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The Fanfic Maker

Last posted Feb 09, 2014 at 12:58PM EST. Added Feb 06, 2014 at 09:16PM EST
20 posts from 13 users

ITT we use http://www.fanficmaker.com/ to do a funny.
Have fun launching your sides into space!
Here’s mine:

The Revenage Of BadDude the Bad Dude
Once apon a time…
Josh was singing a song about a dog.
Suddenly he bumped into JOHN MADDEN. “Whoa I didnt expect to see you here at the dry cleaners.”
“Yes I come here every day.”
Suddenly, an explosion was heard.
They stared ahead .
But they bumped into a ancient record collection.
“oh no I have hurt yourself " said That Guy.
“I believe BadDude the Bad Dude is behind this!”
“Really!!?!”
“He is behind an evil crazy scheme to dominate our world.”
“How”?
By makeing a secret deathray and fireing itat the core of the earth. “can we stop him?”
Yes, by finding the holy shield of doom.
“where?”
In the far away castle , hidden in the ocean of death , opposite the staircase of mordor.
…….. There lies a signpost…it will tell you where to go.
“Who are you?”
“…”
With that the myseterious invisible voice vanished in a puff of smoke.
“Come now, Hero, we must find and seak our quest to do!”
“Indeed thee must hasten to hawk yonder!”
And with that they left
The ever so sad mercenary force walked upwards into the arse of fate that hasnt happened yet.
Lots of Days survived before they reached climax
“Oh, look, we are at our destination we had to arrive to!”
And then, suddenly BadDude the Bad Dude stood behind them. He held an old book in his hand and the Da Roings O’ Maguff in the other.
“I see you finaly found me, allthough it will not do you any good. You see, the Da Roings O’ Maguff is the last componant I need in the spell of Unholy Tranfactademonintome.
At last I will be one with who I admire most, I will have the true power – from the one that has lead me all these years. My one true ally…
Satan: the Devil incarnated!”
Everyone gasped in horror as they were shocked “Behold, prepare to knell before me, as the world soon will!”
With that he spoke the evil words, and the ground shock and cracked, and the skys opened, and insects flowed over his body and then he was Satan!!
Suddenly, JOHN MADDEN (who was playing dead) lunged at Satan, grabbing the Da Roings O’ Maguff off him
With the spell broken, this gave Josh time to stab satan in the eye sending him back to Hell!
“Our work here is done”
With that, they all went home, safe in the knowledge that Satan was gone and GOD was protecting them all along.
The End

INB4 someone puts Le Lenny Face into all text boxes.

Last edited Feb 06, 2014 at 09:17PM EST
Feb 06, 2014 at 09:16PM EST

I Did not read this myself but i’m expecting chaos.


I read it, and was not dissapoint. For one, Jolyne (Who somehow turns into Jotaro halfway through the story) is a vampire, which is the most fucking ironic thing I can think of shour of Jonathan Joestar becoming a vampire.
Also, for the first bit I sort of knew what was going on but by the end I had no fucking clue.


Hidden TextFist of the North Star vs. JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Adventures of Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata : The Sequal

By “Oh shit this is gonna fucking suck”

Note:
In this true story, the charecters are showing as their real selves. I have not censored it like the the mainstream storys.

-

MaHahahaha! Jr. Dio Brando laughed as he gazed at his big armies!!! "Soon I will enslave Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikatas planet!!! And nobody can stop me!!!

Vampire Jolyne Cujoh felt really dperessed one day.She had been slitting her wrists even more then normal. She had just found out that she was adopted. Her real parents turned out to be nobels from Europe. They had a castle and were mighty richt! But she had none of that richness around. It made her feel pretty bad about herself so she listened to some good music.

But long she did not have to be depressed as Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata came in and held her hand (they had falled in love at the end of the story see). And he said: “I love oyu so much, it hurts. What is wrong with you? If you feel bad then I feel bad.”
So Vampire Jolyne Cujoh told him the whole story. He was shocked to hear this and said “I’m really shocked to hear this! Your parents are monsters!”
“Which ones?”
“All four of them, I don’t like them. As much as I don’t like Pirate Mamiya!”
And that was a lot because Vampire Jolyne Cujoh knew that Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata hated Pirate Mamiya because she was unbelievably dumb and annoying.
But Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata took out a letter, “this had just arrived,” said Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata.
Vampire Jolyne Cujoh openend the envolupe and inside was an invitation:
“Dareest Vampire Jolyne Cujoh said the message”
“You are condord invited to the royal ball of your parents. Your real parents, miss.”
“We hope to see you soon. Most esteamly yours, dutchess!”

Oh my, said Vampire Jolyne Cujoh this is aweomse. But Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata was a little sceptic: “Maybe it’s a trick.”
“Why?” said Vampire Jolyne Cujoh
“Because there are…. rumours. Of Jr. Dio Brando still being around!”
“Surely he could not come all the way to Europe!?” said Vampire Jolyne Cujoh wisely because she didn’t think that Jr. Dio Brando could travel that far.
“Hurm,” said Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata contagiously, “we just have to be careful.”
“Hold on,” exlciamed Vampire Jolyne Cujoh, there is something else in the invitation!
“Princess Vampire Jolyne Cujoh, hereby we also bestow upon you the keys to the cage of a flying unicorn your parents have provided you with. Also, whenever you hold this key in your hand, your powers are increased”
Vampire Jolyne Cujoh was really happy with that but also felt a little bad for Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata. After they had a relaction ship, Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata had taught her his Crazy Diamond and she picked it up really well! She was now even better at Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata at the Crazy Diamond!

So they went and picked up the flying unicorn. It was really quick and agile and flew around them like it really enjoyed itself! It took a moment but with enough training and perversion, Vampire Jolyne Cujoh trained it to her will! Now they could go and visit their parents!

But little did they know that the invitation was not from Vampire Jolyne Cujoh’s european nobel parents, but from Pirate Mamiya instead! And she had teamed up with Jr. Dio Brando!
AUTHORS NOTE: I HAVE SKIPED THE JORNEY BIT, BECAUSE IT WOULD BE BOREING..NO AUTHOR WRITES STORYS ABOUT TRAVELING! yawn! ’
“We are almost there. Be thankfull nothing has gone wrong” said Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata as they arrived near there journeys end.’
“Arhhhhhhhhhhhh” said Vampire Jotaro Kujo as he fall down a cliff.
“Nooooo…..”
“There there, it will be ok”
“No..This is something…you cannot ease”
“Why?”
“You dont have boobs!”
“oh”

“Don’t worry, I feel better.”
What happened next was soo cool you will like it a lot, basically, it went like this:

Only it was even cooler because i didnt have to write it! When it was in my head the words didnt get in the way. btw, Excuse me if i skip the words occasionally, its to save me time.
Ok, after they finished the candel they went to the base where the final battle started when they got there. Dont worry! The bad guy dies!
It must be here somewhere, but I have no idea where it could be", wondered Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata
At that moment, Vampire Jotaro Kujo fell down some steps near a building.
At the bottom was Jr. Dio Brando`s new skyscraper!
As they entered there was lots of gaurds.
So they swung back there trenchcoats and shot them all.
They steped over the dead bodys and made their way forwardpast the blood and guts they sprayed over the walls just moments beforePirate Mamiya vometted in disgustand blood came out.
“Ok, he is sure to be in the big room at the top " said Mighty Morphine Kenshiro pressing the correct elivator button
The elivator went up a few floors. SUDDENLY there was a bang on the roof!
“duck!” shouted Pirate Mamiya.
And they did. Which is just as well, because seconds later…
The hatch opened and a couple of soldiers with hand granades jumped down.
“oh god! What are we going to do!?” said Vampire Jotaro Kujo
“We gota think fast” said Mighty Morphine Kenshiro.
“Ok”
“I know you dont like violence, Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata, But you have to do this. Do it for me. please..” Said Werewolf Lithium
Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata thought about all the people he had murdered recently because of his fate.
“Ok, your right, I know we have to fight them” said Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata who did a massive mighty super kirate kick just as the first soldier landed
but it missed!. Fortunatly Werewolf Lithium was there to catch Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata. And did a kick-arse ninja kick in return which knocked them unconscious.
“Nice work. But its not over yet! Look!”
A bomb fell down, but they diffused it.
Ding! They had reached their floor.
“So you have come” said a voice booming from the sky
A helicopter appeared above them.
Jr. Dio Brando laughed at them
“Ha Ha Ha Ha”
“I could gun you all down from here, but I would rather do this…personal style.”
He leaped down and landed at the far side of the rooftop
“Ready?” he said, still laughing.
Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata removed his shirt and flexed his abs. "Yes. I am ready. "
With that they leaped at eachother, metaphorical guns blazzing.
“I kill you dead”
Jr. Dio Brando slapped Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata in the mouth
Blood splashed onto the floor.
Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata fell backwards in pain punching a few times before crashing to the ground.
“Ha Ha Ha Ha” laughed Jr. Dio Brando
“You could never have defeated me, so why did you even try?”
“I had too, for all that is good and just in the world.”
“Well now you will die. Goodbye.”
Jr. Dio Brando leaned over Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata holding a large rock.

“Quick Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata use this!” said Werewolf Lithium ,chucking a nearby rolled up paper towards Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata.
Mighty Morphine Josuke Higashikata grabbed it and chucked it towards Jr. Dio Brando hard, knocking him backwards….off the edge of the skyscrapper!
“Goodbye, Jr. Dio Brando have a nice fall!”
“ARrrrrgggg”
SPLAT!
Some blood sprayed up and splashed on them.
“We are safe now, he fell to certain doom.”
Vampire Jotaro Kujo and Mighty Morphine Kenshiro got out from behind a tree where they were crying in fear. “Thank you, you saved us all”
“Dont mention it.”

So they left the tower and went home. They lived happily ever after and had lots of kids.
The End
Last edited Feb 06, 2014 at 09:55PM EST
Feb 06, 2014 at 09:44PM EST
Quote

Captain Douglas J Falcon wrote:

well you shouldn’t quote it. Hiding.

Whoops.

Feb 06, 2014 at 09:56PM EST

Captain Douglas J Falcon wrote:

well you shouldn’t quote it. Hiding.

Annnnnd deleted. Carry on with the horridfics.

