanding the frequency
Of the lyrics on the level which I’m at, rather unbelievably
Hard to believe because oranges don’t have ears to begin with
I’ll let him dictate to me a letter to notify his next of kin with
Because I’m gonna kill him, he’s gonna feel the adrenaline and
To ease the pain require some alternative medicine in
His orange veins, it hurts his brain as I’m playing mind games
In terms of acclaim, Jack Candle is no Saint James
Had enough? It’s OK, calm down, I’m almost finished
I may have laid you out, and had your ego diminished
Now get back in the kitchen, I’d suggest you surrender
And you meet my good friend, Jack, his name is The Blender.

Serious Business, listen to my quickness
I won’t ask forgiveness when I spread my lyrics’ sickness
Cancer to combat wannabe Internet gangsters who think they can be rappers
I’ll slap you so hard with master matters, when I’m done you’ll feel a little backwards
Saw the web get born? You say that you also got to see it flourish?
Brush up on your lyrical skills, food for thought ‘cause your rhyming rigor is malnourished
Your avatar is a GIF of a dancing hamster
He’s not a good dancer, AND he’s Internet cancer
I suppose the same could be said for you with your claims of being old
Well, I’m new, and I’m more annoying than a common cold
Because your mind becomes hazed, you’re a little bit jaded
You know not who I am, and your hippocampus is invaded
Your brain is pressurized and forced to memorize
Every last line, you’re terrorized and at the same time mesmerized
You think YOU’RE verbose? I’m waxing poetic and being wordy
But keepin’ it clean with my rhymes, I see no need for getting dirty
Effectively, I confound you with my excessively ethically extremity
Integrity’s important, so I maintain a tendency
To be honest, and honestly, your rhymes deserve the death penalty
Somebody tell opspe that my stuff flows chemically! What is this, chemistry?
There is no remedy for getting rained upon this thoroughly
I’ve beaten you a bit, OK, a lot, more than just “narrowly”

It’s gotta sting to be Sting and to call an inb4
That I won’t fulfill, I prefer to drop bombs like this is a World War
My amount of swagger makes RandomMan stagger
Hey, Quantum Meme, why not post something with actual subject matter?
When people see how obviously I destroy Alex
They can predict that he’ll change his name, get plastic surgery and move to Dallas
OK, now I’m just rambling and leaving my opponents scrambling
For comebacks they think that I may find challenging
To retort to, I distort the sport
Of rap, my words hurt like a genital wart

OK, I’m done. I hope you all have enjoyed being flattened
My skill just about causes the sky overhead to blacken
Now you can all return to your kiddy contest
I’ll laugh out of pity, but remain unimpressed
Leaving now, but I’ll see you all about
The Just For Fun forum, homies. Fun Police out.

Oct 26, 2012 at 11:52PM EDT
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This post has been hidden due to low karma.
Click here to show this post.

Aaaawww yeah! Twi-leezy bout to get down in da thread! K-Y-M! Yeah, and let’s go-

All you faggots callin’ that rap, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet
My rhymes will knock you out hard, on that you better bet
I’m the Lord of this thread, and of this site at that
I’m gonna lay it out now so let’s cut the chitchat
Alex, get out, you know you ain’t no true rapper
After all, we all know ‘bout how you’re a fucking loser

Mister Bizness ain’t so srs, he ain’t even a threat
He prolly didn’t click my link just to make me upset
But my jimmies ain’t rustled, I ain’t even mad
He’s only been here five months, claiming oldfag is just sad.
Bitch I’ve been here two years, coming up on three
When the subject is memes there ain’t much better than me!
I came right after the cheeto, and saw the ’net find stars
I got to see 4chan make memes like Ford makes cars.

I only got respect in here for the eldest, like Jack
But even to that orange I need to talk some smack
Boy you say you got swag, but come on, you’re a fruit
How’ll you be a G with no arms, now that you can’t refute.
Don’t need no eye exam, I’m a perfect 20/20
I see that you’re hiding citrus inadequacy.

Now for you, Fun Police, and dis one gon’ be gud
Cause your rhymes don’t flow at all, you shoulda left when you could
now Twi-leezy playin’ loud, comin’ through yo earpiece
And he knows you ain’t got shit, he sayin’ “F da Police”!
Your boasts are ok, but the rhythm needs some work
And I’d be glad to school ya, show you my handiwork.

Now that y’all seen the master at work, I got one comment for you-
If you be stupid enough to take that on, you’ve got low IQ.
What you’ve just seen here is a rap that can’t be beat
Mods, just lock the thread, better’s a futile feat.

Last edited Oct 27, 2012 at 02:47AM EDT
Oct 27, 2012 at 02:45AM EDT
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Man, stfu twiliitlord. More like gay lord.

M on my own accord, I own all these boards .

Fuck out my site,
I guess there is something moar gay than twilight.

