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Two images from the /r/AmItheAsshole thread about Dan's desire to have a maternity test.

Dan Wants A Maternity Test, And The Internet Can't Take Him Seriously

Viral debates start up all the time, but few are as entertaining and controversial as the ones found on Reddit’s /r/AmItheA**hole. Usually, the posts here are about someone wronging another person somehow and trying to figure out if they’re really the one to blame. Sometimes, however, it’s pretty obvious that the original poster is not at fault, especially in the case of this person, whose friend Dan is requesting a maternity test from a pregnant woman.

Since this was posted in late February, we’ve now had just about a month to process all of this, and things are only getting more entertaining, and this bizarre thread has led to a cross-platform discussion about Dan and his theory on how the baby isn’t hers.

The Original Post From Reddit

AITA for calling my friend an idiot for wanting a maternity test? My friend Dan recently found out he might be a father. I say might because the girl he's been having an off/on relationship with, Kara, is pregnant, and he's not sure if he's the dad. She offered to get a paternity test once the baby is born and doesn't expect any kind of support until they find out if the baby is his. He's on board with that and appreciates that she's not pushing him into fatherhood if the baby isn't his. The issue is that when he was talking to me about it, he also said he wants to get a "maternity" test done to make sure the baby is hers. Kara is visibly pregnant. We know she's pregnant because she did a maternity photoshoot and posted it on social media, so it's obvious she's not faking being pregnant. We've both seen her in person, too and she's most definitely pregnant. However, Dan believes that the baby might not be hers. I tried to explain to him that that's not how biology works and unless she got an embryo implanted in her then she's definitely the mother. She's a waitress and works for minimum wage + tips so I doubt she has the money to afford an embryo implantation. Plus it's ridiculous to think that she'd do all that just to baby trap a guy who is unemployed and living with his parents at 32. Plus he's never donated sperm. He's genuinely convinced that the baby might not biologically be hers despite not only me, his mom, and our other friends explaining that that's not how babies/pregnancy works. He's still insisting on a "maternity" test and told me that I was being ridiculous and that l'm the one who doesn't understand biology despite me studying to be an autopsy pathologist which has required quite literally years of biology classes. I got fed up and called him a senseless idiot and told him to call me when he got his head screwed back on straight. Ever since then he's been spamming my phone and has gotten a couple of our friends to spam me as well, telling me I'm being insensitive and he's just stressed about possibly being a dad. So, AITA for calling my friend an idiot?

(Source: Reddit)

Posted by /u/puddlespuddled, this post reads less like a discussion of a moral conundrum and more as a rant about the complete nonsense Dan is coming up with. We get it, Dan is scared and stressed out at the thought of being a father. But that doesn’t explain…well, anything he says, really.

At Least OP Is NTA

CanardDePluie • 16h Partassipant [2] S 2 Awards NTA...WTAF G Reply 6.7k 3 puddlespuddled OP · 16h That was my response... after the words came out of his mouth for the first time I quite literally said "What the actual f k are you talking about Dan??" G q 6.8k 3 ... CanardDePluie · 16h Partassipant [2] Classic Dan 4 366 ... OkAccountant7089 • 15h 3 Awards Dan the man, with no plan. But maternity tests? That's his jam. 373 +R

(Source: Twitter)

The purpose of this subreddit is to earn every OP the label of NTA or YTA, showing whether they’ve done nothing wrong or they deserve the hate, respectively. Of course, most people sided with the OP on this post, since logic and reasoning already weren’t working as a means of dealing with Dan. Then, this thread turned into a bizarre discussion about Dan rather than OP’s ethics.

Dan’s Theory on What Happened

(Source: Twitter)

Something tells me Dan didn’t pay attention in middle school health class. I can’t imagine how much wasted brainpower he must have put into this completely nonsensical explanation of why Kara is actually carrying her roommate’s baby.

And Yet Dan Still Won't Believe in Science

Adam @adam_round_3 Replying to @AITA_online i appreciate that the OP trots out their years of biology classes to back up their opinion that the pregnant woman is probably the mother of the child inside of her 10:31 AM · Feb 24, 2022 · Twitter Web App 8 Retweets 1,639 Likes

(Source: Twitter)

Dan’s friend here really tried to explain that Kara is the mother of the child that’s literally growing inside of her. They put so much effort into this, and yet Dan wouldn’t take their word on it, and still insists the real mother is one of the roommates. It must take a lot of energy to be that oblivious to the facts.

How the Maternity Test Should Be Done

Lead Detective Heather @heeliibo Replying to @AITA_online The 'maternity' test in this case is witnessing the baby coming out of her. NTA, one of the few posts where you CAN accurately judge it by the title alone 10:33 AM · Feb 24, 2022 · Twitter Web App 9 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 2,653 Likes

(Source: Twitter)

Based on Dan’s initial theory about the transference of the egg from one roommate to the other, he still won’t believe the baby is hers, even in the delivery room. But this is as close to a maternity test he could possibly get.

What'll Happen If The Baby Is Actually His

Heather Houlahan @hhoulahan Replying to @AITA_online Kara: Imma need child support and zero visitation here. Judge: That's an extraordinary demand. What grounds do you have for barring the child's father from contact? Kara: <waves printout of Reddit thread> Judge: SO ORDERED 12:59 PM Feb 24, 2022 · Twitter for iPhone

(Source: Twitter)

If Kara knows about Dan’s theory, I’m sure she wants him nowhere near her baby. This is a pretty good sign someone’s unfit to be a father.

Dan's Next Steps

"Impudent Strumpet!" @ImpStrump Replying to @AITA_online My first thought is that Dan should take the initiative and do all the work of pursuing a maternity test. Let him take the trouble of going to a doctor's appointment! My second thought is to wonder how Dan thinks the situation would play out if Kara weren't the genetic mother. 1:16 PM - Feb 24, 2022 · Twitter Web App

(Source: Twitter)

Seriously, what does he expect? Does he plan on handing the baby over to one of her roommates? Does he think he can ask a legitimate doctor to do a maternity test and actually succeed?

Everyone's Hoping the Baby Isn't Dan's

(Source: Twitter)

Reddit has come together as a collective on a common issue for once: every Redditor who reads this post sincerely hopes that baby is not Dan’s. Not because of any sympathy for Dan, but because we don’t want his genetics clogging up someone else’s gene pool. And unless the Redditor kindly provides him with an update on the paternity of this baby, we can never rest easy knowing Dan is still out there trying to deny Kara’s motherhood. This thread will go down in history as one of the wildest in /r/AmItheA**hole history.

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