Feb 06, 2014 at 10:02PM EST

The Rescue of Ianto Jones : A Torchwood story
by Russell T Davies

A/N I SAW so MANY stories with this subject, so I tried ONE myself! I hope YOU like it! Read and REVIEW! Don’t forget to LIKE me on facebook!Plus MY Google!


I was born under the shady DARK red moon of the LAST oktober of the second millenium after the Great Shit. .

MY father was the king of all the lands of our KINGDOM from THE Beyond. MY mother WAS BORN of the Ferry of WISDOM and Beauty. Every day I ware the most beautyfil outfits the worlds have ever SEEN. My favourte is a deep purple JACKET that reaches DOWN to my ANGLES and is decorated with signs of insignia. I take long walks AT the palance gardens where I am acoompanied BY my faithful Jortföljitr (A/N: I got that name after I watched Thor!), MY FAITHFUL companion ferral dire lionworf.

But one day I was walking down the beach AND then I SAW a great dark light appearing in THE middle of the beach. IT was great and dark AND was EVERYWHERE but especially the MIDDLE where IT WAS THE greatest and darkest of all.
Oh faithful Jortfulljitar! I said! Jortfalhitr looked at me WITH his great golden eyes and snuffled up to me in fear and comfort. And growled AT the GRAT Black and Dark lgith. Jortfialjiral was a great and vicious beast I evaganlised in my head. But I must have said it out loud because behind me a mysterious voice said Thats indeed A great AND vicious beast you have THERE.
It was Jack Harkness!
I HAD heard OF Jack HARKNESS ALL THIS time but I had NEVER met His! I WOULDN’T HAVE DREAMED to actually see that HE existed in THIS dimension! My FATHER is the king of all the realms and dimensions and he had known that Jack Harkness lived in one OF his REARS and but IT was quite exciting. But I cared for NONE of that. Because when I saw Jack Harkness, I was asphixiated in his the great round orbs of his soul THAT was embedded deeply wthin HIS head.
After WHAT SEEMED like many eternitys we were awoken from our mutational dream we were having together. Because…….!!
Eyjafjallajökul groelwd once more at the great black thing (IT was sort of like a swirly thing, but sworly doesn’t quite sound epic so i didn’t describe IT as swirly. But it knid of is)… and it rapped open!

From within the deepest and darkest earas of the realsm I saw forthcoming a BEAST of greatness. It’s evilness was radiating from the skins of other BEINGS that it wore and swriwling around its head ( I think it was its head) came forth the souls of the beings that had suffered WHILE it ATEA them. I was FLABBERGASTED. I reached out from my blue jacket and I HELD before more the AllDUst THAT my mother had enstruated to me so long ago. I held it BEFORE me AND spoke the words in the acient Furry LANGUGAE that my mother had taught to ME as her MOTHER HAD TAUGHT it to her and HERS mother HAD TAUGHT it to HER after she had won those words from the GREAT Dragon JARRIJALLEJAR! JORTFULLJARRIJALLE was a great evil beast that had tomented THE lands of my father and my father couln’t do ANYTHING about it because he was yet still a small child OF a boy (my father is really old you see, like the Doctor!)

Fortunately Owen Harper worked at a NEWSPAPER nowadays and he used the DATABASE of the newspaper TO find out the hang outs of Slender MAN’S gang.
THEIR SEARCH led to a NIGHT club in the darkiest and stormiest part of Cardiff . I WAS a little hesitant to go. IT was rather scary and it was dark and stomy in that SECTING OF Cardiff . But the courage in me was greater than my fear because with Jack Harkness’s Immortality I should be ABLE TO accomplish anything, right, I thought to myself.
And Owen Harper WOULD join me.
So not to fall out of fashion we both squeezed into their darkest clothing. I had to admit that Owen Harper looked KIND OF sexy in that OUTFIT of his. BUT I didn’t dare to comment on that. I instead poored down my soul into my make-up. I bore lovely blood-red FINGER NAILS with BLACK STREAKING fire and gave Owen Harper the SAME treatment. Owen Harper gorgeous eyes met mine and FOR a moment WE were both swimming in a pool made of a incandesent combination of their EYES colours. IT WAS romance we KNEW, but we DIDN’T know WHETHER it was a forbidden one or not!

THEN we went off and defeated Slender Man.
And this IS where the STORY ends…


IT has come… to my attention… that “some” people… don’t like my art. They say that it’s…it’s all stupid and uninspired writing and unoriginal (lol nothing is original!) . That hurts me A lot. Really… a LOT.

DO u know how long it takes ME to write my STORIES? Do U think I like it BEING stuck AT home with nothing to do BUT writing my SOUL into my art? My DOG just DIED and I FUCKJED up my last test! Writing is the only thing THAT makes me happy, but if that isn’t good enough FOR u people, then I’m GOING to call it quits!
Yes, that’s righr! I won’t finish this story! SUCK it INTERNET! HAPPY NOW?!!!!
I want TO thank QueenSnape34 and Sweetycorn FOR beta reading, but I… I… I… just CAN’T take IT anymore.
Goodbye CRAWL internet. I’ll never use you AGAIN!

Last edited Feb 06, 2014 at 11:37PM EST
Feb 06, 2014 at 11:36PM EST
Quote

This is the tale of Ann Hiro and how he discovered the mighty Dicks

Ann Hiro was rescueing some dog.
Suddenly he bumped into Natsuru.
“Whoa I didnt expect to see you here at your house.”
“Yes I come here every day.”
Suddenly, there was a slow creapy, scary noise.He put his Sex in her Sex and they had Sex!
They stared ahead .
But they fell on a tiny hole.
“oh no us have have been damaged " said Natsuru.
“I believe Thomas Nair is behind this!”
“Really!!?!”
“He is behind an mega evil organisation to takeover ourtown.”
“How”?
By makeing a ancient lazer and summing the devil with it.
“can we stop him?”
Yes, by finding the temporaly clock of satan.
“where?”
In the magical castle , hidden in the ocean of death , opposite the doorway to doom.

“Come now, Hero, we must find and seak our quest to do!”
“Indeed thee must hasten to hawk yonder!”
And with that they left

Then our hot gang knew what to do. They had to infiltrate Thomas Nair’s massive phallic shaped mansion but in order to do so, they had to wear a disguise.

Ann Hiro thought long and hard about the best disguise. They couldn’t be too obvious or threatening because then Thomas Nair’s guards could catch them. But they couldn’t look too mundane because then Thomas Nair’s guards would never let them in.They couldn’t go naked, as they were likely to be distracted.By Sex.
No… they had to be clever.

So Ann Hiro, after a suggestion from Death Man, came up with the best idea he had: they would dress up in gothic clothes!
Ann Hiro’s friends were a little skeptic at the idea, but they all agreed it was for the best. But where would they get the best gothic clothing to surprise the guards with?
Natsuru knew exactly the best store to go: GotGothicz.

So they all went there in the dread of the night and smashed in the doorlock in order to enter the store. Death Man deactivated the alarm and so they could easily get into the store and take whatever they need in order to infiltrate Thomas Nair’s headquarters

Ann Hiro put on nice tight blue leather pantsthat made his bulge stand out noticeably. . Then a black tanktop with My Chemical Romance’s logo on the back and on top of it all a nice long leather coat with red streaks on the side. Then he painted his nails black and used red to draw little drops of blood on there
Natsuru wore a short red skirt with long black stockings that had holes where the toes would go so she could still paint her toenails. And she also had a corset made from unicorn tongue that looked so awesome on her. Over this all she had a long leather coat. Death Man also had cool clothes (A/N but I’m running out of imagination to describe it, so I guess he looked like Neo from the Matrix i know it’s an old movie but those clothes look soooo cool)

Finally they were ready to face Thomas Nair!
Our heroes arrived at the central district.
“How will we find where he is based in this big city?”
“We will never find him.”

“Maybe not, look…there!”
Behind them was a blood drenched billboard with Thomas Nair INDUSTARYS scribbled apon it in Comic Sans .
So they found where he was,and entered the building…
As they entered there was lots of gaurds.
So they swung back there trenchcoats and shot them all.
(but no one died!).
“Ok, he is sure to be in the penthouse sweet " said Sam pressing the correct elivator button
The elivator went up a few floors. SUDDENLY there was a bang on the roof!
“duck!” shouted Markhaox.
And they did. Which is just as well, because seconds later…
The hatch opened and dozens of gaurds with tommy guns pirouetted down.
“oh god! What are we going to do!?” said Death Man
“We gota think fast” said Sam.
“Ok”
“I know you dont like violence, Ann Hiro, But you have to do this. Do it for me. please..” Said Death Man

“Ok, your right, I know we have to fight them” said Ann Hiro who did a massive mighty super kirate kick just as the first soldier landed
but it missed!. Fortunatly Death Man was there to catch Ann Hiro. And did a turbo ninja kick in return causing boobs to bounce which knocked them unconscious.
“Nice work. But its not over yet! Look!”
more fell down, but they killed them all quickly.
Ding! They had reached their floor.
“So you have come” said a voice booming from the sky
A helicopter appeared above them.
Thomas Nair laughed at them
“Ha Ha Ha Ha”
“I could gun you all down from here, but I would rather do this…personal style.”
He leaped down and landed at the far side of the rooftop
“Ready?” he said, still laughing.
Ann Hiro removed his shirt and flexed his abs. "Yes. I am ready. "
With that they leaped at eachother, metaphorical guns blazzing.
“I kill you dead”
Thomas Nair punched Ann Hiro in the nose

Ann Hiro fell backwards in pain punching a few times before crashing to the ground.
“Ha Ha Ha Ha” laughed Thomas Nair
“You could never have defeated me, so why did you even try?”
“I had too, for all that is good and just in the world.”
“Well now you will die. Goodbye.”
Thomas Nair leaned over Ann Hiro holding his penis.

“Quick Ann Hiro use this!” said Death Man ,chucking a nearby TV towards Ann Hiro.
Ann Hiro grabbed it and chucked it towards Thomas Nair hard, knocking him backwards….off the edge of the skyscrapper!
“Goodbye, Thomas Nair have a nice fall!”
“ARrrrrgggg”

“We are safe now, he fell to certain doom.”
Death Man and Sam got out from the bush where they were doing stuff. “Thank you, you saved us all”
“Dont mention it.”