Trying to call me out
On my own thread
I’m the rap battle king
Just for fun ill take your head
Bitch you claiming that you’re old or something?
who the fuck are you?? pretending that you’re stunting
I make big hits,
You over here bunting.
Fuck you and you karma
I been here for a long stay
If I had it my way
I’d dance on you like it’s payday
No way?
Bitchplz
Me and Patrick will have down on both knees
Hoe plz
Put your ass on the mic and you sound like puberty.
Saying they need to lock my thread?
They never will.
Rather drop a block n your head.
Mods just strait kill.

Also, for the record.

Bitches wanna front like am a loser.
That’s an inside joke.
Between me and random man
Whom which you never spoke.
Sit down kid, and learn something
Read all the way to page three.
Come back another day
Until you know me

WHO THE FUcK iS TWILITLORD?
Pls tell me. I’m drawing blanks…

mod edit

Wheatley is on point

Last edited Oct 27, 2012 at 07:06AM EDT
Oct 27, 2012 at 07:01AM EDT
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This post has been hidden due to low karma.
Click here to show this post.

“Hey, Quantum Meme, why not post something with actual subject matter?”

>Implying that’s all I do and am famous for

I can’t believe you would single me out in some folklore

‘Fun Police’? This is the fun you cease, I can’t believe you would make such a mistake with all this fun that you decide to take.

/rappingreply

Last edited Oct 27, 2012 at 08:00AM EDT
Oct 27, 2012 at 07:54AM EDT
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Well, will ya look at that! It appears that you guys came back
For more, it would seem somebody hasn’t checked the score!
Nothing too long here, just here to make my point
Twilitlord tries to diss me? I am disappoint.
School me? Take a seat, class is in session
Witness me perform a lyrical transgression
Then I can just laugh at your facial expression
And soon after, treat you for your clinical depression

Quantum, you need to relax. It’s all in good fun
I’m just spitting out words like a submachine gun
My staple and trademark is “No offense intended”
So I sincerely apologize if you were offended
I take fun and I squeeze the life force out of it
When I come in here, people banana-SPLIT
They know they can’t handle me
When I’m taking a fun anatomy
And when I finish, you know they gon’ be mad at me

I make another leave, from this rap battle thread
Wanna try again? If so, I suggest you go to bed
Sleep on it. Maybe when you wake, you’ll realize
That in rap threads, you should get out before things get uncivilized
And they can, will, and have. This will be my final statement.
Is it cold down there in your grandmother’s basement?

Oct 27, 2012 at 09:13AM EDT
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量子 Meme wrote:

“Hey, Quantum Meme, why not post something with actual subject matter?”

>Implying that’s all I do and am famous for

I can’t believe you would single me out in some folklore

‘Fun Police’? This is the fun you cease, I can’t believe you would make such a mistake with all this fun that you decide to take.

/rappingreply

God dammit quantum.

ITT we flow. So stop posting. You are messing it up

Oct 27, 2012 at 10:48AM EDT
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量子 Meme wrote:

“Hey, Quantum Meme, why not post something with actual subject matter?”

>Implying that’s all I do and am famous for

I can’t believe you would single me out in some folklore

‘Fun Police’? This is the fun you cease, I can’t believe you would make such a mistake with all this fun that you decide to take.

/rappingreply

Oct 27, 2012 at 10:52AM EDT
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And now I’M coming back, so you’ll prepare for more,
cause baby after I get finished we’ll re-write the score!
But now I’ve changed the game, (and now you’ll really wince)
cause in this post I mean to strictly stick to COMPLIMENTS!

Twitlord, you are a man who makes it hard to praise
“low-karma buried”? Heck, I read it anyways.
You’re a contributor – one of no small renown.
It’s for profanity alone that you got voted down.
So thanks for taking time to make it known that you
are up for playing forum games and drawing ponies, too.

Now, Quantum Meme, your rhymes are shorter far than most,
but you’re a follower of mine so I won’t knock your post.
And you are gracious, civil, over-all a good guy,
when you are not in this battle-rap (we’ll let that fly).

Next: hashtagAlex, you seem like a social bloke
the guy who says his “please” and “thank you” just to humor folk.
You are dependable, and that’s commendable,
in comparison to others who’re expendable.

And Fun Police, your lyrics are unmatched by all,
and your rhymes are so creative that they make me lawl.
while we all rein it in, you can just let it loose!
You’re the inner-city Tupac to my Dr. Seuss!

WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

Oct 28, 2012 at 06:39PM EDT
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Why, thank you for your compliment, I do appreciate it
I’m F to da P, but I see no need to abbreviate it
Fresher than an orange, brighter than a candle light
All the while I’m flying higher than a satellite
Who’s next? Good question, who wants some, cause I’m ready
Throw off your rhythm and make you feel a bit unsteady
Short post, no shiteposts, lookin’ at you, PieFace
I may be back just to see you fellas try to keep pace.

Oct 28, 2012 at 06:54PM EDT
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Fun Police wrote:

Why, thank you for your compliment, I do appreciate it
I’m F to da P, but I see no need to abbreviate it
Fresher than an orange, brighter than a candle light
All the while I’m flying higher than a satellite
Who’s next? Good question, who wants some, cause I’m ready
Throw off your rhythm and make you feel a bit unsteady
Short post, no shiteposts, lookin’ at you, PieFace
I may be back just to see you fellas try to keep pace.

