two tumblr texts posts

25 Tumblr Posts To Bring You Laughs Through The Weekend

It's been quite the week, as you're all already well aware, and for us, the best cure to stave off anxiety is to laugh at some excellent jokes. Many of these come from Tumblr, which still is the home of some of the internet's wittiest and most amusing text posts.

For those who fell out of Tumblr and feel too far removed to dive back in the /r/CuratedTumblr subreddit continues to be the home of the top posts Tumblr has to offer. Started in 2021, the subreddit catalogs some hall of fame posts that maybe haven't gotten the attention they deserve by virtue of being on a less-frequented platform. The posts' less widespread reach is unfortunate, but perhaps it's also necessary, as Tumblr's insular culture is what gives rise to its unique sense of humor.

Relax with some of the site's best puns, witticisms, bon mots and surreal posts as you head into this weekend, because heaven knows we all deserve a good laugh.

My Air Fryer The Spy

zvaigzdelasas Follow The Telegraph✶ @Telegraph Follow ▲ Air fryers could be sending sensitive personal data to China, consumers have been warned, as campaigners flag growing privacy concerns around the popular kitchen gadget The Telegraph telegraph.co.uk Is your air fryer spying on you? 3:22.05 Nov 24 - 78.4K Views Cmon man boag Follow Me talking to my air fryer: Help me. I am a 8 year old boy living in the illegitimate Yankee Capitalist regime. President Xi, our shelves are empty and we are hungry. I am asking you to liberate my state of Connecticut with your Chengdu J-20 Stealth air superiority fighters and your Dongfeng 41 Missiles. 6,309 notes

(Source: Reddit)

Exceptional Lying

hermesapprentice Lies I have told I always tell people that my cat doesn't really like people that much even though she is really cuddly so they feel special when she cuddles them. softjoly You are the best person

(Source: Reddit)

Flaming Aces

vulgarmaw Follow Jul 2, 2023 Could a homosexual lend me, an asexual, a single use of the word flaming? amulet-coin Jul 2, 2023 Follow YOU have obtained: x1 vulgarmaw Jul 2, 2023 I, a flaming asexual, need someone to please call the fire department. It is an emergency. vexwerewolf Follow Sep 29, 2023 Perfectly executed joke, no notes 104,574 notes D 17

(Source: Reddit)

Train Crash of a Post

vamptits Follow they want you to make fried rice memser Follow who is "they" vamptits the wok left solongandthanksforallthefish42 Follow how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

(Source: Redd)

Glow Up

toesuckingoctober Follow Based on your likes! LON 234 C Anyone else think he'd be kind of attractive if he was $100 instead? Hold on they're putting me down 2,778 notes D

(Source: Reddit)

Ted Talker

importantlesbian Follow imagine if people still took last names from their trade like fisher, smith and fletcher. imagine some guy introducing himself to you as jonathan podcaster scribblestheunicorn Follow It's him,,, Ted Talker

(Source: Reddit)

Proper Citation

anti-potato Follow 4d ago sources? a little birdie, et al. (2024) 13 791 notes о

(Source: Reddit)

Food For Thought And Worms

just-shower-thoughts How long does someone have to be dead before it's considered archeology instead of grave robbing? australopithecusrex as an archaeologist, i find this a veRY AWKWARD QUESTION witch-with-a-d--- answer the question grave robber Bron: just-shower-thoughts 468.072 notities

(Source: Reddit)

No Need To Be Dramatic

plaguedocboi Follow *pokes you with my doctor stick as you lie face down on the ground* plague-masks-n-mushrooms Follow *emits a cloud of toxic spores* plaguedocboi Well there's no need to be dramatic bowling-with-skulls Follow *poke* poke i physically had to draw this 79,520 notes -Well, there's no need to be dramatic. D [7

(Source: Reddit)

Be Aware Of Stress

thelearnedwobbly reblogged sith-shenanigans 4h ago tikkunolamorgtfo Follow Nov 6, 2020 LMAO I just found out that it's Stress Awareness week. flouryhedgehog Follow Nov 6, 2020 Mission accomplished, I am certainly aware of stress. whump-it Follow Nov 6, 2020 I am SO aware of stress right now. 77,465 notes [7

(Source: Reddit)

Updates On The Queen

BBC infectiouspiss Follow Yesterday Breaking News 1m ago The Queen is unwell with a chest infection and has withdrawn from her engagements this week, Buckingham Palace says she's already dead what do you mean omtai Follow Yesterday charles transitioned infectiouspiss Yesterday 30 242 notes it's diverse D

(Source: Reddit)

You Wont Get This From Any Other Site

We're no strangers to loss You know the pattern, and so do I... omega-bellum May God bring his wrath down upon each and every one of you.