So they left the tower and went home. They lived happily ever after and had lots of kids.
The End

Feb 07, 2014 at 12:44AM EST
Quote

Since it exceeded the post character limit to have 2 of these things.

One day, they all found out they were Mighty Morphines…this is what happened;

MuHhahaha! The Evil Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair laughed as he looked at his vaste armies!!! "Soon I will destroy the Know Your Meme!!! And nothing can stop me!!!

Mighty Morphine Natsuru felt really dperessed one day. She had just found out that she was adopted. Her real parents turned out to be nobels from Europe. They had a castle and were mighty richt! But she had none of that richness around. It made her feel pretty bad about herself so she listened to some good music.

But long she did not have to be depressed as Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro came in and held her hand (they had falled in love at the end of the story see). And he said: “I love oyu so much, it hurts. What is wrong with you? If you feel bad then I feel bad.”
So Mighty Morphine Natsuru told him the whole story. He was shocked to hear this and said “I’m really shocked to hear this! Your parents are awefull!”
“Which ones?”
“All four of them, I don’t like them. As much as I don’t like Mighty Morphine Markhaox!”
And that was a lot because Mighty Morphine Natsuru knew that Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro hated Mighty Morphine Markhaox because she was consistently stupid and annoying.
But Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro took out a letter, “this had just arrived,” said Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro.
Mighty Morphine Natsuru openend the envolupe and inside was an invitation:
“Most Esteemed Mighty Morphine Natsuru said the message”
“You are condord invited to the royal ball of your parents. Your real parents, miss.”
“We hope to see you soon. A royal goodbye to you, dutchess!”

Oh my, said Mighty Morphine Natsuru this is aweomse. But Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro was a little sceptic: “Maybe it’s a trick.”
“Why?” said Mighty Morphine Natsuru
“Because there are…. rumours. Of Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair still being around!”
“Surely he could not come all the way to Europe!?” said Mighty Morphine Natsuru wisely because she didn’t think that Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair could travel that far.
“Hurm,” said Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro contagiously, “we just have to be careful.”
“Hold on,” exlciamed Mighty Morphine Natsuru, there is something else in the invitation!
“Princess Mighty Morphine Natsuru, hereby we also bestow upon you the keys to the cage of a flying unicorn your parents have provided you with. Also, whenever you hold this key in your hand, your powers are increased”
Mighty Morphine Natsuru was really happy with that but also felt a little bad for Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro. After they had a relaction ship, Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro had taught her his Erotic Aura and she picked it up really well! She was now even better at Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro at the Erotic Aura!

So they went and picked up the flying unicorn. It was really quick and agile and flew around them like it really enjoyed itself! It took a moment but with enough training and perversion, Mighty Morphine Natsuru trained it to her will! Now they could go and visit their parents!

But little did they know that the invitation was not from Mighty Morphine Natsuru’s european nobel parents, but from Mighty Morphine Markhaox instead! And she had teamed up with Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair!
(A/N this is more goth than usually but I really like it this way! )

It looked like Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair had saught Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro out! Ever since Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro’s parents told him that he was in fact a half vampire (or a dhampire), he had feared being discovered by Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair especially after Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro remembred the terrible secret of his past.

Mighty Morphine Natsuru looked with concerned at Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro, “what is wrong Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro?”
Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro did not wait to answer her. He turned on one of his new found vampire powers and listened to Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair’s commands.

Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair was commanding his lackeys to search Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro out. After villain had harshly interrogatedand tortured and flayed their skin of their bones Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair had discovred the truth behind Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro! And he told his henchmen that he had.
“I have discovered the secret behind Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro’s percentage” Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair told his henchmen.
His lackeys smiled wickedly and took their weapons and rushed into the shopping centre leaving behind a bloody trail of dead and mutilated bodies. They had no concern for any of the shops fortunately the colour of spilled blood matched the goth clothes so they could still be resold.

Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro and Mighty Morphine Natsuru and Mighty Morphine Zarrath faught like lions that were fighting among each other for the last scrap of meat and mannished to defacate most of the henchmen.

But then Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair stapped forwar and spoke: “I know your secret!”
Then Mighty Morphine Zarrath said: “How do you know about Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro being a half vampire (a/n: or dhampire, really!)?”
Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair laughed and said: “you just told me! But also, I read it on Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro’s facebook!”
Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro gasped, he thaguht that he had posted it only for friends and not public! Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro had to be careful with his privacy settings because thye keep changing all the time (a/n: urrrgh, so annoying!)
But Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair did nothing but launching. Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair then said: but that is not what I had discovered!"
Oh no! both Mighty Morphine Zarrath and Mighty Morphine Natsuru gasped but Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro could only think of. They did not know the truth. That Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro was really rapped by Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair before Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro even knew of Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair’s name!
“I know that it was you so long ago who I raped before me and did everything that I had ever wanted to do with sucgh a fine pretty piece of meat like you!We went to the park, played videogames, watched cartoons! It was great! When I raped you by touching your hand, I am truely sorry…that was an accident I admit”
Oh no! gasped Mighty Morphine Natsuru and she felt really bad for Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro because even though she knew that Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro didn’t love her and was really depressed, she really didn’t expect this.
And Mighty Morphine Zarrath was also shocked because he knew the Mighty Morphine Markhaox and Mighty Morphine Sam knew a great secret that he didn’t know, he still didn’t know it was going to be this kind of secret!

Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro felt very depressed all the sudden. He lost the will to fight and dropped his weapon before Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair and villain laughed very loudly.

Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair then said: “I have you now under my omplete spell like I had that so long ago!”

(A/N I wanted a cliff hanger here but I’m sooooo excited to share the next but of story with you! " )
So they defeated Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair and everyone was satisfied!

Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair: what do you mean, it’s not over yet?! I’m invincible!
Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro: No No, back into your box!
Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair: Grrrr. You will never get me in my box. I am too large and too sexy!
Author: Ohh no, it looks like the characters still want a story!
Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro: of course we do! Or cake. I love cake!
Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair: Well I’m gonna steal your cake!
Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro: Noooo! Where will I get my sugar high from now?!
Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair: mhuahahaha, life isn’t worht living without caaaaaaaaake, so just die already will you?!
Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro: I cant fault your logic :(, life isn’t worth living without the awesomeness of cake. Farewell bitter world of cakelessness!
Mighty Morphine Zarrath: chotto mate-ah!
Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair: huh ;^^;
Mighty Morphine Natsuru: domo desu-ka @
@?
Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro: Caaaaaake, need cake. Like brains, but cake!
Mighty Morphine Zarrath: well, I want you, how about that?
Mighty Morphine Zarrath winked at Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro, but .
But Mighty Morphine Natsuru was all hot ’n that, Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro thought. So Mighty Morphine Ann Hiro pecked Mighty Morphine Natsuru on her cheek and winked longingly at her.

Author: well, looks like they’ll be busy for a little while. Cake?.
Mighty Morphine Thomas Nair: Nooo the cake is a lie. Gimme it!

The end

Feb 07, 2014 at 12:52AM EST
Quote

This is what I got.


One day Thomas the Tank Engine was watching Spirit buttfuck Rain.

One night Thomas the Tank Engine had been drinking too much beer. at the local fight club.
He felt very nice and enjoyed it very much.
Then all the sudden he saw a stranger walking.
Not just any stranger because real strangers dont exist!
This one was evil!
Thomas the Tank Engine ran to stranger and hit him, it was Fluttershy!
“How dare you..you.. villain! I kill you by murder!”
“Yes, we fight now!”

No Thomas the Tank Engine screamed in agony. and he screamed a lots you know. it really really hurt. the pain that is. Trust me, youd scream hurt! Our hero took his mighty weapon and went balistik on him.

“Oh no! It was my friend! And my friend there is really a man!”
“My friend! said Thomas the Tank Engine, you are a man!” he said and saying he did!

“Oh that is good” said Thomas the Tank Engine “No it is not! Mahaha!!. You see i must kill you because I was told to by the magiccomputer mouses legacy!” “But not today!”, with that the villianess villian ran off into the sunset.

So Thomas the Tank Engine got onto his moterbike. The others followed on their cars but were quite far behind.
Thomas the Tank Engine knew he had to go faster and faster like the speed of sound. So He raced down streets and around cornors, skiding furiously around pedestrions and cops.
“No time for rules!” he called out as he passed.
“I have to take my full responsibilities of life!” he said.
Suddenly up ahead he saw some bad guys!
So he did a massive wheely backflip over them, punching them in the face as he was above them.
“Eat my fist!” He yellwed as he knocked them out. ’Their heads went flying off,spraying guts everywhere.
He speed onwards past fields and volcanoes and cities and castles and other landscape.
Then he saw the roadsign to where he had to go, and so he went. He whacked some more bad guys out with a sideways 360 spin, before leaping off the bike.
Later, when the others catched up, they continued their journey.
So they defeated Fluttershy and everyone was satisfied!

Fluttershy: what do you mean, it’s not over yet?! I’m unstopable!
Thomas the Tank Engine: No No, back into your box!
Fluttershy: Grrrr. You will never get me in my box. I am too large and too sexy!
Author: Ohh no, it looks like the characters still want a story!
Thomas the Tank Engine: of course we do! Or cake. I love cake!
Fluttershy: Well I’m gonna steal your cake!
Thomas the Tank Engine: Noooo! Whats going to be my dinner now!?
Fluttershy: mhuahahaha, life isn’t worht living without caaaaaaaaake, so just die already will you?!
Thomas the Tank Engine: Bwwwaaa!, life isn’t worth living without the awesomeness of cake. Farewell bitter world of cakelessness!
Unstopable Thomas the Tank Engine: chotto mate-ah!
Fluttershy: huh ;^^;
Rain: domo desu-ka @
@?
Thomas the Tank Engine: Caaaaaake, need cake. Like brains, but cake!
Unstopable Thomas the Tank Engine: well, I want you, how about that?
Unstopable Thomas the Tank Engine winked at Thomas the Tank Engine, but .
But Rain was all hot ’n that, Thomas the Tank Engine thought. So Thomas the Tank Engine pecked Rain on her cheek and winked longingly at her.

Author: well, looks like they’ll be busy for a little while. Cake?.
Fluttershy: Nooo the cake is a lie. Gimme it!

The end

Feb 07, 2014 at 11:12AM EST
Quote

this is so fucked up.
_____________________________________________________

Adventures of Donot Steel : The True Story

Once apon a time…

I’m sooo sorry for not updating! I’m working really hard on some other cool stories (but I can’t tell you about that in case holywood wants to steal my ideas. It’s that good!