I’mma try and hold back a bit,
‘cuz I see y’all throwin’ downvotes like that guy Zelda did Ganon down the pit.
Is that, like, your thing,
when someone beats you too hard to take wing?

Twilit, man, it’s twilight.
It’s past y’bed time, nighty night.
Fun Police, quite it with your crimes.
That donut of yours is harder’n any’a yo rhymes.

Step back, and let this mouth, as an effluent,
act as, for these words that’re affluent.
Were these forums like the Romans’,
y’d be in with the lions, for that they’re good omens.




Flocka.

Last edited Oct 28, 2012 at 07:33PM EDT
Oct 28, 2012 at 07:29PM EDT
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Dont know how to embed soundcloud here…so here are the links to my raps

LIFE IS HARD
http://soundcloud.com/oxdoxon/life-is-hard-by-derek

TALKIN SHIT
http://soundcloud.com/oxdoxon/talkinshit

Oct 29, 2012 at 02:52PM EDT
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I remember having an epic rap battle in the pony general back when i used to post there. Good times.

Oct 29, 2012 at 03:08PM EDT
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I want to retire rapping, so I’m good.

Let the winner take the crown…

But it’s not over until someone wins!!!

Oct 29, 2012 at 03:59PM EDT
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Alex, just give it to me. The victor here is obvious
Got so much skill that here in JFF I’ve got an audience
I’ll entertain them a bit with my precision strikes and kicks
They’ll swallow my lyrics hard like fish and chips
And I know that my competitors are gonna get fussy
When I throw some weird shite in my stuff like I’m Andrew Hussie
Keep returning to rap some more like I just can’t stop
So drink my shite up, feel that taste in your mouth, soda pop

You know I do to fun what Pinkie did to Rainbow
With the force of a tornado and heat of a volcano
Your lyrics could have been written by a potato
Or even worse, possibly a cherry tomato

Exudes, I’d just bail, aight? You tried, and that’s what matters
Sadly, though, your stuff is runnier than pancake batter
Next challenger, come in. I’m ready to rhyme some more
I’m new, got plenty to prove and even more to fight for
Another try, Exudes? I’d recommend you get in line
So I can saw you and your shite down again like a red pine

Oct 29, 2012 at 04:18PM EDT
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Ok funpolice.

You earned it… Pass on the legacy.

Enjoy mah boy.
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.
Until next time

Lock?

Last edited Oct 29, 2012 at 05:26PM EDT
Oct 29, 2012 at 05:25PM EDT
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I heartily implore thine vacate the premises
As the musical melody and vocals I am about to bring are of a high temperature
It would be wise to cover thine eyes
For the poetic rhyme I unfold is of the blinding variety
Explosive Lasers, known as Solaire with recent months, is what I am referred to as
Uncouth woman are crowding around the porch of my abode
The inhibitions they usually sustain are dispatched when I am observed
For all the tough gentlemen flee when I draw near
And classy folks do offer me all they hold dear
Verily, it is not possible for a human being to be as amazing
But, nay, it must be, as it has been accomplished by mine self
Curses to those with the bravado to have an attempt at me
I do declare that yon wretched curs shall strike me with all their might

Oct 29, 2012 at 05:53PM EDT
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I’m sorry, Solaire. It’s over. I’ve claimed it.
The crown is Fun Police’s, Alex has proclaimed it.
Bow down to your new rap king. Kiss my feet.
If you can gain access to my executive suite.

New member? So what? I can still shine
Just like the crown I wear as I cross the finish line
Twili, S-Bizzy and Exudes tried to fight
But I made a masterpiece while they made sound bites

So I came back here, I could do this everyday!
You may worship the Sun, but I burned you anyway.

(Ohhhh, Celestia’s NOT going to be happy about this…)

Oct 29, 2012 at 07:38PM EDT
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Oh, we’re actually doing this?

cracks knuckles

Yo, you’re a hack
Better take a step back
I’m ’bout to attack
Spitting flames and flak
See where the odds are stacked

Crown king? Don’t mean shit
I’ll kick your ass if you face me in the pit
You might have to sit
When these fucking flames I spit
Your ass is hit
No stopping me, passion’s lit
Fuck you, I ain’t even chomping at the bit
I’m rolling in moolah like motherfucking Mitt

I ain’t fucking done
But you know I’m number one
This shit ain’t even fun
So stand your ass up and PRAISE THE MOTHERFUCKING SUN!

Oct 30, 2012 at 12:47AM EDT
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Ok ok ok, I’m sorry, but what? I didn’t pay too much attention at first because it wasn’t a battle thread, but somehow it’s become one…? And Alex just quit? Whaaaa? Oh well, time to give rap another shot…




Audio and voice recording >>

(And the backing track is done by Emancipator. The title’s Nevergreen, and I’d like to apologize to Emancipator upfront for soiling it with my voice)

Yeah… y’see- in the last battle I was number 3,
Yeah that’s right- I was 3rd best of all Know Your Meme,
It was so brutal- laying waste to those before me
But without Alex, y’all woulda bored me.