(Source: Reddit)

Power Of The Baby

anonymous asked: I can pretty accurately visualize the shape and texture of most objects if I specifically imagine miniature versions inside my mouth. One of my more useless skills /d/ max1461 The spirit of the newborn is strong in you. You have the baby gift. You have been gifted this power by The Baby. 55 notes

(Source: Reddit)

Take A Chill Pill

coughloop Follow oh come on man youre just being paranoid no ones ever died from anything 30,483 notes DD ♡

(Source: Reddit)

The Whole Club Disappeared

3000s Follow Jul 23 nothing bottom jeans and boots with the nothing 3000s Jul 23 the whole club was gone hellsitegenetics 2d ago String identified: Closest match:

(Source: Reddit)

Beware My Cage

solardrake Jun 15, 2022 , you stick your fingers in my cage... my pitch black cage. you feel something cold and wet...you retract your fingers and to your horror you realize i painted your nails! :) i hope you like them 70,376 notes on

(Source: Reddit)

Meeting Outside The Cave

estrogenesis-evangelion Follow hey wait! i know you! we used to be chained next to each other in the cave! wow, so good to see you, how are ya? man. remember how we used to talk about the shadows on the wall together. gosh that was a long time ago. but hey. sure is one heck of a sun out here, right? it's good to see you. #me when i run into people after a long time b theyre also trans now 821 notes D

(Source: Reddit)

It Was Made For Lightning McQueen

picsthatmakeyougohmm lonesplashy Follow IT MADS FOR ME! Rusteze 1982 TH 15 MY HOLE! 15,690 notes DD ♡ [7

(Source: Reddit)

Call Out Post

thx Follow call out post HELLO??? IS ANYONE THERE???????? achivement-unlocked Achievement unlocked! Hello world! Is anyone there..? #I intend for you to read this in the portal turret voice. ok goodbye #normal gameplay 104,032 notes D

(Source: Reddit)

That's How Darwin Did It

juniepops Follow if you hired a galapagos finch as a linecook it would perfectly evolve a beak to optimally smoke cigarettes behind the dumpsters 10K notes

(Source: Reddit)

Not How That Works

prohaloplayer Follow fixed a problem at work that i vaguely saw a manager fix once and i did it faster which means that i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin prohaloplayer #not showing my staff how to fix problems anymore........ i comen to get you :D 47,810 notes D 17 в

(Source: Reddit)

Come to the Bog

kaijuno Follow Are you tired? Come scream with us, at the bog meetings every half moon at 3 a.m. Blaze 9,247 notes D

(Source: Reddit)

A Theory of Ghosts

homunculus-argument My theory is that ghosts get their energy by sucking the oil out of door hinges. That's how you know a place is haunted. Because the doors creak, even if you've just oiled them. The ghosts suck the oil out.

(Source: Reddit)

The Ginger Ale Discourse

maamlet Follow me walking into the grocery store to buy everything bagels ginger-ale-official Follow Hohoho! I like this post! If I made it i would have written ginger ale instead of everything bagels but that's fine that you wanted to make a post about bagels instead of ginger ale this time around I get it → updogonline 601 me going back to the grocery store because i forgot ginger ale ginger-ale-official Hohoho! What a great post friend! I love the part about ginger ale!!! demiromantic-lesbian-ace-wizard I have this post as a screenshot on my phone casuallydyinginthecorner Follow @hellsite-hall-of-fame 276.4K notes

(Source: Reddit)

The Nefarious Napoleon

squashfolded Follow 2d ago Jack Aubrey: who is it that we stand against as the only force protecting the freedom of Europe upon these oceanic battlegrounds? The nefarious napoleon: #master and commander #chappell roan Blaze 124 notes

(Source: Reddit)




+ Add a Comment

Comments (0)

There are no comments currently available.

Display Comments

Add a Comment


Sup! You must login or signup first!