As usually, the fandom characters aren’t mine, but everything else is! That includes the unique VERSION of the fandom characters seen in this story.
Enjoy!

Summary:
I suck at writing summaries. Bsides the ‘fic isn’t that long!

Donot Steel was sitting behind his pc. He felt the tears well up in his eyes . After their last adventure, Donot Steel found out just exactly how cruel people could be. How hurtful and judging real humans actually were. Donot Steel stared at a picture of a tiger. A magnificent beast who would not hesitate to kill him but at least it would be quick. Not a overlong conspiracy of many years, just to be unleashed on him when he was at his weakest and darkest moment. When he needed his friends the most.

But there had been one small ray of hope in this whole nightmare. Donot Steel remembered fondly the day he discovered it. It was a tuesday morning he rememberanced. The memories surfaced before his mind’s eye and took the most wonderful shapes. Before Donot Steel well knew it, a single tear welled up in his eyes and trickled down his cheek.
Because even when all his ‘friends’ betrayed him, there was one consistant factor in his life: Sonic.

And Donot Steel knew that the rising aspirations between them could never become true, the feelings Donot Steel had for Sonic were the only thing in this world that still felt true to him. No lies, just that single, pure sense and feeling for Sonic.

Alas, Donot Steel thought to himself. Why must they battle? Why must Donot Steel be destined to annihilate Sonic? Can he ever tell Sonic how much Sonic means to Donot Steel?

If only he could. Then all his pain would be over. No more betrayal. No more suffering under the laughter from Serenity Darkmoon Raven (who told him she loved him, only to stab him right inti the heart at valentines day!). No, only Sonic and Donot Steel’s true feelings for him.

A/N Lol this has all been so depressive lol! My next bit will be less dark!
“You know, I think Hulks uncle would be better easier dont you think?” said Roary the race car “No, but he is trickyer than some ming vases.” replied Hulk.
“We will have to agree to dissagree.”
“What ARE you talking about?” said Donot Steel.
And they all laughed.

It must be here somewhere, but I have no idea where it could be", wondered Donot Steel
At that moment, Roary the race car fell down some steps near a building.
At the bottom was Sonic`s new skyscraper!
As they entered there was lots of gaurds. So they swung back there trenchcoats and shot them all.
(but no one died!).
“Ok, he is sure to be in the big room at the top " said Hulk pressing the correct elivator button
The elivator went up a few floors. SUDDENLY there was a bang on the roof!
“hide!” shouted Doctor Who.
And they did. Which is just as well, because seconds later…
The hatch opened and a couple of ninjas with hand granades pirouetted down.
“oh god! What are we going to do!?” said Roary the race car
“We gota think fast” said Hulk “Ok”
“I know you dont like violence, Donot Steel, But you have to do this. Do it for me. please..” Said Serenity Darkmoon Raven “Ok, your right, I know we have to fight them” said Donot Steel who did a massive mighty super kirate kick just as the first soldier landed
but it missed!. Fortunatly Serenity Darkmoon Raven was there to catch Donot Steel. And did a kick-arse ninja kick in return which knocked them unconscious.
“Nice work. But its not over yet! Look!”
A bomb fell down, but they diffused it.
Ding! They had reached their floor.
“So you have come” said a voice booming from the sky
A helicopter appeared above them. Sonic laughed at them “Ha Ha Ha Ha”
“I could gun you all down from here, but I would rather do this…personal style.”
He leaped down and landed at the far side of the rooftop
“Ready?” he said, still laughing.
Donot Steel removed his shirt and flexed his abs. “Yes. I am ready. I was born ready.”
With that they leaped at eachother, metaphorical guns blazzing.
“I kill you dead”
Sonic kicked Donot Steel in the nose

Donot Steel fell backwards in pain punching a few times before crashing to the ground.
“Ha Ha Ha Ha” laughed Sonic
“You could never have defeated me, so why did you even try?”
“I had too, for all that is good and just in the world.”
“Well now you will die. Goodbye.”
Sonic leaned over Donot Steel holding his sword.

“Quick Donot Steel use this!” said Serenity Darkmoon Raven ,chucking a nearby pulse pistol towards Donot Steel.
Donot Steel grabbed it and chucked it towards Sonic hard, knocking him backwards….off the edge of the skyscrapper!
“Goodbye, Sonic have a nice fall!”
“ARrrrrgggg”

“We are safe now, he fell to certain doom.” Roary the race car and Hulk got out from the toliet where they were doing stuff. “Thank you, you saved us all” “Dont mention it.”
But then! Sonic appeared! He had landed in his helicopter!
“I will get you next time! I will kill you all!” To Be Continued!

Feb 07, 2014 at 01:01PM EST
Quote

You Ready? Here we go!

Once apon a time…

Barney woke up one day and discovered that he was goth. his parents had come to him and told him that he was really adopted and was in fact the decadent of dracula!

So now knowing that Barney was the relative of the great emperor of the darkness, Barney saw that he had to change everything about him because he was not really what he thought he was.

But luck would have it that Barney’s best friends Female Sidekick 1 and SexyFurry784359 had heard the news of Barney’s parents and that they had arranged to accompany Barney on his journey to find himself. First stop….the shopping centre!

At the shoppingcenter Barney went to all the cool black clothes stores. Now that he was really a half vampire, or as his parents told him, a dhampire (a/n: really, that’s what they’re called!), his parents had given him a credit card with ulminited funds to become his true self!

But Barney was really actually very drepssed. It was really hard to suddenly discoger that your parents had lied to you all those yaers and it wasn’t made it any better by Barney suddenly remembering a horrible thuing of his past. Barney was sexkually abused! And now Barney also remembered by who but he didn’t dare to tell Female Sidekick 1 and SexyFurry784359 because he was afraid that thye would discover what had happened to Barney and why Barney was depressed!

So while they were picking out black and red clothes and nail polish, Barney tried to fight his tears by listening to Evanessence. Because for the first time in Barney’s life, he had the feeling someone understood his pain. So Barney listened to the songs in one ear while using his other ear to follow SexyFurry784359’s story.

But it was so difficult because Barney…. really loved SexyFurry784359!
Barney knew these were wrong feelings to have because… younknow, it’s SexyFurry784359 and their love would make life very difficult because Barney also remembered a prophecy that someone had told him in the past (before he was rapped) and that said that if Barney would ever fall in love with SexyFurry784359, that then Orson Welles would find them and kill them!

And as Barney was putting on some new crimson boats that went well with the dark black spiky cloak that Female Sidekick 1 had recommended, Barney suddenly saw a glint in the distance and he knew instantly what it was: it was the diamond cock ring of Orson Welles! He had come to haunt Barney and destroy SexyFurry784359!

Then our sexybloodthirsty gang knew what to do. They had to infiltrate Orson Welles’s scary phallic shaped volcano but in order to do so, they had to wear a disguise.

Barney thought long and hard about the best disguise. They couldn’t be too obvious or threatening because then Orson Welles’s guards could catch them. But they couldn’t look too mundane because then Orson Welles’s guards would never let them in.They couldn’t go naked, as they were likely to be distracted.By Sex.
No… they had to be clever.

So Barney, after a suggestion from SexyFurry784359, came up with the best idea he had: they would dress up in gothic clothes!
Barney’s friends were a little skeptic at the idea, but they all agreed it was for the best. But where would they get the best gothic clothing to surprise the guards with?
Female Sidekick 1 knew exactly the best store to go: BD Sports! (the BD stands for Blood).

So they all went there in the dread of the night and took out the patrolling store guards with their silenced pistols, ‘paw!’ ‘paw!’, leaving only a single red dot in their forehead SexyFurry784359 deactivated the alarm and so they could easily get into the store and take whatever they need in order to infiltrate Orson Welles’s headquarters

Barney put on nice tight redleather pantsthat made his man bulge stand out quite nicely. . Then a black tanktop with My Chemical Romance’s logo on the back and on top of it all a nice long leather coat with blood-red streaks on the side. Then he painted his nails black and used red blood to draw little drops of blood on there
Female Sidekick 1 wore a short red skirt with long black stockings that had holes where the toes would go so she could still paint her toenails. And she also had a corset made from cerberus teeth that looked so awesome on her. Over this all she had a long leather coat. SexyFurry784359 also had cool clothes (A/N but I’m running out of imagination to describe it, so I guess he looked like Neo from the Matrix i know it’s an old movie but those clothes look soooo cool)

Finally they were ready to face Orson Welles!
“You are powerless to defeat me!, Im indestructable,” said Orson Welles
“Oh I beat you rotten egg, youll run back crying to your momma.
The hot one (that is,the one that wasnt decapitated)
(which you can read about in my other great fanfic)
“Mhuahahaaha I dont need no mother, I am after all allmighty”.
After that, Barney leaped down onto the vulcano plato of doom , with SexyFurry784359 just behind him.
He was in luck because he just managed to jump on it but didnt fall in it. It would have been a short story if he fell in it.
There was lava all around him. The hotness made him sweat with anticipation. SexyFurry784359 called to him: “are you alright friend, you fell quite hard”. “I am always hard for you baby!” “Im an expert at falling,” spoke Barney, “especially with girls.”’ At that moment lava errupted around him like a climaxing penis.
Orson Welles stood looking at our hero with his cape flapping in hotness.
He beared an expression of smugness. “I had told you, I am invincible, I cannot be killed, I cannot die, I cannot breath. And I have this!!!”’
Suddenly he held the Love aloft.
“This is what you want!