It’s different now- yeah times have changed,
I can’t believe my chance to be redeemed is such a game
I’m not callin out the thread I don’t mean to flame, but
It shouldn’t be this easy to put y’all to shame.

It’s sad to see all these people try and try to rhyme,
It’s like they’re flowless, maybe if they’d practiced they be fine,
But right now I can’t bear to finish readin their posts
With the only exception of Fun Police and Alex-Ghost’s.

I won’t give up like Alex has apparently done,
Not until yours truly is indisputably number one
Until my throne is secure, the crown’s on my head
And I have KYM-tan lying in my bed.

So there it all is, yeah this rap’s my exposition
Telling you all I’m still gunnin’ for the top position.
I’ll be rapping nonstop but this time with no derision
I just want to have fun while I try to complete my mission.

To be the king of Know Your Meme rappers, singers, and proles
So forget the Fun Police- Patrick’s back on patrol.
I ain’t out for blood, but that don’t mean I won’t bite
It just means I’m a little less inclined to fight.

Yeah I ain’t viscous like you badass killuhs
But at least I have some actual skills, huh
You think you can take me? Man you couldn’t rhyme
If your entire family’s life was on the line.

I’m sorry, I’ll try to be a little nicer in my flow,
Because some of us actually have manners, y’know?
But now why are you frontin in a little one on one?
You can’t really think you’re the only rappers in Just For Fun.

I’m still here, and I always have been, my dear friends,
And I’m going to be the one to make you meet your ends.
I don’t mean anything by it, I just want to win this
It’s nothing personal when I spartan kick you into the abyss.

Before you start tryin to tear me down, Solaire and FP
Try to remember that you’re talking the original #3.
I don’t think you’d know who SSBMMasta is,
But if you wanna find the best raps on KYM, they’re his.
He was number one in the previous battle and the one before,
And he didn’t even rap to be a karma whore
And my man Alex, though he didn’t put up to much of a fight,
Well, when it comes to rappin’, he’s actually quite alright.
But as Finn said, “I put in the time, I’mma make you mine”
And yet here you are, offering the crown to these swine?

None of that sits well with me, and I think that you’d agree
When I say I’m now the second best rapper, not #3.

I just can’t understand why you would opt out
I mean what happened? Your flow suffer a drought?
Now Solaire and FP, make like MDF’s avatar and GET OUT.
Your raps are something I can honestly do without.

This just a warning shot. Next time I might not be so nice, so pick your words carefully. That’s my only advice.

I’m out.

Last edited Oct 30, 2012 at 12:09PM EDT
Oct 30, 2012 at 12:07PM EDT
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Ok…wow.

like the last rap battle thread (Wheatley linked up top) it really wasn’t over until it gets locked or auto locked, m’kay.

So now that we have new challengers I will sit and watch!!

sorry funpolice, but if you really are the king it surely won’t upset you

Last edited Oct 30, 2012 at 12:31PM EDT
Oct 30, 2012 at 12:30PM EDT
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>MFW Patrick:

You say you’re number three
But you’re facing a goddamned MC
I’ll beat you senseless, y’see
Facing me is just a fallacy
Do I detect some jealousy?
Too bad, because fucked is what you’re gonna be
I got no problem with you, you’re not my enemy
So, I’ll let you flee
Go ahead, run from me

Bitches don’t know about my beat
You face a resounding defeat
Like D&D, I’ve got every Feat
Motherfucker, stand back, bringing the heat

Shit’s on like Stubborn Monkey,
Sign up to be my flunky
Your raps make you look damned punk-y
So listen up, I’m goddamn funky
‘Cause you’re too damn junky

This ain’t no rap of the day club
Shit’s gotta be better than an English anime dub
So move your ass out the door, scrub
I’d rather be watching ponies on the Hub
Might want to run from my gun, it’s got a snub

Patrick, saying time’s changed, huh?
No shit, Sherlock, it’s obvious to ya
The field’s changed a lot, bruh
Now I’m the fucking Pooh-Bah!

Patrol’s over, pal, it’s the end of watch
You’re facing somebody top notch
That tingling feeling in your crotch?
It ain’t from the scotch
My beats you’d botch
My flow you’d debauch
So now the RED Medic’s on deathwatch

You like Mio, you say
Too bad you’ll never see the light of day!
The sun ain’t rising for you, you’re too damn gay
You’re like OP, faggot, your raps are cliche
I got Flutters as my back-up, so by the way
Just got to say: Motherfucking yay!
If you’re scared, don’t stay
Your raps’ll just be stray
The judge’ll say ‘Nay’
You won’t win today
It’s to my raps he’ll sway
You just watch in dismay
Your flesh my flow will flay
Your skill ain’t even halfway
So just run away
I’m shining like a godray
Born in the month of May
Season of the sun, to whom I pray
Celestia’s got my back in the fray
So don’t have delay
You’ll just decay
I’ll make a FP fillet
So don’t try foul play
And don’t disobey
I’m like a bird of prey
Make like Altair, hit the hay
I’m da bes in the Milky Way
And I’m on my way
So make a power play
Try to pull away
I got the right of way
Beats hotter than Santa Fe
My flow’s going underway
Bringing flames from the USA
Your beats are colder than lime sorbet
Uglier than Trump’s toupee

That’s all she wrote, and all I need, ‘cause I just beat y’all as you read. If you want a rematch, touch my summon sign and wear an eyepatch.

