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The Life Points will start at 2000. The first person to hit zero Life Points loses. Battle System, start!
Now, begin the Duel!
I'll go first.
I'll summon the Hitatsumi Giant:

If you want your grandpa back, you'll have to defeat me!
(Odd numbered posts play as Kaiba. Even numbered posts play as the unnamed hero with perfectly reasonable hair)

Hmm, this card won't do me any good.
I summon Silver Fang in attack mode!

Damn straight it has. How the fuck do the cards stay on the motorcycles while they play?

EDIT: Since I'm an even post, I guess I have to put a card down…

I summon Saggi The Dark Clown!

And use Negative Energy Generator on it to triple its attack, boosting it to 1800!

Now attack his Silver Fang!

[Silver Fang is destroyed]
[Kaiba: 2000]
[Challenger: 1400]

I play one monster in defense mode!

And another card face down!

And I end my turn!

PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!

… What game are we playing again?

Magic: The Gathering, obviously. Could you not tell by the use of Magic cards!?

Dark Magician of Chaos FTK.

What! That's IMPOSSIBLE!
No matter. I summon my Red Bori in face up attack mode.

Bori, attack his life points directly!

I'm not going to join in, but I shall say this:

I LOVE THIS THREAD!