This is what you need! But its mine now. You cant stop me.’
“Noo….not the Love”
“Yes. The Love”
“The Love!” gasped Female Sidekick 1
“Yes. The Love”
Suddenly a bolt of lightning went through in the air, strikking left and right but not hitting the lava plato they were all standing on.
The Villain lit up dark in the flash of lightning. His features scary.
Laughing as he stood there, he approached Barney, “Give up and go home, Female Sidekick 1 doesnt love you anyway.”
“Thats not true!
I sex her every other night!”
“And the other nights?…”
Barney ran forward and fought him (by slashing into him while Orson Welles evaded his attack and shoot fire from his fingertips)
But every time he hit Orson Welles, he just smiled and hit him back.
In between dodging lava ejectulations, Orson Welles said: “You cannot beat me, join me, and we will rule together!”
NEVERRRRRRRR!!!!” He YELLED HARD!
“Then you will lose, and I will win and destroy everything you care for.”
“I HATE YOU!!” said Barney and ran towards him with hismassiveweapon drawn.
“Pathetic human, you can not beat me since I have this Incinerator!”"
“No?! You have created it?! What have you done?!”
“Oh it was just a simple thing. With the help of your friend,” He said while dodging another lava ejactulation, "I finished it just yesterday. Oh my, a lovely night we had.
“Me and my full 10 inches,oh yes.”
“Your a monster and you will die, you monster!”
Barney ran towards Orson Welles, just dodging a fire ball, leaping towards a plato in the lava, dodging a lava ejaxtualatuion, landing on a rock
He surfed like Legolas in Lord of the Rings on his skateboard towards the villain again, who in turn laughed out loud and smirked and took another fireball in his hands because he really wanted to kill the Barney

NOW!!!” SHOUTED our hero and his female companion lifted her top and Orson Welles was distracted by the bouncing blobs of womanflesh.
Using this to his outmost tactical advancement Barney grapped Love from Orson Welles and stabbed him in his eyes Blood gushed out.
“Owch! While I had the Love I could not be harmed. But now it was taken from me I can and was and it hurt”
He staggereed around and grabbed into the air, he was dying. “You are all dooomed, doomed! You will die and I will see your death come to you and your family and your families family family.”
Suddenly an ejacturalition of lava sprung up and whooshed him with its flames, leaving behind only ashes and his shoes.
“Oh, you are my Hero!” squeeled Female Sidekick 1 and embraced him. “If only a single thing survives, his evilness will spread and evily corrupted the goodness of all good people” And he kicked the shoes into the lava.A skullformed smoke went up from the lava and went away as quickly as the shoes were kicked into the lava.
“Barney , Barney, I love you! But we only have 6 minutes to escape before this volcano erupts!!!”
“Then quick, we must leave and leave this place behind, said Barney and left this place behind.”
Just in time, when the last second of the clock was about tick, Barney and the sidekicks got out and everything crashed behind him, leaving only smoke and dust and stones behind in the rubble."
And they all made loveby fucking eachother. Meanwhile…a claw slowly emerged from the lava….
The End
or is it? (its not!)

Feb 07, 2014 at 01:20PM EST

sorry i couldn’t help myself i had to make more and i will post them both as a stand alone comment since i cannot post them all in one sadly.
our first story have everything from RandomMan to Zombies

Agent Handsome Jack,Emo RandomMan and Ultimate Rarity were all sitting in their house that they owned one day…

Agent Handsome Jack woke up next to Emo RandomMan.
(earlier that week he found out he was gay)
“Zombie Korra The Avatar is back, I can smell him…”
“If she is back, then she must be a zombie!”
“Indeed”
Suddenly Ultimate Rarity came in quickly.
“Zombie Korra The Avatar is back, she has killed Unicorn Lara Croft and Jr. Link !!!”
“Frelll” yelled Agent Handsome Jack

At that moment Ultimate Rarity droped dead on the floor, a rolled up paper sticked out from her back.
Her guts feel out of her, staining the carpet and makeing the nearby hand mirror messy

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!” said our hero.
“Nooooooooooooo!!!” He repeated, in an upset tone of voice.
“She was my friend, I am very upset!”
“There there, Agent Handsome Jack.” Emo RandomMan patted Agent Handsome Jack on the back.
“Thanks, thats better :)”
“Look! She has something in her hand!”
Agent Handsome Jack ripped open the flesh from the hand,spraying blood everywhere.
Inside was a secret encrypted, coded note:
“The pulse pistol walks slowly into the Star Of David as the wooden sword of evil returns.”

“This must be a clue!”
“lets go!”

Arriving at the mysterious shack, Agent Handsome Jack found that there was an item laying on the table in the shack. Around the shack was a mysterious circle drawn in intestines.

“Its dangerious!” said Emo RandomMan who as usually was hiding behind Agent Handsome Jack. Agent Handsome Jack carefully manuvred into the shack and on his tiptoes and marched forward. The floorboards beneath his feet croaked and Agent Handsome Jack could hear a loud hummer coming from the table. There the Spiderman laid. Right there for his taking.

But Agent Handsome Jack was clever. Agent Handsome Jack knew it was a trap!

So Agent Handsome Jack said to Emo RandomMan, “Why don’t you take it, it looks safe.”
And Emo RandomMan was like “Oh, well, if you’re sure, I will!”
Agent Handsome Jack slowly paced backwards and let him to do the taking. Agent Handsome Jack knew that if it was a trap, Emo RandomMan would be triggering it. And then Zombie Korra The Avatar would get him, but not him. Agent Handsome Jack knew Emo RandomMan wouldn’t mind sacrifcing himself for him. He always said that.
But forutnately when Emo RandomMan grabbed the Spiderman, nothing happened. Except they were suddenly attacked by Ninja’s!

They poofed! into the shack and threw shurikons at them, but they managed the dodge them quite well (by using the table as a ram and driving them to the door).

They defeated them quite quickly, they were no match for them. they smashed their heads in and ripped their clothes off and stabbed them until they stopped moving Hero’s blade was serenaded, so it ripped their stomachs open and blood and guts flew everywhere. Then when everything was dead, Agent Handsome Jack licked off the blade .

But now with the Spiderman in their hands, they could take Zombie Korra The Avatar straight on!
They arrived at Zombie Korra The Avatar’s house and entered
“You have arrived I see. Pitty, I was just talking to my Boss”
“Your boss?” said everyone.
“HE MEANS ME!!!”
Suddenly, SATAN appeared behind them!

OMG” they all said in unison.
“Your G wont save you now, mere mortals”
With that, she struck down his falk and killed Zombie Korra The Avatar.
ARRGGGGG. I secretly loved him” said Agent Handsome Jack,’"Dead?! Noooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".
“You see? I am evil. I killed. I am Satan”
“You know, I think your sister would be better prettier dont you think?” said Agent Handsome Jack.
“What??”
Agent Handsome Jack smiled softly as he knew what he meant.
Dramaticaly,Agent Handsome Jack pulled out A BIBLE!
“With the TRUE word of GOD our saviour and with the power of CHRIST I compel you to LEAVE!”
NOOO ARRGGGG NOT THE HOLY WORD OF GOD! MY POWERS OF EVOLUTION AND RATIONAL REASON IS NO MATCH!!!”
Satan exploded with the holy light of justice!
“This is true power, not that evil magic” said Agent Handsome Jack!

Last edited Feb 07, 2014 at 02:40PM EST
Feb 07, 2014 at 02:36PM EST
Quote

Viuff wrote:

sorry i couldn’t help myself i had to make more and i will post them both as a stand alone comment since i cannot post them all in one sadly.
our first story have everything from RandomMan to Zombies

Agent Handsome Jack,Emo RandomMan and Ultimate Rarity were all sitting in their house that they owned one day…

Agent Handsome Jack woke up next to Emo RandomMan.
(earlier that week he found out he was gay)
“Zombie Korra The Avatar is back, I can smell him…”
“If she is back, then she must be a zombie!”
“Indeed”
Suddenly Ultimate Rarity came in quickly.
“Zombie Korra The Avatar is back, she has killed Unicorn Lara Croft and Jr. Link !!!”
“Frelll” yelled Agent Handsome Jack

At that moment Ultimate Rarity droped dead on the floor, a rolled up paper sticked out from her back.
Her guts feel out of her, staining the carpet and makeing the nearby hand mirror messy

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!” said our hero.
“Nooooooooooooo!!!” He repeated, in an upset tone of voice.
“She was my friend, I am very upset!”
“There there, Agent Handsome Jack.” Emo RandomMan patted Agent Handsome Jack on the back.
“Thanks, thats better :)”
“Look! She has something in her hand!”
Agent Handsome Jack ripped open the flesh from the hand,spraying blood everywhere.
Inside was a secret encrypted, coded note:
“The pulse pistol walks slowly into the Star Of David as the wooden sword of evil returns.”

“This must be a clue!”
“lets go!”

Arriving at the mysterious shack, Agent Handsome Jack found that there was an item laying on the table in the shack. Around the shack was a mysterious circle drawn in intestines.

“Its dangerious!” said Emo RandomMan who as usually was hiding behind Agent Handsome Jack. Agent Handsome Jack carefully manuvred into the shack and on his tiptoes and marched forward. The floorboards beneath his feet croaked and Agent Handsome Jack could hear a loud hummer coming from the table. There the Spiderman laid. Right there for his taking.

But Agent Handsome Jack was clever. Agent Handsome Jack knew it was a trap!

So Agent Handsome Jack said to Emo RandomMan, “Why don’t you take it, it looks safe.”
And Emo RandomMan was like “Oh, well, if you’re sure, I will!”
Agent Handsome Jack slowly paced backwards and let him to do the taking. Agent Handsome Jack knew that if it was a trap, Emo RandomMan would be triggering it. And then Zombie Korra The Avatar would get him, but not him. Agent Handsome Jack knew Emo RandomMan wouldn’t mind sacrifcing himself for him. He always said that.
But forutnately when Emo RandomMan grabbed the Spiderman, nothing happened. Except they were suddenly attacked by Ninja’s!

They poofed! into the shack and threw shurikons at them, but they managed the dodge them quite well (by using the table as a ram and driving them to the door).

They defeated them quite quickly, they were no match for them. they smashed their heads in and ripped their clothes off and stabbed them until they stopped moving Hero’s blade was serenaded, so it ripped their stomachs open and blood and guts flew everywhere. Then when everything was dead, Agent Handsome Jack licked off the blade .

But now with the Spiderman in their hands, they could take Zombie Korra The Avatar straight on!
They arrived at Zombie Korra The Avatar’s house and entered
“You have arrived I see. Pitty, I was just talking to my Boss”
“Your boss?” said everyone.
“HE MEANS ME!!!”
Suddenly, SATAN appeared behind them!