Last edited Oct 30, 2012 at 02:05PM EDT
Oct 30, 2012 at 02:05PM EDT
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Moar peasants? Very well, my jimmies remain unrustled
My stuff still hits ‘em in the pectoral muscle
Solaire, Element of I Can’t Rap For Shite
Take that bucket off your head so you can hear me right
The power of the Sun can’t compare to the power of detaining fun
I’ll be the victor here once again in the long run
Ooh, member for eight months? My God, I’m scared
I outshine the Sun and make you visually impaired
I’ll crack your helmet open and make a Solaire omelette
Your lyrics alone force me to sit down and make me want to vomit

Patrick, your shite makes my eyes feel like they’re gonna bleed
How could you try to rap and do humanity such a misdeed?
You and Sunshine there and gonna get jailed by FP
Blast you and then burn Jolly Solly in the third degree
I’m like 4chan. With me, to die, you need no registration
Why don’t you bow and exhibit some jolly cooperation?

Last edited Oct 30, 2012 at 04:05PM EDT
Oct 30, 2012 at 04:04PM EDT
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Still trying to rap?
You’re spewing crap
Might as well go and fap
This fight’s over, call it a wrap
You’re so dazed you’ll need a map
Just to get home, what a sap
Like Bane, your back I’ll snap
So take a hike, I’ll win this scrap

Fun Police? More like Fuck! Puh-lease
Your rap ain’t hot, it’d just as well freeze
These lyrics I spit are the bees knees
You ain’t a cop worth shit, so stand at ease
I’m rolling with an uzi, I’ll give it a squeeze
Your efforts just displease
Mine are sicker than a damned disease
Spanking noobs is my favorite cheese

FP’s just shit, but Pat’s got skill
Not much, as I go in for the kill
Heart’s ice cold, it’ll give you a chill
So drink your fill
All you got is swill
‘Cause you know I’m ill
You two are like Johnny Knoxville
Y’know, Jackasses going downhill

Bring it once more
Though you’re such a bore
At least try to get past my door
FP, you’re shitty to the core
Patrick, you’re waifu is a whore
Just three of us, but you’re both number four

Oct 30, 2012 at 04:30PM EDT
Quote

Aww, how cute! Looks like you finally stopped beatin’ it off to my post
And decided to throw together something sub-par at the most
Well, I’d suggest you check yourself
And put those shite rhymes on the shelf
You think I’m scared of some little spark?
I’ll devour you like a great white shark
My soul’s darker than any video game
I’m evil but still nice all the same
Solaire, you can just go get scraped
Patrick’s making a sex videotape
At the moment, so he hasn’t come back to this thread
Meanwhile, our favorite little lighter’s seeing red
He knows he can’t compete with this shite I spit
You’d best go wait in the orchestra pit
While I stand up here and control the stage
At least my lyrics aren’t ripped off from the Bronze Age
Hey, why not get that pole out of your rectum?
Oh, never mind. I see you’re trying to achieve an erection.
I’ll leave you to that, you little loser
I’ll tear through you like a battle cruiser

Everybody else was smart, they left this thread
So they wouldn’t get sniped from overhead
Better run, Sun. I’ll manhandle you, son
You’ve sealed your fate, and now the beating has begun
How dare you think that you could rap?
Try putting on your thinking cap
Let this text get through to you
And then get out, move to Peru
For the Sun, you’re sure not very bright
I think it’s bedtime for this knight.

Oct 30, 2012 at 04:47PM EDT
Quote

Motherfucker, you’ve been beat
Yet you still try to compete
Face the music, face defeat
I’m heating up the floor beneath your feet
Like 4chan, I’m unstoppable
My lyric flow, unflappable
I’m Solarilicious, so fappable

Name was MC Lasers
Kill, the setting on my phasers
These rhymes, do you hear?
Your ass’ll make way for my lightning spear
Bite the pillow, dear
I’m going in dry, so better fear
With your ass I’ll play Smear the Queer

Think you got a chance
Come on, let’s dance
Pat’s busy fapping to Mio
FP’s busy squealing like Dio
Fucking dumber than a bird, like Rio
I’m the only river here, name of Grande
El Toro, motherfucking bull
My Rage meter is fucking full
Sit down, shut up, this is like a school
Teaching faggots when their done
’Cause the son of the Sun is number one

You’re dismissed, officer FP
Fucked too much with an MC
Like Luna, consumed by jealousy
Tried to contend with me
Unlimited Time Smash Bros.: No contest
You bitches been banged like a fuckfest
‘Cause Solaire is the fucking best
No doubt, I’ll fucking shout
Dovahkiin knows what it’s about
Go into the corner and fucking pout
That’s it, Solaire out!

drops mic

Oct 30, 2012 at 05:01PM EDT
Quote

I have no need to prove myself in childish rap battles
My gilded rhymes stand clearly out from lesser hoodlum’s prattles
Instead of flinging insults ‘round at all the competition,
I’ll acknowledge others’ skills, and of my own volition.

You certainly are skilled, however;
It remains a moot endeavor.

A gentleman’s abilities
Speak for themselves in times like these
For anyone with eyes can see;
The lyric champion is me.

Oct 30, 2012 at 06:13PM EDT
Quote

One, two.

One, two.

Ahem. One, two.

One, two.

OK.

Attention, everybody, because Fun Police has returned
My title as a professional rapper I have earned
I could get back into going hard with my competitors
But rather I wanna just stop attacking like I’m a predator
Imma cool down a bit, sit back and take it easy
The JFF forums I’m gonna take a break from policing

And yeah, Solaire, I’m an officer, I shoot sometimes
And things here are tough, I’ve faced some hard times
I don’t know though, man, I wanna unwind
Cause riding this flow just gives me peace of mind
You know what I’m saying, Solaire? Are ya feelin’ these vibes?
It’s something that I guess can be hard to describe

So I’m here just to calm my nerves
And to take the little break that my soul deserves
Let’s stop this fight, fellas. Let’s cease to hate
I’m speaking to you, Solaire, put down your armor plate

We can split the crown, man, I’d be glad to share it
And I’m sure that you could easily help me wear it
Don’t think for a second that I can’t respond to you, however
If I felt like it I could keep this fight going forever

So let’s do this, bro. Fun Police offers a peace treaty
Before I go off on my vacation to Tahiti
The two kings of JFF, Solaire and Fun Police
I really now just wanna keep the conversation peace
Props to you, dude. I admit that.
And while I’m at it, also to Jack and Pat

/rapbattle, I enjoyed it, though
We’ll rule this kingdom together, Solaire. Let’s go.

Oct 30, 2012 at 07:22PM EDT
Quote

Woah woah woah
A rap thread and y’all niggas aint tell me bout it?
shits cash so lets do something bout this shit
i am the only one here who can spit on the mic
my raps are hot like fires, you like?
Course you do know who wouldn’t
c’ept for some of you scrubs like solaire and spooky logic

I am the one who will bring all you down
Like a wrestler that can slam down
bringin down all of you faster than you can say shit
ask katia, that gurl fuckin knows it
most of you do know bout my rap
but lemme tell you somethin
this aint no shoosh pap
this is an attack like an assasin sneakin up on ya back
so imma warn you this may get ugly
here we go lets start fo shizzle DUGGIE

solaire you think you tough but don’t even know it
rap is music, not monkeys throwin fuckin fits
when you step up to the mic its a desgrace
ive heard 5 year olds rap harder and they even know their fuckin place
this shit is childish why am i even doing this?
To teach yall a lesson on how doit like this
but i can say one thing yall niggas is doing it wrong
this is a game of rap not fucking ping pong.
Im the only nigga here thats the true rap yall niggas better know it
that bitch alex thinks he shit? Well lets see him spit
I think i’ve just about won and yall niggas better think bout the message in my song
do it while your here and do it while your young and one more thing

THIS IS STUPID

Oct 30, 2012 at 07:38PM EDT




Record music with Vocaroo >>
‘Sup niggas? It’s Firo here, joining in the fray
I’m so fine with my rhymes, Ima storm your brains like the beach on the goddamn D-Day
It’s not even worth it tryin’ to be putting up a fight
I’m a goddamn immortal, niggas, I’ve got way more than all night
To smite y’all with the lines of my killer laid-back verse
Feel like fisticuffs? Fine, we’ll see who comes off the worse.
Now- Just remember, while I don’t mean disrespect
To the police and the kings, I’m strong, like T-Rex
So. There goes my intro, I’m done now, I said it.
I’ve dropped the ball in YOUR court.
Go get it.

Oct 30, 2012 at 07:53PM EDT
Quote

Explosive Lasers AKA Solaire AKA Sexiest wrote:

Motherfucker, you’ve been beat
Yet you still try to compete
Face the music, face defeat
I’m heating up the floor beneath your feet
Like 4chan, I’m unstoppable
My lyric flow, unflappable
I’m Solarilicious, so fappable

Name was MC Lasers
Kill, the setting on my phasers
These rhymes, do you hear?
Your ass’ll make way for my lightning spear
Bite the pillow, dear
I’m going in dry, so better fear
With your ass I’ll play Smear the Queer

Think you got a chance
Come on, let’s dance
Pat’s busy fapping to Mio
FP’s busy squealing like Dio
Fucking dumber than a bird, like Rio
I’m the only river here, name of Grande
El Toro, motherfucking bull
My Rage meter is fucking full
Sit down, shut up, this is like a school
Teaching faggots when their done
’Cause the son of the Sun is number one

You’re dismissed, officer FP
Fucked too much with an MC
Like Luna, consumed by jealousy
Tried to contend with me
Unlimited Time Smash Bros.: No contest
You bitches been banged like a fuckfest
‘Cause Solaire is the fucking best
No doubt, I’ll fucking shout
Dovahkiin knows what it’s about
Go into the corner and fucking pout
That’s it, Solaire out!

drops mic

Watch your back, I’m now back on track.