OMG” they all said in unison.
“Your G wont save you now, mere mortals”
With that, she struck down his falk and killed Zombie Korra The Avatar.
ARRGGGGG. I secretly loved him” said Agent Handsome Jack,’"Dead?! Noooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".
“You see? I am evil. I killed. I am Satan”
“You know, I think your sister would be better prettier dont you think?” said Agent Handsome Jack.
“What??”
Agent Handsome Jack smiled softly as he knew what he meant.
Dramaticaly,Agent Handsome Jack pulled out A BIBLE!
“With the TRUE word of GOD our saviour and with the power of CHRIST I compel you to LEAVE!”
NOOO ARRGGGG NOT THE HOLY WORD OF GOD! MY POWERS OF EVOLUTION AND RATIONAL REASON IS NO MATCH!!!”
Satan exploded with the holy light of justice!
“This is true power, not that evil magic” said Agent Handsome Jack!

One day Bugs Bunny was Eating Carrots.

princess peach was taking a shower this wonderfull day.
She was naked, enjoying the water dripping over her wet, naked body..
…the water smoothly rolled over her double D breasts.
…the water dripping down her womenly abyss. It felt like bliss incarnated into a sensual emotion of enjoyable pleasure;
She had just finnished pleasureing herself using a monitor . She was dreaming of Bugs Bunnys spear of flesh pulsating inside her.

Then, suddenly, Bugs Bunny ran in.
“Sorry I have to interupt you, naked in the shower, but we must go!”
“What? im taking a shower, Im naked, cant you see that? “yes, I can see that you are naked, in the shower” Bugs Bunny said.
“But we must go…Princess Celestia is back!.”
“What not Princess Celestia!!!”
“Yes!”
“Oh!”
princess peach got out of the shower and put some clothes onher hot steaming naked body.
After she was no longer naked, they left to defeat Princess Celestia.

Along the way they ran into Gabe Newell, who joined them on their quest. "I will join you on your quest to defeat Princess Celestia said Gabe Newell.
“Thanks for joining us on our quest,” said Bugs Bunny;
“Yes, we need your help to defeat Princess Celestia” said princess peach.
So, princess peach Bugs Bunny and now princess peach left for their epic quest to defeat
Princess Celestia!
A/N I got bored with the story but then I read this really cool story about putting the characters in high school! It will be full of drama and emotional problems and other cool stuff@

Princess Celestia is like the school bully but everyone likes her. And Bugs Bunny is like the unpopular kid who is only good at skateboarding & BMX. It’s really unfair to Bugs Bunny because He is really cool actually but no one at the school knows about His superpowers.

Bugs Bunny was in class. He was paying well attention because Bugs Bunny wanted to go to the best universities. But like always, annoying Princess Celestia was being an bully again. She was annoying other people in class and the teacher but none of them would stand up to her . Until Bugs Bunny could take it no more. Bugs Bunny stood up and said: “Look, that you want to spend the rest of ur life flipping burgers aint my problem!”
Princess Celestia stopped and looked at hero with fury. Others in the class gasped. No one said that to Princess Celestia (althoguh everyone ws secrfetly thinking that).
Princess Celestia laughed and got up from her seat and grinned masly. “What do you want,dweeb? are u here to tell me what to do, huh?”
Bugs Bunny gulped. He had not thought of what to do next now.
But then princess peach and Gabe Newell rized from tier seats too. Bugs Bunny looked at them. they nodded back at him and with their glareing expressions they looked like they could take Princess Celestia on!
And when Bugs Bunny looked on his right, he saw that the teacher had hid himself behind the desk. Even the teacher thought it was suicide to confront Princess Celestia like this!
So Princess Celestia rose up and walked to Bugs Bunny and she said: “I will see you after school. In my turf. U know where to find it!” "I’ll be there, said Bugs Bunny certain of himself!
And Princess Celestia left, leaving behind a trail of cold and shivers whent down Bugs Bunny’s spine. This wasn’t going to end well.
“And Bugs Bunny met Princess Celestia and he said “omgosh you look big and scary”. Princess Celestia laughed.
“I came here to kill you, but now I know I cant. I I..your going to kill me arnt you?” "No, why should I? Your a vampire like me. Look deep into your heart you know it to be true.
Bugs Bunny looked deep into his soul, and saw the truth. He was one. He was on the wrong side all along. He left who he wrongly thought were his friends , and joined his true family.
And so they lived happly ever after as vampires
(doing lots of sex)
Feb 07, 2014 at 02:38PM EST
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Jon Snow woke up one night…


On a cold september, after his great adventures, Jon Snow was wondering what to do that week. He had picked up his life from where he left it and wanted to make something from it. Then all the sudden a strange woman appeared on Jon Snow’s doorstep. She was hiden beneath a long cloak and had long brown nails on her fingers. Her dirty hair fluished down from beneath the cloak and she had glowing eyes!
“You are not who you think you are!” said the strange woman.
“What do you mean?” said Jon Snow
“You are not who you think you are,” she said again with a mysterious crackling voice like a dail up modem.
“I still don’t understand you?” said Jon Snow.
“Here, take this,” she said and gave Jon Snow an TV.
“Take this and give it to your parents or guardian, they will know what to do with it!”
And with that she disappeared before Jon Snow’s eyes!

Jon Snow was confused but thought that he had to do something. But rather than going to his parents or guardian, Jon Snow decided to show it to Rob Stark.
“Oh no,” said Rob Stark, “you must forget about this!”
“Why?” enquired Jon Snow, “what do you know?!”
“I… I can’t tell you. My dear Jon Snow, I didn’t think it would be this soon!”
“What?!” yelled Jon Snow, “are you keeping things away from me?!”
“It’s …. it’s for your own good! You cannot know this!” said Rob Stark and before Jon Snow could do anything, Rob Stark had escaped his grasp.
“No! Dammit! When will I ever know the truth?!”
Jon Snow was feeling depressed. One of his best friends abandoned and betrayed him. It hurt.He cut himself to make the pain go away, but it only helped a bit. So Jon Snow wanted to find Ygritte. After their adventure, Jon Snow and Ygritte had been spending a lot of time together. Jon Snow kind of started to like her.
So Jon Snow went to Ygritte and told the whole story. She listened to Jon Snow without saying a single word.
Then she said: “OMFG, this is,like, big stuff”
And Jon Snow said: I know! Do you know a way to find out what is happening? Why is everyone hiding things from me?!"
Ygritte sighed and said: “You have always been special, Jon Snow and not just to me.”
“How do you know that?”
Ygritte looked at the DVDcase that Jon Snow had received and said: “it kind of looks like the Horn of Winter, doesn’t it?”
“No it doesn’t”
“Whatever it is, I can recognise it quite well. And I think,” Ygritte said, "that perhaps the mysterious woman wanted you to find something inside of you.
“Inside? Like my heart?”
“No, don’t be silly, like a mamory. Think about it, if your parents lied to you and now Rob Stark doesn’t want to talk to you about your background, perhaps there is a hidden memory in your head!”
Ygritte’s logic was flawless. So Jon Snow had to try it!

So Jon Snow concentrated on the object. immeditately he felt drawn into it. It stated ouit as a vague, fuzzy thing like when you wear glasses and there is a lot of moisture in the air and you see a dog|a cat|some girls circus tents|a soldier in the distance.
But then it turned out that there was a secret memory, hidden beneath the vail layer of mist and fog that filled his earliest childhood memories.

And within that memory, a burning figure appeared. It was Joffrey Baratheon! In hell…

Jon Snow was confused. He didn’t think that memory would be in there, and yet it was there, burning like the fires of a thousand suns and the centre of the earth.
AUTHORS NOTE: I HAVE SKIPED THE JORNEY BIT, BECAUSE IT WOULD BE BOREING..NO AUTHOR WRITES STORYS ABOUT TRAVELING! yawn! ’
“We are almost there. Be thankfull nothing has gone wrong” said Jon Snow as they arrived near there journeys end.’
“Arhhhhhhhhhhhh” said Sam Tarley as he fall down a cliff.
“Nooooo…..”
“There there, it will be ok”
“No..This is something…you cannot ease”
“Why?”
“You dont have boobs!”
“oh”
“Does this help?” said Ygritte. She removed her outer garments, unbuttoned her top, and finally removed her bra. Sam Tarley stared at them awhile, and it made him feel much better.
“Don’t worry, I feel better.”
What happened next was soo cool you will like it a lot, basically, it went like this:

Only it was even cooler because i didnt have to write it! When it was in my head the words didnt get in the way. btw, Excuse me if i skip the words occasionally, its to save me time.
Ok, after they finished the Boxers they went to the base where the final battle started when they got there. Dont worry! The bad guy dies!
And then, suddenly Joffrey Baratheon stood behind them. He held an old book in his hand and the Horn of Winter in the other.
“I see you finaly found me, allthough it will not do you any good. You see, the Horn of Winter is the last componant I need in the ancient magiks of Unholy IntoMeium.
At last I will be one with who I admire most, I will have the true power – from the one that has lead me all these years. My one true ally…
Satan: the Devil incarnated!”

Everyone gasped in horror as they were shocked.
“Behold, prepare to knell before me, as the world soon will!”
With that he spoke the evil words, and the ground shock and cracked, and the skys opened, and insects poured into him and then he was Satan!!
Suddenly, Sam Tarley (who was playing dead) lunged at Satan, grabbing the Horn of Winter off him
With the spell broken, this gave Jon Snow time to stab satan in the eyemaking blood squirt out while sending him back to Hell!
“Our work here is done”
With that, they all went home, safe in the knowledge that Satan was gone and GOD was protecting them all along.

The End


Damn fan fiction writers. The Horn of Winter isn’t some component in some unholy ritual crap. Mance Rayder was considering using the Horn of Winter in A Storm of Swords in order to [Spoilers Redacted]

Feb 07, 2014 at 08:12PM EST
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Thepenguinking2 had been fighting Sonic Boom Knuckless troops all night..



Summary:
I suck at writing summaries. Bsides the ‘fic isn’t that long!

I am Thepenguinking2.

I was sitting behind my desk. I felt the tears well up in my eyes like a waterfall of loss. After Our last adventure, I found out just exactly how cruel people could be. How nasty and intolerant real humans actually were. I stared at a picture of a leopard. A magnificent beast who would not hesitate to kill me but at least it would be quick. Not a overlong conspiracy of many years, just to be unleashed on me when I was at my weakest and darkest moment. When I needed my friends the most.

But there had been one ray of light in this whole ordeal. I remembered fondly the day I discovered it. It was a tuesday morning I rememberanced. The memories surfaced before my mind’s eye and took the most wonderful shapes. Before I well knew it, a single tear welled up in my eyes and trickled down my cheek.
Because even when all my ‘friends’ betrayed me there was one consistant factor in my life: Sonic Boom Knuckles.

And I knew that the rising aspirations between them could never become true, the feelings I had for Sonic Boom Knuckles were the only thing in this world that still felt true to him. No lies, just that single, deep sense and longing for Sonic Boom Knuckles.

Alas, I thought to meself. Why must they battle? Why must I be destined to annihilate Sonic Boom Knuckles? Can I ever tell Sonic Boom Knuckles how much Sonic Boom Knuckles means to me?

If only I could. Then all my pain would be over. No more betrayal. No more suffering under the laughter from Goat (who told him she loved me, only to stab me right inti the heart at valentines day!). No, only Sonic Boom Knuckles and my true feelings for him.

A/N Lol this has all been so depressive lol! My next bit will be less dark!


Fortunately That one guy worked at a newspaper nowadays and he used the hysterical records of the newspaper to find out if there are any wherabouts of Sonic Boom Knuckles’s groopies.
Their search led to a night club in the darkiest and stormiest part of New Bark town. I was a little hesitant to go. It was rather scary and it was dark and stomy in that secting of New Bark town. But the courage in me was greater than my fear because with my Toxic Boosted Facade I should be able to accomplish anything, right, I thought to myself.
And That one guy would join me.

So not to fall out of fashion we both donned their darkest clothing. I had to admit that That one guy looked kind of sexy in that outfit of his. But I didn’t dare to comment on that (I had only just discovered I am bi, and I was a little angxious over that. I wans’t sure if my othre friends would accept that!.
I instead poored down my soul into my make-up. I bore gorgeous magenta finger nails with black streaking fire and gave That one guy the same treatment. That one guy incandesent eyes met mine and for a moment we were both swimming in a pool made of a incandesent combination of their eyes colours. It was romance we knew, but we didn’t know whether it was a forbidden one or not!

Then we went off and defeated Sonic Boom Knuckles.
So we snuck into the Sonic Boom Knuckles’s lair. It was dark and there were horrofic things on the walls.
Through the dark and dank corridors of the lair’s naughty rooms we went with outmost silence and skill. We sneaked past all the guards who had been turned into horrible bears by Sonic Boom Knuckles’s new invention. And this would also happen to the whole world if they wouldn’t be able to steal the What’s a MacGuffin? from Sonic Boom Knuckles’s hands!
They went down the corridors and up the large majestic stairways made of bones and diamonds… One of the corridors led towards a great hall where in the middle of the hall stood a pedestal with a treassure chest on top and on that a red velvet pillow upon which laid a white silk finely woven cloth. And on that laid the What’s a MacGuffin?.

I knew that I had to use the powers of Toxic Boosted Facade (which I learned from Thepenguinking2) to get the What’s a MacGuffin? but it would endanger them all if he wasnt pure of heart enough. Goat inhaled firmly and wondered if I could pull it off. That one guy stood ready with his weapon in his hand . I concentrated firmly and then carefully but powerfully unleashed my Toxic Boosted Facade.

It worked! Thepenguinking2 was amazed at my skill! The shielding around the What’s a MacGuffin? disintegrated like icecream in a microwave. It was amazing how my welding Toxic Boosted Facade was effective against Sonic Boom Knuckles’s unstoppable powers.
Unfortunately for our fearless heroes, it wasn’t enough

“So…you are here” screamed a sinister voice. Everyone slowly spun around to face the entrance of the hall where the voice came from.
It was Sonic Boom Knuckles! And he looked even less humane as before. He had used the power of the What’s a MacGuffin? to transform into a ghastly image of a being.
“Ha! Are you surprised by my new looks?” He said. “It is amazing! The powers I have now are beyond your comprehension!”
“My comprehension is really good,” I retorted and Thepenguinking2 and friends looked proud.
“Hahaha of course yours is. But are you able to comprehend the future of this world? I bet you aren’t that smart after all. I will rule the world now, you see and there is nothing you can do to stop me! Even when Thepenguinking2 taught you evreything he knows!”
“But,” said Sonic Boom Knuckles with a lower tone, “even though you are not as smart as I am, you are surprisingly capable so I wish to make this offer: join me and we can rule this world together!”
“I’ll think about it!” yellewed Thepenguinking2!
“Think about it, you can now still save your friends! Make them stop mutate ebefore I release my powers!”
I saw Thepenguinking2 becoming frightened. I knew he wanted to keep Goat, Espio the Chameleon, Caitlin and That one guy alive but I could not get Sonic Boom Knuckles get away with it! But then I remembered: Sonic Boom Knuckles no longer had the What’s a MacGuffin?! He was powerless!
But as if Sonic Boom Knuckles could read my mind, Sonic Boom Knuckles spoke: “Oh and your scheme to steal the What’s a MacGuffin?? I no longer need it! I have gained all the power from it that I need in order to mutate everyone in the whole world! But not that you even considered going against me, I will destroy you. Such a shame, we could be such good…friends.”
“Claritia would never be friends with you!” said Caitlin

“It is too late now anyway, said Sonic Boom Knuckles, my plan is active now and I will give you the best place to enjoy it: from your prison cell!”
Sonic Boom Knuckles laughed and said to his guards: "lead them to my dungeon where you will suffer for all eternity in agony .

But I had not forgotten Thepenguinking2’s Toxic Boosted Facade. With the speed and cunning that I learned from his previous adventures, he glared and unleashed the Toxic Boosted Facade.
Sonic Boom Knuckles had not expected that. He thought he had trapped me and my friends and managed to demoralise them so much they would not resist.
“Arggg!” Sonic Boom Knuckles said. His guards did not know what to do. Their leader was too weak against this onslaught. What could they do against that sort of might? So they all fled!
“Argh, noooo!” Sonic Boom Knuckles extrapolated, “I was soo close to ultimate power!”
Seeing my succesfully attack Sonic Boom Knuckles, Thepenguinking2, Caitlin and Espio the Chameleon also attacked Sonic Boom Knuckles!

“Arigh, no, noooo!”
“I will unleash my final power!” Sonic Boom Knuckles said and raised his arms to the sky and started proclaiming an evil incantation.
But Thepenguinking2 was too quick. He ran towards Sonic Boom Knuckles and hit Sonic Boom Knuckles in the nose. He was knocked out instantly. Everyone was happy and everyone was cheering for Thepenguinking2 who had avoided the apocalypse! Thepenguinking2 thanked me for my inspiration and actions. And now we all went home and wait until our next adventure!
Feb 07, 2014 at 09:21PM EST
Quote

inb4?


Once apon a time…

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) was rescueing some cat.
Suddenly he bumped into deadly ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).
“Whoa I didnt expect to see you here at your house.”
“Yes I come here every tuesday.”
Suddenly, they made love.He put his Sex in her Sex and they had Sex!
They stared ahead .
But they bumped into a ancient skeliton.
“oh no us have twisted ackles " said ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).
“I believe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is behind this!”
“Really!!?!”
“He is behind an huge crazy plan to enslave ourtown.”
“How”?
Using a powerfull lazer and praying too it.
“can we stop him?”
Yes, by finding the temporaly clock of satan.
“where?”
In the ancient cave , hidden in the ocean of doom , opposite the staircase to nania.
…….. There lies a signpost…it will tell you where to go.
“Who are you?”
“…”
With that the myseterious invisible voice vanished in a puff of smoke.
“Come now, Hero, we must find and seak our quest to do!”
“Indeed thee must hasten to hawk yonder!”
And with that they left

I was introduced at the others at the base. There was of course pretty ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and wise-cracking deadly ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Smart and clever ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and… and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

I too had heard of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and had always been a little insecure about my feelings for him
But here he stood before me, leaning over and drawing drawings on a whiteboard. It looked so manly, so envigorating and virilus.

And when he spoke, he sounded so… I swooned right in front of him.

“We should defeat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°),” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said.
“I agree,” said ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), “but I’m not sure.”
“We can use your new friend,” said ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). "( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) doesn’t know deadly ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). So that should do. We can infiltrate the base like that.
“But deadly ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is still very inexperienced,” said ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), “And I worry about him.”
“Don’t worry,” said ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), “I know deadly ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can take it on. Trust me on that” And he gave me a wink.

In the corners of my eyes I saw ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) stairing first at me, and then at him. And then in a huff, he walked away.

I walked after ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and said: “What’s wrong?”
“Nutting” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said but I didn’t believe him.
“No seriously, you can tell me, I’m really good at picking up on these things.”
“You’re right, you’re really good at picking up on those things,” said ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and sighed. He then said: “You know my past, right?”
I thought to myself, yes, yes I do. I heard of everything about you. And I said: “yes.”
“Well, it… it… makes it hard for me to make connections with people.” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said. A single tear rolled down his cheek. It made it look even more pretty than it already was.
“And I feared,’ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said, ’that when I saw you talk and awke at ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) like that, that you may… you may no longer find me that interesting?”
“But I do!”
‘And without you, I don’t know if the world is still worth saving," ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said with a sniffle, “how can I defeat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) if you won’t be with me?”
“Well, uh, I didn’t think you’d like me that much,” I said blushing manly.

But then, then ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) leaned forward and kissed me. And I no longer knew what to do. Can I be in love with both? Why must I choose?
They left ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)’s car(A luxery honda landrover jeep Volkswagen mini with climate control, extra ABS, on green energy sources) and they stood before the place ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) had been amassing her forces. It was the gateway to hell. And finally they got confirmation for what they had been expected all along… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)…. was satan!(Also known as Lucyifer, or the moaning star)

But that did not deter him. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) could press on and 70 seeing his courage, his friends too found the strenght in themselves to push themselves to the limit for him.

But then they heard a loud noise, like the stamping of feet or like a bad car engine or when they try and make the ground flat enough so they can build a side-walk. All around them, demons appeared!

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) had them. And ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) knew that what she was going to do with them, it wasn’t going to be pretty!or involve much clothing!
or suitable for children!