Close your pie-hole, as I’m preparing to draw
A rap that will blow you away and you’ll be in awe
As these lyrics construct a foundation of galore
Your lyrics have become such nothing but a bore
You say you rhyme with your poetic, little mind
I got more swagger than much of those probed brittle lines
Should have thought through that this thread takes tricks
Though these tell tales that travel throughout teaching ticks
That taking the top takes time though you can’t be right
So put up your hands and get ready for an old fashioned rap fight.

I am taking the spotlight, you shouldn’t flinch though
I’ll talk slow so that this rap in your mind it will go
Tear through every fiber of your being
That you’ll be in denial and won’t be believing
Please exit the room if you’re going to back out
Because you’re getting to the point where you’re going to black out.
Oh, can’t you see that you’re very troubled?
Watch out, because the fun just got doubled.

Oct 30, 2012 at 08:05PM EDT
Quote

I’ll tell you plainly, brother
FP, there can be no other
A diarchy won’t be a bother
So, yeah, I accept your offer
But shit’s still on, son
Challengers to the po-po and the sun
You say that you’re all done
It falls to me, I’m loaded like a gun
Highlander, son, there can be only one

Hobo, you best hightail it
You just simply fail it
Go club a motherfucking seal
Before I make you kneel
Katia, bro, she gave me a feel
In return, I gave her a meal
Like Yu-Gi, I came… to the city
Also I had an orgasm, so don’t feel pity
Your beats are gritty

You taste so foul, like a Big Mac
Don’t mean the pony, don’t give flak
See, for rapping I have a knack
So bow to my attack
And don’t be taken aback
You’ve been warned, you hack

As for Firo, the frog said it best
Get the fuck out, ain’t no contest
Best take it to a white-boy rap-fest
FP’ll give you an arrest
Feel so stressed
Like the Art of the Dress
Make like Emi and run, run, run
You’re fucking with Number One

Edit:
Lone K, watch it
Don’t just botch it
Walking on a wire
Stepping through a fire
Coming at a hero
Rapping worse than Firo
I’m busting out a hardcore tangent
No shit, just plain brilliant
Flow so light it’s fucking buoyant
Armored up like a Knight Errant
Rapping against an infant

Creeper, take a long walk
In here, exploding’s just talk
You’re clueless, might be a shock
But you can go ahead and suck my cock

Last edited Oct 30, 2012 at 08:20PM EDT
Oct 30, 2012 at 08:15PM EDT
Quote

Well, said, Solaire. I’d like to quit, but I’ve gotta back you up
Get your cameras out, fellas. Now it’s FP’s closeup
I’ll cook up something twice as real as any y’all can handle
And when I’m done, the Sun will burn you out like a Roman candle
I’ll start with you, Doc. Where’d you get your degree?
Cause all I hear is you screamin’ like a banshee
Pound your face on the keyboard and call it a track
Don’t try to speak too quickly, now. You’ll have a heart attack
FP displays his badge as Solaire watches overhead
Together, an unstoppable force that will control this thread
I’ll steal your flask, Hobo, and watch you club it to a seal
Just tell me, quickly, Doctor, how do they have sex appeal?

(What)

Now Firo is my bro, so I feel bad to have to do this
But the Sun is my new comrade, we’ll plunge you into the abyss
We’ll hold you down and make you drown and you’ll wish you never rapped
Your face red from embarrassment and because it was slapped

So now we’ve got a new opponent, he happens to be a creeper
Whose rap reminds me of the sound made by my electric carpet sweeper
We will stab you with our diamond swords and pick up what you drop
And build a JFF empire, sell your skin in a clothes shop

I will have everybody in this thread in chains in 10 freaking seconds flat
The burning sun and the MF wearing the police hat
We’re deep into the game, we’ve got this thread in tap
While you guys all get shot to death on our welcome mat

Word.

Last edited Oct 30, 2012 at 08:39PM EDT
Oct 30, 2012 at 08:32PM EDT
Quote

Solaire you’re going to lose the game, and you just lost it
I see you brought your Rap for Dummies book, you just tossed it
At me
A book?
Are you seriously that crude?
I find that sucking your “cock” is rather lewd.
Don’t even complain when I’m done with you
Because I’m a rapper, you gotta know that it is true.

I’m going to break you like a stick
While you flail around your 1 inch dick
This rhyme is going to finish you off, you little prick
You should have not messed with me, because I’m that slick
When it comes to rapping you’ll always be the last pick
My gun is itching to trigger, because it just went click.
Go back into your corner and try to schlick
Because you should know this rap is sick.

Whoa, FP, no need to get on your period with me
I’m just being that all I can be
Don’t worry, this rap should be quick
Because you’ll be stuck there sucking on Solaire’s dick.