But then ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) saw shining wings sprouting from his bottom. Where had once been the golden and silver tattooes, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) had wings!(( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) was upset ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) lost the tattoos though, it hurt him bad. But ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) knew sacrifices had to be made)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) spread them out before him and stretched them.There was silence all around as ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) did so They were at least 4 meters in windspan.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) then turned to ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). She gawked in awe at him. It was a power she had not seen before.
“This power,” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said, “This power is… I have never… seen… such power.”
Even ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) looked in awe at him. And then she said what everyone (including him) had been thinking but didn’t dare to say: “You’re an… you’re an… an…”
“Say it, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said” “Tell the truth, I can take it!” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said as ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) felt the burning nerves in his body floating in his stomach.
“An Angel,” said ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in absolute and utter awe. “THis I… I never have seen before”
deadly ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) were just as much in awe. Though with deadly ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) knew it was because he just loved him so much. When ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) looked in his eyes, it was like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) was drowing in a puddle of the deepest of colours. When he takes him every evening, ravages his wheeping cock. And every night he asks him, “Are you truly from heaven” as his leaky hose lays there, resting from a long and hard struggle. Now he knew the answer. And deep inside of him, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) was happy. Happy that he could finally have him as how ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) am, not what ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) pretended to be.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) stretched his wings further and light came from beneath them, surrounding everyone in the luminating light. The demons had to hide their horrible feces beneath their wings as not to be blidned by the beauty of his light.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) fell down on her knees and raised her arms in prayer: “Oh god, let me live. Let me be a part of the light again@”

And ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) looked down upon him and took out a katana that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) had been carrying on his back all this time and with one quick sweep ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) cut ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) head clean off. In intimidation, all demons also lost their heads. Before them the portal exploded in rays of light and blue and greens and cyans. It was a wonderous spectacle to behold!

deadly ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ran into his arms and whispered naughty things in his ear. That was what they were going to do tonight, after they’re back and rested a bit. Then he would bang him so deep, his rod would come out the other side. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) was looking forward to it.

Then ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) was crowned king of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) would live many many lives after this one.

Feb 07, 2014 at 09:29PM EST
Quote

@Kebab Removal Unit

Feb 08, 2014 at 01:52PM EST

Stanley Parable fanfic with Stanley and other employees. It didn’t turn out the way that I expected.


Hahahaha! the Narrator laughed as he stared at his vaste armies!!! "Soon I will rule all the the building!!! And nothing can stop me!!!

Serenity Sakura Glorifica

I was born under the shady dark red moon of the last oktober of the second millenium after the Great Shit. .

My father was the king of all the lands of our kingdom from the Beyond. My mother was born of the Ferry of Wisdom and Beauty.

Every day I ware the most beautyfil outfits the worlds have ever seen. My favourte is a radient blue jacket that reaches down to my angles and is decorated with signs of insignia. I take long walks at the palance skiresort where I am acoompanied by my faithful Jortföljitr (A/N: I got that name after I watched Thor!), my faithful companion ferral dire lionworf.

But one day I was walking down the beach and then I saw a great dark light appearing in the middle of the beach. It was great and dark and was everywhere but especially the middle where it was the greatest and darkest of all.

Oh faithful Jortfulljitar! I said!
Jortfalhitr looked at me with his great black eyes and snuffled up to me in fear and comfort. And growled at the grat Black and Dark lgith. Jortfialjiral was a great and vicious beast I evaganlised in my head. But I must have said it out loud because behind me a mysterious voice said my gosh! You are right!.
It was Stanley!

I had heard of Stanley all this time but I had never met His! I wouldn’t have dreamed to actually see that He existed in this dimension! My father is the king of all the realms and dimensions and he had known that Stanley lived in one of his rears and but it was quite exciting.

But I cared for none of that. Because when I saw Stanley, I was lost in his the perfect orbs of his soul that was embedded deeply wthin his head.
After what seemed like eaons we were awoken from our mutational dream . Because…….!!
Eyjafjallajökul groelwd once more at the great black thing (it was sort of like a swirly thing, but sworly doesn’t quite sound epic so i didn’t describe it as swirly. But it knid of is)… and it rapped open!

From within the deepest and darkest earas of the realsm I saw forthcoming a beast of greatness. It’s evilness was radiating from the skins of other beings that it wore and swriwling around its head ( I think it was its head) came forth the souls of the beings that had suffered while it atea them.
I was flabbergasted. I reached out from my blue jacket and I held before more the AllDUst that my mother had enstruated to me so long ago. I held it before me and spoke the words in the acient Furry Langugae that my mother had taught to me as her mother had taught it to her and hers mother had taught it to her after she had won those words from the Great Dragon JarriJalleJar!
JortFullJarriJalle was a great evil beast that had tomented the lands of my father and my father couln’t do anything about it because he was yet still a small child of a boy (my father is really old you see, like the Doctor!)

Fortunately Douglas worked at a newspaper nowadays and he used the database of the newspaper to find out the hang outs of the Narrator’s croonies.
Their search led to a night club in the darkiest and stormiest part of Room 427. I was a little hesitant to go. It was rather scary and it was dark and stomy in that secting of Room 427. But the courage in me was greater than my fear because with Stanley’s pushing buttons I should be able to accomplish anything, right, I thought to myself.
And Douglas would join me.

So not to fall out of fashion we both donned their darkest clothing. I had to admit that Douglas looked kind of sexy in that outfit of his. But I didn’t dare to comment on that.
I instead poored down my soul into my make-up. I bore eye-catching blood-rose coloured finger nails with black streaking strips and gave Douglas matching treatment. Employee 342 gorgeous eyes met mine and for a moment we were both swimming in a pool made of a gorgeous combination of their eyes colours. It was romance we knew, but we didn’t know whether it was a forbidden one or not!

Then we went off and defeated the Narrator.

And this is where the story ends…

It has come… to my attention… that “some” “critics”… don’t like my art. They say that it’s…it’s all sciencetifically inaccurate and racist (I had a black classmate in my class once and he was really stupid lol) . That hurts me a lot. Really… a lot.
Do u know how long it takes me to write my stories? Do u think I like it being stuck at home with nothing to do but writing my soul into my art? I don’t have a lot of friends and I fuckjed up my last test!

Writing is the only thing that makes me happy, but if that isn’t good enough for u people, then I’m going to call it quits!
Yes, that’s righr! I won’t finish this story! U WON! HAPPY NOW?!!!!

I want to thank PrincessSnape5 and Tinkercorn for beta reading, but I… I… I… just can’t take it anymore.

Goodbye internet. I’ll never use you AGAIN!

Feb 08, 2014 at 02:46PM EST
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Baed story for 10 year oleds
__________________________________________________________________________________

Mary Sue is killing Bad Sue

“die niga or i cut u bich” -Mary Sue
“ur awsme ess 2 god” -Bad Sue
“u not cool niga die” -Mary Sue

slice

“tht fkin hurt bich” -Bad Sue
“tim to dead bich” -Mary Sue
“no u ded bich ass eat myi dck” -Bad Sue

Slice Miss
Slice Miss
*Slice**Miss*

“you cnt kil me bich” -Mary Sue
uses spirit bomb on Bad Sue
“nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo” -Bad Sue

“i am god” -Mary Sue
“yes u are god cum wth e” -PewDiePie
“u are best” -Chuck Norris
“train with me” -The Rock

and Mary Sue killed all the enemies, slayed all the bad people, and saved true love like Zelda, and Peach……

This is a really bad story, also meant to be laughed at

Feb 08, 2014 at 07:08PM EST
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I made one with the “potato girl” well… duh

Hahaha!!! Keith Shadis the evil villian laughed as he gazed at his huge armies!!! "Soon I will take over Earth!!! And nobody can stop me!!!

Summary:
I suck at writing summaries. Bsides the ‘fic isn’t that long!

Sasha was sitting behind her pc. She felt the tears well up in her eyes . After their last adventure, Sasha found out just exactly how cruel people could be. How hurtful and judging real humans actually were. Sasha stared at a picture of a hippo. A magnificent beast who would not hesitate to kill her but at least it would be quick. Not a overlong conspiracy of many years, just to be unleashed on her when she was at her weakest and darkest moment. When she needed her friends the most.

But there had been one lone ray of hope in this whole nightmare. Sasha remembered fondly the day she discovered it. It was a tuesday morning she rememberanced. The memories surfaced before her mind’s eye and took the most wonderful shapes. Before Sasha well knew it, a single tear welled up in her eyes and trickled down her cheek.
Because even when all her ‘friends’ betrayed her, there was one consistant factor in her life: Keith Shadis.

And Sasha knew that the rising aspirations between them could never become true, the feelings Sasha had for Keith Shadis were the only thing in this world that still felt true to him. No lies, just that single, deep sense and feeling for Keith Shadis.

Alas, Sasha thought to herself. Why must they battle? Why must Sasha be destined to obliterate Keith Shadis? Can she ever tell Keith Shadis how much Keith Shadis means to Sasha?

If only she could. Then all her pain would be over. No more betrayal. No more suffering under the laughter from Eren (who told her he loved her, only to stab her right inti the heart at valentines day!). No, only Keith Shadis and Sasha’s true feelings for him.

A/N Lol this has all been so depressive lol! My next bit will be less dark!

So Sasha got onto her moterbike. The others followed on their bikes but were quite far behind.
Sasha knew she had to go faster and faster like the speeding bullet. So She raced down streets and around cornors, skiding furiously around pedestrions and cops.
“No time for rules!” she called out as she passed.
“I have to take my full responsibilities of life!” she said.
Suddenly up ahead she saw some bad guys!
So she did a massive wheely backflip over them, punching them in the face as she was above them.
“Eat my fist!” She yellwed as she knocked them out.
She speed onwards past fields and towns and cities and castles and other landscape.
Then she saw the roadsign to where she had to go, and so she went. She whacked some more bad guys out with a sideways 360 spin, before leaping off the bike.
Later, when the others catched up, they continued their journey.
“And Sasha met Keith Shadis and she said “omgosh you look big and scary”. Keith Shadis laughed.
“I came here to kill you, but now I know I cant. I I..your going to kill me arnt you?”

“No, why should I? Your a ghost like me. Look deep into your heart you know it to be true.
Sasha looked deep into his soul, and saw the truth. She was one. She was on the wrong side all along.
She left who she wrongly thought were her friends , and joined his true family.
And so they lived happly ever after as ghosts.

Feb 09, 2014 at 12:58PM EST
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Skeletor-sm

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