Diamond swords? I spit in the face of fear.
I’ve been killing miner by miner for at least 3 years.
You should be scared, go hide behind that wooden door.
Because my zombie bros will knock it down forevermore.
I will bring down your life with the Enderdragon (he’s mah nigga)
Or the Wither, who will rain hell upon your ass, because he’s gonna get bigger
The army of mobs that I control will tear down your doors
Take your ores, get some scores, and I’ll be down in the Minecraft lore.

You two should back down and hide like the cowards you are, you little cunts
While the rest of us will be in our penthouse smoking our blunts.

Last edited Oct 30, 2012 at 08:59PM EDT
Oct 30, 2012 at 08:45PM EDT
Quote

Both of you think you can out rap me?
Please
Ill take both you out with ease
tell me Solaire why do you praise the sun?
You some crazy ass cultist following it cuz you are one?
Its a ball of light not something to worship
you should go pray to it after this rap
maybe pray for some better lyrics cuz they sound like ass
you think yo so hot with FP on yo side
nigga can’t rap for shit so he and you might as well hide
he should arrest me for rappin so hard
after starting sick fires like this i should be put in a mental ward
seriously solaire how did you even become a knight?
sense when could you even fight?
All you do is praise the sun and think its so damn fun
well stop livin in the past and get with the present
you dirty ass fuckin peasant

And you fun police
how did you become a cop?
what are you gonna do arrest me because i wont stop
rappin so hard on all yall niggas
you may need to pull the trigga on that pea shooter you got
but that wont stop me cuz im bullet proof nigga
Id like to know what academy gave you your badge
cuz it looks fake as shit, hell you aint even a real man
I think im done with this retaliation you both should go sit down
and go back to your own stations.

Oct 31, 2012 at 12:08AM EDT

The only thing I throw is your ass
Breaking it like it’s made of glass
Smearing it across the grass
Beating you, then give FP a pass
Lone K, I’m going Chris Hansen on ya
Take a seat right over there, huh?
You’re lacking in skill, duh
Now listen to this flow, uh-huh

How many times I gotta say it
How many times I’m gonna spray it
Your face, I’m gonna flay it
You have a debt, ya better pay it
This beat, I’m gonna lay it
This tune, I gotta play it
This shit, you gotta hear it
My verse, you gotta fear it
Your ass, I’m gonna smear it
This floor, it’s gonna clear it
FP, take out the trash
Lone K’s nothing but ash

Seal’s next on the line
Want some bread with your whine?
Out of the five here, you’re number nine
You talk shit, but have you seen my shrine?
Want to see my fight, touch my summon sign
You ain’t shit, you’re just a swine

Pony thread, you tried to rhyme
I’ll just beat your ass a second time
These beats, so sublime
Shining bright, like Optimus Prime
So fly, it’s a fucking crime
The po-po’s on my side, though
As I claim my spot in this show
So you might as well go
Vagrancy and clubbing are crimes, yo
So is thinking you can match this flow
In this fight, it’s your line I toe

As for the sun, it’s too deep for you
Celestia, Ra, and Ametarasu
Gwyn, Surya, Sol, and Utu
Gods of the sun, ain’t number one
Solaire right here, sticking to his gun
So buckle up and get ready for some fun
Just turn your ass and “PRAISE THE SUN!”

Last edited Oct 31, 2012 at 12:30AM EDT
Oct 31, 2012 at 12:28AM EDT
Quote

You think you have the gods on your side?
What a joke!
Your nothing but a babbling cultist boyo
Sometimes I wonder if your insane or just stupid
Your love for the gods is creepy and putrid
you think i wont step it up?
well then lets do it
these rhymes im layin down here?
there just the beginning of me winning.
your raps are trash and so is the sun
you honestly think its a god?
look at it!
its a bright ball of light!
not someone like kratos or areas you ignant knight!
Learn your facts before you try to holla at me
ill beat yo ass so fast into the ground before you could even see
after this rap you’ll be the one praisin me
because in reality im a god you see
A GOD OF RAP

ID like to see your sun top that

Last edited Oct 31, 2012 at 12:53AM EDT
Oct 31, 2012 at 12:52AM EDT

Everybody get down on the ground (come on)
The popo is back, so don’t fool around
My username is apt
So enjoy this and you’ll get capped

Creeper, go back into your cave
Sit your shite down and just behave
I will unleash a lyrical tidal wave
My friend the Sun will dig your grave

(Let’s go, what)

We are the kings, it’s blatant
Champions of our nation
And meanwhile Hobo’s getting wasted
And creeper’s rhymes are all just hated
Your arguments will be inflated
This is the world that we created
This is the thread that we dictated
Speaking of this thread, you should vacate it

(Uh)

Y’all are like the Titanic, you tried, failed and now you’re sinking
Well, my shite’s organic, pure as the thought that FP’s thinking
Now I’m just gonna wait. I know that you guys will return
And when you do, Solaire and I’ll hang you like a Christmas fern

(Yeah.)

Oct 31, 2012 at 07:19AM EDT
Quote
Skeletor-sm

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